It was dumb and naïve, but I’d actually thought Noah would come back last night. I’d pretended I hadn’t been looking out the front window of the shop all evening in hopes of seeing him, had even lied to Gen about it. But I couldn’t lie to myself.
How the hell had I let this happen?
True, Noah and I had been circling each other since that first day more than a year ago, our entire relationship the longest streak of foreplay in history, starting the moment I laid eyes on him. Last night while I’d lain in a bed completely stripped of his presence, I still hadn’t been able to get away from him. I’d stared at the ceiling, replaying every minute of the previous night, and come to a startling conclusion: During each and every one of our tirades, every verbal match, every bout of flirtatious teasing, we’d been headed somewhere. More importantly, I’d been headed somewhere—on a one-way trip to right where I found myself now. A place I’d never intended to go.
In love. With a pastor.
My grandmother had definitely gotten the last laugh. She was no doubt cackling from beyond the grave, pleased that I’d truly fucked myself over this time. Because in the end, love didn’t matter. It was never enough to keep people around—I’d learned that before I’d learned my ABC’s. Despite declaring her love for me, my grandmother had used me solely as proof of my mother’s horrible life choices. And my mom’s love had been conditional on the fact that my very existence served to piss off my grandmother.
No one had ever taken me as I was—imperfect and unapologetic about it—and loved me anyway.
I didn’t know why I thought Noah would be the exception to the rule.
“Harper!” Gen snapped her fingers in front of my face, pulling me from my thoughts.
“What?”
“Girl, what’s going on? I’ve been trying to get your attention for five minutes.” Gen tossed her purse behind the counter and tugged off her coat. “Does it have something to do with the delicious pastor? Because I heard—”
“No talk of Pastor No, please.”
Like the good employee she was, she threw back her head and laughed. “That’s cute how you think I’m gonna drop it.” She perched on a stool, her elbow on the counter, chin in hand, and leaned toward me. “Not happening. Not after what I just heard.”
I rolled my eyes, because I could only imagine what sort of gossip had infested the island. By now, the rumors probably had Noah and me fucking in the pews after Sunday service. “I definitely don’t want to know.”
“Um, yeah ya do.” She nodded, her head bouncing like a bobblehead. “You definitely, definitely do.”
“Look, Gen, it’s been a shitty twenty-four hours. I’m not interested in whatever bullshit the blue-hairs have come up with to desecrate my reputation, and I def—”
“Okay, but how about the part where Pastor No basically told the council to fuck off when they told him to stop dating you? Can we talk about that?”
Mouth agape, I blinked at her. Blinked again. “He what?”
“Yep. When I was at Bundt and Grind this morning, I heard Marge telling Norma about it. Apparently, Marge’s husband is on the council?” Gen waved a dismissive hand. “Anyway, I guess Noah tried to walk away from the discussion, calling the whole thing ridiculous, but they pushed, and then he just kind of snapped. He went on a tirade about how their actions weren’t becoming of the Christians they proclaimed to represent and then defended you and the store and your presence on the island. And then he stormed out, like some kind of pastoral badass. God, can you imagine how hot he must’ve looked while doing that?”
Yeah, I could imagine. Noah was laid-back most of the time, but I’d had a front row seat to exactly what happened when you pushed him too far. And apparently, they’d pushed him too far.
“You guys seriously didn’t talk about it?” Gen asked.
“No…I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning.”
“Then what are you doing in here? He’s looking mighty fine out front, all sweaty and manly, doing your heavy lifting for you.”
I whipped my head to stare out the front window, and sure enough, there he was. Wearing a white T-shirt plastered to his chest and broken-in jeans encasing powerful thighs, he moved one of the huge planters I’d used only as a ruse to irritate him the other day. Standing there, he looked so reminiscent of that first time I’d seen him in the parking lot last fall, except instead of rain forming his shirt to his chest, today it was sweat. From doing my work for me.
After placing a planter directly under the front window, he turned around and started for the other. Jesus, that shirt might as well be nonexistent for all it did to conceal the muscles flexing in his back as he wiped a forearm across his brow before bending to lift the other planter.
“Not sure what you’re still doing standing in here, but I’ve got the store.” Gen lifted her chin in the direction of the front door, a huge grin splitting her face. “Go have a chat with your man.”
My man. Not quite, but I couldn’t think about that. In fact, I didn’t stop to think about anything. Not what I’d say or what I’d do. Didn’t consider the consequences of what might come from me pushing through the door and standing there, outside, in front of prying eyes as Noah placed the second planter to the right of the front door.
It wouldn’t have mattered, though. Because when he stood to his full height, exhaling a deep breath, every thought fell out of my head, and all I could see was him.
“Good morning,” he said, glancing to the planters before meeting my eyes again. “I wasn’t sure where you wanted them, but I remember they were hugging the door in some pictures of the town from last Christmas.”
I honestly didn’t care where the planters were. Had never cared. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.” He didn’t try to hide how he looked me over, his gaze taking in every inch of me. “I needed to make sure you were happy.”
When was the last time someone wanted to make sure I was happy? Never. I took a step toward him, bringing us within touching distance. Before I could take another one, movement across the street caught my eye. Marge, wife of council member Henry and all-around gossip, looked on, not bothering to conceal the interest in her gaze.
Lowering my voice to make sure it didn’t carry, I asked, “Is that the only reason you came by?”
“No. But I figured it was the most logical excuse to see you, considering.”
Caught off guard by his bluntness, I laughed. “Smooth, Pastor No.” Without conscious thought, I took another step toward him, near enough that I could feel his breath ghosting over my lips. Being this close to him should have short-circuited my brain, but I couldn’t stop darting glances toward Marge, who still stood outside the church, worried about her seeing Noah and me together, considering what had supposedly happened yesterday.
Following my gaze, Noah looked back over his shoulder, his jaw tightening as he saw who was standing there.
Pulling his attention back to me, I reached for his hand. “I heard what you did yesterday. With the council.”
“I stand by what I said. If they feel I’m the wrong person for the job, then they should find another pastor to lead them. I’m not afraid to walk away.” His voice was hard, insistent, and he tossed a look over his shoulder toward Marge.
“Noah…” I squeezed his hand, trying not to think about how perfectly mine fit inside his. “You could lose your job for this. Is it really worth it?” I didn’t say it, couldn’t bring myself to, but what I was really asking was, am I worth it?
His brow furrowed as he brought a hand up to my face, a single finger tracing down my cheek. “When I first came to Temperance Falls, a few of the council members brought up their disappointment in what this shop had become. The choir director at the time pulled me aside and told me the good you do here, though. The therapists for sexual assault survivors, the donations to local organizations helping families in need, the fact that you’re discreet and knowledgeable and have probably saved more marriages on the island than any marriage counselor could have. You are a value to this community, Harper, as is this shop. I won’t let anyone disparage you or it.”
I tried not to let my disappointment show. They were lovely words, but they were words about my store, about my accomplishments—things I never questioned. Nothing about me. Nothing about his feelings for whatever this was between us.
“Plus,” he said, wrapping an arm around me and tugging me right up against the front of him. “You’re the source of my joy. I’ve been obsessed with you since the first time I saw you carrying those bags in the rain. I was drawn to you from the start, and getting to know you has only intensified my attraction. I know you’re not ready, and I know this probably seems too fast, but you are my hope, Harper Davis. I love you, and I know someday I’m going to prove to you that it’s okay to love me back.”
I could only blink at him, having had every ounce of my voice stolen away. I was twenty-eight, had been with my fair share of men, had had fun while doing so. But I’d never once heard those words from a man. I’d assumed if I ever did, I’d go running in the opposite direction as fast as I could. And yet there I was, aching not to run, but instead to crawl inside him and never leave.
Reaching up, I brushed my hand over the growth on his jaw, remembering what it felt like against my neck, over the tips of my breasts, between my legs. “You’re okay being known as the pastor dating the girl who owns a sex shop? Because I’m not selling it. Ever.”
“Absolutely, especially if we get to play with some of the toys now and again.”
I laughed, having no idea how I’d managed to find the perfect man, but nonetheless thrilled about it. “I think that can be arranged.”
He smiled, then his face grew serious again. “Are you okay with me possibly not being the pastor? Because that could change. I’m not giving you up, so I may be saying goodbye to the church.”
There was so much to take in—the fact that this man not only loved me, but was willing to give up everything he knew just to be able to be with me. Going up on my tiptoes, I brushed my lips over his. “I’m not here because you’re a pastor. I’m here because you’re Noah.”
What I’d intended to be a brief kiss, something soft and sweet, Noah redirected with ease. He held me to him with a hand gripping my ass and the other cupping the back of my neck. And then he slid his tongue across my lips until I opened for him. With a moan, he took my mouth just like he’d taken me yesterday: thoroughly and possessively.
Pulling back, he ran his thumb over my bottom lip, his eyes once again serious. “I’m just glad you’re here at all after yesterday. I never meant to make you feel like I wasn’t in this. I completely lose track of time and responsibilities when we’re together. Especially when I’m in your…” He trailed off, his hand slipping into the waistband of my skirt, not stopping until his fingers teased my pussy from behind.
I breathed out a laugh. “You certainly know how to make a girl swoon, Pastor No.” Smiling, I gripped the neckline of his shirt, tugging him closer to me as I bit my lip to stifle the moan threatening to break free. “Wanna lose some more time now?”
“Definitely. But not out here.” He slipped his hand free, causing me to whimper in frustration. With a knowing smile, he guided me along the front of the building toward the staircase leading to my apartment, waving at Gen as we passed the window as if he hadn’t just had his hand on my pussy. Then he leaned in, his lips right next to my ear. “No one else gets to see you the way I do.”
I should’ve hated how he spoke with such possession, but instead, I found myself melting further into him. Because the truth was, I didn’t want to share it with anyone else. Just Noah.
“So, what do you say?” he asked. “Another game of strip Jenga?”
I’d always thought being stuck in a relationship would be the death of me. It was something I’d spent my whole life running from. Now that I faced it, though, it was nothing like I’d anticipated. I didn’t feel scared or claustrophobic, but instead, I felt invigorated at the thought of spending all my nights with him.
“Absolutely. Let’s see if I can win this time…”