Chapter 35
The silence of the apartment was only broken by the ticking of the wall clock. I stood there stunned as a flurry of emotions battered my insides.
Tick.
He’s gone. I’d finally run him off for good.
Tick.
If what I wanted was for him to leave why does it feel like my soul left with him?
Tick.
I struggled to breathe as my lungs constricted. Heart thumping wildly, and I gasped for air.
Tick.
My nose burned as tears formed in my eyes, and I took a shaky step forward. It felt like I was being pulled along behind him, like a child towing their red wagon.
Tick.
I could feel him. Not physically of course. But, inside me. I could feel his disappointment. And anger. And desolation. And it destroyed me.
Tick.
I took another step forward. Until I was right in front of the door, my insides warring against what my mind thinks I should want, and what the rest of my body knows I need.
Tick.
I opened the door to find the light rain from earlier had progressed into a classic North Carolina thunderstorm. The wind whipped through the breezeway, blowing my hair around my face as thunder boomed close by. It seemed fitting that outside looked like my insides felt.
I stepped outside, and closed the door behind me, rain water spraying against my face as I tried to figure out what the hell I was doing.
I should let him go.
I need him back.
I have to remember that he lied to me.
None of that matters.
I should go back inside and forget him.
Not a single cell in my body could ever forget him.
I took a tentative step forward. Then another. And another. Until I was at the balcony that overlooked the parking lot.
I scanned the cars until I found Abraham’s large black truck, the dome light lit as he climbed behind the wheel.
“No,” I whispered.
My body made the decision my brain couldn’t.
I ran. My bare feet slapped against each stair as I flew down them as fast as I could. The cold water soaked through my stockings, but I barely noticed.
“Abraham!”
I needed to reach him. Couldn’t let him leave. Couldn’t let this band connecting us be pulled so taut again. I needed to be near him. Needed to be in his arms again. But, there was still so much left unsaid, and unclear.
My body ignored my rambling mind as I sprinted toward his car.
“Abraham!” I yelled again over the pounding rain, and whistling wind. A flash of lightning lit up the dark night, and his eyes found mine.
“Abraham.” I didn’t need to yell anymore, I knew he could hear me.
He slid out of his car and hurried over to me.
“What are you doing? You’re soaking wet! You need to get back in the house.”
“I can’t do this,” I started. Eyes closed, I took a deep breath, and began again. “I can’t do this again, Abraham. I won’t survive it.”
He looked at me quizzically. “Do what again?”
“Lose you!” I yelled as another flash of lightning zipped through the clouds, illuminating the confusion in his blue eyes.
“I don’t understand,” he admitted softly, his hands reached out to grab ahold of me, but stopped short.
“I don’t either!” I yelled, throwing my hands in the air. “I need you to explain it to me, because I don’t understand any of it. Why I haven’t been able to sleep or eat this whole week without you. Why seeing you felt like the first time I’d been able to take a breath in days. Why your eyes look like home.” I used both hands to clutch the soaking wet shirt above my heart. “Why it hurts so fucking bad I can’t remember what it was like without the pain. Why it feels like I’ve missed you all my life, and I’ve only known you a few weeks.” I paused, and dropped my arms to my sides, chest heaving as I struggled to catch my breath. “Why, Abraham? Please, tell me why I can’t live without you.”
His eyes were wide, jaw slack as I watched him trying to make sense of everything I’d just said. He finally reached out, and grasped my arms, pulling me close until our wet bodies collided. “You feel it?” he asked quietly, eyes drilling straight through me.
“I feel everything!” I yelled over the thunder. “Tell me why!” I demanded, using a fist to push against his hard chest.
He closed his eyes, and lowered his head until it rested against mine, water droplets from his wet hair slid down my face obscuring the tears that had begun to fall. “It’s fate,” he whispered.
“I don’t understand,” I cried.
He shook his head before pulling back to look me in the eye. “It’s fate,” he repeated. “We were meant for one another. I was born for you, and you for me. We’re fated mates.”
My mind rebelled against the notion. I didn’t believe in fate.
But, a deeper, primal part of me perked up at his words.
“I knew it the first time I laid eyes on you, as you lay broken, and bleeding on that forest floor. The second your eyes met mine, I knew who you were. What you were. You’re my fated mate, El. We’re meant to be together. It’s why we’ve felt so sick this week apart. You can feel me, can’t you?” he asked, placing one of his large hands on my chest, the other one tangling in the wet hair on the back of my head. “Right here. You can feel me, like I can feel you. You’re mine.”
His blue eyes were as limitless as the universe. As eternal as the ocean. And, as they stared at me, stared through me, I felt the sincerity of his words. Felt the rightness of them in my chest. My heart pounded faster as I rapidly made the connections.
“You’ve been sick too?”
He nodded. “I’ve never felt this awful in my life. This time without you has been torture,” his words cracked, and he closed his eyes. Regaining his composure before continuing. “We were meant to be together, El, never apart.”
My body swayed toward him as his words struck cord after cord deep inside me. I knew they were true. But, my stubborn brain struggled against the idea.
“I don’t believe in fate,” I whispered. “This can’t be real.”
His eyes flashed as another clap of thunder sounded nearby, and I saw the determination settle on his face. “I’ll prove it.”
His lips crashed against mine. Unapologetic, and unforgiving. I gasped in surprise, opening myself to him, and he took full advantage. I was shocked frozen for only moments before my body responded to him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him as close as I could while my mouth devoured his. Like I’d been starving, and he was a feast. Like I’d been lost in the desert for days, and he was an oasis.
He pulled back far enough to whisper against my lips. “You feel that? You feel me?” I moaned in response, and he chuckled into my mouth. “That’s because you’re mine.” He captured my lips again, and I lost myself to him.
As we kissed, something warm that had been buried deep inside me slowly unfurled. It started low in my belly, but soon spread throughout my body, warming the places that had been left cold by his absence. Filling my empty spaces with him.
In return, I felt little pieces of myself transfer to him. Felt it as all his cold, and lonely places were filled with me. My skin sizzled like a live wire as we touched, and tasted, and drank our fill of each other.
Abraham’s large hand reached down to cup my bottom, and he pulled me up against him, lifting me until my legs were wrapped around his waist, my body fitting to his. He spun us around and pressed me against the front of his truck.
When he finally released my lips, I gasped his name between pulling in great lungfuls of air. He kissed, and licked, and sucked down my neck, and across my chest only to repeat the process up the other side of my throat. I shivered under his ministrations, gripping his wet hair with both hands, and writhing against his hard body.
“We need to go inside,” he breathed against my heated skin. I moaned in response, and he released me for a quick moment before scooping me into his arms, and heading for my apartment.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, exploring any skin I could reach with my lips, reveling in the sound of his growls, and moans as I touched upon sensitive places.
He whipped my door open, and then slammed it behind us, his lips finding mine once more. Still in his arms, he walked us down the hall, tangling our entwined bodies in the hanging beads. I laughed against his wet skin as he growled again and yanked the offending beads out of his way.
We made it to the bedroom, but not much further. He set me down on my dresser, hands sliding up my thighs, and bunching my skirt around my hips as he dragged me forward until I was pressed against him. I shivered as his stiff wet jeans pressed into the apex of my thighs.
I felt his lips smile as they met mine, his mouth swallowing my moans. My fingers found the hem of the t-shirt plastered to his hard body, and I yanked it up, breaking contact with his lips for only seconds while I pulled it over his head. Now that I had unfettered access to his hot skin, I ran my greedy hands over every inch I could reach. He shuddered beneath my touch, and that spurred me on further.
His large hands pulled me even closer to him, my butt sitting right on the end of the dresser. He felt so good pressed into me like that, I rotated my hips, trying to get the seam of his jeans to hit just the right spot. His hands clenched tighter before one slipped beneath my thin shirt, skating across my overheated skin.
His nimble fingers flicked my bra strap open, and I moaned again. With one hand clutching my ass, the other skirted around to my front where he cupped my breast in his big hand. He growled deep in his throat as he pinched the hard peak. I gasped, nails digging into his smooth back as my hips gyrated faster against him.
There was a slow burning inferno building in my core. And, as Abraham hefted and tweaked my other breast that fire raged hotter. Brighter.
His hips were pumping against me, the hard evidence of his arousal hitting just the right spot between my legs. I wrapped my thighs tighter around his waist as that fire made its way up my body, through my veins, and to every inch of me.
When it felt like I couldn’t take anymore, like I’d combust if this went any further, my body reached an even greater height, before it exploded into a million tiny particles. I clenched my thighs even tighter, digging my nails into his back as I rode out the wave of the most incredible orgasm I’d ever had. His name fell from my lips repeatedly as he licked, and kissed my skin over, and over again.
He kept pumping his hips against mine as my body tried to piece itself back together. Suddenly, he froze in place, his muscles contracting, and he let out a long deep moan that set off another mini explosion in my core. His hand on my ass gripped so tight I knew I’d have bruises, but I didn’t care. In fact, I hoped he did leave a mark. I wanted to be branded as his.
The possessive thoughts might have concerned me if I could have thought straight at that point. Abraham’s head hid in the crook of my neck, his breathing wild as I tried to control my own. We sat there in the quiet darkness of my room, struggling to catch our breath as the high of our ardor faded.
His soft chuckle danced across my skin. He raised his head to look at me, his cheeks a little pink, and his eyes glassy. “I can’t believe I just came in my pants,” he commented drily.
“You didn’t!” I said, but knew he had. I smelled his arousal as well as I smelled my own. And blood. I sniffed again. “Are you bleeding?”
He shook his head with a satisfied smile. “I think you got a little carried away.”
I gasped and slid off the dresser to walk behind him. Sure enough, there were little crescent moon shaped marks dug into the smooth, tan skin of his back. I ran a gentle finger over the marks before leaning close and kissing each one of them. His muscles trembled beneath my lips.
“I’d never tell you to stop putting those luscious lips anywhere on me you’d like,” he called over his shoulder, “But, you don’t have to worry about me. They’ll be gone in a few minutes.”
My face heated, and I took a step away from him, the gravity of what we had just done finally sinking in. He must have felt the change in me, because he spun around, and pulled my body against his.
“Don’t you dare start to over think this, El,” he warned.
I shook my head. “It’s just that there’s so much we haven’t discussed.”
His eyes roved over my face before he nodded once. “Okay, then let’s get changed, and we’ll discuss.”
“Really?”
He nodded again. “Really. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“No more secrets?” I asked, my voice half plea, and half demand.
He shook his head. “Never again. You have my word.”
I smiled at his declaration.
I could work with that.
“Now I just need to run out to my truck for some dry clothes,” he motioned to his rain-soaked ensemble.
I looked down at my stockinged feet. “Actually, I have some of your clothes here.” I took a peek at him to see he was staring at me incredulously. “They were from the day you gave me that spare set at the lake. I still have them. I washed them too.”
Without waiting for his response, I walked over to my dresser, and pulled his sweatpants and t-shirt out of the bottom drawer. I’d held off on washing them because I wanted them to still smell like him, but relented when they reeked more like lake than him.
I held them out to him, and he took them with one hand, pulling me close with the other. He kissed my lips. “Thank you, baby.”
I nodded my head shyly, and he left for the bathroom to get changed. I peeled the soaking wet clothes from my body and pulled on a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a tank top before throwing my long hair into a bun on the top of my head.
When he returned to the room, I was sitting on my bed, cross-legged, and ready to get some answers.