Chapter 17

Lauren

The first thing I notice when I wake up is the silence, which I find strange since I remember the patter of rain during the night.

The next thing I notice is the absence.

Chase isn’t beside me on the bed, just the pillow, which immediately raises my suspicion. I sit up, clutching the quilt to my bare chest.

I find no sign of him in the room.

Maybe he’s in the bathroom?

But no. The bathroom door is open and the light isn’t on.

Maybe he went out?

Wait, there’s a note and the wad of cash on the nightstand. My stomach drops.

I lift the clock so I can get the folded piece of paper that’s under it. I unfold it.

Lauren,

As you read this, I’ll be far away. I’m going to set things right once and for all. No more hiding or running away. I’m going to find the truth, face it, and deal with it. I’m going to take back what is mine and my mother’s.

Don’t look for me. Don’t follow me. Stay safe. Wait for me if you can. If I survive, I’ll come back for you when all this is over. If I don’t, forget all about me and have a good life. Leave the ranch. Spread your wings. Go for your dreams. You are an amazing woman, Lauren, and you deserve to experience the world and all the best it has to offer.

I was able to – through you.

If you can’t wait for me, I’ll understand, too. Just be happy.

Love,

Chester

P.S. Say sorry to Isaac for me. I never meant to hurt him. I wish you both not just a little peace but all of it.

I fold the note, which is now stained with a few teardrops, then let it slip through my fingers, falling on my lap without a sound.

For a moment, I sit there, frozen. I play the words over and over again in my head so they can sink in.

When they do, I lay back down, letting my head dent the pillow and pulling the quilt up to my shaking shoulders as I sob uncontrollably, my emotions spilling out.

How could Chase have left me? He said he loved me.

I hug the pillow beside me tighter, my tears forming a puddle on the cover as I breathe in what’s left of Chase’s scent.

Forget him, he said. But how can I when his touches are carved into my skin, his smile embedded in my memory? How can I forget him when he’s the first man I’ve ever had sex with, his cum still between my thighs?

How can I forget him after what he said to me, after all the things we’ve done, all the things he’s made me feel? How can I forget him when he’s the only man I’ve ever loved?

I run my fingers over the bruise left by his kiss, remembering it. It’s still tender, still reddish. A souvenir, he called it. A parting gift.

But not if I have anything to say about it.

I sit up with the pillow against my chest, and wipe my tears with the back of my hand. I read the letter again, trying to make sense of it.

I can’t. It doesn’t make sense.

Why would he go off and leave me here when we left the ranch together?

Fine. Maybe he didn’t want to bring me along. Maybe he did because I was stubborn, insistent. He couldn’t shake me off.

Well, now, he’s done that.

At least, that’s what he thinks.

Chase thinks I’ll drive back home to the ranch, reconcile with my father and go on with my life until he shows up again, as unexpected as he did the first time.

But no. I’m not going home. If he’s not going to run away or hide, neither will I. If he’s going to set things right, I’ll help him. I’ll help him take what is his back and then I’ll take back what is mine.

I fold the note again, toss it onto the nightstand, then get out of bed and head for the bathroom.

I know. I know he said not to follow him but I’m not. I’m following my heart. And it will be dangerous. But that’s all the more reason for me to go after him, to go with him. It’s too dangerous for him to face alone.

Besides, he said he loved me and he still does, having mentioned the word toward the end of the note. He signed with his real name, which means that regardless of who he is, he loves me. He truly loves me.

I won’t let him do this alone.

I wash my face, taking note of the bits of hair stuck to the sink, which weren’t there yesterday.

He shaved?

That means he’ll be more easily recognized, which makes the situation even more dangerous.

I have to hurry.

I brush my teeth as fast as I can then put on the only clothes I have – the collared blouse and pleated skirt I was wearing yesterday along with the college sweater. Then I slip on my shoes and grab the cash Chase left me on the nightstand, along with the car keys in the drawer, which I toss inside my pocket. I grab the keys to the room as well and leave the room with the bed still unmade and the sheets stained with sweat, sex, and tears.

I take the stairs down two at a time and utter a silent prayer that I’m not too late, that I can find him before he gets into any real trouble.

There’s only one place he could be.