It was what Diego wanted, but he couldn’t figure out why it was so hard to completely embrace it. He was left almost speechless when Alan called his office and said, “My answer is yes. I want to go out together.”

Diego began to ask, “What changed your mind?” Instead, he successfully held his tongue. Asking that sort of question could lead to Alan changing his mind again.

Alan closed the call saying, “I’m looking forward to it. I’m sorry it took me so long to say yes. I don’t have a good excuse for that.”

After climbing out of the shower, Diego stared at himself in the mirror. He knew that he might regret the tattoos that covered much of his torso by the time he was thirty years older, but Alan liked them. Diego remembered the long thin index finger tracing the contours of skulls and flower blossoms while they exchanged soft words about nothing in the aftermath of the border shooting. He longed to be naked with Alan again and feel the touch of Alan’s fingertips on his bare skin.

“Damnit! Why can’t I get this right?” Diego combed through the unruly black hair on top of his head one more time. Struggling with the comb was nothing new, but he wanted to be perfect for Alan. Diego couldn’t tolerate any imperfections. He winced as another wave of emotion welled up inside.

It all felt like a battle. His hair wasn’t right. He couldn’t decide on the right shirt to wear. Diego wanted to wear an expensive suit or at least a sports jacket. Alan was worth that, but they told each other on the phone it should be casual, and they wanted to set aside any obligations. It was to be a no-strings-attached dinner.

Diego tugged on his jeans and grumbled, “The next time we’re going out in style.” He mused about driving to the Twin Cities for a weekend with Alan and staying in the most expensive hotel they could find. He would splurge for the best dinner and wake up in the morning between lush Egyptian cotton sheets cuddled into Alan’s long arms.

Diego stared at himself in the mirror in a plaid, casual shirt and the jeans. At least the shirt was tailored perfectly. It clung firmly to his fit body. He knew that Alan would notice.

* * *

They met at Diego’s favorite Mexican restaurant in Red Wing. It had a large main dining room, but the host immediately ushered them into a back section that held only four other tables. Diego grinned, “It’s a special room for friends of the family.”

“You know them well?” asked Alan.

“Well enough.” Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the owner. He was an older gentleman with silver-streaked hair. He proudly announced, “We’re not taking your order unless you have something special in mind. I will bring you a special meal from the best of today’s ingredients.”

Diego looked across the table at Alan. “Does that work for you?”

Alan nodded. “How can I say no to that. I feel pampered already.”

Diego watched Alan relax as he steered their conversation away from trucks, bullets, and bigoted neighbors. Instead, he talked about a grand tour of Europe and mentioned the weekend idea in the Twin Cities. Alan said, “I loved living in Germany, and the Middle East was fun, too. I would love to have you show me around Mexico sometime.”

“You’re a traveler like me,” said Diego. “I’ll take you to Merida in the south and the ruins left behind by our ancient ancestors. Then we’ll go to Oaxaca to eat.”

“Just to eat?”

“Have you ever eaten in Oaxaca? It’s the best food in all Mexico. It might be the best food in all the world. I’ll feed it to you one forkful at a time.” Diego felt his cock thicken between his legs. He imagined lying on a lounge chair together with Alan in a beautiful courtyard. He could hear the trickle of water in the fountain and the heady scent of gardenias in bloom. They would be shirtless or maybe even naked as Diego fed the man that he loved.

“Are you there, Diego?”

“Oh, yes. I’m sorry. I just drifted off into my memories. It happens on occasion.” He hoped they would someday be shared memories with Alan. “And you’ll take me to Germany, and we’ll eat schnitzel?”

“Of course,” smiled Alan. “Have you eaten schnitzel before?”

“I have no idea what it is.”

Alan didn’t get the chance to explain. Three plates of food arrived. They were already feeling full from guacamole and a ceviche appetizer. One dish held chicken smothered in dark mole sauce. The other two included enchiladas and chile rellenos. “I’ll be stuffed to the brim by the time this meal is over,” sighed Alan.

Diego held up a margarita glass. He said, “Let’s make a toast to our reunion at last. We’ve left all the bad things in the world behind, and the good thing is the two of us right here and right now.”

Alan clinked his glass with Diego’s. As he sipped the drink, he looked across the table into Diego’s eyes, and then he quickly looked away. Brody and Dak were right. It was dangerous.

Diego watched his gaze. He didn’t know why Alan looked away so quickly. He set the glass down and began to ask why but caught himself. Progress was progress, and perfection wasn’t necessary at the moment.

They shared a slice of tres leches cake for dessert. Alan sighed, “I haven’t had something this delicious in a long time.” With one bite remaining, Diego slipped it onto his fork and held it out for Alan.

As the bite disappeared, Diego watched his lips. He’d already decided he wouldn’t attempt to bring Alan home, but he wanted a kiss before the evening was over. He asked, “Would you like to go for a walk along the river before we call it a night? I’m enjoying your company, and I don’t want it to end so soon.”

Alan smiled. “I have time for a quick walk. Then I need to get home. I have early morning meetings.”

* * *

Diego led the way in his car driving through downtown and stopping at the park that curved around Red Wing Bay. Alan followed in his car and parked next to Diego.

The park was Diego’s favorite place in his adopted hometown. He watched as Alan began to furtively glance around when he emerged from his car.

Diego said, “Don’t worry. There’s no one here out to get you. I promise.”

Alan exhaled. “I’m sorry that I’m acting like that. I’ve lived a lot of places where you had to be on guard, so I guess it’s a reflex.”

“Let’s walk along by the marina. I never knew there would be people living in houseboats here in Minnesota. I’ve seen them in Seattle in the movies.”

Alan stepped up close, and Diego turned his head to sniff the light sandalwood cologne worn by Alan. He wore simple casual clothes including jeans, but he smelled expensive. The scent unleashed an electric sensation up Diego’s spine.

Alan looked at the houseboats as he walked at Diego’s side along the paved path. He asked, “Would you want to live in one of these? I wonder if I would worry about it sinking.”

“Do you worry about your house burning down?”

“No, not really. I guess it’s always a possibility.”

“Then I don’t think you would worry about your houseboat sinking. People follow patterns. We create habits, and it’s hard to change those.”

“What habits do you have, Diego?”

“One horrible one.”

Alan stopped walking. “Oh, really? Is it one that I didn’t see in the hotel in Texas?”

Diego shook his head. Inside he was smiling. Alan was falling right into his velvet-lined trap. “You weren’t there long enough to see it.”

“And it’s a nasty one?”

Diego nodded. “I admit it. The habit is terrible.” He reached his arms out toward Alan. He was pleased when Alan stepped forward, and he was able to fold Alan into his arms. As Alan turned around to continue gazing at the houseboats, Diego nestled his nose against Alan’s neck.

“So what is it that’s so terrible, Diego? It could be a deal breaker…”

Diego whispered, “It’s terrible how much I love to spoil a man. Particularly a man as handsome as you.”

Alan’s body quivered slightly beneath Diego’s fingertips. He placed a hand firmly on Alan’s chest and was confident he could feel the heart pounding. Alan was silent.

“Don’t you think that’s horrible?”

Alan whispered. “I’ve never experienced it. I’ll have to let you know.”

Diego pushed gently but with a firm touch until Alan turned around. He said, “I won’t go home tonight without a kiss.”

“That’s good because I would never let you leave without one.”

They pressed their lips together as Diego cradled the back of Alan’s head in his right hand and wrapped the left arm around his back pulling their bodies close together. The kiss was intimate, slow, and languid. Diego parted his lips and allowed Alan’s tongue the opportunity to explore until he started to suck lightly on it.

When their lips finally parted, Alan whispered, “There’s so much to sort out.”

Diego said, “But we know this.”

“I think we do.”

As they said goodnight to each other, Diego stood silently nearby and watched Alan climb into his car. He reached up and touched a finger to the single tear forming at the corner of his left eye. He was feeling too emotional to pay attention to anything else happening nearby, including the car that drove in a slow circuit around the parking lot.