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We’re in the same hotel where Chris and I came for his book tour. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel coming back here at first because some of the memories are bittersweet, but it feels right now that I’m here. Besides, it means Amelia and Brooke got to travel outside the country for the first time in their lives. We were even able to bring my dad with us, who now has complete freedom to travel and move around because Chris is covering all his bills. I tried to tell Chris I didn’t want him to feel like he had to fix all my problems with his money, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and bit by bit, he has been quietly taking away all my financial burdens. As much as I appreciate it, I still make a point of striving to grow my blog and readership so I never become lazy and take his help for granted. Besides, whether the money is good or not, my blog has always been a labor of love, and I’m never going to stop working on it.

I wasn't sure how bringing a three-month-old on such a long flight would go, but we used Chris' private plane, so it wasn't difficult to breastfeed and walk around with Barrett, who we call Bear for short. Chris wanted to make his legal name Bear, which I thought was cute, but a little too much. We eventually compromised on Barrett, so if he when he's applying for jobs someday, he has something a little more professional to put on his resume.

Lindsey and Amelia each have rooms across the hall from us, which is great because they both love watching Bear, so Chris and I have been able to have some fun nights out while my sisters babysit. I still don’t like to be gone from him for more than a couple hours though. I tell my sisters it’s because I don’t want him to get used to bottle feeding, but it’s really just because I worry something will go wrong and he’ll need his mommy.

It’s amazing how quickly the maternal instinct kicks in. Before the pregnancy, I didn’t even dare to think about having kids. I felt like I was so far from being in a position where it’d make sense to have a baby. Even with Ryan, I never really thought about it, except to feel a little bit of dread at the idea of having a kid with him. Somehow that didn’t tip me off that marriage was a bad idea.

Now, Bear is only three months old, and there’s already nothing I wouldn’t do to keep my little guy safe and happy. He has Chris’ brown eyes, and it’s hard to place exactly who he looks like more. Sometimes I think he has my eyebrows and a similar shaped mouth, but when he’s cooing and making faces at us, all of his expressions remind me so much of Chris it is uncanny.

Chris is leaning back in a chair in our room, dozing with Bear sleeping on his chest. It’s an overcast day, but ever since my reunion with Chris in the rain, I always seem to be in an unusually good mood when it rains. I lean back on our bed, watching my boys nap together with a swelling in my heart that I’m still not used to.

Chris' book has been an international bestseller for months now, but he's not living the rock star author life anymore. He's just my rockstar, my personal celebrity that I get to keep all to myself. His calmer lifestyle has actually made him a much more boring target for the paparazzi too. There is still the occasional photographer trying to sneak a picture or fans who recognize him and want a selfie, but I've noticed the number dwindling week by week, except for when we first had Bear.

We’ve actually been living in Chris’ cabin together. It’s small and he’s constantly trying to fix things around the house that are broken or need a little attention, but it already feels like home to me. It’s also so close to my sisters that I don’t feel like I left them behind, and we’re still within driving distance when we want to visit my dad, but with Chris’ help, my dad is actually able to visit us now. The new freedom to move around has brought back some of his old self. I think after feeling confined for so long, just being able to get out and move around gave him some of his old confidence back.

Chris even paid for Amelia’s beauty school, which she is loving every minute of. He’s also loaning Brooke the money to start her own restaurant, even though he offered to just give her the money, she was too proud to take anything but a loan.

In some ways it’s almost sad. Our poverty held me together with my sisters, so it never felt strange that we all still lived together. Now, with Chris’ help, I can feel us moving off in our own directions. It’s for the best though, and I know we’ll all still stay close, no matter where their careers take them.

I hold my engagement ring up to the light and watch the diamonds sparkle. Chris’ proposal wasn’t some grand, elaborate gesture. It was spontaneous, like the need to propose just hit him and he couldn’t wait to ask me. In so many ways, that was sweeter than any orchestrated proposal would’ve ever seemed.

We were at a park, just watching the river and letting the beauty of everything around us soak in. He had said something that made me laugh, I don’t remember what, and then he looked at me with this sudden intensity. The next thing I knew, he was on one knee. He didn’t even have a ring yet, he just said he knew at that moment and he couldn’t wait a second to ask.

I sigh and smile at the memory, sinking back into the bed and wondering what I did to deserve all this. I can barely contain my excitement when I think about our wedding, which is tomorrow. Chris found a lighthouse in Germany that looked absolutely stunning from the pictures. He came out and saw it in person to make sure it was perfect, but said I have to wait until the wedding day to see it. After Ryan and Claire got married at the lighthouse I always thought I wanted to get married in front of, the place lost its appeal, so when Chris suggested finding our own lighthouse, I immediately agreed.

We still have some healing to do after the rift of the way things almost ended in Germany, but I know we’ll make it. I know this time, nothing will come between us.