Chapter Fifteen
IF THERE WAS ONE THING Scott knew in life, it’s what it was like to hit rock bottom. He’d been there more than once, after all, but it’d been a hell of a long time since he’d felt lower than he did right now, looking at Corey’s defeated face.
“MC₂ is dropping you, Scott.”
Scott gazed at the floor, not even attempting to babble excuses or lame justifications.
“The whole reason they do a ninety-day preliminary contract,” Corey went on hoarsely, “is so they’re not locked into something long-term with a new model who can’t seem to live up to their standards and what they want for their image.” He slammed his fist to the desk, making Scott jump. “A beautiful party boy out playing the field, experiencing everything life has to offer him? Hell yes. A brawler, someone who shows himself to be a—an utter prick? Fuck no.”
“I’m so sorry, Corey—”
“Save it.” Corey turned his head away as if he couldn’t bear the sight of Scott one more second. “Please go. We’ll talk later.”
Scott shuffled out of the office, supposing he should be relieved he hadn’t been fired from Spectrum outright, although it was clear his days were numbered. As much as he owed Corey, as much as Scott was so fucking grateful to him for everything he’d done, having it end like this was causing him no small amount of anguish.
Minh was waiting in the hallway. He took one look at Scott and pulled him into a tight hug.
“It’s over, then?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Scotty, I—”
Scott backed away, not really wanting to talk about it. “It’s okay, Minh. I’ll manage.” He changed the subject. “Have you seen Rylan? How is he?”
Minh’s eyes were worried, but he let it go. “He’s fine. He and Chris are flying out bright and early Sunday morning, you know. Rylan said he called and told you.”
Scott remembered the brief and stilted call from a few days ago, quirking his lips ruefully. “He did, and it took everything I had to keep from begging him not to go.”
Minh gave a subdued chuckle, sounding surprised by Scott’s candor. “Right there with you, baby. The struggle is real.”
“I couldn’t tell if Rylan wanted me to beg, or was relieved I didn’t.”
Minh pressed a sympathetic kiss to Scott’s shoulder. “He’s a stoic one, you know that, honey. I can tell he’s excited about the trip, but it’s still gonna be hard on him to leave, I think.”
Scott dropped his head back against the wall and blew out a breath. “This is the right thing to do, but fuck, it hurts.”
“Especially with everythin’ goin’ on right now. I’m sure you need him.”
“I do, and that’s why it’s even more important he go,” Scott said, catching the incredulous look that flitted across Minh’s face out of the corner of his eye. “It’s not his job to be my white knight, Minh, to save me from myself. I need to learn how to do that, not rely on him to make it better.” He firmed his lips. “I don’t want to be his emotional burden… I want to be his partner.”
Scott slipped his arm around Minh’s shoulders before Minh could say anything else. “How’re you holding up?”
Minh shrugged. “Well, I gave that man a few more Saturdays than I intended, didn’t I? Dunno what’s wrong with me, lettin’ him hang around so long.”
Scott wasn’t fooled by the words, and kissed the top of Minh’s head. After a moment, Minh said softly, “He needs to prove somethin’ to himself, Scotty, and tryin’ to hold him here just ain’t an option.”
“Yeah.” Scott rested his cheek on Minh’s hair. “So we let them go and hope we’re enough to bring them back.”
“Exactly. Thank fuck I don’t gotta go through this alone.”
“Never.” Scott held him close for a moment. “I’m going to quit Spectrum, though, Minh, after they—after they leave. I have to.”
Minh nodded. “It’s time, baby. You outgrew this place a long time ago. What’re you gonna do?”
“That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? I don’t have a fuckin’ clue.”
“You’ll figure it out.” Minh patted his cheek and turned away. “Oh, hey. I—” He hesitated. “We’re throwing Rylan and Chris a going-away party on Saturday night. The girls are gonna set up a show, and I—I think you should come.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Good.” With a wave, Minh headed off in the direction of the dressing room, and Scott made his way to the employee entrance, intending to hit the gym for a long, therapeutic workout. Before he could push through the door, he heard his name being called and turned to see Corey hurrying down the hallway toward him. Scott braced himself, expecting to summarily be handed his pink slip.
Instead Corey said, a little out of breath, “Scotty, you just got a request for a VIP gig Friday night.” He sounded surprised, as if he couldn’t believe anyone would want him, a feeling Scott had to admit he shared.
“Well, sure,” he said slowly. “Who is it?”
When Corey said the name, Scott felt shock move through him, followed by a cautious sense of excitement as the ideas suddenly started flowing.
Maybe this was the million-dollar answer.
* * *
“Uh, you know I’ll have to charge you for whatever you’re drinking tonight, Scotty. Corey said—”
Scott gave Danny a reassuring smile. “Of course, man. No worries.”
Danny’s face softened with relief as he asked, “What can I get you, then?”
Scott ordered a club soda with lime, and as Danny pushed it over to him, he whispered, “Hell, I ain’t gonna charge you for a fuckin’ fizzy water, babe. You want a splash of a little somethin’-somethin’ in it?”
Scott slipped a five-dollar bill into Danny’s tip jar. “This’ll do me. Thanks, dude.” They bumped knuckles before Danny moved off to serve his other customers. Scott swiveled around on his stool and sipped his drink, watching the stage as Rylan and Chris were thoroughly roasted by a bevy of sexy drag queens. Double entendres about “long, hard lenses” and “shooting” were thick in the air, and they’d both been treated to lap dances, playful groping and lots of serenading. The affection behind it was almost palpable, though, and Scott couldn’t help but smile.
He glanced around the crowded room, at the excited and chattering party crowd, but nobody was paying any attention whatsoever to him. Instead of making him feel anxious and invisible like it had before, Scott was grateful for it. Apparently the rumor mill hadn’t started churning over a certain little tidbit yet—that Scott had resigned from the club earlier that morning—so at least he didn’t have to worry about stealing Rylan and Chris’s spotlight tonight.
Up on stage, the show was ending, each drag queen sashaying up to plant exaggerated kisses of good-bye on both men’s cheeks, lipstick prints of varying shades soon covering their faces. The DJ announced the next set would be a playlist of the guests of honors’ favorite songs, and he launched into it, the strobe lights flashing and the music pounding. Teena, looking gorgeous in a black sparkly minidress, pink wig, and sky-high heels, dragged Chris onto the dance floor. Rylan disappeared in the direction of the restrooms, emerging after a few minutes to lean with one shoulder against a pillar, arms crossed over his chest.
Scott traced his eyes over him…tall and lean, wearing soft faded jeans and a torso-hugging black Henley, the sleeves pushed to his elbows. He had a couple of leather bracelets on one wrist, his watch on the other, diamond earrings winking in the light. His thick brown hair was mussed, his full lips quirked in a half smile.
God, you’re so beautiful, baby.
He couldn’t help but drift in Rylan’s direction, just needing to be near him. As he drew closer, he noticed with tender amusement that although Rylan had gone into the bathroom to scrub his face clean of drag queen kisses, a garish purple lip print still lurked high on his jawline.
“You missed one,” Scott murmured, coming up behind him. Rylan glanced over his shoulder at him.
“Really? I could have sworn I got them all.”
“Nope. Here.” Scott reached out and gently rubbed the greasy lipstick off, letting his thumb linger for a moment, feeling the slight rasp of Rylan’s stubble along the sensitive pad. Unable to resist, he bent and trailed his lips over the spot, the subtle smell of the aftershave Rylan favored tickling his nose.
“Oh God, Ry,” he said huskily, sliding his arms around Rylan’s waist. “I’m gonna miss you so fucking much.”
Rylan sighed, melting back against him with a small shiver, and Scott pulled him even closer, nuzzling his nose into Rylan’s hair.
“I didn’t think you were gonna come say good-bye,” Rylan whispered, bringing his arms up to cross them over Scott’s where they were wrapped around his middle. “I didn’t want to leave without—”
He trailed off, and when he didn’t go on, Scott kissed his temple and just held him. They swayed together in silence, listening to the music and watching the throng on the dance floor. Rylan was warm and solid in his arms, and his breaths gusted unsteadily against Scott’s cheek when he turned his face up toward his.
“Our cab will be here in a few minutes to take us to the airport. Scott, I—”
“Hey, listen.” Scott put his lips to Rylan’s ear. “You’re gonna go, and you’re gonna do your thing, Ry. It’ll be great, and you’ll blow everyone the fuck away with your talent.” He gulped, blinking rapidly to hold the tears in. He would not cry and lay a guilt trip on Rylan. Not now.
Still, he had to force the words out through a throat that felt like it was full of broken glass. “You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever known, Rylan Mahoney, and all I want is for you to be happy. Okay?”
“Scott—”
“No matter what happens, you chase that happiness, baby.” He gave Rylan a little shake. “You hear me? Wherever it takes you, whether it’s back here to Phoenix or—or somewhere else, promise me you’ll grab onto it with both hands and never let it go.”
Rylan turned in his arms and looked up at him, his blue eyes luminous with emotion. Scott cupped his face in his hands, leaning down to kiss him gently. “The best fucking decision I ever made was to stop for you on that road.”
After running the backs of his fingers down Rylan’s cheek one last time, Scott spun around and strode across the dance floor. As he navigated through the crowd, he caught a glimpse of black sparkle and electric pink darting toward the employees-only hallway.
He changed course and chased after her, relieved when Jerry didn’t challenge him.
“Teena,” he called, and Teena stopped running and leaned against the wall, her head down. Scott put his hand on the back of her neck, rubbing it gently. “You aren’t walking him out to the cab?”
She shook her head, the movement jerky. “Nah. We said our good-byes last night.” She took in a shaky breath. “I can’t—I simply can’t watch him get into that car and drive out of my life, Scott.”
Scott gave a mirthless chuckle, his eyes burning. “Same. I just said good-bye to Rylan, and I practically bit a hole in my tongue to keep myself from blubbering all over him.”
Teena smiled at that. “We’re a sorry pair, darlin’, that’s for sure.” She peeped up at him through heavily mascaraed lashes. “You wanna go get some chili-cheese fries with me?”
“Yeah. That sounds like just what we need.” He held his arm out to her gallantly, and she took it, leaning against him. As they started to move off, Teena stopped in her tracks, clutching onto him.
“Did you at least tell him you loved him, Scotty?”
Scott looked down at her, a sudden sense of peace flooding him, making him smile.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that I did.”