***
“Rafting?” Abby gives me a look of horror as I hand her the paddle. “How exactly is this fun or relaxing?”
Right now, we’re on a rented orange raft in the river, our yellow life vests on.
“Come on.” I start paddling. “Where is your sense of adventure?”
She looks around anxiously. “Some people die while doing this. You know that, right?”
“More people die while driving their cars,” I point out.
Abby sighs. “Just promise me there are no alligators, sharks, or snakes in here.”
“We’re not in the Amazon, Abby.”
“Just promise me.”
“I promise,” I assure her.
“And just… tell me what to do.”
“Well, you can start by rowing.”
She reluctantly does that, dipping her paddle in the water and moving it forward and back.
“That’s it.” I smile encouragingly. “You’re doing great.”
She gives me a look of doubt. “Am I?”
I nod as I lean forward, touching her knee. “Hey, don’t worry. This river isn’t rough. It’s fine even for beginners. That’s why I brought you here.”
She still doesn’t look convinced.
“And I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” I go on. “You trust me, right?”
Abby gives another sigh. “I guess I’ll have to.”
I smile.
She frowns. “Hey, you’re slacking off.”
“Sorry.”
I continue rowing, guiding the boat along as the river becomes narrower. I still can’t stop staring at her every now and then, though, watching her features as they visibly relax, admiring the way she looks in her life vest, blue shirt, and black shorts, her hair in a loose braid with some tendrils floating in the breeze.
“You’re staring at me again,” Abby says, noticing it.
“Guilty,” I admit with a grin. “I can’t help it. You just look amazing.”
She snorts. “I’m pretty sure I look my least amazing right now.”
“Not at all. You look… like you’re not trying to hide or be something you’re not, just like you were at that party.”
She looks surprised. “So, you noticed what I was trying to do, huh?”
I nod. “Is there a reason for it?”
“There is, actually.” Abby takes a deep breath as she looks into the distance. “So, I told you my mama and I left the Philippines when I was eight, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, when we came here and I started going to school, I became immediately aware that I was different. I didn’t have pale skin or pale hair or blue eyes. I spoke English but it didn’t sound the same.”
“It takes some time to get the accent.”
“So, anyway, I had a hard time fitting in and some of my classmates picked on me.”
“You were bullied?”
“Yeah.” She looks at me. “Did you know that Asians are the ones who get bullied most in school?”
“I didn’t know that,” I admit. “I thought it was only in the movies.”
“Well, it’s real,” Abby tells me, glancing away. “And it was… bad.”
I frown, imagining her being called names by a bunch of giggling kids in the school lawn, having her things shoved down the toilet or being tripped on purpose in the hallway.
“Is that why you hate being Filipino?”
She nods. “When I changed schools, I told myself I would do everything I could not to stick out. I would speak like the other kids did. I would dress like them. I wouldn’t do too well in my tests.”
“You purposely held back.”
“I just wanted to fit in, to belong. You know, become one of the herd. When I got to high school, I dyed my hair. It doesn’t matter, though. Some people still found me different. No matter how hard I tried, I was still a Filipino, after all.”
I shake my head. “It shouldn’t have mattered.”
“But it did. Even when I was applying for work, it did.”
“At least, it didn’t for Nathan.”
Now that I can say Abby is mine, it no longer bothers me to talk about him. It feels silly, actually, that it ever did. He is my friend, after all.
“Yeah.” She nods, smiling. “But I never really got over the stigma. I’d try to look boring so that no one would pay attention to me. I tried my best to hide my ethnicity.”
“Yet, you caught my attention,” I point out. “And everyone else’s at that party.”
“Yeah, that was your fault.” She glances at me. “I was trying to prove that you couldn’t mess with me.” She lets out a deep breath. “Yet, you still did.”
“I promise I’m not messing with you.” I reach for her hand. “And you know what? I promise I’m not going to let anyone else do that, either.”
I touch her cheek. “You don’t have to hide anymore, Abby.”
She stops paddling, placing her hand over mine. “Thanks, Grant. You know, I do miss the Philippines sometimes, and I do think you’re right. I should embrace who I am and start holding my head up high.”
I lift her chin. “That’s my girl.”
I lean over, kissing her. I stop, though, as I realize the raft is wobbling. I adjust, looking ahead.
“Here come the rapids,” I warn, quickly reaching for my paddle with both hands.
“I thought you said there weren’t any.” Abby starts to paddle frantically as well.
“I said this river is safe enough for beginners. I didn’t say there wouldn’t be any rapids.”
“Shit. You should have told me earlier.”
“It’s fine,” I assure her. “You’ll be fine. Trust me. Just row.”
“You row.”
I do that, doing my best to steer the raft away from the rocks and down the slopes. After a few minutes, we make it past. I let go of the breath I’m holding, looking at Abby. She’s all wet just like me, but to my surprise, she’s smiling.
“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” I ask her.
Abby nods. “Yeah. I can’t say that was relaxing but yeah, it was kind of fun. Like a water ride at an amusement park but more thrilling.”
I lift my hand to give her a high-five. “Good job.”
Now that the water is running smoothly again, I continue kissing her, more passionately with the adrenaline still pumping through my veins. I must have been too passionate, though, because I lose my balance and Abby and I both fall out of the raft.
“Fuck,” I curse, wiping my face then quickly going over to her. “Sorry about that.”
Abby shakes her head. “It’s okay. We were already wet anyway. And you know what? I kind of miss swimming in the river.”
“You used to swim in the river?” My eyes grow wide.
What with all the protests she was making earlier, I wouldn’t have guessed.
“Yeah. Just a small river, though.” She leans back, immersing her hair in the water as she floats on the surface. “Now, this is relaxing.”
She closes her eyes, and I smile.
Seriously, Abby is one heck of a woman.
“You never fail to surprise me, do you? What else don’t I know about you?”