Chapter 21
EVIE
“You wanna go back to the party?” Rhett asks.
I pull my face free from his hands and shake my head.
“No, I’m just going to go to sleep,” I whisper as I walk to the bathroom for some toilet paper. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and blow my nose before heading back to the room.
“Can I stay with you?” Rhett asks.
I sit down on the bed and think about what he just asked me. Part of me wants to put as much distance as possible between us so that Rhett will never be able to hurt me like he did tonight. But then there’s my heart, my foolish, forgiving heart that loves Rhett.
With my mind screeching no and my heart yelling yes, I end up nodding.
I get up and pull the covers back. I usually sleep in my boyshorts and tank top but seeing as Rhett is spending the night, I keep my sweatpants on.
I pull the t-shirt off and duck under the covers.
Rhett switches the light off, and I watch his profile as he pulls his shirt over his head. When he steps out of his jeans, I divert my eyes even though I can’t see much in the dark.
He climbs into bed, and when he reaches for me, I let him pull me to his side. I rest my cheek on the warm skin over his heart and wrap an arm around his waist.
His one hand disappears into my hair, and I’m not sure what he’s doing until he unties it.
“That’s better.” His voice is a low rumble in the dark.
We lie in silence for a couple of minutes, then Rhett asks, “Don’t you wonder about your biological parents?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “They didn’t want me.”
He presses his lips to my forehead, and keeping them there, he whispers, “I want you.”
I smile into the dark and wrap my arm tighter around Rhett.
∞∞∞
(Two years later…)
Every time I say that I can’t handle anymore, the universe takes it as a dare.
A week ago I walked in on Rhett having sex. I don’t know which part of the whole painful experience hurt most. Seeing him naked with another girl, or the fact that she has red hair like me.
It’s no secret that if it has a pulse, Rhett will sleep with it. But actually seeing him thrusting into another girl… that just about killed me.
Even though Rhett tells me often that he loves me, I’ve only said the words to him twice. The first time was the year we met, and I meant it in a friends kind of way. The second time was last year, but that time I meant that I loved him with all my heart.
Rhett says he doesn’t see anything more than friendship between us, but then he holds me as if he’s scared I’ll vanish before his eyes. He looks at me as if I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.
Sometimes he even flirts with me, but nothing ever comes from it.
“It’s time for me to let you go,” I whisper to the dark. I’m only hurting myself by staying here and holding onto a hope that will never materialize into something more.
I can’t be around Rhett without it hurting. Every day my heart is crushed, and it’s becoming an endless cycle.
I glance back at the cab that’s waiting to take me to the bus station and take a deep breath before I walk to the front door.
Usually, I just walk inside, but tonight I knock on the door.
I hear laughter inside, and when Rhett opens the door, and he sees it’s me, he frowns.
“Why are you knocking? Come in.”
I take a few steps backward and shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket.
Rhett tilts his head to the side, and he takes a step towards me, which only makes me take another one backward. I need to keep the space between us.
I force my eyes to stay locked with his, as I say the words I’ve repeated over and over to myself the past week.
“I want you to know how thankful I am for everything you’ve done for me. I’ll never forget it.”
The spit in my mouth thickens, and I swallow hard.
The questioning look on Rhett’s face turns to shock as he catches on to what I’m doing.
My heartbeat speeds up until it’s slamming against my ribs, trying to free itself from my body so it can stay behind with Rhett.
“I’m leaving. I’ve come to say goodbye,” I whisper, unable to say the words much louder.
“You’re leaving,” he breathes. His face turns hard, and it looks as if it has been chiseled out of stone. “Why?”
I owe him honesty. It’s the least I can do after everything he’s done for me.
“Loving you hurts too much. Seeing you with other women and knowing they’re getting the one thing I want most, is killing me. I’m in love with you, Rhett. I want it all. I want you, and I’m not prepared to share you with anyone else. But I know you don’t feel that way about me. I have to leave.”
Pain flashes across his face, and I hate that I’m hurting him. Because I’m a selfish coward, I’m running away. It’s what I do best.
Before I can lose my nerve, I dart forward and give him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. He’s so stunned that I manage to pull away before he can take hold of me.
“I love you, Rhett Daniels. You’ll always be my hero,” I choke the words out before I turn around and run for the cab.
“Evie!” He yells at me.
I climb into the back of the cab as fast as I can, and scream, “Go! Drive!”
The cab starts to pull away, and I look back to Rhett as he comes running towards us. I can’t hold the tears back any longer, and I let them fall as I place my hand flat against the window.
“I love you so much,” I whisper as I watch him stop in the middle of the road. His hands fly to the back of his head, and the look on his face is pure devastation.
“It’s for the best, Evie,” I whisper to myself, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand.
The ride to the bus station is a blur of heartache. I somehow manage to pay the right fee for both the cab and the bus ticked when I get to the booth. I pick a random destination, Los Angeles. I’ve read the weather is perfect there.
The thirty minutes I spend waiting for the bus, I keep glancing around, scared that Rhett will show up and convince me to stay. It wouldn’t take much effort on his part.
When it comes to Rhett, it’s so easy to forgive him.
But I have to do this for me.