I couldn’t believe the speed with which my entire life, let alone world, was being upended. Crazy Handsome Adam was really weirdly growing on me, like a mold or fungus, but I still had no wish to wed.

Not him, or anyone else for that matter. I mean, a girl should be wooed a little first, no? Though my mouth tingled when I thought about that electrifying kiss. I nibbled on the edge of my bottom lip as my heart began to beat a furious staccato rhythm.

And for just a moment I idly wondered that if a mere kiss should make me feel so warm and fuzzy all over, what would relations with crazy handsome be like? Granted he said he was a virgin, so likely sloppy and wet and…whew, I blew out a heavy breath, that sounded hot actually.

“No, no Myrtle Monroe, you stop this foolishness this instant,” I chided myself, most forcefully.

Eugenie, who’d never left my side and was still tutting over my disgraceful pair of legs, said, “Daughter, when did you take up mumbling to yourself? Adam might not be much, but at least try and pretend that you’re not touched, or I fear you will never marry. Wait until you wear his ring at least.”

I found it horrifying that Meri’s own mother was one, calling me… well, sick in the head. And two, actually advising that I try and hide my ailment until after the marriage. She wanted me to trap a prince, which was… well, bloody hell that was disturbing on so many levels.

Just the mere thought of trying to fool Adam made me feel sick at my stomach, and I wasn’t even actually betrothed to him.

I rolled my wrist and then growled when a pair of hands I had no idea who it belonged to, began to pinch and pull at my waist. Because apparently I’d also let my waistline go. How dare they! I was a voluptuous size twelve, nothing to be ashamed of there.

I smacked at another hand getting a bit too familiar with my exquisite pair of breasts.

“Eugenie, now, we really must talk,” I stuttered out between gasps of indignation.

Silks and fabrics were flying through the air. Sliding along my body that was now covered in gooseflesh because somehow and, I swear but it must be magick, I was without my skirt.

How the devil were these demons so damned quick at undressing me?

Then I felt the slide of fingers upon my knickers and gods above, but that was enough. “Do you mind!” I snapped, twirling out of reach of the sticky octopi hands.

I thought I heard someone mutter that Prince Adam would die of fright if they caught sight of my granny panties. I thinned my lips, my granny panties had a tummy control in it, so okay…maybe I was a little fluffier around the middle than I’d been as a teen, but it was just more of me to love.

“’Bout what, darling?” Eugenie asked, leaving me quite confused until I suddenly recalled that I’d been the one to instigate our conversation. I shook my head even as I slapped at three more sets of hands.

It was quite hard to stay on one’s feet, I felt drunk and the worst of it was, I’d not even had a sip of liquid courage. I could sure go for something right now that was for certain.

Hands began tugging at my hair, pulling my head back. I fought against its grip, but it was brutally unyielding and my face made a very strange contortion as I felt myself manhandled in a way I’d not felt since I was but a lass of three or four.

“Bianca,” Eugenie sighed, “honestly dear, that’s not how you do the royal braid, have you learned nothing? Should I send you back then?”

“No, mam. I’ll do better, mam. Forgive me, mam.” Bianca murmured, sounding painfully shy and devastated and I actually felt sorry for the lass. Even though I didn’t want to get changed and dolled up and I definitely had no intention of marrying Crazy Handsome, but this time when she tugged and pulled on my hair, I didn’t fight her at all.

“Well, catfish got your tongue, Myrtle? Did you rudely interrupt your grooming for nothing, then? I swear, this illness is progressing far too rapidly for my liking,” Eugenie’s snide comment set my teeth on edge.

I glowered, there she went again, calling me touched. “Argh! Will you just bloody listen to me! I don’t know you. You don’t know me. I’m fairly certain that there has been a terrible misunderstanding and all I want now is to be told where my wand is that so that I might return home. Your daughter is up there, I’m sure of it, but I promise you that it’s not me. My name is Myrtle Mo—”

At the same time that I was going to say Myrtle Monroe, Eugenie was saying with some hubris, “Myrtle Undine.”

For the first time since arriving here, I grinned. “There you see, wrong name. I’m fairly certain that I know who it is you seek, and I can’t for the life of me fathom how it is that you’ve mistaken me for your own daughter, but I suspect magick afoot. Now, no harm no foul. Yes?”

But when I glanced over at Eugenie in the mirror, I noted that her face was puckered up tight with dozens of wrinkles and her brows were gathered sharply into a tight V. A look of something new had touched her eyes. A bit of confusion mixed in with a dollop of uncertainty.

And this time when she looked back at me, she wore the same sort of look that Adam had when I’d been dragged away. Like she wasn’t sure about anything right now.

I nodded. “Now do you see? I’m not your daughter, and I most certainly cannot marry Prince Adam.”

For just a second, for one brilliant moment in time, I’d actually hoped that this might be the end of it. She had heard me, I knew she had. But then only an instant later her eyes were shuttered and she wore a tight frown as she said, “Myrtle, stop this foolishness at once. I’m no fan of Adam either, but this nonsense ends here!”

Then she clipped a hard nod at someone I couldn’t see, before she turned on her fin, I guessed, and swam away. But there was a knot of tension that’d gathered between her spine and I knew, despite her words, that she was unsettled and uneasy.

“You can’t do this!” I yelled at her back, wishing like the blue blazes that I had my bloody wand, I’d just whisk myself away from this place and never, ever come back.

And if the thought of never again getting to feel the electric slide of Adam’s mouth upon mine made me feel strangely hollow inside, well, I’d never admit it. All I wanted was to go home.

Now.

But after Eugenie left, I had very little fight left in me. I’d thought for certain that appealing to her mother’s nature would be my golden ticket out of here and back upon land. Why hadn’t that worked? I still couldn’t fathom. I looked nothing like Meri.

I didn’t know her well, but everyone knew of the hermit siren. Why, because she was hauntingly beautiful. She was fair of skin with seafoam green hair and a tail that gleamed like a champagne pearl. Her features were also very ethereal and softly feminine. She was truly an unforgettable beauty.

Whereas I had a slightly harder look. A longer face and nose. Higher cheekbones. Loose flowing blond locks, as opposed to Meri’s green ones. And a body built more like Jessica Rabbit’s than a waif thin fairy.

In short, we looked nothing alike. There weren’t even any similarities. Not to mention the not so insignificant details of our names. Meri and Myrtle sounded nothing alike.

So how was I being mixed up in this way? I just didn’t understand it. Stories always told that mothers knew, and yet Eugenie had looked at me as though I were a bug under a microscope.

I sighed, feeling unsure and even slightly frightened. What if I was forced to go through with this thing? Would I be saddled with a husband by night’s end? That seemed… insane. And yet, that was my life right now.

I almost laughed like the crazy woman Eugenie clearly thought I was. How did I always wind up in these ridiculous pickles? I mean, this sort of thing never happened to Generva or Rose. Just me. Only ever me. And all of this because I’d gone to that damned bloody lake to try and prove to my sisters that I could be just as responsible as they and secure a catering gig. Which now seemed all but a dream, I’d never even gotten a chance to speak of my spectacular pies.

If I could just get my hands on my wand I’d curse all their foods tonight so that they sang out like braying donkeys all through the nightlong.

The thought caused me to snicker a little thinking of Eugenie going “hee hawwwww.”

But the thought wasn’t enough to lift me out of my funk long. I couldn’t marry Adam, I just couldn’t.

And yet, somehow, not even an hour later I was standing just outside the doors of the great hall, dressed in a gown of nothing but ropes of pearls, and yards of sea kelp that wrapped enticingly around my breasts and lady bits. Holding onto a bouquet of varied seashells and waving anemones in every hue of the rainbow. Tiny striped fish were swimming in and out between them like contented little puppies and my knees were knocking together so hard I was sure anyone within fifty feet of me could hear it.

When the doors parted and I heard the blast of organ music, which how was there organ music twenty thousand leagues under the sea (I wasn’t sure we were really twenty-thousand leagues under, but I couldn’t help myself) was beyond me. The great hall, which looked more like an enormous amphitheater was filled to bursting with mermales and mermaidens and oh dear bloody gods, this was happening. This was bloody happening.

I froze like a deer in headlights, staring straight ahead at Adam who was dressed in his finest. He wore a brocaded silk coat of deepest navy blue and glimmering amethyst. It had threads of gold throughout it and bore an impressive looking crest of what appeared to be barracuda in battle.

He also wore a strange looking crown upon his head, like a castle’s spires, it rose high into the air—or rather water, I supposed—and there was even wildlife scuttling between them. I thought I might have even caught a glimpse of tentacles too, though I wasn’t sure of that.

As off putting as the notion of swimming things upon his head was, I had to admit, Adam cut a bloody fine figure in his royal best.

My pulse thundered like horses’ hooves in my head, and not because I was scared. Though I should have been. A small part of me was still internally swearing and screaming that I would not be forced to wed a male against my will. The days of women being nothing more than chattel to barter and trade with was long, long ago. A bygone era. And yet, here I was, being treated in much the same manner I had when growing up.

My opinions, thoughts, and beliefs simply did not matter.

As I was scanning the faces in the crowd ogling me right back, I spotted Adam’s mirror double. At least he’d not lied about having a twin. A very handsome twin with a beautiful bride and a gaggle of children swimming around them.

Cute babies, I thought idly as I was forced to continue the forward march.

I had to stop thinking about handsome twins and beautiful children. I had to get out of this mess, only problem was I couldn’t see a bloody way out of this apart from acting like the crazy that Eugenie clearly thought I was. Which I was tempted to do, but I glanced at Adam and felt sad at the thought of shaming him in that way.

Why I was so protective of his feelings was odd to me. But I was.

Some strange male held my hand as the wedding processional began. And even though I was highly annoyed, I was also cognizant of all the similarities between our lands.

The sirens claimed to have a distaste for us leggers in the above. When they spoke of us they often did so with contempt, as though nothing about our worlds had any sort of common ground. And yet as I was forced down the aisle, I glanced at both sides of the room with curious, delighted faces oohing and aah’ing at my passing. Heard the same stringed music I’d likely hear in the above, and saw a plethora of sea flowers wreathing every inch of the great hall so that I felt like I walked through a garden more than a room.

How was this not similar?

And up ahead, wearing a contemplative look was a male siren more handsome than just about any male I’d ever seen in the existence of ever.

But where he’d been proudly beaming earlier, now he looked thoughtful and he was watching me. Really watching me, looking me up and down and normally I’d feel a wee hot under the collar by the intensity of his study, but this wasn’t a lustful glance. It actually felt like he was trying to see something he’d missed earlier.

I rolled my lips in together. Wishing I had my bloody wand right about now. The watery air, since I had no clue what to call it—but it breathed and tasted of air not water—smelled like water lilies.

If I could use one word to describe my setting it would be lush and overwhelmingly grand. Something befitting royalty.

I’d had no idea that Meri was a princess. I was willing to bet that none of us had. She never put on airs or graces, Meri was just Meri. Our protector from outside forces that ever dared invade our shores.

Why was this happening to me? That was the question I still puzzled over more than anything. Again I would say it because it bore repeating, but Meri and I simply looked nothing alike. And yet everyone down here acted as though I really was their long-lost princess.

I felt a little like the king with the new clothes. He was naked. And everyone else knew he was naked, and yet they’d all ooh’ed and aah’ed over him as though he wore the very latest in couture. Only one voice had dared to dissent, a child. A child had pointed its wee finger at the king and very loudly proclaimed, “you look like a plucked chicken, sir!”

I mean, not really. But I always thought that story would improve with a bit more levity added to it, anyway, as I locked eyes with a little one seated next to its mama just a few rows over, I hoped with all my soul that that child would pop up and very loudly proclaim, “but you look like a plucked chicken, madam!”

But once I passed her, and no proclamations of my nudity was made, my heart sunk to the very bottom of soles. And any hope I had that this nightmare might soon end died with it.

How could no one see that I wasn’t Meri? I clenched my fingers.

“Excited, eh? We expect you and Adam will soon bring us a gaggle of fry, as is tradition. All your mucking about, Myrtle—”

I glowered, how could they get my name right, and yet not any of the rest? And what was this talk of fry business? They ate fries down here?

“—now we coddled your youthful flights of fancy long enough, child, it’s time do your duty to your people and your husband.”

My brows rose. “He’s not my husband yet, and if I have my say, he won’t be my husband at all,” I said with a sharp nod, feeling very contrary of a sudden.

He sighed. “Myrtle I always thought of you as my daughter true, long before your betrothal to my son, so I will speak honestly to you. Truly daughter, get this madness out of you already. You’re a princess of the deep, your days of being young and carefree are over. The queen mother is right, the crown we wear is hard, but it is sacred. I am sorry that you felt stifled by the pressures of royal life, I truly am daughter of my heart, but now it is time to put childish fancies behind us.”

I wanted to hate him, in fact I wanted to hate them all, but apart from Eugenie they were all stupidly kind and friendly and though bullheaded they weren’t actually cruel or evil.

But still. “It’s not the nineteenth century any longer, how are betrothal’s still even a thing. How could you do this to me…” I stuttered, now I was even starting to forget I wasn’t her, “her, you cannot betroth her against her will. It’s not right. It’s not done. And… and…” I thought of Adam and glanced over his way, we were very nearly to the center of the raised dais now.

The frown he’d worn earlier was smoothed out and his eyes looked focused, as though he’d come to some grand conclusion. But ye gods, my heart fluttered like a happy little bird within me, he was handsome. The male grew more and more good-looking each time I looked at him.

And I swear but I smelled warm cinnamon and vanilla cookies everywhere now. Which was exceedingly odd, since I doubted a royal banquet would offer anything so lowbrow to their guests.

I shook my head and frowned. I needed to focus, and as handsome as Adam was, I couldn’t stop pleading my case. Come hell or high water I wasn’t getting married. It would have been so much easier if I could have just found my wand, bloody hell, but even if it meant duct taping my mouth shut and saying nothing at all, that’s what I’d do.

Eugenie already thought me touched, maybe I’d start drooling on myself in front of god and country that would do it.

I took a steady breath and tried once more with dear sweet future papa in law.

“Please sir, you must hear me out.”

Adam’s father stumbled for a second, almost stopping his swim forward entirely. His hand squeezed down on mine with the gentlest of pressure. “Sir, am I? Since when did you and I become so formal, Myrtle? I was always just Triton to you.”

His dark stormy colored eyes looked sad and I felt a prick of shame, which was silly I knew since he wasn’t really my future father-in-law.

Thinking of him made me think of my real da.

My father had been a warlock of some not so kind proclivities. In fact, Mother had said when my sisters and I had been born he’d tried to eat our hearts. Yeah, real peach that one. So, it was kind of nice to see a dad who actually seemed to like his brood. That was novel for me and touched on my heartstrings a little more than I’d expected it too.

I cleared my throat and shook my head, I could not afford to get soft right now. I did stop walking now and instantly I heard the murmurings.

What is princess Myrtle doing? Does she not know the shame she brings to her handsome Prince Adam now? What a disgraceful child, running off the way she did. Far too opinionated a princess if you ask me.

I bit my front teeth together, keeping my calm by breathing in and out slowly and pretending none of the plebs existed. The opinions of sheep did not matter to the wolf. Mother had taught us girls that, and she’d been right, of course.

“It’s because I am not your friend or your future daughter,” I spoke softly, leaning in so that the clucking hens sitting closest to us couldn’t hear, though they were trying their darnedest, they were practically leaning sideways now and no longer pretending that they weren’t trying to learn the scandalous royal gossip.

I rolled my eyes at them but continued to ignore them.

“Of course you’re our daugh—”

I shook my head. “I am not. This is a terrible misunderstanding. Look at me.” I took a step back. “Really look at me, sir. Peer through whatever enchantment this is that has your eyes sealed to the truth, your daughter is Meri. Meri Undine.”

And that name he shivered. Almost violently. And stopped looking at me with confusion, his look had shifted. Much like Adam’s had earlier. He was staring openly at me now.

“Well, Triton!” Eugenie shrieked. “What is this muck and nonsense now? Has the girl filled your head with even more of her li—”

“Duchess Eugenie, hold your tongue!” Triton commanded in the imperious voice of a king and odd as it was, I felt warmed and not afraid by it. I was pretty sure he believed me. Or at least was willing to be open to the possibility that he didn’t know everything. Triton glanced back at me.

“How can I believe this thing? How could you tell me that a father doesn’t know his soul?”

The fact that I wasn’t blood but that he would claim me so had me trembling with strange and wondrous emotions. Gratitude. Warmth. Maybe even… love.

He gently knuckled my cheek and I felt a surge of hot tears work up the back of my throat. I’d not expected to like the king, but he was by far the best ally I’d never expected to find down in the below.

“My father was a cold, cruel, and evil man. So I say this with deepest sincerity,” I whispered huskily, “I wish to the gods you’d been my father, Triton, I think I might have loved you. But you are not. I do not belong here. I am a human witch. Only.”

I felt movement come in from behind me and when I looked up it was to see Adam, swimming my way. Crazy Handsome wore a grave countenance and his eyes caressed my body gently.

“I believe her, father.”

So he’d heard, well, I guess I’d fed the gossip mill for years to come. Couldn’t be helped and I was mightily aggrieved with Meri for doing as she’d done. Because it had to have been her. Occam’s razor, the simplest solution was usually the correct one. Meri hadn’t wanted to be betrothed so she’d left, and she’d worked with a witch of some not so insignificant power to craft a spell such a this. As a witch I sensed the power laced beneath this enchantment, but strong as it was, all enchantments could be broken. It just took faith and belief, belief that what you saw wasn’t the truth, but the lie. The more they believed the truth the more they’d see through this spell. And I needed them both to see through the spell. It was the only way I could safely get home again.

“You do?” I whispered to him with no small amount of shock in my tone. “No one’s believed me yet.”

Adam’s voice was deep and shivery and sublimely masculine as he said, “I saw you, or who I think could be the real you when your mother,” he frowned, “or rather, her mother, I suppose, took you away from me.”

He’d seen me? The real me? “You saw me?”

His eyes looked shaded with worry as he nodded slowly. “Briefly. You were like a mirage, a wavering veil had moved just for a moment and I saw…I saw…”

Suddenly the doors behind us flew open and a lone siren stood at its center. “Do not do this!”

The collective gasps and cries from the crowd would echo in my ears forevermore, I just knew it.

“Sorcery.” The chants began. “What is this dark magick? Who is she? She looks just like the princess too!”

“I am Meri Undine, future princess of Marianas, and this wedding must not go on!”