Jasper

It was hard letting Mina leave, especially since I worried that somehow Jake had seen her and would be waiting outside for her. I would have walked her down, but that would have been a dead giveaway to anyone surveilling the place, so I had to trust that she would be safe.

I didn’t waste time after she was gone calling Sam. I needed to talk to him about Jake and his behavior, and I had to tell him I wasn’t going to be a part of this new scheme. I needed out, whatever that took. I had limited time, too, since I had to work, so I agreed to meet Sam halfway between my apartment and the bar. This wasn’t something I could do over the phone.

I was waiting when he arrived, sitting in a dark corner of the little dive. The couple of guys at the bar smelled like they’d just crawled out of the sewer, and the lone woman offered to blow me for five dollars. I didn’t want to be bothered. I waved him down, his curls flying obnoxiously around his head and his jowls wiggling. I thought back to the Sam I’d grown up with and hoped I didn’t look this much worse for the wear. How had I survived a stint in prison and come out cleaner and less ragged than he was?

He sat down with a thud across from me and snapped his fingers at the bartender, who rolled his eyes and ambled over, not particularly thrilled to have to work. “Amstel,” Sam barked, and the guy all but threw the bottle at him. “So, what’s the deal, Jasper? Jake came screaming and throwing a tantrum, saying you attacked him.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” But I figured he’d try to spin that story. “Not a chance, Sam. I checked his ass for being a pushy punk who talked to me like some jack off the street. He showed up at my door, unannounced, and tried to muscle his way in when I told him it was a bad time. Then, he disrespected me, calling me a pussy, and got vulgar when he realized I had a woman over.”

“Christ,” Sam muttered. “So, is this the girl we were talking about?”

“Yeah,” I told him. “I don’t sleep around.”

“Did he see her?”

“I don’t think so.” I hoped not. Aside from being dangerous and volatile, I didn’t trust Jake not to stalk Mina and figure out exactly who she was. “Are you hearing what I’m telling you? He went off the deep end, Sam. He’s trying to goad me, told me I didn’t show up to a meeting. I didn’t know anything about a meeting.”

“That’s because he called one at the last minute, saying he had a plan. I’m guessing he purposely didn’t call you.” Sam didn’t like it one bit. I could hear it in his tone. I’d checked my phone, and there were no calls or texts or any other messages. Sam swallowed half his beer in one gulp and then burped loudly. “I don’t know what we’re going to do with him. He’s out of control, and unfortunately, Tyler and Rick seem to sympathize with him.”

Great. So, not only was I going to have a problem with Jake. I was going to have to deal with the fallout from half of my circle of friends. I thought about what I’d told Mina, and what she’d told me, and I realized I might have outgrown this group. Sam was great, but he’d gotten fat and lazy, and he drank too much. Eric was a wreck, his depression and anxiety eating him alive. The other three were apparently greedy bastards who couldn’t show any gratitude for the fact that I’d saved them the experience I went through. I was glad I’d talked to Mina. She was right – I didn’t owe them anything.

“I’m out, Sam. I don’t care what sort of backlash it causes. I’m done. This shit’s gone too far already, and I’m not going to risk going back to prison for a bunch of pricks who want to take the easy way out and not work. You know, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, not having a job and all that.” I’d probably said too much, but I had a point to make, and Mina’s words kept ringing in my head. I was grateful to be free and have a job, and maybe what these assholes needed was to try to pull something off and end up in prison like I was so they would show some damn appreciation for the small things.

He scoffed. “Listen, Jasper, I’m on your side, and I want to help you, but you can’t just walk away like that. We’re a band of brothers, my friend, and it’s not that easy to walk away from a family as connected and as deeply entrenched as we are.”

“Entrenched?” I shouted, slamming my hand on the table and succeeding on getting the attention of everyone in the bar. I lowered my voice so it was barely audible, but I was seething. “If we were so entrenched, why didn’t a single one of you cop to the charges? Why didn’t any of you stay with me when I got arrested and go in with me? Let’s talk about entrenched, right? If that was the case, any one of you could have taken the fall so I could spend the last two months Cindy had by her side. But no, you all ran like cowards and left me in the gutter while my wife rotted away.”

“You told us to go,” Sam scoffed.

“And you should have been as loyal to me as I was to all of you. I gave you freedom. I don’t owe you money. It’s not like I got anything out of it, and I’ve done my time. I won’t be held prisoner by a bunch of lazy, greedy cowards.” I stood up, slapping a ten on the table. “Unless it’s to apologize and say goodbye, don’t bother calling me, either, Sam.” I walked out, knowing that if I stayed, I’d get in a brawl. I didn’t even trust myself on my bike at the moment.

I walked around the corner, trying to find a quiet place to cool off and get my head back on straight. I couldn’t stay long. I had to get to work, and I wanted to at least text Mina before I was on the clock. I was running short on time already, but I wasn’t going to drive in this mood. I was close to taking the train and collecting my bike later. I’d have just enough time to walk over to the bar from the subway station and could talk to Mina on the way if I did that.

But I talked myself down, taking deep breaths and fighting for control. I squeezed my hands into fists and then flexed my fingers, over and over until I could roll my neck without the tension causing me horrible pain. I walked back to my bike, hoping Sam was either still in the bar or already gone. I didn’t see his Hog anywhere, so I mounted my beast and took off, wanting to get away before I could succumb to the chaos of the afternoon.

Mina

Becky had invited me to join her at an engagement party, having a plus one and not having a boyfriend at the moment, but I declined. I didn’t feel like going out with her or any of the girls. In fact, I had decided to start backing away from them. Somewhere along the way, we’d grown apart. I didn’t know if I’d matured more than they had or less, and I didn’t really care. I just needed to go my own way and not worry about them judging me.

I went into the shopping district and looked around, finding myself stopping in front of male mannequins in the window and wondering how Jasper would look in this or that. I knew one thing for sure – he didn’t have a lot of color in his wardrobe, and I wondered if that was by choice or because that’s what he’d gotten his hands on in the short time he’d been out of prison.

When I came across a burgundy collared shirt that was slightly tapered for an athletic fit, I couldn’t walk away. The material was premium, smooth like butter, and I was pretty good with sizing. I bought it for him, along with another in a shade of blue that matched his eyes. It was strange shopping for him, since I wasn’t even sure I’d pick right. And, of course, I’d never bought anything for a guy before in my life, aside from ties and watches for my father. But it felt nice, and I had enough intuition to think he’d like what I picked.

I got home and hung the shirts so they wouldn’t wrinkle, and then I called out for pizza. I didn’t feel like cooking, and I had worked out so many hours lately I knew I could afford the calories. The doorbell rang half an hour later, and just as I closed the door, my phone rang. I nearly dropped the pizza, trying to get it to the kitchen in time to find my phone and answer it.

I got to it on the fifth ring, just before it went to voicemail. “Hello, sexy,” I said. My mood hadn’t been this cheerful in ages.

He laughed. “Well, I like the sound of that. How are you, gorgeous?”

“I’m well, actually. I just got a hot pizza over here. It’s a really distant second to the hot guy on the phone, but it’ll do in a pinch.”

“I miss you, too.” There was something in his voice that rang of sadness, but I didn’t ask about it. If he wanted to tell me, he would. I had decided to trust him implicitly. It was the only way I knew to enjoy a relationship with anyone I truly cared about. “Are you spending the evening alone?”

“Yes. I couldn’t bring myself to get gussied up in black tie and head to a pretentious engagement party with an air-headed girl who has a sense of entitlement and wants to gossip about who had liposuction recently all night. So, I chose the pizza and the television.”

“Sounds like quite a cozy night.”

“Maybe. Oh, I went shopping today, and I got something for you. I hope you like it.” I was a little anxious telling him, but I was terrible with keeping gifts a secret.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said, “but I appreciate the thought. Now, I’m going to have to get you something in return, or I’ll just feel like a kept man.”

There was humor in his voice, so I didn’t think he’d taken offense. “I’ll let you know when there’s something you can get for me. In the meantime, just promise you’ll cook for me every once in a while, and we’re golden.” I glanced up at the clock and frowned. “You’re about to be on the clock, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I had to rush over here. I had a conversation with Sam. You know, the guy who runs the MC. It wasn’t pleasant, but I told him I was done.”

There were implications all over that one. “I’m assuming that’s not going over well, and you won’t just shake hands and say ‘see you around.’” Now, I was worried. I had considered the possibility they wouldn’t be happy, but now I thought it might actually be dangerous.

“It’ll be fine. Sam’s a reasonable man. He’s just got a lot of talking to do to make sure the others stay in line.” He sighed. “Listen, I absolutely need to catch up on some sleep tomorrow, but it’s a late night here. I could, you know, bring you breakfast when I’m done.”

I hesitated. That meant having him over here, at my house. My father’s house, where all the paintings still were. But I’d decided to trust him, and I wasn’t going to offend him by turning him down. Besides, I knew that would be the best wakeup call ever. “Say seven o’clock?”

“That’s perfect. I’ll see you then.” He hung up, and I giggled, wondering why it was funny to think that I didn’t have to give him directions to my place. I assumed he would remember, even after ten years. And this time, when he showed up, I wanted to reward him for the effort. I had no selfish motives at all…other than to rub my body against his.

I settled in on the couch, the pizza on the coffee table in front of me, and I searched for a good movie I hadn’t seen. When that didn’t work, I decided I’d just stream some music. I had a great video playlist, and when it started, I gasped. There it was! The lead singer of one of my favorite bands looked just like Jasper. No wonder I found him so attractive.

I wondered if he could sing.

On a whim, I sent him a text, asking him if anyone had ever told him he looked like this guy. I didn’t expect an answer, but almost instantly, my phone dinged, and I laughed out loud as I read, in all caps, EVERYONE. I was such a lucky woman, and I told myself I would never take that for granted.

I stared at my father’s portrait over the fireplace as the music thumped around me and I chewed the cheesy, saucy slice. He always looked stern, even when he smiled, and I thought about the stress and weight he carried on his shoulders all the time. He hadn’t been born to money. He’d made his fortune himself, through investment banking. He’d been a genius at it. At the same time, I knew enough to know what a gamble that market could be, and I realized now that he should have quit a long time before he died. His heart was trouble, and his retirement might have saved his life. But it was never enough for him. He wanted to leave me so much more, so he kept working even as his heart wanted to give out.

His story wasn’t any different than those men who wanted to use Jasper, who demanded more from him. I’d blamed Jasper all along, when really, it was my father’s own fault. His health was the problem, not the attempted robbery. He would have keeled over anyway, soon enough. And those guys who called themselves Jasper’s friends were just as greedy. It was never enough, and they were too set on their goal to see the truth – their need for money was their own fault.

If I hadn’t taken the time to get to know him, I would have continued misplacing my anger and resentment just like they were, on Jasper’s shoulders. He wasn’t innocent by any means, but he’d paid the price for his mistakes, and neither they nor I could hold him accountable for any further penance.

Taking a deep breath, I spoke to my father’s image, as if he could hear me. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m sure you wanted me to always see you as the hero, to think you were always right and never made mistakes. And you’re probably rolling in your grave because of who I’ve chosen to care about. But you were wrong, and so was I. Jasper’s a good man, and I think you’d be happy about the way he treats me. And what he wants for me.”

I was quiet for a minute, reflecting on the past and all the time I spent worshiping my father for the man I though he was. Maybe I’d grown jaded, but I saw him as a normal man now rather than a god, even in this picture that showed him in such a stately, arrogant position. “I miss you, Daddy, but I’m okay. And I have what I need now, what I’ve been missing my whole life. I hope you can be proud of me, if you’re out there, watching me.”

I didn’t know what I believed about the afterlife, and I wondered, too, if Jasper’s late wife could see that he was finally happy, finally ridding himself of the baggage he carried. If she was, I hoped she was happy for him and that she approved of me. I silently promised myself I would do everything I could to make sure I never gave her or Daddy a reason to doubt us being together.