The campsite wasn’t much to look at. When he’d set it up, Shaun had found the best clearing he could. The space was wide enough for him to put up a tent big enough to fit his large body, and have a small area left for him to set up a fire pit. The clearing seemed a little claustrophobic to him now he was showing it off to Lucas. Between the small area beside the fire pit, and the tent itself, it didn’t really scream comfort and relaxation.

“It’s a little, uh, tight, I know,” he said hastily.

Lucas looked around, brows slightly raised. “I’ll think of it as…cozy.”

Which was just a nice term for “really small”, but Shaun would take it. Lucas didn’t look upset or bothered by the close quarters, so Shaun was willing to let his sudden embarrassment pass without comment. It had been hard enough sitting down with Lucas and his parents for a seemingly normal meal. His parents hadn’t said anything about his recent behavior, but he’d noticed their palpable relief at the reappearance of his social side. He’d followed suit and said nothing, happily chatting with them about anything but his behavior over the past couple of months.

It’d been hard enough having to have Lucas sit him down and talk about what he’d been like. Shaun didn’t think he could have stood having to talk to his parents about it, too. Guilt still churned in his gut every time he looked at his partner, and the accompanying shame tasted like acid in the back of his throat. Some part of him, a not-so-quiet part really, had known what he was doing was a terrible choice on his part. Yet he’d kept doing it, allowing himself “one more day” so long as everything was left unspoken. He’d wanted to be angry with his partner for daring to bring it up, but faced with Lucas’ distraught plea, Shaun hadn’t been able to manage even a flicker of indignant protest. Lucas had been right, and for all his pride and stubbornness, Shaun hadn’t bothered fighting that fact.

There was still plenty of tension left in the way Lucas poked around the campsite. Shaun wasn’t sure if that was Lucas trying to move past what had happened, or if it was whatever he still had left to say. Nerves eclipsed the guilt fluttering in his chest as he stood at the edge of the clearing, feeling like an idiot. His partner had said it wasn’t supposed to be a bad conversation, but that didn’t give Shaun much comfort. Good or not, Shaun could tell it was probably going to be another serious and emotional conversation.

Lucas nudged the tarp wrapped bundle of dry firewood. “You were well-prepared, I see.”

Shaun jiggled the bag hanging from a strap on his shoulder. “I’d just been eating canned stuff when I came out before. Figured I should bring something a little fancier than canned ravioli for us, though.”

Lucas eyed the insulated bag with a faint smile. “And what did you bring with you, Chef Shaun?”

“Fish,” he replied as he set the bag down and began setting up the fire.

“I don’t think I’ve had fish that didn’t come wrapped in paper embossed with the logo of a fast food restaurant in quite some time,” Lucas said, sounding interested by the idea.

“Trust me, everything tastes better when it’s cooked over an actual wood fire,” Shaun assured him.

Lucas said nothing, keeping a small smile on his face while Shaun worked on building the fire. There was an air of sadness around Lucas, and Shaun couldn’t quite pinpoint the source. He knew part of it was his own fault for not being there for his partner the past couple of months. Shaun also seriously hoped that whatever it was wasn’t directly tied to what Lucas still wanted to talk to him about. There had been enough sadness in their lives lately, and he wasn’t thrilled at the idea of adding any more.

It was amazing how easy it was to lose himself in the flow of working with the fire and cooking their dinner. He was so rarely able to show off his cooking abilities, that he found himself lost in stoking the fire and keeping an eye on the fish after slapping it down on the grill he’d placed over the flames. He’d made sure to bring plates and plastic cutlery with them, and after an hour of setting up, creating the fire, and cooking the fish, the both of them sat down around the fire to dig into the freshly-cooked food.

“I have to say, you weren’t wrong,” Lucas said after a few bites.

“About?” Shaun asked, looking up from his plate.

Lucas held up a flaky piece of the fish on his fork. “This is way better cooked on a wood fire.”

Shaun smiled shyly. “Helps when you’ve been used to fast-food fish for the past few years.”

“It’s going to be hard to go back to it after this,” Lucas said as he continued eating.

“I’m glad my skills in the kitchen can impress ya,” Shaun said with a smile.

The returning smile Lucas gave him warmed him down to his toes. “You’ve never stopped impressing me Shaun, well-cooked fish or not.”

Shaun could feel his face burning at the compliment and he glanced away with a little cough. It was hard to believe he had willingly shut himself off from Lucas for a couple of months. At moments like this, it was easy to forget just how cold Lucas could be with the rest of the world. His partner was one of the warmest people he knew, and deep down, he knew he cared fiercely. It was one of the many things that he loved about his partner.

“I’ve been in love with ya for years, ya know that?” Shaun heard himself ask casually.

The blank expression that slid across Lucas’ face was so total that he could have been a statue. If there had been the heat of a blush in Shaun’s face before, it bled out to canvas white when he realized exactly what he had said. His moment of desperate happiness at the sight of his content partner had instantly melted to dismay. He knew he was a person who tended to speak his mind, and bluntly at that, but that very sentence had been one he’d avoided saying aloud since he’d realized it years ago. He didn’t know if it was the moment they were having, the fact that he had been so uncharacteristically distant from Lucas for the past couple of months, or exhaustion from hiding it for so long finally catching up with him. It was probably a mixture of all those reasons, but the reason didn’t change the fact that he’d said it, or that he couldn’t take it back.

Shaun’s throat tightened, even as he tried for a small smile. “Surprise?”

Lucas blinked rapidly as he looked like he was trying to find words. “Uh, well, I guess that’s an…appropriate segue into what I meant to talk to you about.”

Hope and dread, in equal measure, flooded Shaun’s thoughts. “Yeah?”

Lucas set the plate with the remainder of his dinner aside, nodding. “Yes. You see, I was talking to Nic recently and he made me aware of a few things that I knew I needed to address with you.”

Shaun leaned back slightly. “Ya talked to Nic about this?”

Lucas sighed. “Trust me when I say he was already well aware of this before I ever said anything to him. I tried discussing with him what he thought was going on between us. I don’t doubt you’ve wondered what is what when it comes to the three of us as well. All three of us have established a sexual relationship, both as duos, and as a trio. Add in the close bond that’s more than friendship, and I had to know what his thoughts on the matter were. It didn’t get me far, since he made it clear that I needed to discuss things with you first, which is what I was planning to do out here.”

Shaun was nodding at Lucas’ speech, trying not to smile as he did so. His partner was speaking clearly, but rapidly. Lucas only spoke quickly when he was either going over a plan of action that he’d poured his heart into laying out, or when he was nervous and attempting to hide it. He had adopted his formal speech pattern, rather than the tone Shaun referred to as his “Professor Voice.” Which told him Lucas was far more nervous than he was letting on, probably just as nervous as Shaun himself was feeling.

“Okay, well I guess ya have your chance since I went and opened my big mouth,” Shaun told him slowly, still too afraid to reach out and touch Lucas.

“I do indeed have my chance, though admittedly it has taken me by surprise. What it comes down to…my point is…dammit, have you really been in love with me this whole time?” Lucas asked, his formal tone shattering to reveal the fear and worry hiding beneath it.

Shaun forced himself to continue staring into Lucas’ dark green gaze. “Yeah. Figured it out awhile ago, just didn’t say anythin’. And before ya ask, I didn’t say nothin’ because I didn’t want to change anythin’. We were the best partners I ever saw, and we were best friends. With us havin’ sex too, I figured it was as close to bein’ with you as I could get without riskin’ changin’ everything, ya know?”

Lucas took a deep breath. “I…have to say, I didn’t expect that. Between all the guys over the years, and with how you were with Nic…”

Shaun shook his head. “The other guys were just for fun. I didn’t wanna keep just sleepin’ with ya, because I knew that would’ve only made things worse for me. I was okay with feelin’ that way, but I didn’t wanna make it the only thing, or I woulda done somethin’ stupid to fuck it all up. And Nic? I don’t know, he’s weird. He always makes things weird, but in a kinda good way, ya know? Like, I love you, but I really like him, too. Don’t really know him well enough to say I feel that way about him, but I’ve known you for years.”

Lucas gazed up at him in what looked like amazement. “You really fell in love with me? And have been hiding it this whole time by being a player?”

Shaun coughed “Player? I…wouldn’t have called it that, but yeah, that’s one way of puttin’ it.”

Lucas leaned forward suddenly, wrapping his arms around Shaun’s shoulders and yanking him down toward him. Shaun flailed in surprise, not prepared for the sudden assault. He dropped the plate of fish he’d forgotten he was still holding, when he felt Lucas’ mouth press against his. A point of heat in his chest flared to life, and he made a soft noise at the surprising desire coming from Lucas. His partner all but crawled into his lap, never breaking the kiss as he wrapped his long legs around Shaun’s waist and kissed him harder.

A mix of emotions flooded Shaun’s mind as Lucas’ mouth opened, the gesture both inviting and demanding at the same time. He never would have guessed that this confession would have gained him anything but Lucas’ quiet distance and confusion that Shaun hadn’t followed the implicit rules of their partnership. Lucas also hadn’t given him a direct answer, despite the fervent kiss. Yet his body was reacting to the kiss, and to the very much desired press of Lucas’ body against his. He was confused, curious, hopeful, and extremely horny, all in one.

“This is a good thing, right?” Shaun asked between kisses.

Lucas laughed, the sound rich and full of relief. “I love you too, you stubborn shit.”

His partner was only calling him stubborn because Shaun had held onto that little bit of information for so long. It made Shaun want to both laugh and whoop at the same time. Lucas was gazing intensely down at him, and even in the shadows cast by the trees above, his dark eyes sparkled with happiness.

“You kept it to yourself too,” Shaun pointed out with a grin.

“True, but I still say you’re the stubborn one. By the way, would it be in poor taste to say that I want us to go into your tent now and end up with far less clothing than we currently have on?” Lucas asked hesitantly.

Shaun didn’t hesitate in his reply. “Hell no, it’s been far too long.”

Lucas’ hum of agreement cut into a yelp of surprise when Shaun stood up with Lucas still wrapped around him. Walking across the campsite to the tent while still kissing the man wrapped around him was no small feat, but Shaun managed it, setting Lucas down as gently as he could on top of the sleeping bag he’d laid out inside. Knowing full well they were going to be in there for awhile, he broke the kiss long enough to close the tent flap behind him.

“Oh hell, I didn’t think to bring anything,” Lucas said in sudden dismay.

Shaun chuckled, patting the breast pocket of his coat. “I got us covered.”

Lucas cocked a brow. “You thought we’d have sex when we came out here?”

“Ya say that like we haven’t been havin’ a lot of sex with one another,” Shaun said.

Lucas looked away. “Well, not lately.”

Shaun felt the flare of guilt and shoved it away instantly. “Well, that’s changin’ tonight.”

He kissed Lucas again, lowering his hips to press against Lucas’ covered ass. His partner groaned into the kiss, hands scrambling to find their way under Shaun’s shirt. Lucas always touched Shaun like a familiar lover, knowing exactly where to touch and how, but he never lost his enthusiasm for doing it. The man always treated sex with him like a very familiar, but much loved treasure. It never ceased to make Shaun’s pants feel a few sizes too small.

Shaun reached to shove Lucas’ jacket off, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and pulling it off over his head. He needed as much of Lucas exposed as quickly as possible. Even as he tossed the shirt away, he was quick to bring his mouth down onto Lucas’ neck. He scraped his teeth along the exposed skin, kissing the collarbone, and drawing his tongue down the middle of his chest. Lucas’ stomach muscles jumped as Shaun paid special attention to his body, knowing how sensitive a spot it was on his partner. Lucas stretched out, hips rolling as Shaun teasingly kissed a trail along his waist and his fingers slowly slid his zipper down.

He ignored the tightness in his own pants as he freed Lucas’ cock from his underwear. Lucas shimmied out of his pants, his gaze never leaving Shaun’s face. Shaun bowed his head forward, running his tongue from the base of Lucas’ cock, slowly up the shaft and lapping around the head with a faint moan. He could taste Lucas as he wrapped his lips around him, sliding his cock down over his tongue and into his throat.

“Oh shit,” Lucas swore eloquently, never taking his eyes off Shaun.

Shaun would have grinned if his mouth were free, but he settled on happily humming as he took more of Lucas’s length into his mouth. His partner wiggled, his hands curling into Shaun’s hair as he moaned softly. Shaun loved the way Lucas bit his bottom lip as he eagerly watched Shaun’s progress. Lucas always looked like he was trying to keep control, even as he moaned softly and writhed when Shaun sucked him just deep enough.

The canvas groundsheet rustled under them as Lucas pushed himself up, only to reach out and pull Shaun down toward him. Shaun begrudgingly allowed himself to be pulled free from his partner’s cock, giving in to his tugging. He didn’t need Lucas to say anything as he bent forward to kiss him once more. He could tell just what his partner wanted from the glint in his eyes.

“You never did have any patience when it came to sex,” Shaun mumbled against his mouth.

Lucas snorted. “We can be patient when you’re inside me. It’s been weeks.”

That was true, and Shaun could feel those weeks of not having touched Lucas rapidly catching up with him. Lucas ran his long fingers down Shaun’s back, while Shaun ran a trail of kisses up the man’s arm as he struggled with his pants. He nuzzled against Lucas’ neck, sighing in relief when their combined efforts finally pushed his pants and underwear off. He breathed in deeply, taking the scent of the woods and the subtle cologne that suited Lucas so well, into his lungs.

He didn’t care how much it drove Lucas crazy, Shaun was bound and determined to take his time with this. He thrilled at the hard and heavy sex that was normal for them, but he loved watching Lucas simultaneously tense and relax in those rare moments when they took it slow and easy. Shaun explored Lucas’ body with the same eagerness as he lubed up his fingers and slipped one into him. Lucas’ stomach tightened, going taut beneath Shaun’s soft kisses as he eased another finger gently into him with a gasp.

Shaun smiled, gaze flicking up to his partner’s face as he slowly eased him open. Lucas’ eyes were half-lidded, and looked torn between pleasure and impatience. His partner was one of the most methodical and careful people he knew, in every aspect of his life save this one. Shaun loved watching as Lucas was torn between relishing the attention, and wanting to get straight to the fucking part. A third finger earned him a pained noise that he thought had more to do with Lucas’ internal debate than any real pain.

“I love how you look when you’re like this,” Shaun whispered, running gentle kisses down the man’s side.

“Because you’re a sadist,” Lucas told him, reaching to slowly trace a soft line over Shaun’s brow with his thumb.

“Only sometimes,” Shaun said.

Lucas eyed him warily. “Are you going to make me beg for it this time, too?”

Shaun chuckled at the memory of the one time he had driven Lucas to that point with his slow teasing. “Naw, I want it pretty bad right now. Still can’t believe ya let me get away with that.”

Lucas’ eyes fell to Shaun’s crotch. “That dick has a way of being awfully convincing.”

Chuckling, Shaun carefully pulled his fingers free from Lucas. As he lubed himself up, he kissed him once more. Just as the sex between them never got old or stale, Shaun never got tired of kissing his partner. It had been a kiss that had first made him fall in love with Lucas. For all his chilly airs and stiffness, Lucas was warm and soft whenever Shaun kissed him. It wasn’t like kissing an entirely different person than he was used to; Shaun had just realized it was like discovering a hidden part of Lucas.

“This mean I can say I love ya?” Shaun asked carefully.

Fear, then happiness flashed across Lucas’ face before he smiled. “Only if we say it outside of times we’re sleeping together, too.”

Shaun kissed the middle of his brow as he whispered. “I love ya, whether my dick is in ya or not.”

He didn’t know if that was romantic or not, since romance had never really been his forte. But Lucas clung to him all the same, pressing their bodies closer together once again. Shaun pressed the head of his cock against Lucas, feeling his partner’s hips twitch up in response. He took that as an affirmative and guided himself slowly down, into his hot ass. Their mouths met and he sank slowly into Lucas as a slow rumble of pleasure escaped from both of them.

Lucas took a deep breath when Shaun’s hips pressed flush against him. “Why’s it feel better than usual?”

“Dunno,” Shaun admitted, having been thinking the same thing but not wanting to say it aloud and risk having Lucas think it wasn’t always good.

It was true though, as he began to slowly move his hips. Something about this was better than all the other times. Maybe it was how long it had been since the last time either of them had sex. Maybe it was just simply the fact that it was the first time Shaun had sex with Lucas after having been completely honest about how he felt. Not only that, but Lucas genuinely shared his feelings. His feelings had been the greatest secret, and he was starting to realize just how ridiculous it was to have kept it to himself for so long.

“Lord,” he murmured, burying his face in Lucas’ neck once more.

Lucas groaned softly, wrapping his arms around Shaun’s neck and holding him close as they rocked together. There was intense pleasure, and Shaun would still swear there was definitely more physical pleasure than usual. It was the emotion that had him in awe. There had always been a closeness between him and Lucas when they slept together, but it had never felt as intimate as this. There were all the moans and soft sighs that there usually were, though with less sound of skin meeting skin as they moved with one another. Yet he was more aware of Lucas’ presence than he had ever been before. The feel of his body against his, the smell of his cologne, the sound of his soft moans in his ear when he bottomed out, and even the sight of his dark green eyes flashing up at him. He was lost in Lucas in a way he had never been before.

Lucas began to tense beneath him and Shaun smiled softly. He never changed his pace, letting his hips keep their steady beat. Lucas pulled him in tight once more, his kisses becoming needy and almost frantic. He rode Shaun’s careful thrusts until finally he let out a soft cry against Shaun’s mouth, pushing his ass flush against Shaun’s hips as his orgasm washed over him and he came between them. Just feeling his partner murmur desperately against him as he came was enough for Shaun and his mind was wiped clean as his own orgasm overtook him. Pleasure swept through him, riding along the grip of Lucas’ hands against him, and the scent of him as he held Lucas close, whispering his name.

When it was done, they both lay together in the darkness of the tent. There was enough moonlight overhead leaking through the treetops and the tent for Shaun to see Lucas’ outline beside him. Without the warmth of sex, they were curled together in the sleeping bag, just watching one another in the darkness.

“I never liked camping before this,” Lucas finally said quietly.

Shaun snickered. “I know how to be convincing sometimes.”

Lucas ran his fingers through Shaun’s hair. “Helps when it involves spending time with you, though.”

Shaun closed his eyes, nodding along with the sentiment. It wasn’t often they were this warm and gentle with one another, and this was a completely new level for them. He was going to bask in the heat of it for as long as he could, contentment flooding him even as his mind sifted over everything that had happened.

He opened his eyes to the darkness. “Kinda feels almost weird without him, doesn’t it?”

Lucas paused in thought. “Nic?”

“Yeah, don’t it? Kinda weird to say, huh?” Shaun asked, belatedly realizing he was risking shooting the moment in the foot.

There was a rustling sound, which Shaun thought might be Lucas shaking his head. “No, it’s not weird. I guess part of me was thinking it too. Just means the three of us have to have a talk is all.”

Shaun groaned. “How many talks are we going to have before the month is over?”

Lucas laughed, rolling himself on top of Shaun and kissing him gently. “As many as it takes. But Nic can wait. Tonight is for you and me, no one else.”

Shaun accepted the kisses with a smile. “I think I can live with that.”