Chapter Sixteen
“That how you gonna handle this?”
Cuss’s head snapped up and met Blaze’s stare. His brother stood perched outside his door, leaning against the wall, feet crossed at the ankles.
He fisted his hands. “Don’t need your pity.”
“You ain’t getting any pity from me after you talk to your old lady like that.” Blaze shook his head. “Gotta say I don’t get it. You wanted her for so long, and now you’re fuckin’ it up. You doing this shit on purpose?”
“Fuck you.” Glaring, he took a step toward him. “You don’t know shit.”
“What I know is she was worried sick ‘bout you, so worried with tears in her eyes she asked me to look after you, and that was after you were a dick to her.”
His stomach knotted. He could be such an asshole. He knew this, hated this about himself. Just another reason, in the slew of reasons, he should let her go. “I was scared outta my goddamned mind. That dick was eye-fuckin’ my girl. I didn’t know what they’d do, and I was outnumbered. Didn’t even have my gun. Anything happened, it would’ve been on me.”
“None of it’s her fault, so stop being a dick to her.”
Blaze didn’t get it. Still, his brother made sense. Cuss was fucking up with her—the girl he wanted for years. Since he spotted Chained, he’d been terrified out of his mind. That fear never faded, not when she was safe, not even after he beat the living daylights out of the biker. He thought, no, swore she’d leave him. He couldn’t blame her. She was better than rival MC bullshit fights and some biker making crude remarks. She was better than dealing with any of the shit in his life, better than dealing with him.
He’d walked into his room expecting her to give him some fucked excuse as to why they couldn’t be together, and still, he hadn’t been prepared to hear it. Her insinuating she wasn’t his because they hadn’t had sex killed a piece of him, and he lost it. He screamed, said a bunch of fucked shit, and hurt her to the point she cried. That made it all the worse, her tears. A woman as pretty as her, as smart, sweet, good, and kind didn’t deserve a man who made her cry, no matter he was scared, no matter the reason.
He made a mess and did not for the life of him know how to fix it.
“Gotta say, brother, the way you’re acting, it’s hard to tell you give three fucks ‘bout her.”
Another valid point. Cuss loved her, had loved her for so long, loving her had become a part of him, of who he was.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he rubbed the palm of his hand against his chest, trying to assuage the pang of grief he felt there. He ran his other hand through his hair, took a deep breath then without another word to Blaze, he strode into his room. His gaze instantly gravitated to where she sat. On the floor on the far side of his room, her back against wall, knees to her chest. He took long strides until he reached her then sat close, directly in front of her, his legs spread and she in between.
She lifted her head, wiped the tears marring her cheeks, and met his stare. “Please take me home.”
Gut twisting making bile rise until he tasted it in the back of his throat, he shook his head. He watched those beautiful green eyes fill with tears, and then, he watched them spill and stain her face anew. The knot in his stomach spread across his chest, that ache compounding. He gripped her hips and hauled her, her knees against his chest. Eyes widening, her hands went to his shoulders, grasping.
He cupped her cheeks, staring deep into those piercing eyes. “I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m sorry I was such an asshole, but I’m not sorry enough to let you go. I didn’t lie to you. Told you I get the girl I want, I’d never let her go.”
She stared at him wide-eyed.
“Wanted you the first day I saw you. You were fourteen, Tiff. Thought I was sick craving you when you were so young. Looked out for you all this time, praying and hoping what I felt would fade.”
He shook his head. “It never did. Looked out for you for more than seven years, watching you live, date pretty college boys, and letting you, but all that time, you were my girl. Don’t matter if you didn’t know it, I knew it. So whether we’ve had sex, don’t matter. You’re still my girl. You’ve always been mine. You just didn’t know it. And it means you’ll always be my girl.”
He cocked his head to the side and swallowed. “Understand now why I can’t let you go?”
Shaking her head, she whispered, “Seven years…Almost eight—”
Eight years, before the club was even clean. “Yeah, eight long ass years.”
She pushed at his chest. He didn’t want to, but he let her go, let her put distance between them. “In LA, y-you said…you wanted to be friends.”
“Said that after I told you, you were beautiful, and you didn’t believe me. Said it ’cause I knew I needed to get you to trust me before anything happened.”
Her brows drew together. “No. A man doesn’t wait years. If he wants—”
Grabbing her arms firmly, he dragged her against him. “I’m not lying. I’ve never lied to you. I tell you everything. You gotta know on some level a man who doesn’t want a woman doesn’t hang around for seven years, Tiff. He doesn’t show up at her place all the time. He doesn’t call and text her twenty-four/seven. In case you didn’t know, a biker doesn’t put a woman on the back of his bike unless he’s claiming her.”
He paused letting the words sink in. “I know it’s been years, Tiff. Like I know all that time, I’ve wanted this. I know you’ve wanted me too in some way, but I’ve stopped it.”
Her gaze scanned his face. After a long moment, she asked, “W-why?”
Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself to admit the truth. “’Cause I’m many things, not all of them good. ’Cause I wanted the best for you, and the best for you ain’t me. ’Cause I know you deserve better.”
Her eyes welled. Tears spilled silently down her face. “I can’t believe you just said—”
Releasing her arms, he cupped her face and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. “Told you I’m many things, and one of those ain’t blind. One look at you seven years ago, I knew you were outta my league.”
Her face further paled. She swallowed. “I can’t believe it’s why—”
“Believe it, baby girl, ’cause it’s the truth. Everyone knows it. A look at you then one at me, and that’s what everyone’s thinking. You ain’t for me. You’re meant for some rich college boy who doesn’t curse, not some biker from the wrong side of the tracks.”
His hands slid from her cheeks to her shoulders. He dropped his head then shook it. “I don’t give a fuck anymore.” Lifting his head, he met her gaze. “’Cause now you know, and Tiff, I promise you, you’re gonna be mine for a long time.”
Her stare fell from his. She shook her head. “You—”
He couldn’t let her speak, couldn’t take hearing the many reasons they could never be. “I got you now. You wanna leave? I ain’t letting you ’cause I can’t let you go. I’ll tie you to the bed, and I’ll never be sorry for doing it ’cause none of your rich college boys will take care of you like I can. No one will ever feel for you the way I do. So you don’t want me? Fine. I’ve wanted you for more than seven years. That’s enough wanting for the both of us.”
She held his gaze, closed her eyes, and tilted her head up. After a long moment, she sighed then met his stare again. “Thomas… You…I just want you.”
His heart stopped beating.
Then, it started again, pounding louder and louder until it echoed in his ears. His mind telling him to act, to move, to do something, anything, but he held still, her voice, her words replaying in his mind.
She drew her gaze away, lifted her hand then softly grazed it over the side of his busted lip.
“Say. It. Again.” How he managed those words, he’d never know. Voice rough like he felt inside.
She met his eyes. “I just want you.”
She said it.
She wasn’t leaving him.
She wanted him.
His chest expanded and throbbed, flooding him with the strangest light-headed sensation.
He grabbed the back of her head and crushed her mouth to his. The impact so hard he felt his cracked lip split wider and tasted blood. Snaking his other arm around her, he lifted her slightly. Her legs straddled his waist. She then wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer. Her body molded against his, fitting perfectly.
Her heat against him and needing to feel it without barriers, he dug his fingers under her shirt. The skin on her lower back soft as silk, he trailed his hands higher, grasping the back of her head, and pulled it back so his lips could access her neck. He kissed. He licked, softly at first then more intensely. She moaned, her legs around him tightening.
“Thomas…” She dug her fingers into his scalp, tugged on his hair. Then her lips sought his. Darting her tongue into his mouth, she gave him another taste.
And it never got old. The taste of her got better and better.
She rubbed herself against him. Her heat right where he needed it. He’d wanted her for so long, the small action made his control slip.
His cock jerked. He groaned deep and loud, the sound coming from the back of his throat. He planted one arm on the floor behind him, the other still snaked around her. She wrapped around him. He stood, strode to the bed, and tossed her on it. Not a second later, he tugged off her shirt and unclasped her bra.
The prettiest tits he’d ever seen, the perfect size.
His gaze met hers. He slammed his mouth over hers and trailed his lips down her neck and chest. Her legs lugging him closer, he didn’t stop, couldn’t even if he tried.
She trembled, moaned then grabbed the hem of his shirt and tore it off him. “Thomas…”
Smiling, he yanked off her jeans and thong in one swift movement. Then he drew lower. At her core, her need for him stared him in the face. He dove in, his tongue licking, sucking every drop.
She screamed louder and moaned deeper. When her wails became more insistent, he shoved a finger inside. Her body stiffened, and she cried out his name, body shuddering, pussy squeezing him.
Gaze glued to her as she came undone, he savored her one last time then desperately tugged off his jeans and boxers, rolled on a condom, planted a hand next to her head, and hovered over her, fisting his shaft.
Face flushed, dark hair spilling around her, her hooded, glistening eyes met his, looking so beautiful, blinding.
The expression on her face made him do the last thing he wanted to do. His muscles shaking with restraint, he held still, hesitating.
As stunning as she looked, she also looked terrified like she was having second thoughts. He wanted her, never craved anything more than her, but he wouldn’t take. She had to give.
“Second thoughts?”
He couldn’t believe she asked, couldn’t believe she still didn’t get it.
“Never wanted anything more than I want you.”
Maybe it was a pussy thing to say. He still wasn’t sure how deep her feelings ran, but it was the truth. He couldn’t hide it, didn’t want to.
She hooked her arms around his shoulders, her legs around his waist then pressed her lips against his.
All the encouragement he needed.
With one swift thrust, he buried himself inside. She moaned, her back arching, lips tearing away from his, walls clenching him tight.
Nothing in his whole life ever felt that good.
Nothing, he knew, ever would.
In that moment, staring into her piercing green eyes, he knew she was worth the wait, worth seven years of craving. He also knew he’d been right. She was worth so much more than him, and because he was right about that, now he had her, he knew no way in hell he’d ever let her go.
With his heart in his throat, he whispered, “Beautiful.”
He meant her—everything she touched, everything she did, everything she was.
He meant how great it felt to be buried inside.
He meant that moment, their first time.
He meant the feeling of fulfillment filling his chest to the point he could barely breathe.
She smiled softly.
With one arm at her hip and the other wrapped around her shoulders, gripping her tightly against him, he slid out then into her again, slowly, enjoying being immersed and letting her grow accustomed to him.
He then picked up his pace. The louder she moaned and screamed the faster he went. Each thrust, her nails bit into his skin, her tits peaking and rubbing against his chest.
He watched her. The more he watched, the stronger the feeling of completeness consuming him became.
When she arched her back, he snaked his arm behind her, hefted her up, and sat back. Placing a hand at each hip, he lifted her off him then slammed her into him as hard as he could.
“Thomas…”
The way she said his name, he knew she was close.
“Ride me, baby girl.”
Her hands against his chest, she began moving against him. He helped her, watched her. She quickened her pace, hands trailing his back, fingers digging into his skin.
When he couldn’t hold his release any longer, he placed his thumb over her clit and pushed down, hard. She threw her head back, her walls tightening around him. He let go.
He came hard, harder than he’d ever come in his life. Still spilling, he tugged her to him, pressing her roughly against his chest, and kissed her deep and hard.
After several moments, he drew away to meet her gaze, tightening his arm around her waist. His heavy breaths on her face. “Beautiful, baby girl, fuckin’ beautiful.”
Gasping for breath, she smiled.
They stayed that way for a while because he couldn’t move, because he wanted to enjoy her a little longer, and because she looked so stunning he wanted to memorize that sated look on her face.
Their gazes still locked, he lifted her off him slowly then kissed the top of her head. “Be back.”
He stood, strode into his bathroom, removed his condom then flushed it. Walking out, he spotted her on his bed, her back to him.
Tiff, his girl, in his bed after she’d given herself to him.
He had it all, now, everything he ever wanted.
Climbing into bed, he lay on his side, flipped her to face him then hauled her close, her front against his.
He slid his hand up her cheek then threaded his fingers through her hair. “Worth the wait.”
Her hand against his chest, she swirled her finger, drawing circles.
He looked down at her finger and grinned.
Her smile widened. “Yeah.”
“Want nothing between us. You on the pill?”
Her gaze snapped to his. “Yes.”
“I’m clean. Got tested after LA.”
Eyes widening, she bit the side of her lip. “That was months ago—”
“Haven’t been with anyone since before LA.”
She paused, looked away before meeting his stare again. That look, the one she’d given him so many times before, shone from her eyes. “Why?”
“’Cause I wanted you, and I knew no matter who I was with I’d see your face. There was no point.”
Her gaze softened. “I’m clean, too. I was tested after…Mark. He was my first…and last.”
His chest burned deep, a searing that expanded and throbbed, scorching his insides apart. Jealous. He’d felt it before, so many times, always because of her. Though honest, he had no right to feel it, had no right to wish it’d been him. Still, he felt it all, knowing had he tried, it could’ve been him. He could’ve been her first. Maybe if he was lucky, he’d be her last.
“Now that you’ve had me, do you still want me?”
The question drew him away from his thoughts. A part of him couldn’t believe she asked. Then again, another part of him wasn’t surprised. She disregarded things he said. Normally, it would aggravate the fuck out of him, but he just had the best sex of his life with his girl, the girl he wanted for a long time, and she was naked, cuddled close, drawing circles on his chest, in bed with him.
“Yeah, baby girl. I still want you.”
She then smiled that blinding smile that made everything fade around her, except her face.