Hendrix
At the reception area of the vet, there’s a candle the staff lights that alerts anyone coming in that a family is saying goodbye to their loved one. It’s a sign to keep their voices low, a sign that there are people who are losing a part of their soul. A gentle sign that there are people in the world who understand that not all loved ones and family members stand on two legs. Some stand on four, some are just as loved as any flesh and blood human, and most, if not all, love better than most humans ever can in return.
Because seeing that candle flickering for me and Elle as we left Thor behind meant so much to both of us, Elle strikes a match and lights a candle in Holiday’s room. She watches the flame as if maybe it can heal her heart. If it works, I’ll watch that flame all night.
Or should I say day. Sunlight cracks through broken clouds, and I shut the blinds. After leaving the vet, Axle forced me to the ER. Took them a while to clean out the stick in my leg and to stitch me up. MRI for my head took time, as well. Elle stood by my side every step of the way. This one is strong. This girl is steel.
I drop onto the bed and rub my face. Protecting my leg, I took a half-ass shower, and I’m ready to sleep for the rest of my life. Elle’s also showered, her long hair damp across her shoulders. She wears one of Holiday’s tank tops and cotton shorts.
For what easily has to be the two hundredth time, her cell rings, and instead of placing the call into voice mail like she typically has, she powers it off, drops it to the floor and stomps the hell out of it. It’s crazy, but it sure as hell isn’t the worst thing I’ve seen in twenty-four hours. “You okay?”
“I think you know the answer to that.”
Playing devil’s advocate, I say, “Your parents are probably scared. They’ve always known, or at least thought they’ve known, where you are, what you’re doing—”
“Then I guess they’ll figure out how I felt when I asked them to help you, and Dad initially refused.”
I raise my eyebrows as Elle’s only told me a CliffsNotes version of the events from her side. I want to know more, but I’m too damn tired and Elle’s eyes are red from crying, and those dark circles under them are so heavy I’m surprised she’s standing. We can talk the sick details later. “Are you going to be mad at them forever?”
“How about I be mad at them for now, and I’ll figure the rest out anytime that is not now. All I know is that I’m with you, I’m not sneaking around anymore, and I’m not letting anyone control me. As of last night, my life became my own, and right now, I want to sleep.”
“Fair enough.” I lie back on the bed, and I never remember a pillow feeling so soft.
It’s going to be a few days until I can climb the ladder back to my bed, so Holiday volunteered to switch. She’s heartbroken, and I hugged her and told her it wasn’t her fault. I also told her I loved her, and I thanked her for having the courage to call Elle for help when no one else did. My sister sobbed then, and I let her. All of us have too many tears we’ve haven’t shed over the years, and it’s time we start releasing the pain.
Holding it in isn’t working for any of us, and we need to start focusing on each other. Hate hasn’t been working out too well either. We’ve got nothing to lose by trying love.
I stretch out my arm toward Elle, she accepts and lies down on the bed beside me, but that’s not nearly close enough for either of us. She flips and molds herself around me, delicately moving as to not press too hard on any of my bruises or wounds.
No painkiller could bring the peace that having her soft body next to mine could bring. No drug, no drink, no other man-made substance can ease all the aches and chaos in my life. Elle is a gift, and it’s time I learn how to accept all the serenity she brings to me.
My hand weaves into her hair, I gently knot my fingers into it, and I kiss the top of her head that’s resting on my chest. I breathe in her sweet scent and close my eyes. Home. I’m finally home.
“I miss him,” Elle whispers.
A flash of an ache in my chest. “Me, too.”
“Thank you for giving him a home.”
She has it wrong. “He gave me a home. Thor saved me.” In more ways than I can count. The police officer told me he thought Thor was struggling free to go after Jeremy. Another said that last bullet was meant for me and that Thor threw himself into the path of it, but I blink away the burn as I can’t think too much about any of that yet.
“He was loved,” she says. “There’s so many in life who aren’t.”
So true. Even for humans. “You saved me, too, Elle. Thank you.”
“I told you before, your life is worth saving. Always has been and it will always be.” Elle lifts her head, caresses her fingers across my face, and she kisses my lips. “I love you.”
I love her, too. More than words. More than thought. More than anyone can comprehend. I kiss her in return, a slow movement, and then shift so I somehow fill the slight centimeters between us. The sweet kiss ends, Elle settles her head back on my chest, and wrapped in each other’s arms, we sleep.