WINNIE

The day before I came home, Jenna received a gift in the mail:  two months of a weekly house cleaning and laundry service, plus a five-hundred-dollar gift card for food delivery.  “It’s from Philip,” she said and then read the card out loud.  “It says, ‘Best wishes for you and Timothy.’  Wow, what a great guy.”

I nodded.  I already knew he was a thoughtful person.

Jenna said, “Thank Philip for me, okay?”

So I texted him.

Me:  Jenna says thanks for your gift. [Kissy smiley face][Kissy smiley face]

He didn’t respond, but I thought with the different time zones in Europe, he might be asleep.

When I got home, I unpacked and went back to work.  My first day there, I was called in to speak to the Human Resource Manager.  I hadn’t finished my 90-day probationary period yet, and I hoped I wasn’t getting fired.

I hoped that Bernice still thought I was doing a good job.

After I sat down across from the manager’s desk, she asked me how I was doing.  “I’m doing great,” I said and smiled brightly.  “I really like working for Nilsson Worldwide.”

The manager nodded.  “I’m glad.  And I understand you participated in the mixer activity two weeks ago with the handcuffs?”

“Yes.  It was hard, but we survived.  Team 4 rocked.”

She leaned forward.  “I hate to ask this, but I have to know if anything unprofessional happened during this activity.”

“No, not at all.”

She said, “There has been some discussion of this activity on the internet – of you and Mr. Nilsson spending time together – and if there was any coercion or harassment involvement, we need to know.”

I was startled by her statement, but with the recent #metoo movement, I understood the company’s need to clarify the situation.  “No, there were no problems at all.  And I’m willing to sign whatever you want to testify to that.  Mr. Nilsson was a gentleman.”

The manager seemed relieved.  “Good to hear.  We already have reports from all the other participants, and you were the last.  But FYI, we won’t schedule a repeat of this particular activity.  Upper management has decided that it is too controversial.”

I wondered which member of upper management had decided that – Philip?  But it didn’t really matter.  Handcuffing people together for twenty-four hours might cause liability issues, despite the waivers we signed.

The manager asked a few more questions, had me sign a report form, and then I was dismissed.  When I returned to the banquet coordinator’s office, Bernice had some filing for me to do.

That evening, I started cancelling all the plans for my wedding.  I also called my parents to tell them that the wedding was off, not just postponed as it had been before.

“Oh, sweetheart,” my mom said.  “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I said, and realized that it was true.  I still had times when I cried at night, grieving over my lost dreams, but I didn’t want Shawn back.

My parents didn’t seem devastated by the news, and I promised to visit them the next weekend.  “We’ll have barbecue,” Mom said.

“Thanks.”  There was nothing like brisket and coleslaw to cure a broken heart.

Then Shawn surprised me a few nights later as I was walking to my car. At first, I thought it might be the paparazzi again, ambushing me in the parking garage, but no, it was my ex-fiance, wearing a suit and holding a bouquet of flowers:  carnations and baby’s breath.

They were pretty, but they were just another sign that he really didn’t know me at all.

I said, “What are you doing here, Shawn?”

He got down on one knee.  “I’m apologizing, Babe.  I’m begging your forgiveness.”  He held out the flowers to me in one hand and my engagement ring in the other.

This was totally unexpected.  “Stand up,” I said.  “I’m not going to say ‘yes’ just because you’re all dressed up and you brought flowers.”

Shawn struggled to his feet.  He said, “Give me a chance, Winnie.  Don’t throw away everything we had.”

He sounded sincere and for a moment, I felt a familiar tug on my heart strings.  This was the man I had loved for the past year.  I said, “Marriage takes trust.  And you didn’t trust me.”

“You’re right,” he said.  “I overreacted.  I was a jerk.  But I was jealous of your boss.  I knew I couldn’t compete with that.”

“It was never a competition,” I told him.  “I loved you.”

He nodded.  “I know.  That’s what Philip said.”

“Philip Nilsson?”  I suddenly felt as if I were on shaky ground.  “When did you talk to him?”

Shawn said, “He came by Alamo Beans to talk to me last week.”

“What?”

“He felt bad about all the media attention and wanted to assure me, man-to-man, that there was no foundation for the rumors.  He told me that your relationship was as co-workers, nothing more, and that he knew you loved me.”

I was dumbfounded.  I didn’t know what to say.  I supposed Philip must have talked to Shawn after our first few texts.  No doubt he thought he was being helpful, trying to smooth things over.

Personally, I didn’t want him to smooth things over.  Frankly, I was glad Shawn had said what he did to me – it was ugly, but it showed me clearly what I had been ignoring for months.  Shawn didn’t love me.  I was a convenient girlfriend, nothing more.

“Anything else?” I asked.

Shawn smiled.  “Oh, yeah.  He wanted to give us a wedding gift, so he bought us two new ovens.”

“How nice.”  I don’t think Shawn caught my sarcasm.

Shawn said, “I know.  I thought it was quite generous.  I like Philip.  He seems like a good guy.”

He was a good guy, but I was annoyed that he had interfered with my love life.  What right did he have to barge into my life, fixing things I didn’t want fixed?

I took a deep breath.  “Shawn,” I said carefully.  “I appreciate your coming to see me, and the flowers, but I don’t want to marry you.  I don’t love you anymore.”

“What?”

“We’re not a good match.  I don’t like your food and you’ve never watched one of my videos.”

Shawn gasped.  “What are you talking about?  You don’t like my food?”

“Not really,” I admitted.

“You’ve been lying to me all this time?”

“No.  I admired your dedication and your work ethic.  I was willing to support your dream, but –”

He didn’t let me finish.  “Was I just a game to you?  Just a way to get your fancy wedding?”

Our wedding would not have been all that fancy, but there was no way I could explain that to him.

He continued, “I should have known better.  Never trust a girl that doesn’t put out.  You were just stringing me along.  All that crap about saving yourself for the wedding night.”

I flinched.  “Shawn, please.”

He threw the flowers on the ground.  “Fine.  You do what you want, Winnie.  But I’m keeping the ovens.”

For a moment, I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry.  “You do that,” I said as he stormed off.