Shane
Heaven was for real, and it was in Delaney Fraser’s arms. And in her pussy, which was so damn tight each stroke was a transcendent experience.
That moment, when I’d held back out of fear of hurting her, and she’d had none of it…I felt like I knew what the Grinch meant when his heart had grown three times in size.
I don’t know how Delaney knew what I needed, except that she did.
And it made me want to blow her mind.
With Delaney’s legs trembling against my hips, I pulled out, almost to the tip, and then drove back home, sheathing myself inside her with one thrust. Her hands were roving, nails scraping my skin as she pulled me into her. I gave myself over, following the rhythm of her breath, chasing after those little squeaks and moans she doled out like bread crumbs as she soared to the same faraway land I was aiming toward.
I would have changed positions, but basic missionary gave me the best view of Delaney’s gorgeous face, and I wasn’t willing to give her another orgasm without watching it break over her. I studied the soft line of her jaw, the arch of her cheekbones, the gentle ski-jump of her nose, the inky half-moon smudges of her lashes. And those full, pouty lips that had called to me since the moment I first laid eyes on her.
Her hot center clenched around my cock, my balls tightening as they slapped against her perfect ass. I was inside Delaney, and yet she was sliding deep beneath my skin, marking me in countless places and immeasurable ways.
She gasped my name, and it sounded like a strangled plea. I slowed down on the upstroke, dragging against her as I pushed in, sweetening each thrust with an extra dose of friction. I was close to the edge and so was she, and there was no way on earth I’d ever make the dive first. Every movement was meant to nudge Delaney in front of me, watch as she succumbed to rapture, as the lightness inside her, inside me, overtook us both.
“Look at me, Delaney,” I panted, wanting her eyes on mine as passion turned her pupils into black dots in a deep blue ocean. I wanted to drown in Delaney’s sweetness, master her body like any musical instrument I’d ever gotten my hands on.
Delaney’s eyelids fluttered open as she focused on my face, and a moment later I felt her tremble from deep within, her spine arching, lips quivering as she cried out a final time. Radiant. Glowing. Mine.
I finally gave in to the tender smile tugging at Delaney’s mouth. Burrowing into her neck, breathing in her scent, I found my release, collapsing onto her for a brief moment before rolling onto my back and gasping for air.
I turned my head to the side, needing some kind of confirmation that I wasn’t the only one rocked by the experience. And damn if I didn’t see a droplet snaking its way down Delaney’s cheek.
What. The. Fuck.
Delaney
Shane reached out to cup my face, worry creasing his forehead. “Hey,” he whispered, swiping his index finger across my skin and holding it up for me to see. “You’re leaking again.”
I dipped my head in embarrassment. “Happy tears.”
Lifting my chin with that same finger, Shane locked his gaze on mine. “Happy tears? That’s a thing?”
“I guess so, for me at least.”
Relief smoothed his brow. “So, do you always cry after sex?”
Ummm…how to answer that? Did I really want Shane to know my experience before tonight could be summed up in less time than it took to microwave a bag of popcorn? I glanced around the room, as if an answer that didn’t make me sound like the somewhat nerdy, nose-in-a-book girl would suddenly appear on a wall. The kind of girl I’d been before having hair and makeup people. Before I was “Shane Hawthorne’s girlfriend.” I chewed at the inside of my cheek, heat racing up my neck, breaking over my skin. “I—I don’t know, exactly.”
Shane rose onto his elbow, looking down on me with a mix of confusion and amusement. “You don’t know?”
“Well, I’ve only—”
His eyes widened, and he choked on a breath. “Jesus Christ, were you a virgin?”
“No.” I hurried to ease his fear. “I’m not. It’s just…”
“It’s just what?”
“There was only one other—”
“Guy?”
“Time.” His prompt came out in the same moment as my answer, and I wish I had waited just one more second before finishing my sentence. Because I wouldn’t have finished it. I would have let his answer stand.
Yes. One guy. I had a boyfriend. That I had sex with. Several times. Maybe even lots of times.
God, that sounded much better than the truth. A truth that Shane repeated, rolling it around in his mouth as if tasting it. “Time. One time. You only had sex once before? One time, before tonight?”
Embarrassment gave way to irritation. “Yes. One time. Is there some sort of rule that says the women you bring to your bed must be some kind of sex expert in order to get an invitation?”
A deep belly laugh shook the sheet slanting across Shane’s rib cage. A sheet I was about to wrap around my entire body as I stalked out of the room. “What’s so funny?”
Shane’s laughter dried up as quickly as it began. “Delaney, you’re fucking killing me.” Definitely getting up, sheet and all. I pulled at it, tucking it more securely beneath my arms. “Why didn’t you say something? I mauled you like a dog. No wonder you’re crying.” His hand rose to cup my jaw, thumb sweeping along my cheekbone, regret slashed across his face. “I’m a jackass for not realizing, for not taking things slow.”
I stared into Shane’s eyes as I leaned into him. So close I saw horror snag the whirl of gold, unfurling. “Shit—did I hurt you?”
“What? No.” I shook my head. “Really, I mean it. Me getting all misty, it was because I’ve never felt that good before. Didn’t even know it was possible.” That last part slipped out before I considered how much of myself I wanted to give away. My body Shane could have. He’d just proven he knew how to take care of it better than I did. But the rest of me? He could do more damage than I’d be able to repair.
Especially since I had absolutely no idea what he thought of me. Was it even possible I could be more to Shane than just the next girl in line?
Shane dropped a kiss on my shoulder, making a fist of his hand and running his knuckles above the edge of the sheet cutting across my chest. Goose bumps raced across the nape of my neck as his fingers curled around the thin fabric and tugged it down. I let him expose inch after inch of my trembling body, so sated a minute ago but needy once more. “It’s possible, Delaney. In so many different ways.”
I wanted to swim in the waves of appreciation surging from Shane’s eyes. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” His words were almost an afterthought, as if they sprang from his mouth not to compliment me, but just to voice the thought in his head. Something warm and tingly unspooled deep in the pit of my stomach, and I shivered as he feasted on the sight of me.
Where his eyes went, his fingertips followed, tracing intricate patterns on the surface of my skin and causing turmoil below it. “You know what this means, right?”
Not a clue. I fumbled for an answer, my thoughts tripping over themselves in their awkwardness. That we should have sex again? Sure, totally on board. Or that we shouldn’t? Boo. “Tell me.”
“It means we don’t have to fake it. The whole, Shane Hawthorne’s new shiny toy. The contract you hated from the minute you read it. We don’t need it anymore. We’re real now.”
An eager kind of hopefulness expanded in my lungs, like helium blown into a balloon, making me feel light and buoyant. A high-pitched laugh overflowed from my mouth. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
Shane gave a slight shake of his head, his mouth set into a sober line. “No.”
His single-word answer was as effective as a sharp pin.
“I’m not asking. You’re my girl. Period.”
Shane
I was at the top of my career, but my personal life revolved around looking good in public.
Taking a chance on Delaney, on a real relationship…It could cost me everything.
But I didn’t have a choice.
Fighting to hold on to something is a hell of a lot different from clawing your way to the top. I didn’t know what I was missing until Delaney came into my life. Sex with her was just the beginning. A fucking fantastic beginning…but I wanted more. So much more. And I wanted her to want it, too.
My girl.
Brushing wayward strands of hair from her face, I touched my lips to the center of her forehead, the tip of her nose, lingering over her mouth. Giving, taking, tasting.
When I pulled away, her brow was smooth, her eyes clear. Her shy smile yanking at my heart. “I can be your girl. But…I gave up my job for this.”
I followed her line of thinking. “I know. You packed up your entire life to come on the road with me. But even though my services are pretty damn phenomenal”—I gave an exaggerated roll of my hips, loving the laugh that tripped from Delaney’s lips and grateful that she saw the humor in this ridiculous situation—“I’m not trying to skimp out on monetary compensation for your time.”
Her full breasts pushed against my chest. “Real relationships are messy, Shane. And both of us have avoided them because, let’s face it, our lives are messy enough. Having a contract, a defined set of expectations—maybe we need that.”
What she said was true, yet I still shrugged my shoulders. This might be the dumbest thing I’d ever done, opening myself up, exposing what was underneath my rock-star veneer. But it might turn out to be the best. I roughed a hand through her sex-mussed mane. “Maybe I like things a little messy.”
She eyed me cautiously, and I wondered if Delaney could hear the forced bravado in my voice. “So you want to throw away the rulebook you and Travis came up with? The one you’ve followed ever since he got you out of jail, the one that helped you turn your life around?”
I took a shaky breath, trying to see things from her side. If Delaney decided to get up and walk away, I wouldn’t have blamed her one bit. I was all over the place. First I wanted to hire her. Then I wanted to fuck her. Then I didn’t. Then I wanted to, and did. And now I wanted to blur all our carefully constructed lines. It was a lot to absorb, and I sounded like a flighty kid with one buck to spend at the candy store.
Blood pulsed, hot and heavy, within my veins. “I’m not that same broken guy anymore. Wounded maybe, but not broken. Not anymore.”
Lowering my chin to rest atop her head, I felt pulled in two different directions. I cared for Delaney more than I ever thought possible, and yet letting go of the safety net I’d constructed was terrifying. A relationship without predefined expectations could lead to chaos. Growing up, I never knew who to trust, who was safe. But now I was the grown-up, and it was time for me to act like it.
I’d avoided this kind of uncertainty for the past decade. And yet here I was, throwing away everything that made me feel in control and begging Delaney to get on the ride with me.
No seat belt. No destination. No plan.
At Delaney’s arched eyebrow, I relented. “Fine. If a few pieces of paper will keep you by my side for the next six months, I’m all for it. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s in name only. Written assurance that you’ll get everything you were promised, because I don’t want you worrying about a job for the next six months. Maybe I’m being a selfish asshole, but I still need you by my side. And besides,” I teased, “I think I’ve grown on you. Maybe you need me, too.”
She shoved at my chest, a sideways smile pulling at her mouth. “Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”
Fear and hope clogged my lungs as I rolled onto my back, pulling Delaney with me. “Not many sure things in life, at least not in mine.”
She settled onto my shoulder, her hair sweeping across my neck like a mink stole. “From the outside, your life looks pretty perfect.”
My voice softened, tinged with regret. “You make it feel that way. But not long ago it seemed pretty damn empty.”
Delaney looked up at me, empathy etched into her face. “Do you have any family? Anyone who loves the real Shane Hawthorne, not the fantasy you project to the world?”
I grunted. How could I explain? Shane Hawthorne wasn’t real, and the guy living in his skin wasn’t someone she’d want to know. “I do, but I don’t want to think about my family, not right now.”
A seed had been planted though, and I felt the slow burn of anger coiling around my heart. My parents were both dead, but I did have a brother. Except he’d given up the right to be called family a long time ago. My mind started down the rutted path that only led to a dead end. No. There would be no walks down memory lane tonight.
The best way to prevent the pointless journey was lying in my arms. Closing my eyes, I let myself sink into Delaney’s sweetness, absorb all the good I felt within her arms. I needed every last bit.
* * *
Sipping at a steaming cup of coffee from thirty thousand feet, I stared out the window at the rippling white blanket of clouds stretching as far as I could see. When I was a kid, I imagined heaven would be spent jumping around these clouds as if they were a playground, a guitar slung over my shoulder and an ice-cream cone in my hand.
I was nearly twenty by the time I boarded a plane for the first time, and it had been a shock to see just clouds and nothing else. No bearded man in a white robe. No angels, no happy cherubs. Just clouds and sunshine.
Emptiness.
Peace.
Right now I felt anything but peaceful.
Two hours ago, I had slipped out of bed while Delaney was still asleep. Tired after a long night of very little sleep, she’d barely stirred when I dropped a quick kiss on her cheek, leaving a note on my pillow.
This trip was a spur-of-the-moment decision. One I never thought I would make.
What the hell was Delaney Fraser doing to me?
Oh, I knew why she made my pants feel two sizes too small. That was easy. More than any drug, Delaney was the highest high.
Standing just out of bounds, she tempted me. And last night, I hadn’t stayed behind the line.
I’d crossed it.
And here I was, flying across the country, about to cross another one.
I would be landing in New York City in a few hours, one of my favorite places in the world. Madison Square Garden. Barclays Center. I loved the New York venues nearly as much as New York fans.
Gavin, my brother, lived in New York, too. He had moved right after graduating high school, never looked back. Now he was a criminal lawyer, one of the best in the country
The last time I saw Gavin was on my sixteenth birthday. The accident happened a few months afterward. A nurse at the hospital told me she’d gotten in touch with him, but he never showed, not that day and not by the time I left town a couple days later.
I didn’t just leave.
I ran.
Pretending that I hadn’t lost everything I cared about in the blink of an eye. Filling myself with drinks and drugs, fucking any girl with a pulse. Getting lost in music.
My life was different now. I was different now. My drinking was under control. I didn’t do drugs. And while I still loved making music, these days I only felt lost in Delaney’s eyes. I would do anything for her. Including reaching out to the one person from my past whose absence still felt like a gaping wound.
Travis would get Delaney’s father moved to a better prison.
But I wanted to do more. I wanted to set him free.
And Gavin could make that happen.