The blare of an alarm clock was not a sound Kehlan had ever associated with happiness. It was a sound he associated with early morning classes, and the constant state of never having enough sleep that he had been in throughout his residency. It was one of his least favorite things in the world.

But this morning, this alarm clock woke him up into the realization of Paige in his arms, and it was just about enough to redeem the sound in his mind. It drew him out of sleep faster than it did her, and he was able to reach out and silence the little device before she was completely awake.

“Where did the…sound…go?” she asked sleepily, her eyes still closed.

He smiled affectionately. She was too tired, apparently, to remember all of her words. He tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, and ran his fingers up and down her bare arm.

“I shut it off. It’s trying to take you away from me, and I can’t have that.”

Her eyes shot open.

“Work! I’ve got to get to work. What time is it?”

“It’s still dark out,” Kehlan protested, half amused, half bewildered by the whirlwind that the woman he loved had turned into. “I thought that alarm was for getting Dylan to school.”

“It’s both,” she said. “I’m on the breakfast shift today. Breakfast starts early around here.”

He wanted to ask her to stay. He wanted to ask her to come back to bed, and to let him enjoy the feeling of her body against his, the way he had when she was sleeping. But he was too amazed by her to do so.

Was this what her life had been before she met him? Always on, always forward, waking up before dawn to work, even after the one night off she’d begrudgingly granted herself?

She was incredible. And Kehlan promised himself as he watched her quick, hurried morning motions, that he would use every resource he had to grant her a little rest. It would be the best use of his resources he’d ever found.

She was just about to leave when he called out to her.

“Paige!”

She turned, confused.

“Can you spare a second? Just one?”

He smiled, and she understood what he meant. Returning to the bed, she gave him a sweet, soft kiss on the lips, followed by a momentary, intimate shared smile.

And then, she was gone.

The bed felt cold without her there, and the sun still hadn’t risen. Kehlan could feel the lack of sleep settled on his bones, and even though he was used to the feeling, it was one that he’d done his best to avoid since his residency.

He should go back to sleep, he knew. And yet, it just didn’t feel right to try to sleep without her there.

He smiled to himself. How was it that he already felt that he couldn’t sleep without her? And how long would it be until he would never need to again? There were logistics to be worked out. He wouldn’t push things, or rush things. How she wanted to move things forward with bringing him into her and Dylan’s family unit was up to her. If she wanted him to get his own place until she decided Dylan was ready to accept him into their household completely, then that was what he would do.

Still, he couldn’t help but see himself moving in here, and waking up every morning in this bed, with this woman, as he had today.

And if he had ever had any chance of getting back to sleep, those thoughts banished it completely. Instead, he stood, and ambled towards the kitchen. He’d spent enough time here over the past week that everything felt easy and familiar. The coffee and the coffee maker were both right where he thought they were, and he reveled in the rote way he made the coffee, and how much this house already felt like home.

While the coffee brewed, he went looking for his phone. They’d been in a bit of a flurry last night through the house, and his clothes were scattered around. It took him a few minutes before he found his phone under the coffee table.

Yawning, between glances at the brewing coffee, he unlocked his phone.

And stared.

Notifications from the night before scrolled down the screen, one after another. Different family members, calling and texting him, asking why he wasn’t picking up his phone.

A knot began to form in the pit of his stomach. He scrolled through the notifications, hoping against hope to find a message or missed call from his mother, proving that she was all right. Proving that all of this was not about her.

Nothing.

Still, Kehlan tried to calm his nerves. They’d left things on poor terms, and his mother was nothing if not a stubborn woman. Perhaps there was some other family drama, and she just wasn’t talking to him. He held onto this hope right up until he saw a message from his cousin Abdullah.

Why won’t you answer, K? She’s your mother.

Hands shaking, he pressed the button to call his cousin.

It was a short conversation for such an important one. His mother was sick. Cancer. She’d told no one, and only now had it become too serious to hide. She was still alive, but only barely. He needed to return home immediately if he had any chance of catching her before she passed.

Home. The word stung when Abdullah said it. How quickly he had been enjoying this little corner of the world feeling like home. And all that, just because he knew where the coffee was? But after 34 years, didn’t the place—and the woman—that had raised him deserve anything from him? Would he turn his back on it so quickly?

Paige’s words echoed through his thoughts. It’s not right, though. Running away from your responsibilities.

He told Abdullah he would be home soon, and to arrange him a flight out of Seattle. As he hung up with his cousin and began getting dressed, he was reminded of the similar motions Paige had made. Hers had been a very different whirlwind, though—she had been quick and alive and motivated, while he felt as though no part of him was touching the world around him, and nothing he did was actually happening.

She needed to know. He wanted to call her, but he couldn’t talk to her right now. It would make all of it too real. It would force him to confront it, and what a poor son he’d been to his mother when he’d known, deep down, that she was ill.

After all, didn’t he know? Hadn’t he seen? If he hadn’t, then shouldn’t he have known?

It’s not right, though…

He flipped off the coffee maker, feeling like it was a much bigger action than it was. Then, he found the back of a discarded envelope, and a half-dull colored pencil that was the closest writing utensil to hand.

“Had to return to Al-Derra. My mother is dying. I will come back.”

The words were terse and came nowhere close to what he meant, or how he felt, but they were the best he could do right now. He placed the note on the fridge, over a picture of Paige and Dylan at the zoo, the two of them posing in front of an elephant. The family he was born into was taking him from the family he wanted. He hated that he resented them for it.

He looked at the coffee maker and hesitated. Hot coffee, just waiting for him. The exhaustion in his bones, exacerbated by the mental anguish of finding out about his mother’s condition, begged him to drink it, but he didn’t have time. He knew, though, how much Paige liked a cup of iced coffee after work. That would be a nice surprise for her, at least, he thought. Maybe it would soften the blow of coming home and finding him replaced by a terse note and unanswered questions.

He put the coffee pot in the fridge and was gone, leaving the life he wanted for the life he still had.