“Shadow!” Dean greeted me and pulled me into a hug.

Uncle Dean had called me “Shadow” since the first night he met me back in the alley of Van Doorn’s Bakery. I never minded the nickname, in fact, I looked at it as a good thing. The nickname that he gave me helped remind me that I was a part of the family…even when I felt like I had no place in it at all.

“Hey, Dean,” I said and hugged him back. “How was the U.S.?”

We pulled out of our greeting hug, but he kept his arm draped over my shoulder that was closest to him and curved his hand around my neck. He guided us toward the door that led to the back yard. As Dean opened the patio door with his free hand, I glanced in the kitchen and saw my dad reading a label on a bottle of wine. He looked up, and I waved at him. A big, genuine smile appeared on his face, and it made me feel better knowing that he was happy to see me.

“Great! It was great. We have lots to share at dinner. It’s good to see you, Wes,” Dean said as we stepped into the back yard and began walking along the path lined with paver stones that led to the woods. “How have you been doing the past few days?”

“Good, I think,” I said as I nodded while we shuffled along the path.

“Thom’s been telling me about the daily info you’ve been feeding him regarding the Olsens meetings. He said you’ve been doing a great job with your first role for the family.” Dean gave my shoulder a firm pat as I nodded. “So, she’s met with the Bakers and Smits already?” Dean asked.

“Yes. Chloe’s first meeting was with the Bakers, and the Smits meeting was yesterday. Today she’s meeting with the Heines family,” I reported.

“Yeah, Thom said that you had some additional info on Heines. Something that might be useful to us.”

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“That’s great, Wes. Shadow is coming through. I’m proud of you, I hope you know that.”

“I do, thank you,” I said and looked out on the horizon at the sun setting.

“Thom is proud of you, too, Wes.”

I nodded again and thought about asking Dean if he knew anything about my past, but Kyler called out to us for dinner.

“Uncle Dean! Wes! Dinner’s ready, mates!” Kyler yelled.

“I can’t wait to hear about the other info at dinner,” Dean said as we made our way back to the house.

Everyone took their seats and began piling food onto their plates while Thom spoke about how good it was to have everyone home and together for dinner again.

“There’s a lot of family business to discuss so let’s jump into it. Dean and Kyler, why don’t you guys start with your trip to the States,” Thom said.

Everyone gave their attention to Uncle Dean and Kyler as they told us about their trip.

“We met with a few of the Reznikov guys. They’re great guys and looking to get a leg up on the business not only in Boston but along the Eastern seaboard,” Dean began.

“Their challenge right now is that they don’t have a reliable supplier. So, even when they are able to land new customers, they have a poor chance of keeping them coming back. Again, because of the supplier,” Kyler explained.

Customers. For a brief moment, my mind drifted to Chloe explaining the difference between a “customer” and a “client.”

“Who are they using now?” Mason asked while chewing.

“Multiple suppliers. Two out of Canada, one out of Mexico and one more within the U.S.,” Dean replied.

Laughter broke out around the table from everyone but me. I was blind to why this was funny. Martin leaned closer and explained that suppliers in Canada make terrible ecstasy and most of the ones in Mexico are notorious for getting caught smuggling it into the U.S. And the one in the U.S. wasn’t near pure.

“We’re talking, like maybe a quarter of it is pure,” Martin said to me as he reached for more potatoes.

“Reznikov doesn’t want anyone coming back at them for cheap hits or potential deaths,” Dean suggested.

“And that’s what they risk each time they use their unreliable sources.” Kyler paused and took a sip from his glass. “Ecstasy is fucking huge over there now—”

“Kyler, watch your mouth at the table,” Thom interrupted.

“Sorry, Dad…so Ecstasy is growing by leaps and bounds over there, and they’re falling behind because of these unreliable suppliers. This is a huge opportunity for us to get our foot in the door over there.”

I started to think to myself about the business opportunities at hand for our family. Both the London market and U.S. market were right in front of us, we just needed to seize it.

“Did Reznikov say who else they were talking to?” Thom asked.

“A lot of people. The competition is heavy over there. They’re talking to a lot of suppliers,” Dean informed.

“Did you give them some tablets?” Mason asked.

“Of course. They called me this morning as we were checking out of the hotel and said they loved the tablets and wanted to know if we could guarantee that every tablet is that pure. I gave them our promise.”

“We talked with them yesterday about the lab facility. So, they know our lab is family owned and operated. They liked that idea,” Kyler said.

“Bottom line gentlemen, they’re looking to expand and keep customers. And without a solid supplier with a fantastic product, they’re stuck.”

Customers.

“Do you guys know what the difference between a ‘customer’ and a ‘client’ is?” I blurted out.

Everyone’s eyes were now on me, and Mason shook his head.

“What’s the difference, Shadow?” Dean played along and asked me.

“A ‘customer’ is a ‘one and done’ type of relationship. Like, you walk into a convenience market and buy a can of soup, or whatever. You may return because of good service, but most likely just for convenience. A ‘client’ is someone you build a relationship with over time. Through the excellent service that you provide them, they will learn that they can rely on you. Thus, the client relationship forms based on trust.”

Everyone was staring at me. I swallowed hard and looked down at my plate and then back up quickly. I felt like I had confused them and they hadn’t followed me. I pushed through and tried to explain it again.

“Think of it in terms of the bakery.” No one was eating right now, and everyone focused on me. “We have customers who come in and eat and leave. Some we never see again. But then we have people who come in every day. Sometimes they order tablets…sometimes they don’t. But it’s those repeat visits that are important. They trust us for something consistent that they’re not getting elsewhere. Either service, good coffee—”

“Or tablets…” Martin spoke up.

Yes! He was following me.

“Whatever it’s for, they’re our clients. They trust us and always know what they’re getting.”

Kyler nodded and then said he understood what I was saying. Dean and even Mason were nodding along. I was encouraged by their reaction so I continued with my point.

“The Reznikovs sound like they’re wanting to build clients, not customers. They want those who will return to them to buy and will always recommend them.”

Everyone broke out in some chatter, and I glanced at Thom. He was smiling and nodded at me when our eyes met. I looked down and started shoveling food into my mouth.

“Where’d you hear that, Shadow?” Dean asked.

I froze momentarily but tried to recover quickly. I shrugged and said that I saw it on a documentary on YouTube about business building.

“Dude, you’re such a dork,” Mason said and laughed while shaking his head.

I smiled and tilted my head to the side.

“Yeah, if you spend your downtime watching business documentaries, living with Martin isn’t having a good effect,” Kyler said.

We all laughed as Martin tried to defend himself. He held his hands up claiming innocence.

“What? It’s not my fault he’s a dork. I bring plenty of women home. He’s more than welcome to them in the morning,” Martin joked and winked at me as Kyler and Mason made more noise.

“I don’t want or need your ‘next day leftovers,’ man,” I teased back.

As Martin jostled my shoulders, I thought about Chloe. She made me happy. She made me feel something more than any other woman I’d ever been with. Martin held up his hands again and shook his head.

“I bring women home and make sure he’s all stocked up on condoms and tablets—”

“Shadow can’t take the tablets very much,” Mason announced.

Suddenly, I felt like the light-hearted jokes were turning into serious jabs. The table quieted down, and I went back to moving food around on my plate.

“Tablets make him sad for a few days.” I didn’t look up at Mason, but he kept going, mocking the way I come off of them. “Then he ends up down at the docks.”

I gently set my fork down and looked up at him as Thom scolded him.

“Enough, Mason. Everyone reacts differently to them.”

Mason and I glared at one another across the table as others around us tried to diffuse the tension.

“Thom is right, everyone reacts differently to the tablets. Don’t worry about a thing, Shadow,” Dean added.

“Yeah, mate. Forget it,” Martin said and nudged my elbow.

I let my eyes drift from Mason and looked down at my plate.

“Van Doorns don’t have problems or limitations with our tablets,” Mason jabbed again.

“Mason!” Thom’s booming voice drew everyone’s attention. “The last time I checked, Wesley’s last name was Van Doorn. Now knock this shit off at my goddamn family dinner table.”

Mason nodded at Thom and then he looked at me. He gave me a single nod as his apology. I could feel all eyes were on me now. I did the right thing and nodded too, accepting his non-verbal apology before I went back to pushing food around.

“Now, Dean and Kyler, what would our challenges be if we were to lock down a deal with them?”

“Customs. That’s our only obstacle,” Dean said.

As everyone began talking about issues with customs and potential ways around it, my head began swimming. Not on the topic of discussion, but on the prior one and things that were implied.

I wasn’t really part of this family. I wasn’t a Van Doorn.

I didn’t even know who the fuck I was. I had a fucking tattoo inked on my body that said who I was. But was that even real? Where did I come from?

Nothing that I ever did was enough for Mason. I tried so hard to earn his acceptance, but I think I was chasing the wind.

I faintly heard my name and looked up as I shook the fog from my mind.

“Are you with us now, Wes?” Thom asked.

“Yes, sorry,” I said, hoping that I hadn’t been too much of a distraction.

“Let’s shift our attention from the U.S. to what’s going on right here...the Olsen deal,” Thom suggested. “Wes has done a great job following Gareth’s daughter and letting us know which families she had meetings with.”

“Nice job, Shadow,” Dean said and clasped his hand down on my shoulder as Martin playfully punched my upper arm.

I met Mason’s glare as Thom continued. He must have hated that I was being congratulated for a good job.

“So she met with Baker, Smit, and Heines. Those are our direct competitors, gentlemen. Those are the families we need to undercut. I want this deal as their supplier,” Thom reminded everyone.

“Shadow, what else were you going to tell us?” Dean prompted.

“I think the Olsens have concerns over the Heines lab facility,” I began. “With lab concerns, I imagine there are presumptions that their product isn’t pure all of the time,” I announced.

The table was quiet, and no one moved. Thom finally leaned forward with his forehead creased.

“Say again? Are you telling me that the fifth, possibly fourth, family in Amsterdam isn’t pure all of the time?” Thom asked for clarification.

I nodded.

“How do you know, Wes?” Dean pressed.

I had to be careful now with what I revealed.

“I was sitting in the coffee shop this morning, and she came in and sat within earshot. She was on the phone with her father. I heard her tell him that she had heard their stuff wasn’t pure all of the time and that they had concerns over their lab,” I lied.

Technically, it wasn’t a complete lie. I had heard Chloe say this, but it was while we were tangled up in the sheets.

“Damn, what a sneaky son of a bitch Heines is,” Kyler said as he hit the table with his hand.

“Ky, you and Martin get a few people to buy and give you guys the tablets. Then take them to the lab and test them,” Thom instructed.

This sounded interesting and a chance for me to see something new. I spoke up, wanting to take part. I had only been to the lab a few times and saw how the tablets were made.

“Can I help?”

“I need you to continue to watch the woman until she leaves town,” Thom said.

I didn’t see the point and voiced it, even as out of line as it may have been.

“Why? What’s the point? We know which families she visited. We’re the last.”

“Shadow, we’re the last that we know of,” Dean pointed out. “Be prepared for the unexpected.”

All of my brothers chimed in supporting what Dean just said.

“Here, here,” Kyler said as he nodded.

“Exactly, mate!” Martin supported Dean.

Mason kept his cold eyes on me and jerked his head upward. “It’s a Van Doorn saying, Wes.”

“Yeah, our Uncle Bram used to always say that,” Kyler reminded me.

My brothers idolized Bram. I’d heard about their Uncle Bram for years. He ended up dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He killed himself. I remembered his death because the news came only a few days after I had moved into their home.

‘Be prepared for the unexpected’ was a common phrase of their late Uncle Bram. And it was obvious that it was very much supported by Bram’s nephews.

I looked at Thom as he directed me again to follow Chloe until she left town. I confirmed that I would and felt embarrassed that I had verbally challenged him at dinner. It wasn’t my intention to show disrespect.

Through the rest of dinner, I kept quiet and my head down. Thom, Dean, and Mason were very talkative about the Heines lab and obtaining more info. Everyone was excited about the new revelation about the Heines lab, and I received pats on the back from everyone...but Mason.

After dinner, I had planned on talking to Thom about the docks to see if he knew other information. But after my outburst challenging Thom’s initial direction and the back and forth jabs with Mason, I was mentally tired.

And I had an evening with Chloe ahead of me. So my chat with Thom would have to wait for another time.

Our family dinner meeting adjourned, and I walked out behind my brothers and alongside Thom. Martin leaned against the driver’s side of his car as he spoke with Kyler about their plan to get some tablets to be tested. Mason stood next to Kyler as they spoke.

“I’m proud of you, Wes. You’ve done a good job with tailing Olsen’s girl. And the news about the Heines lab could be huge for us. If they aren’t producing pure one-hundred percent of the time, this will have an impact on their business. And on ours, but in a positive way,” Thom said as we stood on the walkway between the house and where the cars were parked.

“I’m glad to help. I’ve wanted to help for so long,” I admitted.

“I know you have, Wes. The time had to be right. You were ready, Wes.”

He apparently wasn’t angry with me for my dinner comments so I decided to ask him if there was a time this week when we could talk.

“Are you really busy this week?”

“I have some things going on and remember the family is meeting with Chloe Olsen tomorrow, but I always have time for you Wes.”

I nodded and looked over my shoulder at the guys still talking by the cars.

“What’s going on, Wesley?”

“I just have something to talk to you about. It’s not urgent. We can wait until after the family meets with the Olsens.”

Thom nodded and then promised that we’d get together. After Thom went inside, I joined my brothers by the cars.

“Keep at it, Shadow. You’re making the family proud, man,” Kyler said as he thumped me on the shoulder and started to walk towards his car.

Mason leaned against the passenger side of Martin’s car, blocking me from getting in. Suddenly he snapped his fingers and called over to Kyler.

“I’ve got it! This just came to me!” Mason announced.

Kyler walked back over to us, and we waited for Mason to continue.

“The customs issue. I know how we can overcome it.”

“How, mate?” Martin inquired.

“We make stacks of tablets wrapped in parchment and wax paper, then put them inside condoms and shove them up Wesley’s ass!” Mason laughed.

“Man, whatever,” Kyler sighed and shook his head at Mason’s jab at me.

“Knock it off, Mason,” Martin said reached over the roof of his car to push Mason away from the car.

“What? Martin, you were the one who said you bring women home and little Shadow isn’t interested. So, I thought that maybe he’s into things up his ass and that he could help the family out.” Mason could hardly talk due to his laughter.

My face burned with embarrassment again. I was sick of this shit.

“Fuck you, Mason,” I said.

Mason pushed himself away from the car and shoved me, knocking me off balance. I caught my footing and stood up straight as he stalked toward me.

“What did you say, Wesley fucking Berlin?” Mason yelled.

I didn’t flinch, and I didn’t move from the spot that I stood on. Kyler and Martin were jogging over to try and calm things down. This had gone on for years, and I was tired of it. I was at my snapping point, and it was evident Mason was too. His use of “Berlin” instead of “Van Doorn” proved that.

“I said, ‘fuck you,’ Mason. I’ve been on the receiving end of your shit for years, and I’m sick of it. I haven’t done a goddamn thing to you, and you treat me like the enemy. My last name is Van Doorn, not Berlin. I haven’t been ‘Berlin’ since my teens.”

Mason grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me closer to him then punched me in the stomach. I doubled over while I heard Martin and Kyler yelling at Mason.

“I treat you like the trash you are, Berlin. You’ll never be a Van Doorn.”

I stood upright after I caught my breath.

“I’ve done nothing but be supportive and thankful for this family. I’ve never done anything against you!” I yelled.

Mason pulled out of Kyler’s grip and charged at me, knocking me to the grass. He punched me in the chest, and as I shoved him off of me, he slapped me on the side of my head.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Mason?” I reached for the side of my head while Kyler pulled at Mason.

“Come on, Wes! Let’s go! Fight back!” Mason hollered as he was pulled off of me.

I quickly stood and brushed myself off.

“Come on, Wesley, I know you know how to fight.” Mason was in Kyler’s grip. I guess Martin had gone inside to get Thom and Dean and they were all heading over. Shit. “You know how to fight. Why won’t you hit me back, Shadow? Show me what they taught you down on the docks,” he snarled.

“Mason! Knock it off, man!” Kyler stood between Mason and me and tried to push him back toward the house.

“You were a little fighter, weren’t you…WB6?”

I really couldn’t even stand to be around him.

“Mason!” Thom yelled and grabbed him by his arms.

“Why won’t you fight me? Are you afraid it’ll remind you of your time on the docks?”

I turned and started to walk towards Martin’s car.

“Coward!” he yelled.

I stopped and turned to face him. Thom, Dean, and Kyler were pulling Mason toward the house. I walked over to them and looked Mason in the eye and told him that I wasn’t a coward.

“Then why wouldn’t you fight?” he asked.

“I hate fighting! Kids died fighting on the docks! I let them fight me when we had to. I never hit one of them. I made it look like I was fighting back! I never fought any of my brothers on the docks…and I’m not going to start fighting brothers now either.”

“You’re no Van Doorn, Wesley. You’ll never be my brother.”

“That is enough, Mason. What is wrong with you?” Thom asked as they went into the house.

Martin came over and brushed off the back of my shirt. I flinched as he hit a sore spot on my back.

“Shit. Sorry, mate,” Martin said as he carefully straightened my shirt in the back. “I think he’s high, Wes. Too many tablets.”

I nodded and turned to head back toward Martin’s car.

“Wes!” Thom came out of the house and over to us. “I’m sorry about Mason. I really don’t know what’s gotten into him. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. He just pissed me off.”

“Mason could use a dose of your maturity level. After his display of a lack of maturity tonight, I’m having second thoughts about him meeting with Chloe Olsen tomorrow,” Thom said.

“He was going to meet with her?” I couldn’t hide my shock. “If this is such an important first meeting, why would you send Mason?”

“Mason was going to accompany Dean. He’s next in line after Dean. By age, anyways. So, he was going to accompany him.”

I nodded and looked away. Of course, that’s how this sort of thing went. Initial meetings were handled by Dean and typically Mason. I just thought something of this magnitude would have been different. And Chloe deserved someone better than Mason.

“Would you like to take his place, Wesley?” Thom asked.

I was shocked and stunned that Thom had offered me this opportunity. And I would have jumped at it if it hadn’t been with Chloe. She’d recognize me and realize I had been withholding information from her. There’d never be a chance for me with her. I mean, there really wasn’t anyways, but that would surely sever any chances. Not only would my chance be gone, but the chance for my family to do business with the Olsens in London would also go up in smoke.

“Me?”

“Yes, Wesley. You can go and watch. You can learn and take everything in.”

“I…wouldn’t feel right about it. Kyler and Martin are next, before me. If ever, me.”

Thom put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes.

“You are my son, too. You may be the youngest and had a different last name for a little while, but you are a Van Doorn. But I’m not going to push you into this. Your progression will happen naturally. I’ll send Kyler with Dean.”

Relieved, I nodded. It was honestly the right thing to do. Kyler was next in line rank wise, and he should be the one to go.

“You and I will get together this week, and we’ll talk about whatever is on your mind, Wes, okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Martin and I headed to his car to begin our drive home. It was quiet until we reached the halfway point.

“I don’t know how you managed to not pound the shit out of him, mate.” Martin shook his head. “Seriously, Wes. He’s been a dick for years. You had the chance to take a swing at him in defense. But you didn’t.”

“Nope.”

“Why, mate?”

I sighed and turned my head to look out of the side window and tried not to let my head run off to the docks.

“You know how I feel about fighting, Martin.”

“I know, Wes. But if you ever had to defend yourself—”

“Don’t worry. If I had to, I could.”

I think Martin picked up on my tone. I didn’t want to talk about this. My head was already a mess, and I needed to sort it out quickly before seeing Chloe again. As soon as we got to our apartment, I raced inside and took a quick shower since I had been rolling in the damn grass.

I grabbed a few tablets and put them in the tiny parchment envelope before I left my room. With my head as foggy as it was, it wouldn’t bother me at all if she didn’t want to take them tonight.

At this point, I didn’t even care if we fucked. I just wanted to be with her.

“Heading out, mate?”

Martin was in the kitchen when I walked out of my room to the main room.

“Yeah. My night shift of watching Chloe Olsen begins.”

“Alright, man. Take it easy,” Martin said as I headed to the door. “You’ve got the best task out of all of us, mate.” I turned to look at him, then he said, “Following the sexy ass from London. Chloe’s hot as fuck.”

I smirked and headed out the door. I felt as though I needed constant movement right now so instead of the elevator I took the stairs. I made my way on foot to Chloe’s hotel and used the time it would take to walk to clear my head.

Martin was right though…I had the best task of following Chloe. But now I was running into a problem. My head and heart were both focused on two separate things: one focused on Chloe while the other focused on my family.

I wanted both and was trying to figure out a way for this to be possible.