CHAPTER THREE
Aiden arrived on the dot, every single week for the next few months. We never discussed the fundraiser. It never came up in sessions, even if it should have, and I never dared to think about it on my own.
Except that was a lie. I thought about it constantly. Mostly at night, always after I’d gone out with friends and had a glass of wine or at the end of the night where a date had ended and hadn’t got me off anywhere near as well as Aiden had, in a room of people who had no idea.
Each time, we discussed various elements of his life and I forced him to look at his ability to make real connections and to deal with the loss of Anne. He liked control and was good at it, but he had to let go of what he couldn’t control, and that was Anne’s death. At the beginning, it was rough for no other reason than he was stubborn. He wanted to work on his depression and changing his need to rewrite history—an impossible task.
Months passed and his passion for rewriting history changed to revisiting it and seeing it another way. Slowly, I watched him conquer something which had brought him to the ground. I couldn’t say how he was doing it, exactly, because he didn’t always listen to me or do as I asked, even though he was working hard on himself. But he was letting go and forgiving himself. The burden was lessening. He was the guy who the magazine covers said he was, and he didn’t resent that guy so much … if at all, any more.
He seemed happier and healthier, and I could tell that while this man had experienced a ton of hardship, he could carry all of their weights, plus the enormous responsibility of his life and work.
It was time for our sessions to end.
That killed me because I didn’t want to lose him. It wasn’t that he was a great client or that he was hot and gave me the greatest fantasies to dream over. But I respected him. I liked who he was… a lot. I hated to even admit it, but I also began to realize I was falling head over heels for the man.
I’d never really understood love despite years of training. I could articulate it, spot it—whether it was real or fake, how it hurt people and when to run. But who and how it happened to, when and why it was unrequited, that part was always lost on me.
No matter. I gave my standard spiel. Aiden knew we were coming to an end. I’d been working us up to this point, and today was the day I would tell him it would be our last session. We both knew I’d say it and the words had finally fallen off my tongue. It hurt. Literally. My insides ached. I had already cleared my schedule for the day, and was going to go home and sulk.
“Thanks for listening to me,” he said. “For everything. You have no idea.”
“It’s my job.” I hated this part normally, but now I had to pretend I wasn’t deluded enough to want to cry. All therapists saw therapists to help deal with what they heard and took on, and I was going to need a heavy duty session very soon.
There was an awkward silence, and then, he looked at the ceiling, the same way he had during our first session and a worry I hadn’t expected crept up.
“Aiden? What’s wrong?”
“I need to ask you something.”
“Hmm?”
“I’m always here, telling you about all my problems.”
I laughed. “That’s the point of what we’re doing here.”
“I haven’t told you something.”
The air curled with the same anticipation that I hadn’t been sure about months ago, and now I was unsure about what I felt and the timing.
“Have you ever wanted to tell someone you wanted something more, but are afraid of what might happen?” he asked.
The fear of rejection. Even the world’s powerful men knew that feeling, but it was extraordinary he could realize and communicate it. “That’s human nature.”
“Would you take off your shrink hat for a second?” Aiden pushed out of his chair and paced. “I’m not ready to be done. I have more to talk about. I just haven’t brought it up.”
His abruptness and tone caught me off guard. “I’m sorry. I… didn’t know.”
Aiden dropped back to his chair. “There’s a girl.”
My heart sank. Damn. For so many reasons, damn. He hadn’t told me because of what had happened in the elevator, and that was the reason boundaries like ours should never be crossed. I hadn’t seen it coming, and I hurt even more than I did to begin with. “Then we should work on this. I didn’t know.”
He ran his hand over his face. “I like her. Fucking hell, I’m crazy about her.”
This was going to put me in all kinds of therapy. “That’s terrific. But if you didn’t bring it up because of the elevator, I need to apologize. I’m sorry. I crossed the line, and—”
“Stop.”
I ran my hands into my hair. My attraction clouded my professional judgement, and then my feelings obscured what he needed. “I just need to say this. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing, Alexis.” Two lines furrowed on his forehead, and I’d never seen him this upset before.
I bit my lip. “Okay.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, then threw his hand down like he was frustrated or angry. “I’m afraid to talk about her. Hell. Afraid to pursue her. She’s great. Brilliant. I’ve never met anyone like her, and I fell for her.”
I couldn’t help but smile. He had no idea how easy it was for people to genuinely like him. Even if he was dirt poor and worked in the mail room, I’d still be nuts about the guy. Anyone would feel the same way.
“Lots of people would say the same thing about you.”
“She’s the real deal.”
“I hate to break it to you, Aiden, but you’re a catch. Being a billionaire aside. You’re a pretty good guy.”
The stress lines and frustration melted away with his laugh. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” This sucked so much. “You don’t need therapy for this. Just tell her. If she isn’t interested, it’s not because of you.”
“Alexis.” He inched forward on his chair. “It’s you. How do you not know this?”
My jaw fell open.
He stood and moved closer to me but the expanse between us seemed miles wide as I tried to piece together how I’d missed what he seemed so certain about.
“Alexis, I don’t want you to apologize for the elevator. Ever. I want you to want that. I want you to… I want you.”
Want wasn’t a strong enough word, but I wasn’t strong enough to say that. Or was I? This was so much to take in. Thirty seconds ago, I’d thought he was telling me about falling deeply for another woman, but that woman was me.
“You’re not saying anything.” He arched an eyebrow. “You always have something to say.”
I pushed out of the safety of my chair, flying without my safety net, never feeling more vulnerable and excited. God, happy! There was so much to process. “I have lots to say, but I’m searching for the right words.”
“Screw the right words.” Aiden confidently stepped close, his worries seemingly gone. “I don’t want just your curated thoughts and your body in taboo places, Alexis.” His gaze scraped over me in a way that nearly set the threads of my clothes alight. “I want all of you.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I finally admitted.
“It’s simple.” His eyes danced. “I want to hear what you want.”
That was simple too. “You.”
His smile lit brighter than anything I’d ever seen and the hands that had held me in the elevator grasped my waist once again. “Excellent.”
We had the trust and somehow, we had the friendship. We had everything, even the orgasm he had made me nearly scream in public. Yet we’d never shared a kiss. My stomach flipped as he ducked his chin. The spicy, expensive scent of his cologne was a reminder of our interlude in the elevator, and my pussy clenched unexpectedly.
His lips brushed against mine, savoring the moment, and their surprising softness was spectacular, only to be outdone by the assured fullness. “So sweet.”
I swooned. There was no other way to describe what he was doing to me.
Then he pressed his lips to mine, and pushed his tongue into my mouth, kissing me with the trust and passion we’d built for months. This was better than any kiss and dream.