Chapter Eleven
Rose
Paula had hardly moved all day. As soon as I got home, I made sure to feed her and do whatever I could to make her comfortable and take care of her. I felt guilty for not being there for her all night, for not making sure she'd eaten earlier. She was still in her pajamas, on the couch where I'd left her when I headed out to work that morning, and she hadn't moved an inch. Not even to use the bathroom.
“Here you go,” I said, putting a bowl of soup down in front of her.
My heart ached as she stared back at me with dead, vacant eyes. I hadn't been there with her but for a few weeks and already, I could see that she was taking a turn for the worse. I thought we had more time to spend together, but it was becoming obviously and painfully clear that we didn't. The doctors had ceased chemo, said it was no longer working. They'd encouraged us to let my aunt live out the rest of her life out in peace, however long that might be. And to spend whatever time with her that I could, enjoying her last days with her.
I lifted the spoon to her lips and fed her, trying not to cry.
“You don't have to do that, Nancy,” she said.
Nancy was my mother's name. Her sister.
“I'm not Nancy, I'm Rose.” I said, my voice soft and on the verge of breaking.
“Damn, where is my head at? Of course, you're Rose,” she said. “My lovely niece, Rose.”
“Yes, aunt Paula,” I said, feeding her another bite.
“I love you, Rose,” she said, taking my free hand in hers. “I'm so glad you came to stay with me.”
“Me too, Paula,” I said. “I'm very happy to be here. I love spending time with you. I always have.”
“Even when I don't have the strength to feed myself?”
“Especially then,” I said. “You took care of me for how long? Every time my father went on a bender, who was there for me? You were. And now it's my turn to repay the kindness you never failed to show me.”
She looked so grateful, yet sad at the same time. I couldn't imagine how it must feel to grow weaker by the day. To know that the end of your days was coming – sooner, rather than later. I finished feeding her, cleaned her up and helped her to bed. She gingerly climbed beneath the covers and then fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Pain meds are a wonderful thing for those who need them. And Paula very clearly needed them.
I turned out the light and wiped the tears from my eyes as I went downstairs and cleaned up the dishes from her dinner. I reflected on everything that had happened that night and felt a surge of dark anger welling up within me. I couldn't believe that Asher had lied to me. Or at least, hadn't told me the truth. He was engaged. How could he do that to me? To his fiancé?
I tried to push it all out of my head. That was what I got for opening up and trusting somebody. I had nobody to blame but myself. Even knowing that though, didn't take the sting out of it. Nor did it do anything to quell the anger inside of me. Finished with the clean up, I turned out the lights and started for the stairs. It had been a long day and I was tired. I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and wake up, the whole damn day having been nothing more than a bad dream.
Just as I was getting ready to head to bed though, there was a soft knock at the door.
Considering how late it was, I looked for the nearest weapon. Just in case. I grabbed a baseball bat from behind the coatrack and walked toward the door, glancing out the window before daring to open it up. And when I saw who it was, I felt my heart sink – while simultaneously feeling the rising tide of rage within me.
It was Asher.
I dropped the bat beside the door – but only because I didn't trust myself with it when I opened it to him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, arms crossed in front of me defensively. “Don't you have a fiancé to apologize to?”
“Listen, Rose, I came to apologize,” he said. “And to tell you it's not what you think –”
“Isn't that what they all say?” I seethed. “I thought you were smarter than that, Asher. Or at least, more creative. You sure figured out how to weasel your way into my pants. I have to give you credit for that. But seriously, at least come up with an original excuse for cheating on your fiancé.”
I could feel my voice rising, so I stepped outside and closed the door behind us.
“No, I swear to you, it's not just an excuse. There's more going on than you understand. A lot more,” he said with a deep sigh. “Come with me, please? We need to talk.”
“Last time I did that, I was party to an affair,” I spat. “So, you'll understand when I say, no thanks.”
“Fine, I'll do it here then. It doesn't matter,” he said. “There's something you need to know about me. Then I can explain the rest. But until you know my secret, none of it's going to make any sense whatsoever.”
I rolled my eyes, not having any idea what he was talking about. It just sounded like another excuse from a man who'd gotten busted cheating. I was just about to tell him to beat it, that we were done, when Asher started removing his shirt. I stared at him with eyes that were wide with shock. The freaking gall of this man.
“What the hell, Asher?” I hissed. “You think stripping down is going to change my mind? You really are that into yourself, aren't you?”
“No, I just don't want my clothing to get torn, that's all,” he said.
“Oh, because of your big muscles?” I rolled my eyes again. “Seriously, showing up here and thinking you can charm your way back into my pants by showing off your body is really weak. And really presumptuous. I liked you for more than just your body – showing it off now isn't helping your case. Give me a little more credit than that.”
He said nothing, but dropped his pants before I could go on. He stood before me, completely naked and as much as it pained me to admit, looking sexy as hell. I might have drooled a little at his tan, toned, and firm body. We'd had sex with his shirt on, so I'd missed out on that glorious chest that was as chiseled as the rest of him and in black ink. Tattooed symbols of some sort.
It was a Herculean effort, but I tore my eyes away from his body and stared him in the eye. But before I could demand an explanation for him stripping down on my aunt's porch and demand to know what he wanted, Asher let out a low growl that grew louder by the second. His head lowered to his chest and his entire body began to shift before my eyes. The stubble on his face and chest grew longer and thicker, and with a sharp cry of pain, his bones literally shifted beneath his skin. He fell down onto all fours and was growing larger and hairier by the second.
I backed up against the door, my heart beating so hard, I was afraid Paula, in her narcotic-induced sleep, would hear it.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered under my breath. “What the fu –”
He looked up at me, and those were his eyes alright. His beautiful, chocolate brown eyes. But they were staring back at me from the face a bear. A real live bear.
“When I was a kid and spent time here, I'd heard rumors, stories about men around these parts who could – but I never –” I stammered, my voice barely more than a whisper.
This is why my aunt told me to stay away from them. It made sense, or at least made a little more sense. But my eyes still couldn't believe what I was seeing before me. I'd always written those rumors and stories off as nothing more than small town legend. Every small town in the country had its share of ghost stories and legends of some paranormal creature running around. In that way, Black Salmon Falls had been no different.
Or at least, I assumed it was no different. Everything I knew, or thought I knew, had been turned on its head. I stared at the creature before me, terrified and yet – not. I didn't get the sense that I was in danger with Asher as a bear anymore than I had when he was – human. But still. It was a bear standing in front of me. I had no way of knowing if there was any of Asher's humanity even in it.
Asher the bear, walked up to me, and at first, I considered running. But I knew that I wouldn't get very far even if I had taken off at a sprint. But then Asher rubbed his face against my hand much like a dog would. Without even realizing what I was doing, I stroked his soft fur, letting my hands get tangled in it. He was so soft, so strong, so powerful.
And he wasn't human.
~ooo000ooo~
“Do you see now? Do you understand?” he said after shifting back into his human form and putting his clothes back on. “Why I couldn't tell you everything?”
I was still in shock, but managed to pull myself together well enough to respond – though, that wasn't saying much. There were still ten million thoughts and emotions swirling through my head and I wasn't having much luck putting any of them in any sort of order that made sense.
Asher told me a lot. Filled in a lot of the story that the rumors and legends never touched on. He told me all about the clans, touched on the behind the scenes politics – there was apparently, an entire bear culture that we were ignorant to. Listening to him speak, a lot of what happened, a lot of things about him, started to make sense. It was like a missing puzzle piece – one I wasn't even aware was missing – fell into place and helped make sense of the bigger picture.
“As impressive as all that is – the whole bear thing – it still doesn't explain Mariana,” I said. “You lied to me. You told me you were single.”
“No, I told you I wasn't married,” he countered. “And I'm not.”
“That's really splitting hairs, Asher. You're engaged to be married,” I said. “You cheated on her. With me. Do you know how dirty that makes me feel? You used me for sex –”
“No, I didn't use you –”
“Please. You're going to be married. It's not like anything between you and I can go anywhere,” I said. “And here I thought you were different.”
“I didn't use you, Rose,” he said, and the look on his face was one of sincerity. “Yes, I'm technically engaged to Mariana, but it's not like I love her. This is a – business arrangement. Clan business. I'm betrothed to her, so we are getting married. But it's most definitely not by choice. I agreed to marry Mariana for the good of my clan. But everything's changed and –”
“Let me guess, you're going to leave her for me?” I said, my laughter bitter. “Yeah, haven't heard that one before.”
“No, I've changed my mind entirely,” he said. “I'm not going to marry her. Screw clan politics. Screw it all. I'm tired of all the games and crap. I want nothing to do with any of it anymore.”
“Can you do that?” I asked. “Can you just up and leave? Is that even allowed?”
“Not really,” he said with a smirk. “But they can't stop me if they don't know I'm leaving, can they?”
I knew nothing about the clans, nothing about this whole bear world. I didn't believe that they actually existed anywhere but in people's fevered imaginations until moments ago.
“Rose, if I leave, I want you to come with me,” he said, licking his lips.
I was taken by surprise, but as I stared into his eyes, something inside of me whispered that I wanted it too. It surprised me simply because I wasn't the type who threw themselves into things like that without thinking and considering everything first. I was careful. Methodical. I didn't just plunge headlong into something without giving it careful consideration first.
I liked Asher. I liked him a lot. More than I would have ever thought possible. I'd so carefully packed up my heart after everything with Jason went sideways and stored it away, I didn't think anybody would ever be able to reach it. I honestly didn't know if I wanted anybody to. But Asher did. Somehow, he got in and found that box. Not only found it, but had somehow managed to unpack my heart. As much as I tried to deny it, tried to fight the feelings he inspired in me, I just couldn't.
But as I thought about it, entertained the notion of running away with Asher, reality set back in and threw water all over those fires. There was no way I could run off with him.
“Asher, I can't,” I said. “My aunt –”
“She can come too,” he said.
“She's not healthy enough for that, Asher. She's dying,” I said, my voice low. “And I can't leave her. She needs me.”
He nodded, sadness etched upon his features. “I understand.”
“If it wasn't for that –”
I couldn't believe I was temped to do it – but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. The idea of running away with Asher, leaving everything behind and starting over again, was tempting. We had a connection. A real connection that felt deep and abiding. And even though he didn't tell me about Mariana or his betrothal, I could see where there were some blurred lines there. Being forced to marry someone you're not in love with was sad. It was no way to live your life.
“What if I said I could help with that?” he asked.
“Help me with that?” I asked, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Don't freak out on me, listen, okay?” he said, and when I nodded, he continued. “Being what I am comes with certain advantages. Certain abilities. For instance, we tend to heal very quickly. We have a longer life span than most and are close to being immortal. Not completely, but it takes a lot to kill us. And we live for an unnaturally long time.”
“I have no idea what any of that has to do with my aunt,” I said. “Or helping me with her situation.”
“What I'm saying is – I can heal your aunt, Rose,” he said. “If you let me. My blood can heal her.”
I took a step back, feeling repulsed by the suggestion. “You want her to drink your blood?” I asked. “Eww.”
He shrugged. “Better than dying, right?”
“Maybe, but I need to think about this first –” I said. “I have to talk to Paula. Make sure this is what she wants. I can't do anything without her consent. I won't.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “But if she does agree to it, you'll come with me, Rose? We can run away together?”
My heart thundered within my chest. I was excited by the idea of running away with Asher. Of starting a life with him. I could see the long-term potential with Asher. He got me in ways nobody else ever had and I wanted to run away with him. Be with him. I found myself wanting to take a chance on him. And on us – something that was shocking to me, because only a few weeks back, I would have shot down any idea of trusting somebody like that again.
“Yes,” I said quietly. “Yes, I will. I want to be with you, Asher. And if this lets us be together –”
Before I could say another word, he pulled me to him and kissed me. He literally took my breath away with his kiss, pressing me against the front door with his body. I held his face in my hands and I kissed him back. It was a kiss unlike any other I'd had in my life. It was one filled with fire and passion – but also one filled with promise and hope.
“Let's go inside,” I said, reaching behind me for the door knob.
I didn't want to risk anyone walking up on us again – not like last time. There weren't many people out at that time of night, but I still wasn't willing to take the chance. We entered the cabin and quietly made our way up to my room. We stepped quietly and did our best to be silent even though the painkillers my aunt had taken – along with her own physical exhaustion – had probably knocked out for the night. Even still, I wasn't going to take any chances. The last thing I wanted was for her to walk in on us in the middle of things.
As soon as I opened my bedroom door, however, I cringed. I'd forgotten to buy a larger bed and the unicorn bedspread was still on my small, twin sized bed. Not only did it look like a kid's room, there was absolutely not enough room for the two of us in that bed. We'd obviously have to improvise.
He laughed, then tried to cover it up.
“Sorry, haven't had a chance to redecorate since I moved in,” I said sheepishly.
“No, I like it,” he said, picking up a teddy bear I had sitting on the book shelf. He stared at it for a moment with a smile.
“Cute,” I said, coming up beside him. “But not as cute as the real thing.”
Asher turned to me and kissed me again, this time pushing me toward the bed – which was going to be way too small for the both of us. It would be too small for him on his own. He was just way too tall and too big for a twin-sized bed.
But Asher knew exactly how to make it work. He sat down on the bed and pulled me into his lap so I was straddling him. I stared into his brown eyes as I felt him growing hard against me. I felt the fire inside of me burning again and even though we'd been together just a little while before, my body was already aching for him again.
“Never, in all the years I stayed here, did I think I'd be having sex in this room,” I said with a laugh.
Kissing my neck, he slipped my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor. This time, I wasn't about to let him remain clothed, so I worked the buttons of his shirt and let it fall to the bed. His chest bare, I ran my hands over the tattoos, curious as to what the black symbols meant. But I didn't have time to ask. That could always come later.
We quickly lost our pants and I straddled him once more, lowering my body down and taking him inside of me again. I was still a little sore from earlier, but as soon as he slid himself inside of me, the rush of pleasure quickly overwhelmed the soreness. And as he filled me up, I stared into his beautiful brown eyes, luxuriating in the sensation of us being together once more.
I rocked back and forth on top of him, riding him and kissing him and savoring everything about this man. And I could tell that he was savoring me every bit as much. He moved slowly, took his time to kiss me, to tease me, in a way no man has ever done before. He drove me crazy, the fire inside of me burning hot and bright. I was so wet for Asher and the feeling of him filling me up was driving me to the brink of orgasm.
As we made love and I stared into his eyes, I realized, I was falling for this man. I was falling hard and fast. And while it scared me – terrified me, actually – I knew that I wanted to take a chance with him.
I wrapped my legs around his body and kissed him again -- mainly to silence the moans escaping my throat. I was close, so very close, and while my aunt was likely out for the night and wouldn't hear us even if we were screaming at the top of our lungs, I didn't want to make too much noise. Just in case.
But God, it was hard.
“Asher,” I muttered against his lips as I lost all control. “Oh God... Yes... Yes.”
I shuddered as I ground down onto him at the same time he thrust upward, driving himself so deep inside of me. My entire body convulsed with a powerful, intense orgasm, and I dug my nails into the flesh of his shoulders. Asher held me tight to him, and kept me moving to the rhythm that brought me the most pleasure.
He moaned softly, murmuring my name as he kissed me. I kept riding him, quickening my pace as I felt his body tensing beneath me. I knew he was close. I tightened myself as much as I could and he gasped. A moment later, I felt him pulsate inside of me, and then he groaned, mumbling my name as he buried himself deep inside me one last time. He burst inside of me, his warm, wet seed filling me up. And as he came, he held me still and close, the expression on his face one of pure and utter bliss and contentment.
He fell backward on the bed, his feet still on the floor, and I fell with him. My head was resting on his chest and I heard his heartbeat. We were both breathing heavy and drenched in sweat, but God, that was amazing.
For the first time in my life, I was truly happy and excited about the possibilities that lay in front of me.