It was cold outside. I told myself it was not because Mr Ambrose was staring at me. He wasn’t even here. It was just the winter. Cold is perfectly normal in winter. Still…it felt as if two dark, sea-coloured eyes were burning into my neck with permanent frostbite.
Relax, Lilly. You are doing nothing wrong. You are an independent girl, and can go on romantic walks with whomever you choose. Even if it’s not the one you’d actually like to be walking with.
Mr Ambrose had to learn a lesson. He had to understand that even if I didn’t want anyone but him, I was, theoretically, perfectly within my rights to choose anyone else, whether it be the King of England, the shoeblack in the local tavern, or Captain James Carter. Only once I had managed to hammer this fundamental principle into his thick head would it be possible for us to have a future.
Really, Lilly? So you have to go on a romantic walk with one man to secure your future with another?
All right, maybe my logic was a little bit unconventional, but then again, so was Rikkard Ambrose.
And besides…
Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced up at Captain Carter. Poor man… The way he was gazing at me, with that gleam in his eyes…
He had the words ‘love confession incoming’ practically tattooed on his forehead. He was full to bursting with romance! If I didn’t let him vent it soon, it would explode. What might he do then? Start painting the walls of Battlewood pink? Dance through the halls, writing valentines across all the ancient portraits? There was no way to tell.
We walked through the silent winter day, the noise of our footsteps muffled by the soft flakes underfoot. His hands nervously worked at his lapels, tugging and readjusting every other second. Every time he threw a nervous glance my way, I could have sworn he was going to say something. But he didn’t. He waited until we reached a small grove of trees. Frost sparkled on the branches, and a bird or two hopped from twig to twig high above. They weren’t songbirds singing a beautiful melody, but still…
My heart started to beat faster.
Captain Carter halted, opened his mouth, and-
-closed it again.
Bloody hell, what was taking him so long? One measly little love confession couldn’t be that difficult, could it? I love you, do you love me, too? No, thanks. Oh well, too bad. That was pretty much it, right?
Taking a deep breath, the captain turned towards me, gazing deep into my eyes.
‘Miss Linton, I…um…’
That was it.
Miss Linton I um?
That was his best effort? If that was all he could manage, he shouldn’t be surprised when I told him no. What was the matter with him? His eyes were boring into me with an unnatural intensity, his cheeks were flushed, and the muscles in his jaw were working overtime. Was he having a seizure? None of my other suitors had looked like this when asking for my hand. But then…they probably hadn’t been in love.
Did I look like this when I looked at Mr Rikkard Ambrose?
What a horrifying thought. I would have to take a mirror with me next time and check.
Captain Carter was still chewing on air. I decided to throw the poor man a bone and start the conversation.
‘What happened with the man who attacked you?’ I asked. ‘Did you ever find out who it was?’
He snatched the harmless topic of kidnapping attempts as if it were a lifeline.
‘No. No, I have no idea who is after me.’ Gazing into the distance, he shook his head. ‘I can’t think of a single reason why anyone would want to harm me. Oh, sure, there are some officers I’ve disagreed with over the last few years, and the locals in Newcastle probably weren’t too thrilled about my involvement in putting down the strike, but my fellow officers are gentlemen. If they wanted satisfaction from me, they would call me out. And the locals…there were hundreds of other soldiers there. Why single me out? It doesn’t make sense. No, there’s something there I don’t see yet. Some dark plot is afoot.’
You bet a plot is afoot! Especially regarding a certain foot of a certain man who would like nothing better than to crush you beneath his heel.
‘But the thing I’m worried about most,’ he continued, abruptly returning his gaze to my face, ‘is that they might be after you.’
‘Me?’
‘Yes. After all, I was on the way to visit you when this happened, wasn’t I? What if it’s somehow connected with you and your family? That man your brother works for, that Mr Ambrose…he seems like a man who has a lot of enemies.’
Yes, including you, I’m afraid.
‘No. No, I don’t think so.’
‘Miss Linton, please.’ Reaching out, he took hold of my hands. My heart made a jump. His warm brown eyes suddenly seemed hot enough to melt the snow around us. He was staring at me with an unsettling intensity. ‘Please take this seriously. If something happened to you…’
‘Believe me.’ I gave his hands a gentle squeeze. ‘Whoever it was that pulled a sack over your head that day, they were not after me.’
Though they might be, if they find out who invented Prince Utairah Jafri fi al Qurram Qumrah III.
‘I wish I could be so sure,’ the captain murmured, still not letting my hands go. ‘I wish….’
His voice drifted off into nothingness.
‘What?’
‘I wish I could always be there to protect you. Always at your side.’
Ah. It was coming. Well, it was about time!
‘Miss Linton, I have something to ask you. Something very important.’
Finally!
I gave him an encouraging smile. ‘Shoot.’
Taking a deep breath, he stood straight and took a firmer hold of my hands. ‘I have long thought about this, long searched my feelings. I can’t deny it any longer. Since the moment we first met, I knew-’
‘-that I was someone special? Someone who would have a place in your heart?’ I suggested.
‘Well, um…yes. But I never would have guessed how special a place, how important. Every time we danced together, every time you smiled at me, every time I held you in my arms, I felt-’
‘-our connection growing stronger and stronger, until you couldn’t resist any longer?’ Holy moly, I was on a roll.
He blinked. ‘Err…yes. That’s pretty much it. I simply couldn’t deny it any longer. I am completely and utterly-’
‘-in love with me?’
I grinned up at him. He tried to look stern, he really tried. But he was Captain James Carter. After about two seconds, he grinned back at me (in a really stern sort of way).
‘Miss Linton! I appreciate your assistance, but I’m supposed to be the one doing the talking here!’
‘I do apologise. Pray continue.’
‘As I said - well, you said, actually - I am completely and utterly in love with you and…’
He trailed off, looking down at me with an almost wistful smile on his face. ‘This isn’t going the way I hoped, is it?’
‘Don’t let me discourage you. You’re doing a very good job so far.’
‘Good enough to get a “yes”?’
Gently, I freed one hand from his grip and placed it on his arm. ‘Maybe not quite.’
Raising his chin, he took a step towards me. ‘I’ll try anyway.’
‘I thought you might.’
‘Miss Lillian Linton, I love you. I love your fiery spirit. I love the way you dance and laugh and live to the full, and always fight for what you believe in. Will you-’
‘-marry me?’ I guessed.
‘Bloody hell, that was supposed to be my proposal!’
I smiled up at him apologetically. ‘Sorry.’
Silence stretched between us. I gazed up into his face, the face of one of my best friends in all the world, and wondered how things had come to this? How had I not seen this in him before that day in Newcastle? How could I have missed it?
‘Well?’ he asked, his voice hardly more than a whisper. ‘Will you?’
Oh, right. Blast! I hadn’t answered yet.
‘Captain…James, I…’
There must have been something in my expression (or maybe in the way I didn’t throw my arms around his neck, crying ‘Yes, darling, Yes, God bless you! I’ll be yours forever and ever and ever!’), because his eyes narrowed, and he sucked in a breath.
‘There’s someone else!’
I blinked. ‘Wait? What? I didn’t say that!’
‘You don’t have to.’
‘Will you at least let me give you my answer?’
‘Why?’ His lips twitched into a smile - one of the old Captain Carter smiles, the ones I recognised as belonging to my friend. ‘You wouldn’t let me finish my proposal, either.’
I punched his arm. ‘Be serious!’
‘I am being serious.’ And he was. No matter that he was still smiling, his face somehow was the most serious I had ever seen. ‘There’s someone else, isn’t there?’
I hesitated for a moment. Never, ever had I admitted to anyone I knew that there was someone. Someone special. Someone my heart belonged to. But if there ever was a time to be brave, it was now.
‘Yes.’ The word was a whisper, carried away on a cold winter breeze. ‘Yes, there is.’
‘Is he good to you?’
I considered the question. I considered it for a quite a long time. And finally, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips, I gave the only possible answer. ‘I wouldn’t say “good”. I’d rather say… “adequate”.’
His grip on my hand tightened. ‘Has he done something to hurt you? Lilly…Miss Linton, I will-’
‘No, no!’ Raising my free hand, I gently touched a finger to his lips, silencing him. ‘It’s not like that at all. He is what I want. What I need.’
‘You could do so much better,’ he whispered.
I smiled. ‘You don’t even know who it is I am talking about.’
‘It doesn’t matter. You are you. You can always do better.’
‘Even better than you?’
‘Of course.’
‘You’re silly!’
One corner of his mouth curved up in a smile. Still incredibly full of sadness but, yes, it was a smile. ‘That’s part of my charm.’
‘Yes. Yes, it is.’
‘But…I’m not charming enough?’
I tried to sound gentle when I answered. Gentle when talking to a man…what a novel experience.
‘No.’
Just as gently, I slipped my hands from his grasp and took a small step back. He looked after me as if he were Menelaus, and I was Helena, disappearing in the distance.
‘If you change your mind…’
‘I’m sorry. I won’t.’
‘I thought not. Well, then…’
He fell silent. For a while, we just stood there, gazing at each other. Reflected in his eyes I saw flashes of a future, a life that might have been - and maybe it would have been a happy one. But for me?
No.
There was only one man for me. And his name was-
‘I hope,’ said a cold voice from the shadow of the trees, ‘I am not interrupting anything?’
-crap, crap, crap!