Cliff kept saying it was fine.

But it felt broken.

When they arrived home, Cliff went back to his house, and Pax didn’t have an ounce of spirit left to pester him.

He moped back to his place, limbs heavy, head pounding.

Luca wasn’t in, and Pax wasn’t in the mood for chatting anyway. He schlepped himself to bed and stayed there.

He slept in until ten o’clock.

He swung out of bed, bladder near bursting. He needed to dash for the bathroom.

First though, his phone. He clutched it hard.

A missed message.

Not from Cliff demanding he get his ass out of bed for their morning run.

From Tony. A shared joke with all the guys.

He’d waited weeks for the Three T’s to include him in their group messages, and now? They were the last people he wanted to hear from.

He relieved his bladder and dragged himself to the kitchen for water. Luca was in the living room kneeling before the coffee table spread with electronics. Beyond him, the sliding doors were open.

Pax forced himself to stare at the coffee table. “What’re all these gizmos?”

Gizmo. Great word choice. That spun his thoughts to the floppy-eared dog atop the hill, which made him think about another big red dog, and it all led back to Cliff.

Cliff and his claim that everything was “fine.”

“ . . . and that makes up the motherboard.”

Pax blinked. “Sorry? Say that again?”

Luca cocked his head and eyed him. “Do you really want to know what this is?”

“Um, yes?”

“Okay, you are acting weird.”

“No, I just . . . I’m dying to know what that plate of sparkling metal wires does. Think if you plug it into me it’ll jump-start my spirit?”

“Something is happening with you, Pax Polo.”

“That obvious?”

Pax glimpsed movement next door and beelined out onto the deck. It was cloudy today and the air was thick with moisture. Pax hugged his bare arms as he watched Cliff clean up around the living room. He took the cushions off the sofa and pulled out gifts hidden in a stowaway drawer.

Look over. Look over. Look over.

Cliff didn’t. He set the gifts at the bottom of the Christmas tree, pulled out of a crouch, and stared at the fir. He reached out and fingered one of Pax’s ornaments. Oh God, he looked sad.

Pax scrubbed his unshaven jaw, shoulders slumping with an awful weight.

Luca murmured behind him. “You want to talk?”

Pax couldn’t make eye contact with Luca. Keeping his head down, he moped back inside. “I fucked up.”

He slouched up the stairs and crawled back into bed. It was too bright, and he yanked the thick blanket over his face.

Sometime later, Luca shuffled into his room, calling his name. He sat on the bed.

Pax curled onto his side and blinked inside the dark cave of blankets.

“You’ve been in here two hours,” Luca said.

“Feels like longer.”

“You want to get out of bed?”

“Yes.” Except he couldn’t move.

Luca tugged his blanket off his head, sending cool air across Pax’s wet lashes. He sucked in a breath.

“I’m feeling bad,” Pax croaked. Paused. “I’m not used to it.”

Luca hopped off the bed and plucked up the angel. “What happened with Cliff?”

“How do you know it has to do with Cliff?”

“English is my third language. Italian, my second. Emotion, my first.”

“That is easily the corniest line you’ve said.”

“It brings a smile to your lips,” Luca said, gesturing with the angel to his face. “In my books, corny can’t be a bad thing.”

Pax shut his eyes. Luca. The kid was sincere, sweet, and heartfelt. He deserved the very best in life. Deserved it from everyone, including Pax.

“Cliff always thought I was ‘friending’ him for a reason.”

“From the beginning?”

“Yeah.”

“So why are you sad?”

“There’s a difference between someone thinking something and knowing something.”

Luca frowned, and Pax continued, “Thinking comes with a little hope attached. In this case, I think Cliff hoped, even though it was unlikely, he hoped that he was wrong. Knowing takes the hope away. I made him feel like a pawn, Luca. I hurt him, and it sucks. I want to give him the hope back.”

“Tell him you’re sorry,” Luca said.

Pax sighed. He’d already apologized and Cliff had given a two-word reply: It’s fine.

“It’s not enough.” His eye caught on the time. “Shouldn’t you be on your picnic with Bianca?”

“I’m right where I should be.”

“But we planned it in such detail. You bought a picnic basket and checkered blanket. Henry will win.”

“If he is who she wants, then I wish them happiness. Come.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere that isn’t the bed. It doesn’t matter.”

Pax blinked back the heat in his eyes, but it wasn’t enough. A little tear dribbled to his temple. He stared at the ceiling. “I wasn’t meant to fall in love with him.”

“I don’t think he planned on it, either. Seems to be inconveniencing both of you.”

Pax wiped his eyes. “What’s he doing?”

Luca abruptly left the room and returned twenty seconds later with a walkie-talkie. “What’s he doing?” he asked into it.

Bianca’s voice crackled down the line. “Lying in bed with headphones on, staring at Pax’s picture on his corkboard.”

Pax scrambled to his knees, water lifting and dipping under him. He sniffed, chuckled, and sniffed again. “How very emo.”

Luca grinned, and offered him the walkie-talkie.

Pax clutched it. “Tell him . . . tell him he’s a geek. He should clear his funk by churning out his How to Catch a Criminal thesis.”

There was a half-minute of silence, and then: “He says he’s taking a moment. That he’s fine.”

Pax clenched the walkie-talkie. “Pass me over to him.”

“Okay,” Bianca said distantly. “He has you.”

He does.

“Yes, Apollo?” Cliff said, sounding tired.

Pax gathered all his charm. “Remember when you were the shrew? Go back to that.” He paused. “Please?”

A long moment passed, and then Cliff crackled down the line. “Write another song.”

Pax spent the afternoon calling acquaintances and pulling strings and spent the evening chauffeuring Luca and Bianca to Larnach castle.

He’d ruined Luca’s lunchtime picnic, and he hoped the sunset picnic—catered food, a small bottle of champagne, and heat lamps—that he organized for atop the battlements made up for it.

While the two lovebirds confessed their feelings to each other, Pax snuck out of sight, around the gardens, smiling like a lunatic to himself remembering the Christmas Carousel.

He texted Cliff.

Later, hours later, Pax drove a laughing Bianca and Luca home. He kept glancing at the two in his rearview mirror, ensuring no hands grazed where Cliff wouldn’t want them. Such restraint. He ought to take lessons.

“Bianca,” Pax said as they drove around the rocky peninsula. “Please say you choose Luca over Henry.”

She met his eye in the mirror, and then glanced back at Luca, her smile faltering. Pax concentrated on the road, frowning in the following quiet.

“We’ve decided to be friends,” Luca said.

Pax wished he could see Luca’s face. He didn’t sound upset, but . . . he’d worked so hard to make Bianca love him.

“Friends?” Bianca stared out at the sea. “You’re choosing Henry?”

Bianca whipped her head around. “No. I’m not choosing either. I like Luca and Henry, and I . . . I want us to all stay friends. That feels more important.”

“What about bumping uglies, Bianca? Isn’t that why you’ve wanted to sneak about?” Bianca’s eyebrows lifted, and Pax winced at his outburst. “Um, maybe don’t tell your brother that I suggested that.”

“I was angry at Cliff,” she said. “I used all you boys to make him see he couldn’t stop me. I hate that it’s true, but I have to admit if there’s a villain in our gang, it’s me.” She swallowed audibly. “That’s why I can’t accept either Henry or Luca as my boyfriend. I’m not mature enough to be a good girlfriend yet.”

“Oh,” Pax said, throat tight.

“I’m not saying I’ll forget about cute boys—I am still a teenage girl. I don’t want to dick myself silly. I want to finish school and save heartache for university.”

Pax bit his lip and concentrated on driving. “You’re a smart girl.”

She laughed. “Half the time.”

Once they were home and Bianca had gone back to her place, Luca and Pax turned on a video game and played.

Pax lost a third time and tossed the controller onto his lap. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Her confession makes me respect her more.” Luca pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed. He held it against his ear. “Shakespeare.” A pause. “You want to come over and fight? I need some real competition.” Luca grinned, and Pax flipped him the bird. “And bring popcorn.”

Pax heaved himself out of the beanbag. “Does Henry know there’s no chance with Bianca?”

“Why else do you think I’m inviting him over? Misery loves company.”