RULES FOR DISAPPEARING
BY WITNESS PROTECTION PRISONER #18A7R04M:
Always act like you know what you’re doing. Even if you have no idea what you’re doing.
“SO, what are you doing this weekend?” Ethan asks after we drop Teeny off at school.
I freeze. This can be an innocent question or lead up to asking me out. It’s cool spending time with him when Teeny’s around, and she’s almost back to her annoying old self. But a date is different. I can’t let myself think about him like that. I’m desperately trying to keep some distance between us.
“Working tonight. I’ve got some stuff to do with my parents tomorrow.”
I haven’t seen Mom since she popped me yesterday afternoon. She’s been holed up in her room. Dad’s taking me to Walmart to get more food and other things, but I’d be humiliated to tell Ethan these are my big Saturday plans.
“Maybe we could do something after you’re done at Pearl’s. There’s a party tonight we could crash.” He smiles and his dimple cuts deep in his cheek.
“I’m sure I’d be the only one crashing. And you don’t have to hang with Mary every night at Pearl’s, by the way. I bet you love working for free.”
He pulls into the school parking lot and parks the truck. “I pitch in at Pearl’s all the time, always have. I usually eat there two or three nights a week.”
Oooookay—now I’m mortified. I assumed he was coming by there because I was working. I’m obviously reading way more into his appearances there than I should.
Ethan and I walk side by side toward school. The parking lot is full, and people are milling around everywhere. No one is in a big hurry to go inside. I get a few odd stares, and I know it’s because people are wondering what Ethan and I are doing together outside of class or Pearl’s. We get closer to the front of the lot, and something’s up with Emma and Ben. They’re in the middle of a huge fight, both yelling and pointing fingers at each other. A small crowd gathers around them.
Ethan tenses next to me. His expression is hard and gets worse the closer we get.
He stops and stares at them. I’m torn. Do I keep walking? Do I stay next to Ethan? Are he and Ben going to fight again? Before I can bolt, Ethan barely touches one finger to my wrist. I’m taking this to mean he wants me to stay.
He looks to Emma. “You all right?”
Ben answers for her, “What the hell does that mean? Why wouldn’t she be all right? She’s the one who started this.”
“I started this?” Emma pushes him in the chest with both hands, and he stumbles. He’s got that look like he’s not going to take too much more of this from her, and I hope to God he doesn’t actually push her back.
Ethan’s posture gets stiff. “Maybe you should walk away?” He says it as a question, but I can hear the fury in his tone.
Emma turns on Ethan. “I’m fine. And don’t act like you have any say in this.”
Ben moves next to Emma, a united front now against Ethan. “She’s right, Landry. Be a good boy and move along.”
Emma shoves him away. “Oh, no. You’re not off the hook that easy.”
I can feel the waves rolling off of Ethan. He’s pissed and his fists ball at his sides. I’m sure the principal won’t ignore two fights in two weeks. Without thinking, I grab his hand and pull. He doesn’t budge at first, then finally he allows me to drag him away.
Once we get some distance from Ben, I try to drop his hand, but Ethan holds on tight. He’s still mad and picks up the pace. We go through the back door of the school and then through another door on the right. It’s a narrow space with barely enough room for a stairwell that I didn’t know was here before.
“Wanna cut out of here today but not get caught?”
This makes me nervous. Do I want to sit through class all day? Hell no. Can I stand to spend the entire day with Ethan and not like him more than I already do? Double hell no.
I lean back against the wall. “I don’t know, Ethan. I could get in a lot of trouble.” What if the suits find out? The possibility of being relocated makes my stomach drop, and I realize I’m more attached to him and this place than I should be. “I can’t. I really can’t.”
He looks disappointed. He’s still holding my hand and rubbing his thumb over mine. It feels really good.
“I get it.” He takes a step closer, putting his hands on my hips, and his head comes in close. He whispers, “Thanks for saving my ass. I was just about to knock the shit out of him, and that wouldn’t have ended well.”
I can’t speak. He kisses the side of my neck, and I’m sure he can feel my pulse thumping. He moves away from my neck until his face is inches from mine. His lips are so close, but it’s like he’s waiting for me to close the gap between us. I hesitate for a second or so, then lean in just enough to make contact. It’s all the invitation he needs. His hands leave my hips only to move to the sides of my face. Kissing him is as good as I ever thought it would be.
He breaks away, kissing me one last time on that really sweet spot on my neck, then pushes through the door leading back to the hall, leaving me alone in the stairwell. I sit down on the bottom step and put my head in my hands.
I should have cut with Ethan. Today sucks, royally. Ten minutes into Health and I want to take my book and knock Ben unconscious. We’re in the library listening to a guest speaker talk about depression and suicide rates in college and how to recognize the signs. I’m trying to ignore the fact that it sounds like she’s talking about my mother.
Ben started flirting with me the second he walked into homeroom and hasn’t stopped yet. He’s going out of his way to talk to me, and even walked me to the library. We didn’t have to sit with our partners for this, but here he is. Emma is sitting at the table behind us with a few of her friends.
Ben crumples a note and flicks it toward me.
Sorry I didn’t call you last night about our project. What are you doing this weekend? Let’s get together.
No. No, no, no. This is not good. I’m so not going over to Ben’s house. And coming to my house is out of the question. We have two more weeks to finish—it’s not due until Friday after next. I scribble back a reply.
Can’t this weekend.
Maybe we can find a day next week.
I toss the note back. He reads it, puts it in his pocket, then winks at me. I want to punch him in the face.
He’s using me to make his girlfriend jealous, and I know it. It’s a combination of trying to piss her off because they’re in some stupid fight and trying to screw with Ethan. If I’m really the girl he thinks I am—a nobody, new to this school, with no friends—he’s assuming I’m falling all over myself right now because one of the most popular guys in school is showing me interest. But I know his game. In my old life, I played this game.
Time drags but finally class is over. I grab my stuff and sprint out of the room, not even bothering to put my books in my bag first. One more class to go.
The go-bag is a pain. It’s stuffed so full of Teeny’s and my things that I can barely get a book in, much less two or three, so I’m back to my locker between every class. Exchanging one book for another, I slam my locker shut. Ben’s face is on the other side. Over his shoulder, I spot two minions watching.
Great. Surveillance.
“So, what’s going on with you and Ethan?”
“Nothing.”
Ben falls in next to me as I walk down the hall, the cheerleaders slowly stalking us from behind.
“He’s not the guy you think he is. You can’t trust him, and he’ll turn on you in a second. Believe me.”
I want nothing more than to defend Ethan, but I realize I don’t know him at all. Or anything about what happened between them. I dart into my classroom, leaving Ben in the hall, and find a seat in the back. Throwing my head on my desk, I wonder if the teacher will notice if I stay like this for the next hour, because I don’t think I have the strength left to deal with anything else.
When class starts, I raise my head to listen with half an ear. As the clock ticks toward the final bell, I picture Ben waiting for me after school and maybe even offering to take me home. Then Emma jumping me in the parking lot.
With fifteen minutes left, I raise my hand.
The teacher stops lecturing. “Miss Jones?” He’s one of those goofy teachers who call everyone “Miss” or “Mister.”
“I’m not feeling so well. May I be excused?”
He glances at the clock and says, “Yes, take your things. The bell’s about to ring.”
Well, that was easy. Once I clear the classroom I book it outside, toward the parking lot. There are a few random people scattered around, but no one I recognize.
I’ll have to walk home, and while it’s cold today, the sun is out.
I go one street over so I’m not on the main drag from school and walk at a semi-fast pace. I’m all alone now, hardly any traffic down this road, and it feels…wrong. I stop in the middle of the sidewalk—footsteps behind me. I turn around quickly and branches on a bush next to the sidewalk shake, and there’s a snapping noise like someone stepping on dead leaves. Is someone hiding in the shrubs? I glance around. The street is deserted. No one to call for help if I need it.
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
I’m ready to run when an older man steps from around a tree. He’s wearing overalls and carrying pruning shears and is completely oblivious to me freaking out on the sidewalk. He trims a few overhanging limbs on the front side, then wanders off to another part of the yard.
I’m turning into a paranoid basket case.
It’s a harder walk down this street because the sidewalk has buckled in places from the roots of giant oak trees. I make it about three blocks before the traffic picks up. I check my watch—school is over.
I walk another block and stop. Ethan’s truck is parked in a driveway up ahead. I’m guessing it’s his house since I’m only a couple of blocks from Front Street and he said he lived near Pearl’s. Moving to the opposite side of the street, I try to make it past without being seen. As much as I don’t want to finish the walk home by myself, I don’t want to look like stalker girl either. A loud whistle pierces the air, followed by a sharp bark. A big black dog catches something in its mouth midair in Ethan’s front yard. The dog trots back to the porch and drops the tennis ball on the ground in front of Ethan, who’s staring at me.
Great. This does not look good. Since this is not the most direct route home, it looks like I’ve gone out of my way to pass his house. Ethan jumps off the front porch and jogs across the street, the dog bouncing along behind him.
“Now I feel bad. You’re walking home?”
I hold my hand up. “No, don’t feel bad. I could’ve taken the bus, but I cut out of last period early. I took your advice.”
Ethan chuckles. “Should have taken it earlier and come with me this morning.”
Okay, heart really starting to pump blood, and I’m sure it shows in my face. Every time I look at him, my eyes go straight for those lips. “Yeah, maybe.”
He kneels down and scratches the dog behind its ears. The dog drops to the ground in pure bliss, and Ethan looks up at me with those blue eyes. “You want me to take you the rest of the way?”
Say no. I should really say no. “Yeah, that’d be great.”
Big smile, even bigger dimple.
He and the dog jog back across the street to his truck. Ethan’s home is an old two-story house with a wraparound porch and lots of rocking chairs. It’s charming, very fitting for the neighborhood. I follow behind them. “What’s your dog’s name?”
Ethan rubs his hands over the back of the dog’s head. “This is Bandit.” He lets down the tailgate of his truck, and the dog jumps in.
“He’s pretty. What kind of dog is he?”
“Lab. Best bird dog there is.”
I guess that has something to do with hunting.
We hop in and go about two blocks before Ethan asks, “So did Emma and Ben fight all day or what?”
His voice is tight, like he’s trying not to still be pissed about what happened this morning.
“From what it looked like, he mostly ignored her.” I’m not about to tell him Ben stalked me all day or what he said about not trusting Ethan.
“Oh, I bet she loved that.” At a red light Ethan taps the steering wheel and asks, “Do you want to hang out later? After work?”
“Are you talking about going to that party?”
“Well, yeah, or we could do something else.”
Decision time. That’s all I really want to do in this town—hang out with him. But this is like jumping off the deep end. After the kiss this morning and going out on a date with him tonight, I won’t be able to keep any distance between us. “Do I have to let you know right now?”
His forehead creases, and he stares at the road ahead. “No, you can tell me later.”
I’m pretty sure that’s not what he wanted to hear, but I can’t help it. At this point I’m terrified to fall for him more than I already have.
We pull into the parking lot as Teeny is getting off the bus at the curb. She spots Ethan’s truck and sprints toward his side until she sees Bandit in the back. She almost skids in the parking lot when she readjusts her direction to him. She climbs up on the back bumper and buries her head in Bandit’s neck.
Ethan gets out of the truck and walks back to where Teeny and Bandit are. They both look at him with the same puppy dog eyes.
“I see you met Bandit.”
“Is that his name? He is sooooo cute. Does he know any tricks?”
Ethan lowers the tailgate and Bandit jumps out. Bandit goes through his series of tricks: sit, lie down, play dead. Ethan grabs a tennis ball out of the inside of his truck and bounces it high on the concrete. Bandit catches it on the first bounce. Teeny is ecstatic.
Ethan throws Teeny the ball, and she starts bouncing it for Bandit. I watch from the tailgate, and Ethan joins me after a few minutes.
“You made her day,” I say.
“I wish I would’ve known she loved dogs. I’d have brought him sooner.”
“Mom’s allergic, so we’ve never had a pet. That’s all Teeny ever wanted.”
“Teeny?”
Oh, shit.
I cannot believe I just called her that. Out loud. It’s been three placements since I screwed up like that. I take a quick deep breath. “Oh, that’s some stupid nickname Dad calls her. Don’t tell her I told you or she’ll be pissed.”
Ethan laughs quietly and looks at Teeny. “She’s not really small.”
“She was when she was little. It just sort of stuck. Anyway, I guess I better get ready to go to Pearl’s.”
Ethan glances at his watch and says, “It’s pretty close to four. I could hang out and then drive y’all over.”
“No!” That was a little too loud and quick. I scoot off the tailgate. “I mean, Mary’s gonna have to shower or Mom will have some sort of horrible reaction. So, I’ll be busy getting her ready.”
“She needs your help for a shower?”
I call Teeny over and totally ignore his question. She probably would be fine to get herself dressed today, but if Ethan waits, he would want to come inside, and that can’t happen. He hops off the tailgate and whistles for Bandit to load up. Teeny brings him back the tennis ball, then acts ridiculous with Bandit for another couple of minutes before we can head up the stairs.
“Mary, I’m not gonna be able to make pizzas tonight, but Pearl will still let you help back there,” Ethan says. “Okay?”
Teeny’s bottom lip puckers slightly, but she says, “Okay.” Then she turns and runs up the steps.
I grab my go-bag out of Ethan’s truck and put it over my shoulder. Ethan tugs on it, and I turn around.
“I’ve got to go to the farm this afternoon, but I’ll be at Pearl’s to pick you up at eight.”
I open my mouth to speak, but Ethan holds his hand up. “Loosen up. We’re gonna go out. Have some fun. It’s gonna be all right.”
He links his hand in mine and pulls me in close. It almost looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t. I can feel his rough fingers on mine, and goose bumps shoot up my arm. I stare at his mouth, half open like he’s caught in the middle of forming a word, and I want to kiss him again, right here in the parking lot.
But he drops my hand and walks to the driver’s side of the truck. I let him go without another word. I hate being scared, but the last time I waited for a date, the suits showed up instead.
I have to remind myself—this isn’t like the night I waited for Tyler. God, that night sucked. I was dressed up, waiting for him to pick me up for a Halloween party, when the suits yanked us out of that placement. I had to stay in that stupid costume until we got to the safe house.
I spent the next two placements being a total bitch to every boy who showed any interest in me. I never wanted to feel guilty for deserting someone who cared about me like that again.
And then I met Ethan.