Chapter Twenty-one

Zack rode in silence to the location where the tracker had been for almost a week, his hand absently playing with Shania’s hair as she rested her head on his lap from her perch between his legs. The other guys on the team were mapping their entry to the home they were totally guessing about. There wasn’t a structure there on any maps, which totally fit with what he could gather about the sneaky bastard they were trying to find.

Jonas wouldn’t file a structure permit with anyone. He would simply build something. He had the money, and he was clearly of the school of ask forgiveness not permission. Not that it was likely the man ever asked forgiveness for anything, either.

Zack had his instructions. Find cover in the woods surrounding the property and be a distraction while the guys went in. It was an unnecessary precaution, possibly even a risk, but Zack was grateful for anything to do. The undeniable need to do something regarding Bonnie’s rescue was a tangible force within him, and he would forever be grateful to Simon for letting him do this.

Testing mics on the system Evan had modified for the team’s personal use—because he couldn’t let them use any electronic straight off the shelf without tinkering with it somehow—they made it to a small cabin in the woods. Zack couldn’t see it, but the fact it was there caused his hopes to rise. Things seemed to be fitting into place, considering they were running on a hell of a lot of hunches.

Jordan led Zack into the woods behind the house, helping him find a spot where he couldn’t be seen before going back to where Simon, Quinten, and Ryan were. There, they made a game plan. Zack listened through his ear piece where he was lying on the ground behind a massive fallen tree, Shania at his side. She knew something was about to happen and practically buzzed with anticipation. Zack soothed her the best he could, readying her for the noise she was about to endure.

“Jordan and Ryan, go around the back. We’re going to wait for it to get a little darker, then flash grenades all the way. Quinten and I will take the front. We want everyone but Bonnie neutralized. Got it?” Simon waited for affirmation, then they scattered. Through the earpiece, Zack heard a lot of breathing as they got into position, and a pang of something hit his chest. He really wished he could do all that—sweep a house, aim a gun, save his fucking girl.

Zack used the minutes while they all waited for dusk to center himself and get out of his pitying frame of mind. Dude made an appearance, decked out in combat gear, ready for war. Like all the guys, Dude wore body armor, but instead of black fatigues, he wore a ghillie suit made to camouflage him in the mesquite brush surrounding them. The cigarette hanging out of his mouth was mostly ash, and the look on his face said he was ready to kill for Bonnie.

When Simon spoke again, Zack was ready.

On Simon’s count, all hell broke loose, and Zack started firing his shotgun into the air. Flash grenades lit up the night, the explosions of the bangs designed to disorient the enemy. The scent of magnesium filled the air, and Zack was suddenly dizzy, the loud blasts disrupting the fluid in his sensitive ears. He closed his eyes against the sudden flashes, hoping to not be too disoriented to do his piddly job.

He’d filled his pockets with shotgun shells so he could reload without looking. While the rest of the guys could break down and put back together their pistols in a matter of seconds, Zack was highly skilled with the mechanics of his shotgun, the only firearm he would allow himself to use. Sure, he carried around unloaded pistols for appearances, like when he’d gone in to “cover” Quinten getting Macy. But there was no way to aim a pistol with his lack of sight. He wasn’t supernatural like Stephen King’s Gunslinger, or extraordinary like Marvel Comics’ Daredevil.

But he could get pretty intimate with his shotgun. As he fired round after round into the air, the rest of the night slowly went silent as the guys ran through the house. Zack stopped firing just in time to hear Ryan say, “There’s nobody fucking here.”

“Was she even there?” Zack couldn’t stop the question, since he wasn’t there to see if he could smell her scent on anything for himself.

“Yeah, her shoes are in here. She’s been chained to this bed.” The sound of a metal utensil hitting a dish filtered through the earpiece. “They fed her at least.” Quinten’s voice sounded rough, and Zack knew his friend was hurting. They all were.

“Could she have escaped?” Zack’s voice sounded weird in his ringing ears. Anguish. He was clinging to hope, desperate for something.

“Yeah, if she had a key. Nothing’s forced.” Ryan’s voice sounded distant, like he was choosing his words carefully.

Zack heard the guys as they walked around the house, trying to keep the defeat out of their voices. In his mind, Dude made another appearance. This time, he was standing next to Zack in the woods, stalking off, then coming back and gesturing to Zack to follow before stalking off again. Shania made a noise and started tugging on Zack’s arm, using her mouth around his wrist without breaking the skin. He felt her tail wagging against his hip.

“What’s going on, girl?”

A low, moaning sound filtered through the chatter in his earpiece, and Zack yanked it out of his ear to listen.

Again. A low moan. A familiar low moan.

“Holy Christ. I think we found her. Get out here,” Zack said, crawling toward the noise, not trusting his balance on his feet. Shania led him, snuffling and licking Zack’s face periodically, but her enthusiasm was growing as they moved. Her tail wagged in his face, giving him a strong sense of direction. Against his will, Zack allowed the excitement to build inside him.

The sound was a distance away, but Zack stayed hunkered down on the unfamiliar terrain. Soon enough, the guys caught up to him, and Jordan helped him to his feet.

“Bonnie!” They all started yelling, then were silent as they listened for another moan.

Simon organized them once again. “Quinten, we may need your muscle. Ryan get back to the truck and bring the first aid. Jordan, go to the house and make sure no one sneaks up behind us. Zack, we’re going to need you to keep her calm if she’s conscious.”

We’re going to need you.

Shania let out a bark and ran ahead of them, stopping and barking periodically to make sure they followed. She hadn’t been trained in search and rescue, but she was a great dog, who knew Bonnie and Zack’s affection for her. He had trained her to be accustomed to the massive display of firepower they’d just experienced by taking her to the gun range and making sure she wouldn’t freak out. She’d always been an amazing creature, able to adapt to whatever Zack needed her for.

Right now, it seemed Shania knew he needed her to find Bonnie.

The woods were silent, except for the men’s movements and occasional yells. They were sticking rather close together, fanning out slightly. The moans had stopped, but Shania seemed to know where she was leading them, the urgency in her barks growing.

Zack just hoped his dog had the right scent and wasn’t leading them to a den of javelinas or something. Had Bonnie escaped and run blindly into the woods, so afraid of the danger she knew to run straight into the unknown?

He probably would have done the same.

Still, his heart pounded with the innate need for her to be okay, even though the moans he’d heard before said she was anything but fine. Bonnie was hurt out here, and they needed to find her.

Adrenaline coursed through Zack’s system, causing him to misstep more than once, but he simply pulled himself back up and continued trudging forward, guided by the noise of the men around him and Shania’s barks.

“Bonnie!” The panic in his voice could not be mistaken.

A weak “Here” met his ears, and he focused on it with laser intensity. She’d spoken. She was conscious. She was alive.

And close.

“Where are you, baby? Keep talking.” Zack didn’t want to trip over her in his haste, so he forced himself to slow down. Quinten and Simon were with him, but they weren’t talking, probably just as fearful for her safety as he was.

Another moan, almost underneath him, and a snuffling whine from Shania. Zack forced himself not to throw himself at his girl and sank to his knees, crawling forward. Simon and Quinten came up on his sides.

“She’s got some cuts and abrasions. Looks like a hog attack,” Simon’s voice was low and calm. Zack used his fingers to make sure she was whole. They skated over her body, feeling the warmth of blood in places.

“Bon-Bon, you’re going to be fine. I promise.”

“You came for me,” she whispered weakly.

Zack didn’t know who she was talking to, him or her brothers, but they were all there.

“Of course we came for you, Bonnie,” Simon spoke through a thick throat. The tone of his speech alarmed Zack, but he wouldn’t show it. No way. But without being able to see her, all he could feel was blood, and he was terrified by how things seemed.

Quinten had taken a step back and was speaking into his earpiece, giving Ryan directions on how to get back to them, and telling him to bring the collapsible back board.

That didn’t sound great.

Ignoring his surroundings, Zack focused on Bonnie, bending down low so his face was right above hers.

“Bon-Bon …” He didn’t know exactly what to say that wouldn’t scare the shit out of her. Or him. “How’s things?” Striving to keep things light, he cracked instead. Everything. His jokes, his voice, his insides.

But he had Bonnie again. Nothing could take that away from him. Except the gurgly noise when she breathed.

Zack laid down next to her in the cold dirt, breathing in her scent—warm, earthy, with the coppery tang of blood everywhere. He longed to ask her what happened, but he couldn’t. First off, he didn’t want her talking more than necessary, not with that noise when she breathed. Second, she needed to save her energy for getting better, healing from these injuries.

“Let’s talk about stuff. Well, not you,” he chuckled awkwardly. “You listen to me talk. When you get better, we’re going to go on all the dates. I’m going to take you fishing, like we used to, only grownup style.” He heard her smile, her lips parting around dried saliva and blood probably, the cracking skin making an audible noise. “You know, we’ll still wear bathing suits. I remember that red bikini you used to have. Do you still have it? Never mind. I’ll get you another one. But I’m better at rowing, and I have a friend who has a bigger boat we can use.” That friend was Simon, and his friend chuckled awkwardly at the tossed-out comment.

“Y’all can use it whenever you want.” That was as close to a blessing as they would probably get from Simon, and Zack gave the man a grateful smile.

“See? It’s a pretty swanky affair, with beds and stuff.” Zack waggled his eyebrows, hoping Bonnie’s eyes were open so she could see. Quinten let out a low huff of annoyance, but thankfully, didn’t kick Zack’s ass.

“Seen it,” she whispered.

“Oh, good. Then the grand tour won’t be necessary. Because I’ll actually need you to help me get around on it, or else we’ll spend the whole trip fishing me out of the water.” He chuckled lightly and heard her do something that sounded like a painful laugh. Regretting it, Zack sobered.

“Seriously, though. I want to date you. I want to live with you. You’re it, Bonnie. I have spent years trying to erase the guilt of what I did to you at your party. I tried it with other women, thinking I could eventually replace the self-loathing I felt from being a dick to you with self-loathing from being a dick to women in general. Like I could change my inner make-up to some sort of total douche or whatever, so the guilt would go away, but it never worked. It was all forced because I never saw myself as good enough for you. Every time I used a woman, it made me remember what I did to you. And I’m so damn sorry.” He bowed to her neck, where her scent was stronger. She was dressed in the same clothes she’d been wearing for a week, and the odor of stale sweat mingled with the smell of dried fear. It only made him love her more. “So damn sorry. You’re unbelievably strong, Bonnie, and I underestimated you. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

His voice broke again, but he didn’t care. Simon and Quinten were silent, watching them in the darkened woods.

Bonnie squeezed his hand where he was clutching it against her chest. “Shut up. Kiss me. Asshole.”

As gently as he could, Zack pressed his lips to hers. The warmth that spread through his body was relief, plain and simple. He wasn’t anywhere near close to making things up to her, but as long as she would be okay physically, she would be okay with him.

Bonnie whimpered as Zack kissed her, their lips melding against each other’s in a duel of loving complicity. Bonnie’s lips moved against his in a way that told him to stop talking and love her.

And that’s exactly what he intended to do.

A crashing through the brush had everyone on edge, until something broke into the clearing. Ryan’s voice broke in, presumably to calm Zack because he couldn’t see shit.

Together, they got Bonnie onto the stretcher, and with Zack holding her hand and Quinten and Ryan carrying the stretcher, they gingerly picked their way back to the house. It was a hike, but not as far as Zack thought it would be. He’d initially been about fifty feet past the tree line when they’d started their assault on the house. That’s where he’d first heard Bonnie. But they’d gone several hundred yards into the woods looking for her.

Still, that wasn’t far enough for her to have run. She’d either been attacked by the hog or whatever as soon as she got out there, or she’d been wandering around in circles before the attack.

Either scenario was terrifying.

Simon was clearly thinking the same thing.

“Bonnie? Any idea how long you were out there? Outside the house?” His voice was gentle as he walked on the other side of the stretcher. Zack wondered if he was holding her other hand.

“V let me out one evening, and I spent the night out there. I guess that was last night. So a night and a day? Not sure. Couldn’t find a road or water.”

That coincided with the tracker, and Zack wanted to know who the hell V was. But the details could wait. She’d wandered for almost twenty-four hours. That was enough to earn his undying respect, if she hadn’t had it already.

Soon enough, they were at the cabin, where the Explorer was parked. Again, Simon took control.

“Jordan and Ryan, stay here and call the cops. I’ll take her and Zack to the hospital. Quinten needs to ride along in case anything happens.”

“You got it, Sarge,” Ryan responded, alert and ready for action. Zack was glad he was being granted the ability to go with them. He realized then, Simon and Quinten were family, and they were allowing him the ride-along. Hopefully, that meant they thought of him as family, too.

He’d certainly been around long enough.

When Bonnie was loaded, a hand at his shoulder stopped him from climbing in immediately.

“A word,” Simon’s gruff voice spoke in his ear.

Zack faced his boss, his love’s eldest brother, the man who had tried to keep them apart to protect his sister.

“Yes, sir?”

“I see you care for her, Zack. I’m a little sorry for the way I’ve treated you in the past, but for fuck’s sake, the way you’ve been with women didn’t give me a hell of a lot of choice when it came to protecting Bonnie.” Zack nodded, understanding completely. He’d been an epic dick. “But I’ll tell you this now, and only once. If you hurt my baby sister, you’re a dead man. Got it?”

“Absolutely. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” And he wouldn’t. If he ever hurt Bonnie again, the way he’d hurt her before, he’d deserve to die.

The ride to the hospital was made in silence, everyone listening to Bonnie’s ragged, gurgly breathing with baited breath. Ryan had given her something for the pain and it seemed to have worked. She had settled down and was resting a bit while they made the obscenely long trek out of the middle of nowhere to the nearest hospital.

Of course, as soon as they got there, Bonnie was whisked away to some back room, where she probably underwent some type of examination and questioning. Zack didn’t know where and didn’t have the wherewithal to ask. All he knew was she was gone and he was stuck in an awkward silence with Simon and Quinten.

Eventually, as word spread, people started showing up. Deena Rae and Slade were first, Slade clapping Zack on the back in a brotherly gesture of solidarity, whispering in his ear, “I’m here if you need to talk, man.” Then came Hollerman and Evan, who had found nothing but the shell of the car they’d tracked. It had been abandoned in a rough neighborhood, Hinkins gone without a trace.

Hollerman and Simon went off to the side, talking in hushed tones. Zack assumed they were plotting something, since Jonas and Lawrence were still at large. It didn’t take long before the rest of the gang started showing up. First were Valerie and Paige, with Mia in tow. He wasn’t sure why Mia was here, since Jordan was still at the cabin in the boonies, but the others had apparently called her and she was here for support. Chicks were like that. Not necessary at first glance, but they inherently knew their mere presence was reassuring. Miriam and Jake, having called a sitter to come over for the baby, came in next. Krista showed up about an hour later, baby in tow. Zack guessed Ryan had called her and told her to come, but he really had no idea.

The women brought food, every one of them, filling the sorrow in the waiting room by filling bellies. Zack couldn’t eat, though; not until he knew if Bonnie would be okay. So he just listened as the others chowed down on sandwiches and chips, coffee, and cupcakes Krista had brought.

They’d been here for hours, and still nothing on Bonnie. Zack tried to nap but was uncomfortable in the foreign surroundings, not knowing if someone was about to sneak attack. Vulnerable, he kept himself close to his friends but stayed quiet, preferring to listen to their chatter.

Krista’s baby was sleeping in her arms while she sat next to Zack.

“How are you doing with all this?” Her voice was kind, and Zack appreciated it. He could smell the baby powder scent all new moms seemed to exude.

“How can I be doing? I’m relieved we found her, but now I don’t know if she’s going to be okay. It’s fucking killing me.” He kept his voice low, but the urgency wouldn’t be stifled. Thankfully, he didn’t wake the baby.

Krista’s voice softened. As the matriarch of the group, the longest-running female besides Miriam to be a part of the exclusive clique, she seemed to be brimming with words of wisdom.

“You guys have a knack for giving your girls what we need, even when we don’t understand it. Bonnie will be okay, I promise. It may take some time for her physically, maybe even longer for the mental stuff, but she has the best support system behind her. She’s got you and her brothers to take care of her. She’ll thrive under it, and before you know it, you’ll be back at my house, kicking my gnomes.”

Zack found himself smiling, vaguely. “I hate those fucking bastards,” he quipped, but wasn’t feeling it. But he knew if he didn’t, he would sink down into that foul mood he’d been in for months.

Zack had always been the funny guy. And Dude—his imaginary alter ego who always seemed to find some kind of kickass humor in almost every situation—helped with that. It dawned on Zack that Dude hadn’t been around since he’d found Bonnie again, coming back only to help him find her. He knew Dude was a defense mechanism for his blindness. When he’d started losing his sight, he’d created him to help himself cope. But as he thought back, Zack realized Dude had been scarce since that night at South by Southwest—until tonight.

Then again, his sense of humor had been almost non-existent lately, too. With all the shit with his dad, he hadn’t found much to smile about, even though that was his biggest defense mechanism.

Krista stood abruptly. “Here. I’ve got to pee. You don’t mind, do you?” She was practically dropping the baby in his lap, and Zack had no choice but to comply.

“Uh, I guess not.” With that, Krista was gone, and Zack was left holding a baby he couldn’t see. Awkwardly, he put her on his shoulder, like he assumed she’d been sleeping on Krista’s. The overwhelming scent of something sweet filled his nostrils. God, how innocent was this child? The scent could only be described as freshness, newness, and innocence. It was fabulous, and Zack caught himself inhaling deeply, desperate to fill his lungs with the sweet smell of baby.

He wanted kids. He wanted Bonnie’s kids. But that led to his greatest fear—the fear he rarely acknowledged to himself but never to others.

The fear of never being able to look into his child’s eyes, to know exactly what they looked like, to see their laughter, their tears. Of his baby, as well as their babies, inheriting this God-forsaken blindness. His throat thickened painfully, and Zack lowered his face to the child’s blanket and sniffed back tears.

God, he was fucking crying.

Slade and Deena Rae interrupted him before he started blubbering like an idiot.

“Give her to me before you soak her, you fucker.” Deena Rae’s voice contradicted her words. Rarely this soft and gentle, she reached for the bundle, which Zack willingly gave up to her.

“Watch your damn language, Deena Rae. You spend too much time with her, and her first words will be Hillbilly Thunder Cunt.” Zack was grateful for the diversion and smiled as he spoke the words softly. Deena Rae harrumphed, but it was soft and almost a laugh.

“Come on, man. Let’s go outside for some air.” Slade clearly understood Zack’s need let this shit out, just not in front of people. Zack reached out, and Slade put his hand on his shoulder, leading him past everyone and out the door. When they were alone, hopefully, Slade grated out in a husky voice, “I’m not much for showing emotion, but I get that sometimes it happens. Figured you might want to be away for a little bit.”

“Thanks,” Zack managed to choke out before he completely lost it. Every emotion—from waking up in a hospital bed learning he’d lost Bonnie, then finding her broken and bloody body, to smelling that damn baby and being reminded he’d never get to see his own child—flooded through him.

Everything came out in a long wail. It would have been embarrassing, but he couldn’t find it in him to give a shit. So what if he was being a pussy in front of the brother he didn’t know he had until a month ago? He was over it all.

“The thing is, I knew a time would come where I’d never be able to see her. Can you imagine? Knowing that and not being able to do anything to stop it? Wanting to see her one last time and being blocked at every turn?”

A voice stopped him from speaking more. Apparently, Quinten had walked out with them and Zack hadn’t even noticed.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was low and sincere. The fucker knew what he’d done to Zack by keeping Bonnie away from him. “I am.”

Zack turned to his friend. “I want to kick your ass so hard right now.” They all knew Quinten hadn’t been the only one to keep them apart; Zack’s own actions had done a superb job at that.

The three of them stood under a light in the lot of the hospital, and Zack watched Quinten’s massive shadow as it moved closer.

“Go ahead. Hit me. As much as you want. I probably deserve it.” Quinten had to know he’d had a hand in pushing Zack away from Bonnie.

Zack hit his friend in the gut as hard as he could. Quinten was ready for it, probably unconsciously tensing his muscles in preparation, but he didn’t react. He didn’t fight back.

“Again,” he gritted out.

Zack took a deep breath, filling his lungs with fortifying oxygen, willing it to his muscles. And then he surprised himself. Launching himself at Quinten, he embraced the giant in a bone-crushing hug. It wasn’t the back-slapping bro hug of their youth, it was a full-on I-love-you-man hug. Quinten stiffened under his arms, but eventually returned it, the two men gripping each other like they were each other’s’ life force.

“Boys,” Miriam tsked as she approached and Zack and Quinten flew apart, embarrassed at the display. “Y’all okay?”

“Yup. Go on back inside, Mir.” Quinten’s ragged voice made a slight pang of guilt slice up Zack’s spine. “I really am sorry. I didn’t realize how much you felt for her. I thought she was a game you were trying to play. I was trying to protect her.”

“I know you were, but it fucking sucked, Q. I wasn’t playing her. Not then, not now. She wouldn’t fucking listen to me then. You remember how she was? She thought she knew everything.”

“Duh, she’s still that way.”

“And I wouldn’t know that, now, would I?” Anger was rising again in Zack, but he held it in check. He’d made his point. They were past this.

“I get it. I was the asshole. I’ll do what I can for you guys to make it right. Swear.” Quinten’s shadow widened as he came closer, and then the shadow enveloped Zack in another hug.

Man, they just had all the fucking feels now, didn’t they?

It ended with a clap on the back, a painful one, reminding Zack Quinten could beat the shit out of him if he ever misstepped. And then he was gone.

“Dude, remind me not to piss you off,” Slade murmured. “Him, either. You hit him with a punch that would take me down, and he barely even flinched.”

Zack smiled ruefully. “He used to do that for a living of sorts.”

“Yeah, I know, but holy shit.” Silence, which was awkward, but Slade finally broke it with, “Are you good, man?”

“Yeah, I’m as good as I can be. Thanks.”

Slade wrapped an arm around Zack’s shoulder, leading him back toward the entrance. “Then let’s go get the girls, man.”

Inside, Quinten and Simon were head to head with Hollerman, whispering furiously. Zack joined them without invitation.

Without missing a beat, Simon included Zack. “She can’t go home. He knows where she lives now. Your place, too. Y’all could keep staying at that hotel, but I’d feel better if y’all got the hell out of Austin.”

Zack agreed. Jonas could find her in the hotel. They’d taken his plaything away, and he would want her back. “I could take her out of the country. Someplace like the Bahamas, Brazil, Paris …” His brain whirled with exotic locations, Bonnie in skimpy clothing, lots and lots of sex.

Quinten stopped him. “The senator has some pretty long feelers. We have to assume he would be waiting for you guys to leave the country. That’s traceable.”

“But does he still have the resources?” Zack mused. They’d gotten a new investigation opened into the Senator and his involvement with Macy’s abduction. Jonas too, since it was his club.

“I don’t want to risk it.”

An idea came to Zack, and he ran with it, enthusiasm building inside him at the prospects. “You douchebags just take care of Jonas and the senator. I’ll get her out of town as soon as she’s well enough to move. She’ll be safe with me.”