Chapter One
Second Thoughts
The car raced through the alleyway, hot on the trail of their chase, the noise of screeching tires filling Melissa’s ears.
“LEFT! Make a—”
Abruptly, the vehicle flipped over a curb, flying into the side of the building and exploding into a fiery crash.
“That’s pure BS!” Melissa roared, tossing the controller onto the couch and scowling. “I had that!”
Her roommate snickered and shook her dark head of hair.
“Not even close. You can’t chase dealers like that. You’re lucky you didn’t get shot up like you did last time. I thought they taught you about restraint in that die-hard academy.”
Melissa pouted and rose from her spot, realizing that her butt cheeks had gone completely numb after hours of playing video games.
Good God, how long have we been fermenting in the apartment? she wondered, peering out into the darkened night. It had been bright and sunny when she’d last looked out the living room window.
“I hope you’re better in real life than you are onscreen,” Cara teased and Melissa glowered at her.
“Life isn’t Grand Theft Auto, you know?” she retorted, wondering why she was getting so defensive.
You know why—Cara’s about to embark on an epic lecture about safety and stupidity.
“Oh, I’m well aware,” Cara replied, flopping back onto the cushions dramatically. “Are you?”
And here it comes.
Their gazes met and Melissa was the first to look away, a frisson of indecision coursing through her veins. It wasn’t her first inkling of foreboding but she hoped it would be her last.
It starts tomorrow and you have no time for second thoughts.
“I know what I’m doing,” Melissa muttered, stalking into the kitchen. “I’ve been training for this—”
“Your whole life,” Cara finished, exasperation coloring her tone. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re just saying that by rote or if you actually mean that anymore.”
Melissa paused and cast the brunette a pensive look.
“Why would you say that, Cara?” she asked and Cara shrugged instantly, lowering her gaze. “You don’t think my heart is in it?”
“I’m not looking to start a fight with you, Liss. I’m just…”
Melissa waited, not only for her friend to finish her thought but for a spark of annoyance to surge through her.
It was mildly surprising when the irritation didn’t surface and Melissa wondered why.
Maybe you’re becoming impervious to these pointless conversations, she reasoned, but she turned her attention fully on her roommate.
“Well?” Melissa insisted. “Say what’s on your mind.”
“It’s just…” Cara sighed reluctantly. “You promise you won’t get mad?”
“Nope,” Melissa replied honestly. “But I will hear you out.”
Cara gritted her teeth.
“Liss, you’ve always wanted to be a cop. I know that, but lately, you seem… I dunno, on edge, like the closer you get to starting, the more you’re having second thoughts about the whole thing.”
Melissa scoffed and shook her short, blonde head of hair in denial.
“I am not!”
“Okay,” Cara relented, throwing up her hands as if she’d already forsaken the idea. “Forget I said anything.”
“I will,” Melissa agreed amiably, spinning back toward the kitchen. “Want a beer?”
“Yes, please.”
Melissa moved out of Cara’s view and opened the fridge, her mind on what her roommate had just said.
Am I reconsidering this?
It didn’t seem possible, not when Melissa had never wanted to be anything else.
From the time she was a small child, she remembered playing “Cops and Robbers” with the boys at school, much to her mother’s chagrin.
It had less to do with the unladylike nature of the game than the danger involved in handling make-believe guns.
Perhaps it was the fact that they had moved around so much in her youth that Melissa had always been plagued with a sense of impending danger following them around, although from what and to where they were running, she had never been clear.
As she reached her teens and was able to make sense of the fact that she and her mom were constantly on the move, she was presented with more questions than answers.
Maybe if Lisa Stark had been more apt to divulge the truth about Melissa’s biological father, or perhaps if there hadn’t been such a shroud of secrecy entrenching her life, she would have sought a different career.
But now I’m a cop. Or as of tomorrow morning, I’m going to be a cop. It’s a little late to change my mind now, isn’t it?
The real question was, did she think she was ready or was it a dream she’d been hanging onto since childhood?
She snatched two beers out of the fridge and slammed the door with more force than she intended, rejoining Cara in the living room.
“So, what happens if you die out there?” Cara asked conversationally and Melissa snorted.
“Aren’t you pleasant?”
“I’m just saying, am I your next of kin now? Like, should I always have my cell on in case of ‘the call?’”
“I’m not going to die!” Melissa gaped at her, half-awed, half-disgusted at the way her friend’s mind worked.
“But if you do…”
“You’re worried about my pension? You’re not my wife, you know.”
Cara cast her a sly look and untwisted the cap off the beer bottle, taking a long swig.
“Is there more in it for me if I marry you?” Cara joked and Melissa swatted at her. She knew Cara was just trying to lighten the morbidly dark mood that seemed to be sucking the life out of the room suddenly.
She started it, Melissa thought childishly.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re looking forward to me dying on the job.”
The jesting smile faded off Cara’s face and she slapped the beer bottle onto the glass coffee table with so much force, Melissa was shocked it didn’t crack.
“That’s not even funny, Liss. I may screw around but I think I’ve made it pretty damn clear that I wish you’d gone into another line of work.”
“Like IT?” Melissa asked innocently and Cara grunted.
“It might not be lucrative but at least I won’t be shot at,” Cara grumbled.
“Not lucrative? You haven’t had a job in two months!” Melissa countered but she knew she was only using the argument to distract them both from the real issue.
Tomorrow morning, I’m starting work as a rookie in one of America’s most dangerous cities. Cara has every right to be concerned. What would Mom say if she was around to see me right now?
Shame washed through Melissa and she tried to shove the image of her mother out of her mind before tears began to burn behind her eyelids, but it was too late.
She spent her life trying to protect me from something and I’m pissing on that memory, aren’t I?
But that was a constant refrain in Melissa’s mind, the fear of dishonoring her mother’s memory, of the sacrifice that Lisa Stark had made for her before she passed away.
“Your mom would be proud of you, Melissa,” Cara said softly as if she could clearly read her roommate’s mind. “Even if she didn’t agree with your career choice.”
“Would she?” There was a bitterness in Melissa’s question.
Have I ever done anything in my life that I’ve been sure of?
It seemed that no matter what she did, she was always plagued by a feeling of guilt which never went away.
Guilt and longing. That endless, soulful longing. What the hell is that?
“I didn’t know your mom well but I know she looked at you with the exasperation of a proud mother. Trust me, my mom never looked at me like that.”
The women shared a half-smile but Melissa’s heart was aching.
That’s enough of this shit. No more doom and gloom tonight.
“You know what?” Melissa said abruptly, also placing her drink on the table. “We’re not going to sit around here tonight and have a philosophical discussion which will inevitably lead us to too much drinking and a deep depression. This is my last night as a civilian. Let’s go celebrate in rare form.”
Cara looked at her warily. “I’m broke,” she reminded Melissa.
“I know,” Melissa chuckled. “It’s a good thing we have rich friends, isn’t it?”
Cara groaned aloud and shook her head. “Oh no…” she moaned. “Not the Waylands…”
“Why not?” Melissa giggled. “Tomorrow I might have to arrest them but they don’t need to know that tonight.”
Cara sighed but Melissa could read the approval in her eyes.
“Fine,” she agreed. “But if I start making eyes at Louis, you’re getting me out of there.”
“Deal,” Melissa conceded. “But the same goes for me and Andrew.”
~ ~ ~
Portia was a speakeasy in the basement of a nondescript building on Milwaukee Avenue, not far from the Half-Day Forest Preserve. From the outside, it didn’t look like much but Melissa had been in the Waylands’ club before and she knew it was filled with debaucherous promise—if one was looking for such a thing.
“Don’t mention that I’m starting at CPD tomorrow,” Melissa warned Cara as they slid toward the side entranceway in high heels and short skirts. “I don’t want them to tone down the fun on my account.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t going to ruin our buzz with something like that.”
Cara paused and glanced at her worriedly.
“You’re not planning on bringing them down, though, are you?” she asked seriously and Melissa scoffed.
“Care, I’m going to be a beat cop, rounding up drunks and dealing with kids spray-painting bridges. You’re watching too much Netflix.”
She didn’t add that she was a woman and destined to remain in uniform for an unjust amount of time before she was likely to see any action.
No more doom and gloom, she reminded herself. Tonight, I’m Fun Melissa for the last time.
Cara opened her mouth to respond but before she could, Melissa felt a hand encircle her waist and swing her around so that she was staring into the eyes of a familiar face.
“As I live and breathe,” Louis Wayland choked. “The two most beautiful women in Chicago are at my club! I thought I was hallucinating when I saw you on the camera!”
“I thought we needed to give the password, Lou,” Melissa told him dryly. “You’re killing the mystique of the speakeasy this way.”
“Ah, you can’t blame me for getting excited,” Louis purred, extending his arm to loop Cara toward him. “I haven’t seen you two in months. Where have you been hiding?”
Melissa cast Cara a warning look but she was too fixed on the club owner, stars already filling her eyes.
So much for Cara keeping it in her pants. She’s already preparing to make out with him in the office.
It was difficult to know what made the Wayland brothers appealing. Certainly, it wasn’t their looks nor their cheesy one-liners, which they used on every woman before them.
Meh, they’re club owners. I suppose that still holds water to some of us.
Melissa blushed as she thought about the couple times she had ended up in the office with Andrew Wayland herself.
Certainly no more of that.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, doesn’t it?” Melissa teased as the trio turned toward the club.
“Not too much absence!” Louis protested. “Andrew is going to lose his mind when he sees you, Liss. He was just talking about you the other day, in fact.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls.”
Melissa meant it too—she doubted that the Wayland brothers had ever used a creative line in their lives.
“Only the hot ones,” Louis replied, leering at her, and Melissa smirked.
God, he’s disgusting. One day, he really is going to go down for serving underage girls or drug dealing or something.
Melissa forced herself not to think about it, knowing that she was just as disgusting as him for indulging their debauchery.
That night, however, she was Melissa Stark, club-goer, silly millennial, and out to have fun. There was no place in her dark thoughts for all the usual notions which kept her up at night, the very same ones which Cara had so bluntly brought up earlier.
Tomorrow, she would be Officer Melissa Stark and she wouldn’t be caught dead in Portia unless it was to be taking out Louis and Andrew Wayland in handcuffs.
Which will never happen because, let’s face it, you’re never going to make detective.
“Come on,” Cara hissed in her ear. “Let’s make tonight count.”
Melissa nodded, idly wondering if Cara actually could read her mind sometimes. She linked her arm through her roommate’s and they entered the club.
“You’re damned right we will,” she promised Cara, who squealed happily.
The trio brushed past the bouncer, who held the door open for them to enter, and descended into the underground club which was smoky with incense and sultry jazz music.
Despite all Melissa knew about the undertones of what was happening inside Portia, there was something soothing about it. She almost felt like a normal twenty-something as they were escorted to the bar. For a fleeting moment, she forgot that she didn’t belong there, or anywhere else, for that matter.
The longing in her gut seemed to be swept away with the bass of the music.
“Gin martini?” Louis whispered in her ear and Melissa nodded at him, surprised that he remembered.
“Dry,” she conceded.
“I hope not,” he leered at her and she shuddered, the brief peace dissolving.
“Same for me,” Cara purred, sticking her face between them, and Louis gestured at the bartender to get their orders.
“Stay here,” he instructed. “I’m going to find Andrew.”
Melissa was relieved when his hand slid off her back and he disappeared through the throng of people toward his office, leaving the roommates alone by the bar with their beverages.
“He never changes, does he?” Cara giggled, staring after him with a bemused expression on her face.
“No,” Melissa replied meaningfully, casting her a wary look. “He really doesn’t. Don’t forget that. He’s going to be sixty years old, hitting on twenty-somethings and popping Viagra.”
“Leave me alone,” Cara muttered, putting the drink to her lips. “I’m allowed to misbehave once in a while.”
“As long as you know it’s only going to be for tonight.”
Cara said something under her breath which Melissa didn’t hear but the blonde’s eyes were trained on the center of the floor where two men were unusually close, the sparks of fury between them almost palpable.
A fight is about to break out, she realized, and even as she thought it, she saw the shiny butt of a gun sliding out from the waistband of the taller man’s pants.
“EVERYBODY GET DOWN!” Melissa screamed, diving for Cara and knocking the brunette to the ground in a splay of legs.
“What the—?” Cara choked. “What’s goin—”
The gunshot rang out and the club exploded into a chaos the likes of which Melissa had never seen, but she kept her body firmly over Cara’s, her head raised to take in every detail of the shooter that she could as her training kicked in.
Screams reverberated through the dimly lit basement and Melissa was nearly trampled guarding Cara’s quivering body, but her sooty eyes remained firmly on the suspect who had managed to slip away through the ruckus.
Cara sobbed hysterically.
“I don’t want to die! I don’t want to go out like this!”
“You’re not going out like this,” Melissa assured her, slowly moving off the terrified woman. “He’s gone. It was just a spat between two assholes.”
“A-are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Melissa told her, jumping to her feet with surprising agility in four-inch heels. She extended a hand to Cara, who reached for it instantly, and together, they moved with the grain toward the exits.
“Oh my God!” Cara choked when they poured up the stairs and into the alleyway where police were already arriving. “Did you see anything?”
“No.” Melissa tugged on Cara’s hand when her friend remained in place. “We have to get out of here.”
“W-what? No, we need to talk to the cops and make sure that everyone’s okay.”
Melissa looked at her with a deadpan expression but Cara didn’t seem to understand her impatience to leave.
“Liss, we need to—”
“I can’t be caught up in the middle of this,” she muttered. “I am the cops, remember? Or at least I’m supposed to be. How do you think it’s going to look if I’m here the night before my first shift? I need to get out of here. Now.”
Comprehension passed over Cara’s face in a wave and she nodded, visibly swallowing.
“Are you sure we should go?” she muttered, looking around uncertainly. “I mean, what if someone got hurt? Or died?”
“You can stay if you want,” Melissa told her firmly. “But I was never here.”
She turned to flee the scene but Cara reached out for her to stop.
“Liss, what if this is a sign that you shouldn’t be starting tomorrow?” she asked urgently and Melissa gawked at her.
“Are you kidding me right now?” she demanded, looking around worriedly.
“No,” Cara whispered. “I’m not.”
Melissa shook her arm off and scowled.
“It’s not a sign,” she snapped. “There are no such things as signs. Only bad timing.”
She didn’t wait for Cara to respond before sprinting down the alleyway and disappearing into the night. She wished that Cara’s words didn’t follow her hauntingly for the rest of the night.