Chapter Eighteen
Devon’s gone when I wake up the next morning. He kept me up most of the night, tossing and turning. When he finally settled, he started to snore. After an amazing evening, one I’ll never forget, I got little to no sleep.
My phone is blinking on the table when I pull myself out of bed. It’s close to eleven o’clock.
ALLY: What did you do to piss JP off? He’s been in Tyler’s office yelling for almost an hour.
She sent that forty-five minutes ago.
ME: I told him to leave me alone and that I wouldn’t be there today. Is he still in there?
She replies immediately, her phone at the ready as if we’re in crisis mode.
ALLY: He stormed out of there five minutes ago. He didn’t look happy and Tyler’s been in Mr. Dixon’s office with the door closed since then.
ME: He’s such an asshole. I wonder what happened.
ALLY: Ryder just joined them.
ME: Who?
ALLY: He was called into his father’s office.
ME: Okay, keep me posted.
ALLY: Helen asked me if you were okay. She seems to think this has something to do with you. How would she know that?
ME: Helen knows everything. She sees everything. I need to shower and get ready to meet Devon for lunch. I’ll call you later.
ALLY: Okay. I’ll let you know if anything changes.
What in the hell? What could JP possibly be up to now? Whatever it is, he’s not going to get his way. Not if I have anything to say about it.
ME: Woke up late. Lunch at one o’clock instead okay?
DEVON: I should be done soon. I’ll come to the house.
ME: I can come down there.
DEVON: I’ll be there soon.
ME: Are you sure?
DEVON: Yes.
I’m not getting the impression he’s having a very good day. He’s never been short with me like this before. Even through a text message, I can tell he’s irritated.
Showering and getting ready for the day, I blow it off as lack of sleep. Turning music on, I don’t hear Devon come in. When I spot him out of the corner of my eye, I jump in the air and scream.
“Hey,” he says, casually leaning against the door frame of the bathroom.
“You scared me,” I reply, silencing the music coming from my phone.
“We need to talk.”
His arms are crossed over his chest, his face a blank canvas. If I were to guess, he’s suppressing his anger. At who? Me? What did I do?
“Okay. Let me—”
“I’ll meet you in the kitchen,” he states, cutting me off. Disappearing down the stairs before I have a chance to respond, I pull my hair up and follow him.
“What’s up?” I ask, taking a seat across at the table.
“Who’s James Shuran?”
My breathing comes to a halt. There’s no reason his name should ever cross Devon’s lips. I’ve never mentioned him before and—
The rumor.
No. It can’t be that. Can it? There’s no way in hell he could have heard it. Tyler and Ryder are both aware of what’s going on. Neither of them would have mentioned it to him. Right?
“He’s a client. Why?” I ask, cautiously.
“Is that all he is, Justine? A client?”
“Yes,” I reply, my voice sounding more confident than I thought possible in this moment.
Wait, why am I lying to him? This is my opportunity to tell him the truth.
“So he’s not your ex-boyfriend?”
Damn it. He’s baiting me. He knows exactly who he is, and there’s a reason he’s asking questions.
“I prefer not to think about that time in my life.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“What’s this about? I don’t want to talk about him. Not now, not ever. He’s the one part of my past that I prefer to forget ever existed.”
“I think we need to talk about him. Especially since you’re sleeping with him.”
No. This is not happening. There’s no way.
“Excuse me?” I ask, my voice failing me when I attempt to sound confused.
“Don’t play stupid with me. I’ve fallen for enough of your lies. What I don’t understand is why. I thought we had something good here. I was ready to uproot my life and move to be with you. I had it all planned out. This weekend was supposed to be the first weekend of the rest of our lives.”
Devon pauses, giving me an opportunity to defend myself, but I don’t. He’s going to believe whatever he wants to believe.
“I guess I should be grateful, right? I found out before falling in love with you. Oh, wait…”
Tears stream down my face as Devon slams his front door behind him. He’s given me an hour to get my stuff and get out of his house.
As I gather my things and begin throwing them in my bag, I pull the black dress he bought me from his closet where I hung it last night. Lying it across the bed, I stare at it in awe.
Twenty-four hours ago, I was happy. Life was good. I was in love.
Right now, all of that has vanished. In its place, a heart that yearns for Devon. A heart that will break the moment I walk out his door, knowing I’ll never see him again.
Searching his office for a piece of paper, I do the only thing that I can. Confessing all my sins to Devon doesn’t make me feel any better, but I knew it wouldn’t. My only hope is that it helps him to understand. I want him to know what we had was real.
Devon,
For the past three weeks, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been. That’s all because of you and I want to thank you for that. You made me feel special. There was a time in my life where I never thought that would happen again.
James was the last man I dated. We lived together and after two years, I found him cheating on me. It was more than that, though. He wasn’t just cheating, he was with our neighbor and her husband, in our bed. They paid him for his “service” from what I found out, and they weren’t the only couple.
I left him that day and never looked back. That was two years ago and until last week, I hadn’t seen nor spoken to him since. I had never planned to again. Then he walked into Tyler’s office and the crushing pain from that day came rushing back.
Since then, he’s been finding ways to get me alone, to spend time with me, using work as an excuse. While Tyler was gone, I met with him once to go over his media campaign. I had dinner with Tyler and him last Friday night. And he’s the reason I was put on mandatory vacation.
Because I told him exactly how I felt about him. How much I loathed his existence.
He doesn’t like to take no for an answer. He’s a persistent man.
He’s been showing up at the bar the girls and I go to, sending me gifts and text messages. No matter how mean I am to him or how many times I tell him to stop, he keeps at it.
I’m telling you all of this because I should have told you about him from the moment he walked back into my life. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but if you want to verify anything I’ve said, you can ask Tyler or Ryder. They both witnessed me telling him off the other day.
I hope that one day we will see each other again and that maybe we can be friends. I’m truly sorry things ended the way they did.
Love,
Justine
Leaving the note on top of the black dress, I hike my bag higher on my shoulder and head downstairs. Stopping in the kitchen to grab my purse, I remove the key Devon gave me to the house and place it on the counter. After one last look around, I step out the front door and close it behind me, my head held high.
This feels like the walk of shame, only worse.
I’m not walking away from a one-night stand. I’m walking away from the man I love and the future we could have had together. A future I destroyed because I wasn’t open and honest with him.
ME: On my way home. Drinks tonight?
ALLY: What? Why?
ME: Drinks?
ALLY: Of course. Let me know when you’re back in town.
Shutting my phone off, I pull away from the curb and watch as Devon’s house disappears in the rear-view mirror. Tears are still streaming down my face as I cross the Michigan border. Two hours later, as I pull into my apartment complex, my eyes have run dry.
“What!” Ally yells after I’m done giving her the play-by-play of what happened.
“I have no idea who told him, but there’s no doubt in my mind that he heard that stupid rumor.”
After four hours on the road, a good portion of it sitting in backed-up traffic, I’m certain of what happened. The rumor mill found a way to reach Devon in Chicago, successfully taking another victim. If I ever find out who’s behind all the rumors, I’m going to shove my fist so far up their—
“I thought you told him about that stupid rumor,” Ally says, interrupting my thoughts.
“I tried, a few times, but chickened out. Things were going so good, I didn’t want to ruin it.”
Nodding in understanding, Ally explains where I went wrong. Not wanting to talk about it anymore, I let her explain it all to me. All the things I’ve already figured out for myself. Her words become confirmation for the giant mistake I made, making me feel worse than I already do.
* * *
Monday. My least favorite day of the week.
It used to mark the beginning of a long work week. My days were no longer my own. Instead, they belonged to Dixon Advertising between the hours of eight o’clock and six o’clock.
Evenings were spent with the girls or at home with Audra.
The last few weeks, Monday’s were both dreadful and exciting. I didn’t want them to come because that meant Devon was back home in Chicago. I wanted them to be here because that meant I was one day closer to seeing him again.
This morning, I’m even more torn.
My excitement to leave for work is lacking. I’ve spent the last forty-eight hours locked in my apartment. I’ve watched every sappy romantic movie Audra and I own. I’ve eaten two tubs of ice cream and not much else.
So, on the one hand, I need to go to work. My other hand is still smacking myself in the back of the head for everything that’s happened.
Powering my phone on for the first time since leaving Chicago, I’m surprised I have waiting text messages and voicemails. I warned Ally that I was shutting down for the weekend. No cell phone. No Internet. I was going off the grid. I’m not sure she believed me by the sounds of it.
Ignoring the chiming, I toss my phone in my purse and head into the office. I’ll see Ally in fifteen minutes. She can wait to yell at me for ignoring her then.
The office is abnormally quiet when I arrive. Helen pops her head up when I step off the elevator, the phone pressed to her ear, and shoots me a smile.
Ally and Emerson’s desks are vacant.
Tyler’s office door is open, but the lights are off. Same with Ryder’s and Hunter’s.
Did I miss something? Is there a staff meeting I forgot about?
“Helen,” I call as she hangs up the phone. “Where is everyone?”
“In the conference room, Miss Justine.”
“Is there a meeting?”
“Didn’t you get my message?” she asks, shooting me an irritated glance.
Heading down the hall, I approach the conference room as Emerson calls out my name. Popping my head in the door, I clear my throat and all eyes fall on me.
“As I was saying,” Emerson continues. “With the changes about to take place in the office, both myself and Justine will be pulling double-duty until our replacements are hired. Please don’t hesitate to ask us for what you need. We’ll make sure everything gets taken care of for all departments. Now, if there are any questions…”
Her voice trails off as she exchanges a smile with Ryder. He’s beaming with pride. The way he looks at her, with such an enormous amount of love in his eyes, is breathtaking.
It’s also a reminder of what I’ve lost. Of the giant mistake I’ve made that can’t be fixed.
Emerson dismisses the meeting when no one asks any questions. I have a few of my own, but I’ll ask her in private. For starters, what did she sign me up for?
“There you are,” Ally says, pulling me inside the room as people begin to shuffle out. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you all weekend. So has Emerson. And Tyler. We were all worried. I even stopped by the apartment, but Audra said you weren’t there.”
That’s because Audra didn’t know I was home at that point. I came in after she was in bed on Friday night and didn’t emerge from my room until late Saturday afternoon.
“I told you I was taking a break this weekend.”
“I know, but I didn’t think you’d disappear.”
“I didn’t. I was around. What did I miss?”
“More than you know. Come on,” she says motioning for me to follow her. “Let’s chat.”