IT’S ALMOST TWO in the morning when Travis pulls up to the house. I spot Leo’s Jeep Wrangler parked in the driveway, and my stomach drops like an anvil plummeting from the sky. There’s no way he’d still be here unless Jill insisted upon it—and Jill wouldn’t make a big deal about staying, unless she felt Corie shouldn’t be left alone through the night by herself.
I curse under my breath as I step out of the passenger side of Travis’ SUV, wishing I could have made it back sooner.
“I’ll grab my stuff in the mornin’. You’re in the guest house tonight?”
“Yeah,” Travis grunts with a dip of his chin. “Thought I’d grab some shut eye before I made the drive home.”
“Good. Shoot me a text when you’re ready to head out.”
“You got it.”
Digging my keys and my phone out of my jacket pocket, I hurry toward the front door. I disarm the security system from my mobile and then sneak inside, hoping not to make a sound. I barely get the deadbolt slid back home before I sense his presence at the mouth of the hallway. A tired smirk curls the corner of my mouth when I turn and find Leo standing there, wearing nothing more than a pair of jeans.
“Didn’t expect you back until later.”
“Didn’t expect you here at all, which means I read her right.”
“You always do,” he mutters with a shrug.
I make my way further into the house, and he steps out of the hallway. It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve seen him last, but being in his presence does me a world of good. There’s no one on the planet I trust with the safety of my family more than I trust him. No one. The bond we share, it was built and fostered for nearly a decade before we parted ways. He’s not just a wall of muscle, he’s family—has been since before he married my wife’s cousin and best friend. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss having him around more often; but he’s got his family and I’ve got mine. More than that, I respect what he’s building for them.
Shaking my head, I murmur, “It’s good to see you. Thanks for being here.”
“You know you don’t have to thank me,” he replies, folding his arms across his broad chest.
“And you know I always will. Can you tell me what went down?”
He debriefs me in hushed tones, the two of us standing in the dark. He doesn’t have to say much before my blood starts to boil. Part of me wonders if it was better I wasn’t around this afternoon. My fist might have made it into someone’s face if I had the chance.
“I don’t know what your plans are going into the new year, but Travis and Frank aren’t enough anymore. I know you can’t control the tide, or forecast how hard the waves will crash from one day to the next, but you are Ashley Hicks on any given day. I’d put another man on the crew. Two, if one turns out not to be enough. Hell, if I had the man power, I’d assign someone to your service today—but Vollucci Security is still too small for full-time contracts.”
“I know. Don’t worry about it. I ‘preciate the advice. I’ll start lookin’ into it. Though, I’m pretty sure gettin’ her out of the house any time soon won’t be easy.”
“Don’t doubt it. She hasn’t let the twins out of her sight all night. They’re all back in the master suite.”
I hold my hand out and wait for him to accept the gesture. When his palm meets mine, I give his hand a shake, clapping my free one against the side of his hard bicep. “Thank you,” I murmur sincerely.
This time, he doesn’t negate my appreciation. Instead, he offers me a nod and claps a hand on my shoulder, encouraging me down the hall. I go without protest, and he’s right behind me. I barely hear it as he closes himself in with Jill, too anxious to check in on my family.
The room is shrouded in complete darkness when I enter, but I don’t need the light to maneuver my way toward my destination. I’ve made the trip more times than I can count, and I’m not worried I’ll stumble or falter now. Upon reaching my side of the bed, I don’t hesitate to feel my way underneath the lamp shade on my nightstand to switch on some light. The soft, yellow bulb illuminates the room, casting a warm glow across the mattress and the treasures it holds. Brighton is in the middle of the bed, his face turned toward the window on the opposite side of the room. He doesn’t stir a bit at the light. Tomi, nestled close to the warmth of Corie’s chest, squeezes her eyes closed and coughs out a pathetic whimper before she turns her head toward her brother and settles back into a restful state. It isn’t until I sit on the edge of the bed that Corie is startled awake.
Instinctively, she extends an arm over both our babies before she peeks back at me apprehensively. I can see her recognition as it registers, her whole body going limp in what I imagine is relief. It isn’t until she lifts her hand and covers her eyes that I realize she’s crying.
Without a word, I reach for her, encouraging her to sit up. She does so without protest, burying her face in my neck as I fold her in my arms. It’s been one hell of an evening, and I won’t deny the exhaustion that’s come with all the travel I packed into one day—but even with my tired mind, I know she’s being too hard on herself. I heard her on the phone. Couldn’t even count how many times she apologized to me. Only thing is, after the story I just got from Leo, I can’t think of a better way Corie could have handled the unexpected intrusion that ruined her outing.
I don’t say anything, too tuckered out to come up with words to wrap meaning around what I feel. Even more, something tells me whispered declarations in the middle of the night with one tired mama won’t take root. So, rather than saying a thing, I close my eyes and rest my cheek against her head. With my fingers buried in her hair, I massage the nape of her neck until she calms down. Her body starts to weigh heavily against mine, and I kiss the side of her head before easing her back onto her side.
She reaches for me as I stand, but I can see she’s too tired to keep her eyes open. Leaning over her, my lips graze her ear as I assure her, “We’ll talk when we get up, sugar. Go back to sleep.”
Corie nods with a sigh, her fingers falling away from my wrist as she settles into my pillow. I don’t bother walking all the way to the closet to disrobe. Instead, as I begin to undress, I toss my garments onto the cushioned bench at the foot of the bed. When I’m down to my boxer briefs, I pad my way around to the empty space on the other side of Brighton. Easing my way beneath the sheets, I do my best not to disturb the twins. Except, I can’t manage to relax until after I’ve pressed a kiss against each of their heads.
It isn’t until I lay my cheek on Corie’s pillow that I realize I left the lamp on, but I don’t get up to turn it off. Rather, as my eyes grow heavy, I stare at my babies. My muddled mind tries to imagine what today was like for them, and I take Leo’s suggestion to heart. As Brighton and Tomi’s father, I want to be able to shield them from the storms that come as a result of my life—the life I’ve chosen to live; the life I’ve chosen to bring them into. As a man, as their father, it is my responsibility to protect them. Fame and fortune comes at a price. Privacy and anonymity, simple privileges the average person takes for granted, I don’t. I can’t afford to. Especially not now.
As much as I want to believe that I can be everything they need me to be, I can’t be in two places at once. Right here, right now, as my exhaustion begins to pull me under, I accept the truth. The best thing I can do for them is admit that no matter how much I love them, I can’t fight every hungry vulture that tries to attack them. Not alone.
There are men and women out there who look at me and don’t see a father or husband or even a man. There are reporters, journalists, photographers, bloggers, agents and musicians who look at me and see nothing more than a paycheck. Today, my children were shown no mercy, and it is my duty to make sure they are surrounded to the point where they never feel like a meal ticket. It’s a duty I can’t take on alone, and I won’t let my pride get in the way of their safety. I love them too much.
I WAKE WITH a start, lifting my head as I pry open my grainy eyes, surprised to see the sun fighting its way through the blinds. I blink, and I know I didn’t get nearly enough sleep. I blink again, not quite sure what woke me. Then my gaze focuses in on the slight movement I see across the bed. I peer at Corie as she gently traces her fingertips along Tomi’s hairline in a repetitive motion.
She must sense I’m awake. She doesn’t even glance my way before she whispers, “I should wake them. It’s been almost eight hours since they last ate. The longer they sleep, the farther off schedule they fall—but I don’t want to disturb them.”
“Leave ‘em be,” I insist, my vocal cords coated in the gravely muck that comes with morning. Corie casts her brown eyes in my direction, and I ignore the scratchy feeling irritating my vision as I stare right back. I can tell she didn’t sleep much better than I did, but I’m smart enough not to mention it outright. Instead, I mumble, “Want some coffee?”
Nodding subtly, she replies, “Coffee sounds nice.”
“Be right back.”
I make it halfway to the door before I remember we had company last night. Confident the alarm is still set on the house, meaning no one has been in or out since my arrival, I decide pants would be prudent before taking my leave. I drag my feet to the closet and step into a pair of sweatpants, then turn to make my exit once more. As I emerge from the hallway, I hear movement in the kitchen. Upon my approach, I stop when I see Jill and Leo moving about the room.
Jill’s still wearing what must be the shirt off Leo’s back, along with a pair of sweatpants I assume must be Corie’s. My eyes drift down to her round belly, memories of Corie not even three months ago flitting through my mind. The baby boy inside of Jill will make his entrance into the world any time now, by the looks of it; and I know we’re all looking forward to meeting him. I won’t even pretend I’m not grateful my children will get to grow up with the Vollucci’s as part of their family. A few years ago, I wouldn’t have seen this coming. Now, I wouldn’t dare have it any other way.
“Hi. Did we wake you?” Jill asks softly, pulling me from my thoughts.
I shake my head clear and continue toward my destination as I reply, “No. Y’all are fine.”
Still speaking in a hushed voice, she goes on to tell me, “I wasn’t sure what time the twins would wake up. After yesterday, I thought it might be nice for Corie to relax as much as possible this morning. I recruited Leo to make some French toast before we got ready to head home.”
It isn’t until she gives voice to what they’re doing that I realize the ingredients for breakfast are on the kitchen island. I glance at Leo. He’s dressed the same way he was when he greeted me before dawn, in not much more than a pair of jeans. I offer them both a nod when I notice the empty dish in front of him and the milk in his hand.
“She’d like that. The babies are still sleepin’. I came out for some coffee.”
“Oh, do you want me to—”
“No, darlin’,” I reply on a tired, halfhearted chuckle. “You’ve done enough. Thank you. I’ve got it.”
“Yeah, you heard the man. You’ve done enough,” Leo’s voice resonates around the room as I head toward the coffee machine. He reaches down and taps a hand against Jill’s backside before he insists, “Off your feet, baby.”
With my back to them, I don’t see her reaction; nonetheless, I hear it as her bare feet carry her around to the kitchen table, where she takes a seat. I brew my cup first, sipping the rich, dark roast as I brew another. It isn’t until I’m doctoring Corie’s coffee, the way I know she likes it best, that Jill speaks up again.
“Ashley?” she murmurs.
I turn my head to look her way, and she continues without further prompting.
“I know this isn’t my house and Corie’s not my wife—but she is my best friend, and I’ve never seen her the way I did yesterday. I won’t presume to know what it’s like to live her life. I’ve seen glimpses of it—you know I have—but never as a mother. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, Christmas is eight days away, and she’s kind of a mess. Maybe…”
Jill pauses, and I can see the hesitation in her eyes as she smooths her hands over her protruding belly. Her gaze flickers toward Leo and then back to me before she suggests, “Maybe we bring Christmas to her instead of making her leave for Christmas. I mean, I know the plan was to spend the holiday at your parents’ house, which isn’t exactly out in the public eye, but I just have this gut feeling that she’s hypersensitive for a reason right now, and maybe it’s okay not to push her.”
My sluggish mind, still trudging through the grimy residue of my exhaustion and the fog of my growing worry, barely has a chance to wrap my mind around what it is she’s saying before she continues. She sits up straighter and her eyes grow wider as she talks faster, like she’s hoping she can finish her thought before I cut her off. I furrow my brow in an attempt to keep up, all the while wondering why she thinks she needs to defend her idea. It’s not half bad.
“I know it’s a big undertaking, to host Christmas with two eleven-week-old babies in the house, but I’ll help. And we can call Melanie. I bet she’d be all over it. And I know your mom is probably already ahead of the game and has the menu planned and the groceries bought—but she can just bring all of that here, right? And there’s room in the guest house for all of us, and—”
“Jill,” I interrupt, holding up a hand.
She stops immediately, sealing her lips closed as she stares at me—her blue eyes alight with inquiry and anticipation. I think about all she’s said. As the wheels in my head start to turn, I can’t argue against anything she’s suggested.
The guest house is about a half a mile away. When I bought our land for Corie, I did so with the intention of offering her and our future family seclusion and privacy. When we designed our house, I made sure it was built with the same integrity of my first home. It was made for us. It’s our place to rest, to live, and to love. While we’ve traveled a lot less this past year, that’s not always going to be the case—and this home was made to remind us of who we are; not in the eyes of the world or the media or even our family, but just Ashley and Corie.
The guest residence was something Corie insisted upon shortly after we moved in. Much like my first home, she wanted to adopt the same principles upon which the guest house was built. While our land might belong to us and our house is sacred, we have loved ones—friends and family alike—that we’d like to be able to welcome. And, much like the house I had built on my old property, the guest quarters are even bigger than ours. Six rooms, seven bathrooms, a dining room, a living room, a fully stocked kitchen, and a grand room—built like a homey cabin in the woods—not too different than the cabin in which Corie and I spent our first night together.
All that to say, it’s plenty big enough to house mama and Cap; Melanie and her boyfriend, Scottie; Jill, Leo, and Jill’s dad, Cal. Hell, there’s even enough room for Corie and me. Jill’s right. We could have Christmas away from home without even leaving home.
“I’ll call mama today. No doubt, if she agrees, you’ll have both her and Melanie blowin’ up your phone within no time.”
Beaming over at me, Jill insists, “I look forward to it.”
I offer her a nod and then take another sip of my coffee as I grab Corie’s mug and head back to our bedroom. When I enter our space, I ease the door closed with my foot and find my woman precisely where I left her. As I make my way toward her, I rehear Jill’s words in my mind.
She’s hypersensitive for a reason right now.
Jill’s not wrong. As a matter of fact, her observation only validates what I’ve begun to notice over the past couple of weeks. I won’t fault Corie for it. Our lives have changed drastically. While I know down to my very soul that she loves Tomi and Brighton more than life itself, that doesn’t make any of this easier. Yet, be that as it may, I don’t want to see her fall apart. I know she’s stronger than she thinks. She was strong when I met her, and the strength she carries has only grown more fierce and beautiful since she agreed to join me on this wild ride we call life. If she’s forgotten, it’s time I reminded her.
On my way to the bed, I set our mugs down on the coffee table in our sitting area. I then continue to my wife, determined to coax her away from our sleeping children for a few minutes. If she senses me as I approach, she doesn’t show it. It isn’t until I gently sweep a bit of hair behind her ear that she peeks up at me. I lean down and brush my lips across hers in a whisper of a kiss before I bring my mouth to her ear.
“Sit with me a minute,” I whisper, my voice still husky from lack of use. “Come on, sugar—they’ll be al’right.”
As I stand back up to full height, I trail my fingers down her arm and tenderly take hold of her wrist, lifting her hand away from Tomi’s belly. She doesn’t stir, still lost in sweet slumber, so I lace my fingers with Corie’s, implying my insistence. Hesitating for a breath, she looks over at our sleeping babes once more and then slowly sits up and steps out of bed. As soon as she’s on her feet, she looks up at me, and I can see what looks like helplessness as it mars her gorgeous, big, brown eyes.
I press a quick kiss against her forehead and then lead her to the couch. She reaches for her still steaming mug of coffee as she sits, breathing it in as she grips it in both of her hands. When she doesn’t take a sip, it dawns on me that she’s hiding. I don’t second guess myself as I reach over and take hold of the rim of her cup. She doesn’t fight me when I take it from her and place it back on the table.
“I messed up,” she murmurs, her voice thick and trembling with emotion. “Just—just tell me you forgive me.”
“Corie,” I grunt as I take hold of her chin. I lift her head, and her tear-filled gaze finds mine as I continue. “You didn’t mess up. I wasn’t there, but I didn’t need to be to know you didn’t mess up.”
“You’re right. You weren’t there; and I shouldn’t have been, either. They’re too little. I don’t know what I was—”
“Sweetheart, stop it. I mean it. You can’t beat yourself up for doin’ somethin’ so simple as runnin’ an errand or havin’ lunch with your best friend. We can’t be afraid to live our lives. That’s not how this works.”
She shakes her head, pushing away my hand as she argues, “I could have waited. I could have waited until you came back home and gone out myself. We made a deal. We made a deal, Ashley, and I—” She hiccups on her sob and seals her eyes shut tight. Shaking her head, she grumbles, “Dammit, I’m so sick of crying.”
“Cor,” I start to say as I run the back of my fingers along her tear stained cheeks.
“No, Ashley, stop,” she demands, pushing my hand away once more. When she opens her eyes and looks at me, I see the vigor of her will as it burns in her gaze; but the words that spill from her mouth contradict the expression—as if she’s at war with herself.
“We made a deal. We agreed to do whatever we needed to do to keep them out of the spotlight and to protect them. They’ve been to the hospital and to the doctor and that’s it. When we were in the hospital, Simon was there and we had a plan. When we went to the doctor, you and Travis and Frank were all there. I was stupid. I didn’t have a plan yesterday. I just—I wanted to do something special for you for Christmas, and I wanted to be able to surprise you, and I didn’t think it through. It was selfish and short-sighted and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
My gut wrenches as Corie uses the heels of her hands to angrily dry her cheeks. She stares down into her lap and sniffles as she continues berating herself. “You weren’t there when that photographer knocked into Jill and Jill jostled Tomi’s seat. When I got her inside and picked her up, she was trembling. Her little face was red, and she was just screaming. It was awful, and it was—”
“Hey, listen to me,” I interrupt. Curving my hand around her cheek, I guide her head back up until her gaze collides with mine. She blinks, causing more tears to spill over her lashes, and I sweep my thumb across her soft skin, catching a few before they have a chance to fall. “I understand why you’re upset. I do. Just thinkin’ about my little girl bein’ terrified makes me want to come out of my skin and beat the bastard who did it—but you’re not him, you hearin’ me? This is not your fault.”
Corie opens her mouth to argue with me, but I’m quick to sweep my thumb over to cover her lips.
Raising my eyebrows at her, I repeat, “Not your fault. Twist it anyway you want to, darlin’, but I will not let you apologize for wantin’ to live your life. Do I wish this whole thing turned out differently, ‘course I do. But from the looks of things, the most traumatized victim in this whole situation is you, baby.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I didn’t think ahead—think about you wantin’ to get out, and what that might look like with just Frank servin’ as your protection. We’re in this together. You’re not the only one who missed a step. We’ve never done this before. We’re figurin’ it out along the way. But you want to know what I’m sure of?”
“What?” she whispers against my thumb.
“Nobody is better equipped to love my babies more than you. I didn’t have to be here to know you did everything in your power to keep them safe. I’ve got eye witnesses who’ve assured me of this; but even if I didn’t, when I walked into this room this mornin’ to find you with our babies as close as you could get ‘em, that was all the proof I needed. Don’t be so hard on yourself, sugar. They’re almost as lucky as I am to have you.”
She stares at me for a moment, and I know she’s not entirely convinced. Nevertheless, she’s not arguing with me, either. I accept this as progress. Moving my thumb from over her mouth, I kiss her lips and then wipe away the last of her tears. When I hand her her coffee, she accepts, taking a big sip without a word. I do the same, studying her for a moment before I return my mug to the table and get up in search of my phone.
Corie doesn’t question me, but I feel her eyes on me as I dig through the pockets of the pants I had on last night. When I find the device, I notice I’m almost out of battery, but I have enough juice to make a short call. Upon returning to the couch, I drape an arm around the back of Corie’s waist. A small smirk pulls at the corner of my mouth when she leans against my side.
With her mug halfway to her lips, she inquires, “Who are you calling?”
I don’t bother answering her as I bring the phone to my ear. The line rings, and I press a kiss to Corie’s forehead as I wait for mama to answer.
“Well, good mornin’,” she greets jovially. “How are my grandbabies doin’?”
Chuckling softly, I reply, “Glad to know I’m no longer of interest to you, mama.”
Corie’s body goes still as she twists her neck to focus her attention on me. I wink at her, giving away nothing as mama chats in my ear.
“Now you know good’n’well you’ll always be my baby boy—but this Glamma has her priorities straight. Haven’t had a picture of them in days, so you’ve left me with no choice but to skip over you and get straight to the point.”
“I’ll send you some later today,” I promise. “They’re doin’ just fine. They’re not why I called, though. Wanted to run somethin’ by you.”
“Al’right. I’m listenin’.”
“How would you feel about relocating Christmas?”
When Corie gasps, my eyes find hers instantly. We stare at one another as mama replies, “Ashley Corbin, whatever do you mean? Christmas is a week away.”
“I know.” I lean toward Corie and trace my nose down the length of hers as I explain, “It’s been a rough couple of days. Like I said, everyone’s fine, but I think it might be best for Corie and the twins to stay close to home right now.”
My sweetheart whimpers, her whole body curling closer to mine as she dips her chin and presses her forehead against my neck. I squeeze my fingers, still gripped around her waist, certain it’s relief I sense as she blows out a breath—the air warm against my bare chest.
“Did somethin’ happen I need to know about? Do y’all need me to come down there? Why didn’t anyone call me?”
“Mama, we’re fine. There’s no need to panic. I just figured, between you, Mel—and Jill offered to help out however you need—we could make this work for all of us. The guest house can fit everyone. Y’all can come down and stay a couple days, and Corie and the babies won’t have to go too far.”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line, and I can picture my mama’s face as she thinks through my suggestion. No doubt, she’s mentally rearranging all of her plans, trying to figure out the probability of pulling off a hail Mary with only a week between now and Christmas Eve. I’m just getting ready to prompt a response when she finally speaks.
“My guess is that guest house is gonna need a good dustin’; and what are the chances you have a lick of holiday cheer in that place?” She doesn’t give me a chance to respond before she goes on to say, “I’m gonna have to let you go, honey. If we’re going to pull this off, I’m gonna need Melanie to get to shoppin’. And Jill, bless her heart, she’s about ready to pop with that baby boy of hers. I won’t ask too much of her. Mel and I’ll figure it out.” I hear her snap her fingers as she gasps and declares, “We’re gonna need your daddy’s truck to haul a couple trees down your way. Ashley—I’ve got to get off of here with you. There’s too much to be done.
“Now you tell Corie not to worry about a thing. She just needs to take care of those grandbabies. We each have a key to the guest house, so we won’t be a bother at all.”
“Mama?” I interrupt. “Thank you. And tell Mel it’s all on my tab.”
“There’s not much I won’t do for those grandbabies of mine,” she chirps, her tone sweet with amusement. “I’ve got to go. Talk soon.”
She hangs up before I can even say goodbye, but I don’t mind. I black out my screen and toss my phone onto the cushion beside me just as I feel Corie’s lips graze the underside of my jaw.
“I can’t believe you just did that.”
“We’re going to figure this out, Cor—together. One hurdle at a time.”
“I love you,” she whispers.
I open my mouth to respond just as one of the twins starts to sputter a pathetic cry. Both Corie and I turn our heads toward the bed. I feel it as her body begins to shift in order to get up, but I stop her before she can so much as think about setting down her coffee.
“Let me.”
As I stand, abandoning my own lukewarm beverage, I think nothing of it. Though my fatigue still clings to every muscle in my body, as I approach the bed to find a squirming baby girl trying to break free from her swaddling blanket, I ignore the effects which accompany my lack of sleep. The moment I scoop my daughter into my arms, the feel of her warm body against my chest is a reminder that she’s even better than I ever imagined she could be. I’ll sleep later—right now, as she looks up at me with her gorgeous brown eyes, I choose her.