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When the shower wound down, and most of the guests had left, Dax helped load mountains of gifts into the back of Rob’s pickup. There was enough for ten babies piled in there, Kendra thought.

Ned and a couple of long-time waitresses were already busy taking down streamers. Joe’s little girl, five-year-old Matilda was running around gathering up balloons. She could manage two at a time, kind of hugging them to her waist, one under each arm, but then she kept trying to go for three. She bent over a pink balloon, wiggled her fingers and twisted her hands, but she couldn’t push her arms together around the balloons she already had. Little T-Rex, Kendra thought, and laughed out loud. Matilda pressed her arms harder, and both balloons sprang free. She dropped onto her backside on the floor. A blond curl landed across her face, and she blew it away with a pouty little puff.

Kendra experienced a warm wave of something in the middle of her chest, behind her ribcage and a little to the left. She looked at her sister, hadn’t meant to, just did, and her eyes locked onto that bulging belly, and she thought of her niece being Matilda’s age, that cute and that precocious and that pretty.

This thing was real. There was going to be a new person in her life. It was a big deal. Her eyes were getting all damp, stupid eyes, and when she dragged them off her sister’s belly, she found Kiley looking right at her. She had an odd look on her face, like she was trying to interpret Kendra’s interest in her belly.

Getting up with effort, Kiley came over. Kendra turned a little sideways to watch Joey, Matilda’s father, handing her a giant trash bag.

The little girl’s eyes lit up. “That’s brilliant !” She shouted, springing upright and at him, like she’d been sitting on an airbag as it deployed. He totally knew it was coming, too, because he hunkered down and caught her for a great big hug.  “Thanks, Daddy.”

“Any time, Princess.”

Matilda looked at the bag, a green one, then at the balloons all around the room. “I might need more than one bag.”

“I think you can make due with one,” her daddy said. “Maybe some of the other kids want to take some home. You think?”

“Okay.” She ran off to fill her bag with balloons.

“She’s cute, isn’t she?” Kiley asked.

“If she was any cuter, I’d need insulin.” Kendra softened the words with a smile. “Watching her made me think about Diana. And how big a deal this is.” Her eyes were on her sister’s bump again. And something pressed outward from one side, then receded, then gave three quick little jabs.”

“Ow!” Kiley said.

“That’s…that’s unreal.” Kendra put her hand on there to feel it. “It’s like Alien.”

“It is not like Alien!” Something poked outward slowly, making an odd and impossible lump. Kendra met Kiley’s eyes, lifted her brows. “Okay, it’s a little like Alien.” She smiled. They both did. “I really want you to stay, Kendra.” Kiley put her hand over the one on her belly.

Kendra lowered her head. “You want me to change, so I can stay.” She already had changed. Sort of. But there was some stubborn streak preventing her from telling Kiley that. She wanted unconditional acceptance, she guessed.

“It’s not so hard. And it feels wonderful not to have to deceive people all the time. You wouldn’t believe the…the lightness of it. Never watching over your shoulder, worried about getting caught in a lie, never worried about getting caught, period.”

She didn’t doubt a word of it. It did feel good not having a cover to maintain. She hadn’t realized how good until she’d had to maintain one again. And lie to Dax. And try to get him to do something he didn’t want to do. And now she was racking her brain to figure a way to help him deal with Vester Caine once Jack was safe. There had to be a way to get Dax and Caroline out of this mess without one or both of them doing time.

She was also worried about Dax finding out the truth, Dax not finding out the truth, Dax going along with the plan, Dax refusing to go along with the plan, her father getting killed, her sister and niece getting in the way of this, and what the hell to do with Miss Dolly for the rest of the week.

Give me a minute, she thought, and I can make that list longer.

“Hey.”

Kiley was searching her face when Kendra pulled her focus out of her own head. “Whatever it is,” her sister asked, “can you do anything about it tonight?”

She thought and thought and thought. “I don’t think so.”

Matilda ran past them, her trash bag bulging with balloons and bouncing along behind her. She raced through the batwing doors and outside into the parking lot.

“If there’s nothing you can do about it right now, why waste your time on it?” Kiley went on. “Let it go and relax.”

“Where’d you get that crap? Oprah?”

“Allie. She reads a lot of self-help books.” Kiley sighed and went on. “If you want to talk about anything, I’m here. Okay?”

Kendra’s eyes were all hot and wet again. “God, you’re so sappy now, you know that? What is that, a side effect of pregnancy?”

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

Matilda came racing back through, trash bag empty now, and flying behind her like a banner.

Kiley laughed. “Thank you for the party, sis.”

“Thank you for the niece.”

Kiley hugged her and kissed her face. Then she joined her husband and headed out to their waiting truck.

Kendra walked outside behind them, Dax falling into step beside her, little Matilda racing behind them, her trash bag once again bulging.

They stepped aside to let Matilda and her bag of balloons pass, then followed her outside. She carried the bag right over to a pickup truck that had a mountain of balloons in its bed, climbed up onto the rear bumper and emptied her bag.

“Matilda what are you doing?” Emily, asked, trying to sound like a stern mommy, except for the laughter bubbling underneath her words.

“Daddy said I should make due with one bag, so…” She held up her hands, palms-up, on either side of her pretty face. Then she added, “I asked the other kids, Daddy. Nobody else wanted any.”

Emily looked at Joey. Joey said, “She has not disobeyed me in any way. Followed my words to the letter. I said she could make due with one bag, and that’s exactly what she did.”

Jason came up, slapped Joe on the shoulder and said, “I’ve got a tarp and some bungies. Let’s secure your daughter’s cargo, little brother.

Kendra stood there with Dax and waved goodbye as everyone left. The shower had gone really well. And now she was going to help with the cleanup, and make the best of the evening, because there was nothing else she could do tonight, anyway. Her sister had been right about that. So she pushed up her sleeves and started back to the dining room with the few remaining people. Ned was still there, and he and Miss Dolly were using cleanup time to continue talking, and laughing and touching every now and then. It was kind of sweet.

Everyone headed into the dining room. Kendra paused and glanced back at the bar. Might as well make clean-up as much fun as possible. She filled a glass with ice, then halfway with Coke, and then the rest of the way vodka, highest proof on the shelf. She dropped in a straw before moseying back into the dining room, where not a single balloon remained.

Dax could see that Kendra was tipsy. She was not drunk. He knew drunk from tipsy. She’d sneaked a couple of drinks when she thought he wasn’t looking, probably because she knew he was on the wagon.

“It went really well, don’t you think?” she asked.

“I think it was a huge hit,” Dax said.

“I had a moment with Kiley, I think.”

“I saw.”

Everybody was gone, except for the two of them. The place was clean, chairs up on tables. Joey had been the last to leave, and he’d said, “I’ll leave the back door open. Lock it up before you uh… whatever.”

They were walking that way now, toward the back door. Dax wasn’t sure if Kendra was expecting him to leave and lock it behind him, or stay, and lock it from the inside.

He decided to find out, and locked the door, then looked at her, waiting for her to object. He did an internal happy dance when she didn’t.

“Miss Dolly is sweet,” he said, arm around her shoulders, walking them back through the kitchen, into the saloon, and around to the staircase.

“She’s been flirting with Ned all night. I’m a little bit worried about him.” She wrapped her arm around his waist as they climbed the stairs, let her head rest against his upper arm as they went up. “She’s in the…family business.”

“He’ll be fine. He’s ex-Navy.” Then he thought a minute and smiled. “Besides, he’s smitten. Well and truly smitten.”

“Twitterpated,” she said, laughing. “It is kind of sweet.”

“You’re kind of sweet, too,” he said, and he turned her into his arms when they stopped outside her door. And then he kissed her, and as usual, common sense and rational thought left his mind. “You taste like vodka.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll brush my teeth.”

“I like it.” He kissed her again to prove it. He’d quit drinking, so this was as close as he was gonna get.

She kissed him back and pressed her key into his hand. He turned them sideways and maneuvered it blindly, jabbing and missing a few times before he manged to turn the key and open the door. They stumbled inside, still kissing, fell onto the bed still kissing, undressed each other, still kissing.

Sex with her always felt real. She didn’t pretend, she didn’t cover, she didn’t hide. She let him see her soul when he made love to her. He stroked her secrets. He kissed her scars. He touched her fears, until she let them all go.

It had always seemed like she really meant it, when Kendra let him make love to her. And tonight, it felt like she meant it even more.

 Later, when they collapsed in and around and against each other, breathless, plummeting to earth from heaven like the winking sparks of a fireworks display, he said, “I love you, you know.”

And she said, “Yeah. I know.”

He hadn’t expected an I love you, too. He’d hoped, but he hadn’t expected it. Probably just as well. If she said it now, before he told her what he’d decided, it might change anyway.

He sank back onto his pillows beside her, one hand behind his head, and watched her face. She was on her side facing him, knees bent and tipped over on top of his thigh, one bent arm across his chest, fingertips splayed over his heart. Maybe she was feeling it beat. It was beating fast. For her.

He looked right into her eyes. “I don’t want to own a racetrack, Kendra. It’s probably the thing I want least in the whole world.”

She flinched as if something had stung her. And then her gaze seemed to be looking within. “Why not?” she asked. But he got the feeling it was filler, to give her mind time to write the rest of the script. All that connection, all that openness, was fading now. She was gathering her masks around her once again.

“On his deathbed, my father told me he’d have disinherited me if he’d known he was gonna die so soon. He’d intended to take care of it, just didn’t get around to it. Who expects to die at sixty, you know?”

“Your father was an asshole.”

“Yes. He was. But the fact remains, I don’t want it, Kendra. He didn’t want me to have it, and I can’t swallow enough pride to take it on a technicality.”

“But…but you could give the profits to your mother,” she said.

“Mom and I had a heart-to-heart this morning. She feels the same way I do. She’s a successful woman in her own right. She’s got her boarding stable, and she does really well for herself. She’s ready to let the track go, too. The SRA will pay market value if living heirs give it up.”

Kendra swallowed hard. “So…then, you’ve decided?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I have a few technicalities to work out first, but yeah. Ultimately, we’re letting it go.”

“I think that’s a mistake, Dax.”

“Maybe. I just keep thinking how I’ll feel when the newspapers run my name next to that track’s name, and talk about the family legacy. Maybe they’ll run my photo beside my old man’s. It’ll feel like a lie.”

“Newspapers,” she said softly. Then she sat up quick, hugged her knees to her chest, rested her chin on top of them.  “And my shot at a new life? At a new career?”

“You already have a new career. Whether you keep it going, that’s up to you. If we’re gonna make this work, we have to give each other autonomy over our own lives.”

“Autonomy, huh? So if I choose to go back to hustling fools?”

“Autonomy within reason.”

“That’s a double standard.”

He nodded and sighed, sitting up beside her in the bed. “I only want to be with you if you can give it up for good, Kendra. I can be honest about that. Just tell me, do you only want to be with me if I own a racetrack?”

She looked at him for the first time, and he wanted to believe it was honesty he saw in her eyes. But with Kendra, you could never be sure. “My feelings for you have absolutely nothing to do with your father’s racetrack. That’s the truth, Dax.”

He clasped her hands. “I want to build something of my own,” he said. “No. I want us to build something of our own. Together.”

She sighed, lowered her head, breaking eye contact. 

“Do you want that, too?” he asked at length.

“I…I’ve got too much going on right now to figure out something that deep on five minutes’ notice, okay?”  She dropped her face to her palms, pushed them up and back through her hair.

“That’s fair,” he said. “You’re right. Take some time. I know this is a big change, Kendra, but I need your honesty. I need you to trust me. If we’re gonna go forward together, I need there to be no secrets between us. That’s crucial.”

She lowered her eyes, hiding whatever was happening behind them. Again.

Sighing, he rolled out of the bed, stood up, and felt her looking at his naked body while he gathered up his clothes. “I’m gonna go.”

“Stay,” she said.

He turned around, his pants in his hand. “You need space to think about all this.”

“I think better when I’m wrapped up in you. Stay, Dax. Really.”

She could hurt him so bad if she wanted to. She was still keeping secrets from him. She might be sincere, or she might be a spider inviting the fly to a sleepover in her web. Man, he was some kind of idiot where this woman was concerned.

He dropped his pants on the floor and crawled back into her bed.

The idea had come to Kendra full blown, as if left behind by the vodka’s receding tide. She knew exactly what she had to do. As soon as Dax was snoring peacefully, she crept out of the bed, took his cell phone from the nightstand, and pressed his thumb to the home button to unlock it. Then she grabbed a robe and slipped out into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind her, but not letting it lock.

She walked a few feet down the hall in one direction, only to be brought up short by creaking and thumping and Miss Dolly saying, “Oh, Ned, oh, Ned!”

Kendra pivoted and tiptoed in the opposite direction as fast as she could go, clicking icons to keep the phone from locking up again on the way. In a quiet spot, she gave a gentle shudder to try to disengage the images of Dolly and Ned from her imagination as she surfed for the email address she needed.

Ace and Phil passed out before the end of the second football game. Phil was on the sofa, all cocked over to one side with his face on the arm and his mouth open. Ace had got up, staggered three steps, and then hit the floor like a sack of feed.

 Jack searched them, found his phone in one of Ace’s pockets—thank God. Ace wasn’t bright enough to have removed the battery and tossed it someplace far away to prevent anyone tracking it, should they try. And Vester Caine hadn’t thought to tell him to, because nobody can tell an idiot everything he needs to know. Some things were supposed to be obvious, likealways keep the barrel end of your gun pointed away from you, and don’t stick Tic-Tacs up your nose. 

He pocketed his phone and Ace’s pocket knife, then tossed Ace’s and Phil’s phones onto the coffee table. Just as he did, one of them vibrated. Curious, Jack glanced at it.

It was a text from Kendra, showing on the lock screen. When he’d called her the first time, it had been from that phone. And Caine had used it to text her as well. He was too smart to use his own. Records could be subpoenaed, after all. He could see the full content of the message on the lock screen.

 It’s done. Watch tomorrow’s Aurora Free Times for proof.

Jack smiled from ear to ear, shaking his head. “Well, what do you know? She pulled it off.” And here he’d been worrying she’d gone soft on the mark.

Too bad he was already this deep into his escape plan. There was an SUV in the driveway, the one they’d driven here in. He took the keys, and all the cash in both their wallets, which turned out to be over six-fifty. On the way to the front door, he snagged the whiskey and a handful of Vester’s Cuban cigars. Then he put the cigars back and took the entire humidor. He could’ve looted the place for a lot more, but he figured he should git while the gittin’s good, as his mother used to say.

She’d been a master, his mother. Reminded him a lot of Kendra.

He opened the front door, cringed at the loud creak it made when he did, and glanced back at the men sprawled in the living room.

“Goin’ somewhere Jack?”

Jack’s head snapped right just as Vester Caine got up from the porch swing, rising slow to his full height of about 6’4”, big enough that he probably didn’t even need the gun in his hand. He walked casually closer, flipped a light switch, and the porch was suddenly flooded and blinding. Looking down at the bottle Jack held by its neck, he shook his head, reached out with a free hand and took it while Jack was still trying to decide whether he could hit him upside the head with it and run.

Probably not worth the risk, what with the gun and all.

Caine twisted off the cap, took a long drink that made Jack’s throat feel dry. Then he nodded at the fancy ass box cradled in Jack’s other arm. “My cigars, too? Jackie, Jackie, Jackie.”

Jack held the cigars out to the guy. “Here you go. All good. No need for the gun.”

“Back inside.” He waved with the barrel and Jack obeyed, reaching behind him to open the creaking screen door, and backing into the little farmhouse. He set the cigars on the table.

“Where are my boys, Jackie?”

Jack inclined his head. Caine looked through into the living room where the two were sacked out, one on a ratty sofa, and the other on the floor.

“You killed ’em?”

“No!” Jack all but shouted it. “No, no, they’re just sleeping. I slipped ‘em some Benadryl. They’ll be fine. Might wake up with a little headache, but I bet Ace’ll stop sniffling for a day or two.”

“You’re a little too clever for your own good, aren’t you Jack?”

“That, I am,” he said. “All that planning, all that cooking. And it turned out I didn’t even need to escape. You’d have let me go in the morning anyway.”

“Here it comes.” Caine rolled his eyes. “What fairy tale you gonna spin for me now?”

“Check Phil’s phone. Kendra texted it just as I was leaving.”

The phone was on the coffee table, right in the open where Jack had left it, so Caine marched him in, then picked it up, keeping his gun on Jack. He tapped the phone so it came to life, and the notification appeared on the lock screen when he did. His eyebrows rose.

Jack thanked his stars for his girl and her skills. “Her timing stinks, but she got it done. I knew she would. Shit, if your guys hadn’t already passed out I’d have called the whole thing off. I was just eager to get out of this—”

“Shup up, Jack.” Caine tossed the phone on the table again. “She says watch the Aurora Free Times tomorrow morning for proof. That’s how long you’ve got to live if this is bullshit. Now get your ass in the basement.”

“Hell, not the basement. Look this thing’s over. You won.”

“I always win. And you’d better believe I’ll be verifying every freaking story you or your damn kid tell me. You Kelloggs are a pack of manipulators and liars. Can’t be trusted. So you want me to put a bullet in your head right now for all the trouble you’ve given me? Or are you gonna get your skinny ass into the basement?”

“Basement it is.”

Caine followed him to the basement door. Jack opened it, flicked the light switch to the left, and felt a foot slam into the middle of his back. He pitched forward and tumbled down those rickety stairs like a boulder in an avalanche, breaking a couple risers on the way down. When he landed, he just lay there, not moving as pain screamed through every part of him.

The light flicked off, and the door slammed.

Jack wasn’t sure, but he thought his arm was broken. He also thought Vester Caine was probably going to kill him in the morning, no matter what the newspaper had to say. And regardless, his million dollar payoff was not going to happen.

Dax was an early riser by nature, but it was a ping from his cell that had stirred him awake this morning. He read the text. Then he rolled over in bed, and went real still and just looked at Kendra, lying there, her hair spread on the pillows, eyes closed, those long lashes on her cheeks. She was more beautiful than the sunlight kissing her skin. Waking up beside her was everything he wanted in life right then. It was perfect.

And it was a fantasy.

The text was from the accountant he had going over Aurora Downs’ books. He said someone had been using the track to launder money. Dax knew you didn’t launder money unless it was illegal money. Drug money, weapons-trade money, sex-trade money, something like that. The accountant sent a file. Dax viewed it. Saw it right away. The expenses were ten times what they should be, and many had, conveniently, been paid in cash. The accountant wanted to know what to do.

He replied, “Follow the money. Find out who.” And then after an agonizing moment, he’d added, “Call if you find mention of Kendra Kellogg.”

So he knew what. He just didn’t know who. And he didn’t know how Kendra was involved, or if she was involved, and he still had no idea how the hell to protect his mother.

He needed to get away from Kendra for a little while. He couldn’t think straight when he was with her. She was like one of those hidden images you could only see when you lost your focus. He lost focus around her, and the illusion looked real.

Yeah. He decided to head home for a shower and fresh clothes, grab a bite and go to work. The day started early at Holiday Ranch.

He leaned in to kiss her cheek, and breathed her in. He hated to leave.

She stirred, smiled softly without opening her eyes.

“I’ve gotta go,” he said. “I’ll see you later, though. Okay?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

She didn’t even wake up all the way. He slipped out of bed, dressed quietly and headed for home. On the way, his phone chimed its incoming message signal, and he glanced at it. It was a text from the lawyer, with an image too small to make out.

He pulled into his driveway before taking a closer look.

AURORA SPRINGS’ ONLY PRIVATE TRACK STAYS THAT WAY

Dax had to make the screen bigger to read the rest.

AURORA DOWNS’ new owner Dax Russell is the late Nealand Russell’s only son and heir. As his first order of business, Russell has appointed Kendra Kellogg manager. Background on Ms. Kellogg is a little hard to come by, but we’ll know more right after the holiday, when The Free Times will have an exclusive interview with both her and Dax Russell about their plans for our beloved Aurora Downs.

Dax stared at the image filling his phone’s screen for a long time and read it twice, before he realized that he was looking at a photo of the front page of the Aurora Free Times. He could make out the edge of the lawyer’s coffee mug.

Did you do this?

He sighed at the phone, irritated, tapped in NO and hit send. Then he pocketed the thing, and wondered where the reporter had got his information. He thought about calling and asking the guy, but he probably wouldn’t tell him. That was some kind of reporter code, wasn’t it?

Besides he knew who’d done this. Kendra.

Others knew. Rob knew about Kendra’s “brilliant idea” to manage the track. Dax had confided in him. And what Rob knew, Kiley knew. And it was common knowledge that whatever  any member of the Brand-McIntyre clan knew, they all knew. They had a group text busier than the AP wire.

All those arguments came from the part of him that loved her. That was a really big part.

But his thinking mind wasn’t dead yet. No one else had any reason to leak this lie to the press. He pulled into his driveway and shut the car off, then lowered his head to the steering wheel, not voluntarily. A wave of sadness washed over him, filled him, flooding in through a hole in his heart. It weakened his muscles. He felt heavy.

He pulled out his phone and saw three more texts from the lawyer. He didn’t read them. He just typed “Don’t tell Mom…” Backspace, backspace, backspace. “Don’t tell Caroline and spoil her trip. I’m looking into this. Will get back to you.”

He needed time to work through this, the grief of it. Because there was no question in his mind Kendra had tipped off the paper. He didn’t know why, but why didn’t matter. She was playing him again. He’d known it all along; he just hadn’t wanted to accept it. She was involved, somehow, with whatever criminal had been using Aurora Downs to clean his dirty money. He didn’t know who or how, but did it matter?

He’d walked right into this with his eyes wide open, told himself he could keep his heart out of it. But he hadn’t.

The truth hurt more than he had ever imagined. It hurt like hot railroad spikes, driven straight through his heart.

And she was far, far crueler than he ever would’ve believed. Because she knew he loved her. And she’d played him anyway.

So he made his mind slow down a little, and he got out of the car, went inside, and tried to go through the motions of any other morning, hoping the emotional tsunami would wash back out to sea.

He backhanded wetness from his cheeks, made himself a single cup of coffee, spilled the cream he tried to add all over the table. His hands were shaking, he realized as he sat there, staring at the vibrations of the spoon he was holding.

He hadn’t shaken this hard since he’d quit drinking.

Drinking—why did he have to think of drinking? The sensation and taste of whiskey splashed over his tongue, too real to be imaginary.

He got up, cleaned up the cream, put the carton back in the fridge. There was a muffin in there from Sunny’s Place. That might soak up the lava bubbling in his stomach. So he took that to the table with him and ate it slowly, and drank the coffee, and waited for the killing-winds inside him to abate.

But they didn’t. And he wondered if they ever would.

He rinsed his mug after the 2^nd refill, cleaned up the muffin crumbs, and headed to the bathroom for a long hot shower.

An hour later, still feeling no relief, he drove down Main until he hit the Falls Road, and took that up into the woods and hills north of town. He headed back to the barely used dirt road that looped around at one end, and he drove over it once to check for hazards; boulders or limbs or potholes. It looked good. So he drove back to the beginning, lined up his wheels, and sat there. There was so much power under and around him that he felt its rumble, and revved the motor just a little, so the rumble became a roar. And then he released the clutch, stomped the gas and sent twin geysers of red dirt flying behind him before the tires caught and the Charger lunged forward. He gave it all he could, let off just before the curve, turned the wheel, gave it more again, and the car drifted around the loop almost sideways, then caught traction and sped back to the start again.

He wasn’t timing himself, but he was sure he could do it faster.

Jack had fallen asleep, despite trying real hard not to, because he was afraid if he fell asleep after a concussion, he’d die. He knew that was an old wives’ tale, but he was afraid all the same.

He wasn’t used to being afraid. So far, he didn’t like it much.

When he woke up, there was dim gray light coming through the skinny casement windows. The sun had not yet risen. He pushed himself up onto all fours, only one arm wasn’t holding weight and screamed when he tried. So he got up on all threes. Moving hurt like a bitch. One knee was generating pulses of pain like a heartbeat and he quickly took his weight off it, and just sat on the floor, scooting back to a wall to lean against it. His head hurt, and his arm was like a bad toothache. The rest of his body seemed intact. He didn’t seem to be bleeding anywhere.

He patted himself down, found his phone and the pocket knife, all that cash, and one lonely cigar. His head kept dropping to one side. His vision kept going dark. He yanked the phone out of his pocket, and looked down at its shattered screen. Hell.

But still…maybe. He opened the app, tapped the command. Then he got up on his toes and used the pocket knife to start working on the casement window. Those things were never installed worth a damn.

Kendra was pounding on Dax’s door by 7:17 a.m. But she knew he wasn’t there. She could feel it—a big pulsing emptiness that, now that she thought about it, always seemed to be around when he wasn’t. The empty driveway further attested to his absence. That orange Charger didn’t go anywhere without him, that was for sure.

Dammit, she needed to see him, make sure he hadn’t caught on to her sleight of hand. If he had, she’d have to explain, but she would really prefer not to have to. Vester Caine and his henchmen would see the headline—she’d already forwarded them a direct link to the Aurora Free Times online edition. All she had to do was confirm that her father was free, out of harm’s way, and then she’d tell Dax the truth. 

She remembered, vaguely, that tender kiss this morning. His soft voice telling her he had to leave and that he’d see her later. She hadn’t intended to let him go. She’d thought she would stick to him like glue this morning to make sure he didn’t get wind of the headline in the Aurora Springs newspaper until she’d had the chance to come clean and explain. God, why had she let him go?

She headed out to her sister’s place, because if Dax wasn’t home or with her, then he must be out there with the horses.

When she got to Kiley’s, she twisted her rearview mirror and looked at her reflection. A stranger looked back. Frightened eyes, all roiling with emotions, that kept filling with tears. Her lips kept quivering. Her heart was beating too fast.

She schooled her face not to look as guilty as she felt, and saw that the big barn door was open. Good. Maybe she wouldn’t have to see her sister. Kiley could see right through her. She was the only one who could.

So she moseyed in through the open door, and then walked through the barn, which really wasn’t a barn anymore. They’d converted it into a sprawling stable. It smelled of oats and molasses and horse. But it would always be the barn to her. The big barn. Kiley’s artsy crafty trinket shop was the little barn. Both buildings used to be full of old junk and spiderwebs and mystery, and two little girls used to sneak out and climb through them in search of treasure, even though their father had told them not to.

So different now. No more secrets to uncover. They were open and clean and bright like Kiley’s new life. Kendra, though, was still crawling through cobwebs and shadows. She went all the way through to the rear door that opened into the pasture and closed it behind her.

Rob was out there watching a horse run in circles around him. He held a rope that was attached to her harness, and turned with her as she trotted.

“Hey Rob,” she called.

He glanced her way. “Morning, Kendra.”  He unclipped the lead and let the mare run off to do whatever horses did all day, then came to her. “Thank you for the shower. It was fantastic.”

She nodded. “You’re welcome. Sophie and Emily helped. So did your stepmother.  Vidalia’s something else, isn’t she?”

“She sure is.” He frowned, looking past her. “Kiley’s in the house, if you wanted to uh—”

“No. No, I’ll have to visit her later. Right now I’m just… I’m looking for Dax. He wasn’t home so I thought he might be here.”

“He texted me earlier, said he’d be late.” Rob frowned. “Something wrong between you two?”

“Not as far as I know, but it’s weird he’s nowhere to be found.”

“You call him?”

“I need to see him in person.”

She could see Rob wrestling with whether he ought to ask why, so she said, “I’ll find him. No problem. I’ll visit Kiley another time. Bye.” She turned and trotted to the barn, ducked behind the door again and ran back through it to her car.

She was a mile down the road when she saw him coming toward her. Didn’t recognize the car at first. Dax’s Charger was usually spotless, but today it wore such a thick layer of dust and dirt that it didn’t even look orange anymore. More beige.

She pulled her car over onto the shoulder. He swung his around, and pulled it up behind hers. She sat there staring at him in the side mirror, her hands sweaty on the steering wheel. He didn’t get out for a long moment. He knows rang through her head, and then repeated in the deep tones of a Gregorian chant. It was a death knell. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows.

The filthy door opened. Dax got out.

Taking a deep breath, Kendra opened her door and got out, too. She started toward him. He came a few steps, then stopped and just stood there, looking at her. The wind messed with his hair, and the sun beamed, making the gold strands shimmer. But he wasn’t smiling. His face was still, as if all the muscles had been paralyzed. As she got closer, she realized the pain only showed in his eyes. It was so intense, her first thought was that something must’ve happened to his mother. But right behind it came the truth. Something happened to him, dumb ass. YOU.

She moved closer, no longer doubting that he knew what she’d done. He’d probably seen the paper. She stopped with about a foot between his toes and hers, and looked him right in his wounded blue eyes, and tried to think of something to say.

“You leaked a lie to the Aurora Free Times.”

“Yes, I did, but—”

“And they just took your word for it? Ran the story without even calling me to verify it?”

She pressed her lips, looked at her feet. “The email was from you. I sent it from your phone last night.”

He just looked at her, his eyes moving all over her face, like he was trying to see the monster he knew she was, trying to see the visible proof of it.

“Before or after I told you I didn’t want the damn track?”

“After.”

“And after I told you seeing my name in the paper beside his was more than I could bear to think about?”

She nodded, lowering her eyes to the road at her feet. It was like that made it ten times worse for him. He tipped back his head, turned in a slow circle, and was blinking way too frequently when he faced her again. “Do you honestly think this is gonna force me to accept the inheritance? And even if it did, that I’d still put you in charge?”

“No. I didn’t think any of that. I don’t need you to accept the inheritance, Dax, I just need it to look like you did for a day or two.”

He grimaced like he’d just caught a whiff of ripe limburger. “ What?”

“Your father was laundering money through the track for Vester Caine—”

“Who the hell is Vester Caine?”

 “He’s a business man who imports heroin with his products. If the track goes to the SRA, a big spotlight shines on his deals and he’s got more trouble than you can even imagine.”

“If the track goes to me, I’ll do the same thing.”

“I know that and you know that, but Caine doesn’t know that. He thinks he can buy anyone. And if he can’t buy them, he’ll threaten them or blackmail them or something.”

“And you were putting me in his sites? Not to mention my mother, Kendra?”

“I didn’t put you in his sites, Dax. You were already there.”

“Bullshit. So how much?”

She shook her head, her explanation kept forming and dissipating inside her mind, but she’d better say something fast, or it would be too late. “How much what?”

“How much did he pay you to come down here and slide your sweet, sharp, deadly blade between my ribs? Again.”

She stared into his eyes and knew she’d hurt him more than she had even realized. “My father’s life.”

He blinked.

“He’s got Jack. If you don’t inherit and call off the accountant, they’re going to kill him.”

He just stood there, staring at her like he wanted to be able to see through her. “Did you just make that up, just now? Cause that’s pretty good.”

“I recorded the conversations,” she said, diving into her shoulder bag for her phone. “I saved every text.”

“Or you made them up, you and some of your scam-artist pals. A little play acting for the idiot mark. What were you gonna do, take the job running Aurora Downs while secretly working for Caine? Or just rob the place dry and disappear? Maybe fake a second death and leave me thinking I’d lost the love of my life again?”

“Dax, no—”

“I need you to go,” he said. “Get out of Big Falls.”

“I can’t.” She held his gaze hard and shook her head harder. “I need to be here for my sister.”

“Then I’ll go.”

“You can’t. Rob needs you. The horses need you.”

“His sister-in-law’s a vet.”

“He relies on you, Dax. He’s your best friend. You can’t just walk away. Who else is gonna pick up the slack once the baby comes? Who else will take care of things so he can stay with Kiley while it happens, and right after? There’s no one else who knows horses like you do, no one else he’d trust with them.”

He lowered his head. “I don’t know why we’re having this conversation. I don’t need to explain my plans or reasons for making them to you. I’m done, Kendra.”

“Dax, they threatened to kill my father. That’s the truth.”

“If that was ever a real risk, it’s not anymore. Not if your con works, and let’s face it, they always do.”

He turned and started back for his car, but she ran around in front of him and stood there blocking his path. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“That sentence is never true. You always have a choice.” He moved to walk around her.

She moved, too, her hands going to his shoulders in a knee-jerk movement fueled by panic. It flooded her with ice cold adrenaline and she couldn’t think rationally. She just couldn’t let him leave. The thought of him leaving this spot and then leaving town and just being gone from her life was absolute disaster to her.

“Please Dax. You don’t have to inherit the damn thing. By the time the lawyers get here and you have your meeting, all this will be over with and you can tell them you don’t want it, just like you planned to do. You didn’t even need to know about this newspaper gag. Nothing’s changed.”

He looked down at her face and shook his head. “You still think this is about the track?” Then he sighed, long and heavy. “But I guess that’s all it was ever about, isn’t it? Good bye, Kendra.”

He stepped around her again, turning her as he did, then opening his car door.

“Dax, I love you!” she shouted at his back.

He froze as he was about to get in. “Damn. I didn’t think even you would stoop that low.” Then he got in, pulled the door closed, backed around into the road, all without even looking at her again. And then he laid rubber and was gone

Kendra was dizzy and shaking and her heart was pounding so fast it was like the hooves of one of Rob’s horses. She hadn’t realized it until she’d said the words—words Dax obviously thought were lies. Maybe she’d thought they were, too, when they’d exploded from her chest without permission.

“I love you.” She whispered them again and they felt just as shocking, just as impossible, and just as true.

She opened her mouth to try to catch her breath and couldn’t, which made her breathe faster and press her hands to her chest. It felt all fluttery and stuttery and it hurt. It was a heart attack, she was sure of it.

A car went by. She heard it slow, and reverse, and then someone was beside her, holding one hand, putting an arm around her back. “Hang on, hang on, I can have you at Doc Sophie’s in two minutes. Quicker than an ambulance. Come on, now.”

She recognized the voice, the pear-shape even more. Allie Wakeland.

Her own car’s door slammed. “I’ve got your keys. Your car will be fine.”  Then she was beside her again, helping her into the passenger seat of her vehicle. She slammed the door, and hurried around to get behind the wheel.

Kendra sat there with her hand on her chest, bent forward, gasping as Allie drove. She thought she would die before they made it to Doc Sophie’s. She couldn’t catch her breath. Her heart was racing like a runaway train. She was bouncing all over the seat, holding on for dear life. “You drive it…like you stole it,” she managed between gasps.

 “Just breathe nice and slow,” Allie said as she sped back up Main then turned right. “In and out, nice and slow. You’re safe. Everything’s all right. We’re already on Doc Sophie’s road. See?”

“I think it’s my heart,” Kendra said.  It was broken, that was what it was. Dax had broken it. She’d ruined everything with him and he’d left her and he was never coming back.

“Hey, hey hey, easy now, come on. Breathe.”

“I can’t get any air. I can’t get any—”

The car stopped. Allie tapped the horn twice, then jumped out and came around. Kendra got out too, seeing the Big Falls Family Clinic sign on the lawn. Her legs were shaking so hard she could hardly stand on them. Allie pulled Kendra’s arm around her shoulders, and helped her up the front steps and onto the porch of the big white Victorian. She tried not to lean on the small, pregnant woman too much. The door opened and a redhead came out to take over.

“I’ll call her sister,” Allie said.

She tried to say no, don’t do that, but there wasn’t enough air in the whole place to fill her lungs and consciousness seemed to be swimming away.

“Hey, sweet sister mine.” Kiley’s voice was soft, and so was the hand that stroked Kendra’s hair up off her forehead. She was lying on a bed, but this wasn’t a hospital. The windows were floor to ceiling, forming a curve in an alcove with a padded Victorian settee. A hanging ivy trailed all the way to the floor. Kiley was smiling down at her. “How do you feel?”

“Fine. I’m fine.” She pushed herself up onto her elbows. “Where am I?”

“Sophie’s clinic.”

Right. Allie had brought her. She was at Doc Sophie’s. “Did I have a heart attack? Shouldn’t I be in a hospital?”

 “It wasn’t your heart, Kendra. Sophie says it was acute anxiety.”

Kendra begged to differ, but as she looked around the room, she saw a little heart monitor blipping away, and she figured if it had been her heart, Doc Sophie would know it. Being a McIntyre, she’d probably had the best education there was.

“What happened this morning, Kendra? Rob said you came to the stable looking for Dax, then left without even coming in to say hello.”

She looked sharply at her sister. Did she not know, then? Had Dax not told her?

No, of course he hadn’t told her. Dax wouldn’t tell a pregnant woman that her father might’ve been kidnapped and her sister was trying to scam him to save his life, unless she was lying about that. He probably thought she was.

“Kendra?” Kiley was waiting for an answer. “Did you find Dax? Did you guys have a fight?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I think he’s…I think…I think it’s over.” Saying it out loud made her throat close, and she had to swallow hard before she could speak again. “He can never trust me again after what I did. I should’ve known that.”

Kiley sighed heavily, and finally said, “You really…felt something for him this time, didn’t you?”

“I did then, too. I always have. I just…” She shook her head rapidly, pushed herself the rest of the way up, and swung her legs off the bed. “I am who I am, you know? I’m not ashamed of it.”

There was a tap on the door, and Sophie came in. “Hey girls. Kiley, can I have a minute with your sister?”

“Sure.” Kiley leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll be right outside.”

“Good. I’ll need a ride back to my car.”

“Your car’s at The Long Branch.” She left the room before Kendra could ask how it had got there.

Sophie said, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay.” She sighed. “I can write a ‘script for something calming, if you want.”

“Do you think I need one? I mean, is this kind of thing likely to happen again?”

“Has it ever happened before?”

The day they took her dad away. The day they took Kiley away. They day Kendra had to move in with her first foster family. “Yeah. I guess it has.”

“Then it could happen again. There are some tools for coping with stress. Meditation. Yoga.” She ignored Kendra’s eye roll. “Also drink more water, eat more veggies, avoid alcohol.” She shook a tiny brown bottle. “Take one of these only when nothing else works. Just one. It’s fast-working.”

“Thanks.” She took the bottle, looked around for her purse.

“Your clothes and things are over there.” Sophie pointed to a chair where her stuff was folded and stacked. It had floral upholstery and scrolled wooden arms and legs. “You can go ahead and get dressed now. Call me if you need me, okay? You have my number.”

“I will. Thanks, Sophie.”

Sophie turned for the door, then paused, and turned back. “You know, women need other women. I’m here for you if you ever want to talk.”

Kendra lowered her head. “That’s sweet of you. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”