Derrick spent the next few days preparing for the party with Misha. It was a welcome distraction from the yearning looks that Ethan cast his way whenever they passed one another. Ethan didn’t try to press him further for contact, and they maintained minimal conversation as they geared up for the party. He hoped beyond hope that this would finally be it, that they would finally catch the guy. Then maybe he and Ethan could work on patching things up.

Misha had been a godsend. She had this intuition that homed in on whenever he was retreating within himself and closing himself off, and she refused to allow him to do so when she was around. She would engage him on his opinions about the party or ask him things about the clinic. They spoke a lot about the animals. She was particularly enamored with Sunshine, whom Derrick had begun bringing with him everywhere.

He did stop in that week to check on the clinic. His staff was running things smoothly, and he had only lost two patients, whom he had referred to other vets because he was too distracted to perform their surgeries. He told the staff he was taking his leave early, even though he and Ethan weren’t set to start their three-week vacation until next week, so they could get married then enjoy a nice long honeymoon in the Maldives.

Derrick wasn’t even sure they would have a honeymoon to look forward to, the way they had become estranged over the last few days. He hated living his nights and days in terror, wondering if the SSK was after them. He also wondered why the assailant hadn’t struck again, breaking more windows or going after his clinic. He voiced this concern to Detective Knott, who occasionally stopped by and went over the plan with them.

“Why hasn’t he come after us again? Is it because he filled his quota for the week attacking Captain Ferguson?”

The detective looked completely shocked for a moment but seemed to catch up.

“Misha told me you thought your harasser might be the SSK. I am almost positive it isn’t. I believe, because of the nature of the attacks, it is someone here in the neighborhood. And it also isn’t the SSK’s—”

“MO. Yeah, I got that the last ten times everyone told me.” He didn’t know why he was being snippy with the detective. He just needed to vent to someone, and Ethan had been walking on eggshells all week so as not to piss him off. He had also taken to sleeping in the guest room again, or so Derrick assumed. Sunshine was getting quite comfortable on Ethan’s side of the bed. If they ever made up, Ethan was going to have a hard time reclaiming his territory.

The detective’s eyes narrowed as he looked between him and Ethan. “Then I trust you remember what I said last time. About sticking together as well?”

“Yes, but it still doesn’t answer my question,” Derrick pressed back. He knew he was walking a fine line between appropriate behavior and rudeness. Taking his anger and frustration out on the guy who was trying to help them probably wasn’t in the best interest of their case, but Derrick was so sick of being the weak link, the one in the dark because everyone thought he was breakable. For that matter, he was tired of being breakable. He had been bullied and harassed his entire life, and he felt like now it was time for someone to answer for all of that. Even if it was the SSK.

“There are certain clues in that case that lead me and the SFPD to believe that the SSK is after the Captain and myself. It was ten years ago, but we injured him, and he takes personal affront to that. Could he lash out at those around us? Sure. Does that include you because I am trying to help you? Possibly. But at this time, the evidence leads us to believe he is specifically targeting the two of us. Now, if you have an issue with the way I am conducting the investigation into your case, by all means, please say so. Please keep in mind, I have been profiling and going after criminals for almost twenty-five years now, so I would like to think I have some insight as to their behavior and victims,” he said.

“I’m not a victim. I’m a survivor,” Derrick ground out. Sunshine yipped in his arms, and the detective smiled. It was brief, and Derrick almost missed it.

“Good. Then you have one up on the tormentor who is coming after you. But a suggestion?”

“What?” Derrick replied evenly.

“Don’t push away the people who are helping you, including me. I plan to bust my ass to get your man, but you hired me, remember?”

Derrick gave a curt nod of his head. He felt marginally better after airing his grievances. And the detective had finally given him a reasonable explanation as to why it was probably not the SSK. It didn’t make him feel much better about his own situation, but what did was that the man had recognized he was trying to stand up for himself and had respected it. He had also shown Derrick he wasn’t afraid of standing up for himself, either, and that somehow forged a mutual bond of respect.

Ethan had remained quiet through the whole meeting, and it was driving Derrick insane. He wanted to shout, yell, cry, anything to get Ethan to respond, because his stalwart fortitude was beginning to wear even on Derrick. He knew Ethan was the type to bottle things up.

Derrick had been a nervous mess all day, since it was the day before the party. In addition to planning the bachelor bash, he still had questions from vendors, the pastor at the church, and family pouring in regarding the impending nuptials next week. He had pleaded with his family to stay away from the party, but they weren’t having it. Neither were his friends. They had insisted on coming, and Detective Knott had told him that was for the best, because it would make the party seem genuine. In a way, it was. They had spared no expense on the food, decorations, booze, and music. It was all under the guise that Detective Knott was their eccentric uncle. He had taken to showing up around the house in odd clothing that seemed off-putting to Mr. Waldon, who openly stared at him every time he parked his truck on the side of the road. He had told them he was doing it for effect, to really piss off whoever was harassing them, so they went along with it.

That night, after everyone had left and he and Ethan were alone, they were having a quiet dinner and barely speaking to each other except the occasional, “Please pass the salt,” and, “The weather was nice today,” conversation. Derrick wanted to cry. When Ethan commented on how the streamers above the pool looked nice for about the tenth time, Derrick threw his napkin down and stood up, upsetting Sunshine, who ran and hid in her basket.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough! Say something!” he shrieked at Ethan. Ethan looked momentarily startled as he glanced up and across the table at him.

“What do you want me to say?” he asked. His tone was even, too even. He had completely closed Derrick off from his emotions. Was this how it was going to be in their marriage? Whenever he felt too pressured, he closed himself off and shut down?

“Anything. Say anything besides the weather or the salt. Hell, tell me about your accounting books and crazy clients you know I don’t understand. But stop just sitting there, pretending like you’re here, when God knows how far away you are in your head. Just say something!” he hollered. He knew he was being completely irrational. He had expected himself to break long before he did, but he was at his wit’s end. What he didn’t expect was seeing a flash of anger in Ethan’s eyes. He stood at his end of the table, glaring back at Derrick.

“Like what? Anytime I have something to say, you take it personally and weaponize it against me. I tried to reassure you everything would somehow be okay, but you used it to give me another ultimatum. I feel like I can’t say anything around you for fear you will tell me that’s it. You’re done. You aren’t doing this anymore. Do you have any idea how much that hurts, Derrick? I’ve been trying to make things right. I want what’s best for us, but you keep pushing me away! So, I finally did what you told me to. I closed myself off because it was you who said you needed a break! Remember? Not me!” He finished shouting and was breathing hard.

Derrick had frozen next to his seat. Something broke inside him, and he found himself shouting back. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for us!” he hollered. “All you want is this stupid house, in this stupid neighborhood, and you’ve dug your heels in and won’t budge, because that’s what you do. You come in, take control, and if it doesn’t go your way, you go bullheaded and stubborn until you get what you want. We’re supposed to decide what we want together!”

“As opposed to what? Not getting my way and running away? That’s your gig, Derrick, not mine!” Ethan yelled back.

They both stood there, panting and red-faced with anger. After a moment, sure he and Ethan had aired all their grievances, Derrick jerked and turned away from him, marching down the hall to their bedroom. How they were going to work through this in order to present a loving, happy couple to the masses at the party tomorrow was beyond him. All he knew was he wanted to be as far away from Ethan as possible for a while. So what if he did take a few steps back and assess a situation? At least he wasn’t like a bull in a china shop, tearing through things in his way, like Ethan was.

Derrick ripped open the closet door in their bedroom and heard it bang against the wall behind him. He wondered if the handle marred the sheet rock and perfection of Ethan’s flawless house. He knew he was being childish when he thought, Good, I hope it did. He had never felt the urge to be destructive before, but he felt like they had been on the fast track to an implosion for a while now, and what if he was the one to speed up that train wreck?

Derrick ripped a bag down from a hanger in the closet and then dumped some clothes into it from his dresser. He grabbed his tooth brush and Sunshine’s leash from the hall closet and didn’t look at Ethan as he hooked her and walked towards the front door. He didn’t know how, if ever, they could work through this, but he knew he couldn’t be in the same house as Ethan tonight.

“So, that’s it, then? You’re just going to call it. You get to decide without asking me?” Ethan croaked. Derrick heard the tears in his voice and he knew if he turned around now, he would cave and not walk out the door.

“I’ll be at the hotel down the road. The one next to the trolley station. I’m going for tonight. I can’t be here,” he said. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping for., that Ethan would come after him or that he would leave him alone for the night. Either way, he knew he couldn’t be here tonight. He heard a broken sob when he opened the door and closed it behind him, and it ripped his heart out as he forced himself to walk to his car, get in, and drive away.