Hey, you here?” I called out my greeting to a silent apartment after removing my shoes and hanging my keys by the door. “Braden?” Huh. Weird to come home and not find him here, but also good. It meant he’d left the apartment today.

I walked into the living room, rolling my eyes immediately at the gamer’s nest that greeted me. The coffee table was cluttered with mess like food wrappers, soda cans, an Xbox controller and Braden’s headset.

The TV screen displayed Braden’s Xbox account with a game currently downloading. The status bar showed the progress, stretched across the bottom of the screen beneath a graphic of a large bear and a sleek jaguar facing down a snarling pack of wolves. I had to admit, it looked kinda cool.

Shaking my head, I moved across the room and began clearing away the mess. I had all the trash thrown away, the coffee table wiped down, and was cleaning his controller when the front door banged shut and the sound of Braden’s keys dropping on the counter echoed through the room.

“Abroha, bro-bro,” Braden sing-songed as he dropped onto the couch beside me.

“Bro-bro? Seriously?” I laughed. “Because a single bro isn’t enough to describe me? Is that your way of saying I’m extra or something?”

“Dude. A bro-bro is a special, super-close-bro, you should know that. Are you not up on your bro-isms? Do you need me to download you in the bro-code?”

I couldn’t help but grin at the serious look on his face. “I’m curious as to how many times or ways you can say bro, to be honest. You’re like a brobot or something.”

“Nice one, now you’re feeling the brojo I’m throwing. So tell me, my sweet little bromega, what are you doing home?”

“Bromega? I... yeah, no... I can’t with that one,” I was fighting back a laugh. “I got home about twenty minutes ago. They sent me home because I was puking again.”

Braden’s eyes grew serious. “You should see a doctor, Greg. You’ve been barfing every morning for over a week, and now it’s affecting you at work too? No, man. This is getting past it’s just a stomach bug and moving into the you’re scaring me zone.”

I reached over and covered his hand in a rare show of affection. We’d been having our non-relationshippy bromance thing for about six weeks now, but affection was still very much a no-go. As long as I kept it brodacious and brotastic, things were chill.

Honestly, I don’t know if Braden was still against pushing for more, but he hadn’t made any signs of wanting it, so I sure as fuck wasn’t.

“I’m not your mom, Braden. This isn’t stomach cancer, trust me. If anything, it’s an ulcer from being stressed out all the damn time. I’m not going to die on you, bro.”

Braden surprised me by turning his hand over under my palm and threading our fingers together. “I know that’s true in my head, but my heart says please just get it checked, okay? And for what it’s worth, you’re a liar. You will die on me someday, or I will you, because death is part of life. But if we could delay that by several decades, I’d be cool with it.”

I tilted my head and stuck out my tongue. “Fine. I’ll go to the doctor like good little bromega. Now, can we please change the subject, because I’m already feeling better. I think my boss overreacted, honestly. Tell me what happened to make you actually leave the apartment and go out into the world while your game was downloading.”

“Fuck off. I leave the house sometimes,” he laughed, waving a hand. “It’s no biggie. I’ve been checking out the Slow Grind lately. They have good coffee, great pastries, and a chill atmosphere with like, board games and shit. You should come with me sometime. I made this new friend today... a cool kid named Shamie. No worries... you’re still my broriginal bromie though. I was just having fun hanging with the dude. I hope you know you’re the only one I want to be brosexual with. He likes to play Yahtzee, of all things. Oh, and check this out! When I left today? I found this cool gold coin outside the shop! Hold on, I’ll show you.”

I tuned out somewhere in there, only halfway listening to him talk about this Jamie guy or whatever his name was... the whole puking thing had me more concerned than I wanted to admit. I honestly didn’t think I had stomach cancer like his mom died from, but I didn’t think it was an ulcer either.

What if I had some weird disease? Or some shitty illness where I’d have to give up bacon or something. I’d never been comfortable around doctors after a childhood spent going from one disease to the next. Seriously. Who get mumps anymore? My parents used to call me bird boy because the family joke was that I was their little canary in the coal mine.

“Are you listening, Greg? Or am I putting you to sleep? Sorry if I’m rambling... it’s just so fucking cool to have you home for a change, even if it is for such a shitty reason.”

I looked over at Braden and smiled weakly. “You’re fine, bro. I was just listening. By the way, kudos on getting out and meeting people in real life. I’m not threatened by you hanging out with other people, B. It’s not like I’m your boyfriend, right? We’re just... what? Bros being bros? A pair of bromosexual buds? I have no right to get upset, but for the record—I’m not.”

Braden flushed slightly, looking down at our joined hands before nodding. “I-I just want you to know that you’re my number one bro, though. Seriously. We may not be snogging left and right, as my Gran would say, but you’re the most important person in my life. I don’t want to ever lose you as my best friend. I screw everything up, you know that... but I’m trying not to screw things up with us.”

“Dude,” I grinned brightly. “You’re not going to ruin anything between us, I won’t let you. Besides, you’re wrong about you screwing shit up... so quit talking about my best bro that way. It pisses me off. Now listen, this conversation is getting heavy and I’m fucking hungry. Why don’t you order some pizza and thrown on some porn for us to watch while I go take a quick shower?”

“That sounds brotastic, Greg.” He said, pulling out his phone. I gave his hand a squeeze and rose to go take that shower. I was halfway tempted to invite him to join me, but that might be too coupley for what we had going.

After turning on the taps to the hottest water I could handle, I quickly stripped and got in. The bathroom was already fogging from steam, just the way I liked it.

The hot water pounding on my neck and shoulders felt so good, I almost lost track of the fact that this was meant to be a fast shower. It was only when Braden yelled down the hall that our pizza was here that I got my ass in gear.

I got out and toweled off before rubbing my hair dry. I started to reach for another towel but changed my mind at the last second. Maybe it was time for me to be a little more broactive in this brolationship.

Braden had paper plates, napkins, and surprisingly, glasses of my fruit infused water waiting on the coffee table with the pizza when I came in the room.

I ignored his roving eyes and casually took a seat on the couch beside him, curling a leg beneath me. “Oh, cool... pepperoni and pineapple. You remembered,” I said as I took a piece of pizza from the box and slid it onto my plate.

“Of course, I did,” he said after a long moment spent staring at my naked body. “Do you really think I don’t know what you like?”

“Hmm. I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I like,” I winked as I took a slow bite of pizza. Braden’s eyes followed my every movement before he visibly shook himself and reached for his own slice.

“So, is this a new thing we’re trying? Or did you just want to air dry?” He finally asked a moment later, right before he took a big bite of pizza. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m down with us freeballing it around here. It’s just not your usual style.”

I shrugged. “I decided it would be bromazing to let it all hang out for a change like a real brohemian. I figured you’d either sit there and enjoy the view, or you’d strip down and join me. Whatever works, you know?”

After he’d inhaled his pizza slice, Braden stood and stripped. It was cute to see him pause to neatly fold and stack his clothes off to the side for my sake before he took his seat again.

“So,” he asked after we both sat quietly eating for a few minutes. “Should I start the movie? I picked Omega and the Beast for tonight’s viewing pleasure. Spoiler alert, the beast is the alpha’s bronormous slab of manmeat.”

“Manmeat?” I snickered and waved my half eaten pizza at that TV. “Just put it on. I’m pretty sure I can always mute the sound and watch the sex if it’s too lame.”

If I hadn’t already been full halfway through my third slice, I would’ve been done anyway after listening to the first five minutes or so of the film’s ridiculous attempt at dialogue.

“Dude. Did the alpha seriously refer to breeding the omega and filling that ass with baby batter?” I was trying not to laugh, in case Braden was actually enjoying this shit.

I should’ve known better because he immediately joked back. “Yeah, but only after filling him with his mansicle. Don’t forget the might alpha cock, bro.”

“Seriously,” I shook my head. “The writer’s must’ve been high while writing that shit. It was the only possible excuse.

I looked over at Braden, even though he was also chuckling at the dialogue, he was also interested in the action on screen.

He sat back eating a slice of pizza with one hand, while slowly stroking his cock with the other. While I watched, I slowly began to slide my fist along my own length. Within a few movement, I’d coordinated my rhythm to his until we were pumping in sync.

Once he’d finished his pizza, Braden turned his attention to me, chewing his lip while he watched me matching his movements. Tug, tug, then a slight twist at the head on every third stroke.

Tug, tug, twist.

Tug, tug, twist.

He eyes moved to mine, his voice raspy as he spoke. “Sit on my lap? Fuck this movie, it’s lame anyway.”

Without missing a stroke, I rose and moved over to straddle his legs. We didn’t do more than continue to jerk off separately at first, then Braden reached out and pushed our cocks together. His slightly larger hand was the perfect size to jerk us together.

My entire body lit up from within as frissons of fire danced along my spine. I was so close... almost there. Judging Braden’s fully blown pupils and panting gasps, he wasn’t far away either. Precum poured freely from both of our tips, both of us grunting at this point.

Without any thought, I leaned toward Braden...

I froze halfway when I realized what I was doing—until I realized he’d done the same. We were both leaned forward, so close our breaths were mixing, yet neither of us seemed to know what to do now. Then he moved.

Quick as a whip, Braden closed the distance and rubbed our noses together in a bunny kiss. As soon as our noses touched, my balls drew up and I spurted cum over Braden’s fist. Breathless, I touched my forehead to his while my hips jerked of their own volition as I rode out my orgasm.

It took me a moment to realize the heated cream coating my cock’s head wasn’t my own, but Braden’s. He’d come at the same time I had.

Pulling back, I smiled into his eyes and said the first nonsense that came to mind. “That was Brofuckingdacious.”

* * *

I was still thinking about that oddly tender moment the next night when I was back at work. The night went smoothly for once, and I was cleaning up to go home when Seamus appeared out of nowhere on the same bar stool he’d sat on the night I’d saved him.

Seriously. One moment the bar was empty, and I was alone doing cleanup. I’d bent to dump the leftover nuts into the trash, and when I stood, he was sitting there quietly watching me with that goofy grin.

“Howya, lad? I thought I’d drop in fer a bit o’ craic while ya work, aye?” His infectious smile made it impossible for me to feel put out by his surprise appearance.

“Hey, Seamus! Want something to drink? I’m almost done, but I can spare a drink. You must have worked up a thirst dancing tonight.”

“Aye, tis thirsty work, that’s no lie. Sure and I wouldn’t be mindin’ a bit o’ that juice ya got there.”

I followed his eyes to the half-full pint of orange juice I’d been planning to toss since it expired tomorrow. Perfect, now it wouldn’t be wasted.

After I’d poured us each a glass, I moved over to the counter to join him.

“Sláinte,” Seamus said as he knocked his glass to mine before taking a drink.

“So, how’s it been going, Seamus? Anything new and exciting?” I swallowed down the juice in one gulp, not having realized how thirsty I was. I put the glass in the dirty bin, then grabbed my mop to work while we visited.

“Tis I should be askin’ you that, lad. Ya seem ta be in high spirits, what’s the story?”

I thought about it for a second. Was I in a good mood? Yeah, probably.

“Hmm. Maybe it’s because things have been going good with my roommate. He actually showered and left the house yesterday to go to a local coffee house to play board games and hang out with real people instead of staying shut up inside playing Xbox.”

“Bloody hell, what’s he do fer work if’n he lives like that? Ya might wanna get yerself a new roomie if the dodgy bugger only sits about playin’ games. Aye, that’s bollocks, mate. He sounds like a right lazy sod ta me.”

I’m not sure why, but I immediately felt defensive at Seamus’ words. As I rushed to explain, a feeling of pride for Braden filled my chest.

“No, it’s not like that. Really. Braden is a good guy, he’s just different from you and me. He’s not lazy, he simply has a more relaxed way of living his life. And good for him, you know? He pays his bills through his gaming, and has never once been late with his share of the rent or needed help from me financially. Basically, he’s self-employed and one of a kind.”

“Aye, if ya say so. Hmm. Maybe ya outta snatch him up then, if he’s such a good guy.”

I turned to explain to him that it wasn’t like that with Braden, but once again, the bar stool was empty. I sighed at his weird manners, and walked over to collect his empty glass.

Interesting. He’d left another gold coin behind. Okay. I really needed to talk to that kid about his money habits. And find out why he was cage dancing if he owned gold coins. I shrugged and got back to work. Not my circus, not my monkeys. And if he wanted to tip me gold coins, then screw it... I’d take them.