I brushed the snow off the top of the tombstone before setting down the calla lilies I’d brought with me. It was odd, I knew, that I’d never even seen my mother’s grave, but I’d been to Adare’s more than once. In a way, I almost felt like I could talk to both my mother and Adare here, that Mom would understand why I hadn’t been to visit her in Indiana. I supposed that was why I’d brought her favorite flowers today.

“I’ll bet the two of you and Anton are up there yelling at me all the time when I do crazy things.”

I was the only one here this morning, but I kept my voice quiet, not wanting to disturb the tranquility I’d found. It’d started to snow during the short walk from my car to the gravesite, fat, wet flakes that clung to my clothes and eyelashes and muffled sound. I was reminded of the cemetery scene from Phantom of the Opera, the movie with Emmy Rossum and Gerard Butler, not the stage production, and a chill went down my spine.

“Things have been crazy, Adare,” I said, running my fingertips along the edge of the smooth granite. I could feel the cold stone through my glove and pulled my hand back. “I used to think that after what happened when I was a kid, things couldn’t get any rougher, but then Anton died. That, I thought, was enough. Now, I’ve been dealing with human traffickers and kidnappings and finding a child who’d been sold on the black market and being kidnapped myself and the man I love possibly having a baby with the wife who won’t divorce him…”

I let my voice trail off as I rambled, my tone rising with each word. All I’d ever wanted was a normal life, or at least as normal a life as an FBI agent could have. The idea of working cases and traveling hadn’t been anything I’d considered out of the ordinary. Moving around after I’d gotten kicked out had been different. I’d been restless, unsettled. Then I’d come to Fort Collins and thought I could have a simple life working with Adare. I’d never imagined I’d get caught up in so much chaos here.

Movement behind me made me turn around, my hand automatically going to the coat pocket where I’d put my pepper spray. Fortunately for me, Colorado considered it a defensive item rather than a weapon, which meant it was legal for me to carry. I owned a handgun since my training with the FBI had made me proficient with its use, but I hadn’t yet applied for a conceal carry permit and bringing a gun to a cemetery just seemed in bad taste. For a moment, however, as I scanned the area around me for potential threats, I wondered if I’d made the right choice.

“It’s just me.”

I breathed a sigh of relief as the dark figure heading toward me spoke. “Clay, what are you doing here?”

As he got closer, I saw that he’d bundled himself up well enough that if he hadn’t said something, I still wouldn’t have been able to recognize him. He waited until he was right in front of me before answering my question.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “And you couldn’t just call? Or come by my place?”

He shrugged. “Things between you and me are okay, but I didn’t know how Jalen would react to seeing me. I imagine he’s been pretty pissed at me.”

“Honestly,” I said, “he hasn’t mentioned it.”

I didn’t add that Clay was probably the last person on Jalen’s mind right now. Time would eventually smooth things over, and if it didn’t, I’d take matters into my own hands. I wasn’t going to have the two of them at odds with each other for the rest of our lives.

“Anyway, that’s why I came here, where I knew you’d be alone and the chances of Jalen showing up were slim.”

My eyes narrowed. “How did you know I was alone? For that matter, how did you know I was here?”

He shifted, as if the question made him uncomfortable. “I’ve had someone keeping an eye on you since you got out of the hospital. Between your father and Serge, I refused to risk something happening to you again.”

That explained why I’d been feeling like someone was watching me. While I was glad it wasn’t someone who meant me harm, the idea that Clay had been keeping tabs on me didn’t exactly sit well. I wasn’t going to argue with him about it here though. I was already getting cold.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked, rubbing my hands over my upper arms, the friction warming me.

“I wanted to let you know that we arrested two more people involved in the trafficking ring that kidnapped you. They were buyers who had half a dozen people each when we busted them. We think they’ll be able to give us some names, and maybe even an idea of where Serge might be.”

“You still haven’t found him?” I applauded myself for keeping my voice even.

Clay shook his head. “We’re turning over every rock we can find, but you know how it is with snakes. They can crawl into places we can’t always see.”

“Nice analogy,” I said dryly.

“Thanks.” He stomped his feet. “Can I walk you back to your car, or do you want some more time here?”

“I’m good,” I said and looked back at the flowers. “I think Adare would understand that it’s cold.”

He fell in step next to me, not saying anything until we’d gone a few yards. “We haven’t been able to find a trace of your father either.”

Right. I didn’t only have my kidnapper on the loose, but him too.

“Can you think of anywhere he might’ve gone?”

I shot Clay a surprised look. “It’s not like we exchange Christmas cards.”

He held up a hand. “I just meant that you might know of somewhere special to your family, somewhere a basic history wouldn’t know.”

I thought for a minute even though I already knew the answer. I shook my head. “Nowhere. The trips we took weren’t particularly nostalgic, at least the ones I can remember. After his accident, he didn’t have anywhere special he liked to go. In fact, he preferred to stay inside.” I shrugged. “I guess that’s something. He’d want to go somewhere he felt safe. Where that is, though, I don’t know.”

“Thank you,” Clay said as he opened my driver’s side door. “I’ll stay in touch to let you know how things are going.”

“Thanks,” I said but paused before getting into the car. “Don’t be a stranger, all right? I know things are weird right now, but I value your friendship.”

I sensed his smile more than saw it.

“I value yours too. Don’t worry, Rona, you’re not going to lose me.”

I sat in the car for a few minutes, letting it warm up as I watched Clay drive away. I really hoped he meant it. I wasn’t sure I could handle losing someone else right now.