27

“I WANT TO have a sleepover Friday,” Saylor tells me Wednesday night. I ask her who all she wants to come and her answer is simple.

“Everyone.” I’m guessing everyone is Donnawayne, Jeffery, Rookie, Carrie, Shady, and me. When I ask her to confirm this, she says yes. So I call them all and they assure me they will be here Friday afternoon. My job is to make sure there is plenty of food and clean towels in the bathroom. I can do that.

Saylor’s ability to walk has been diminished to only a few steps every day. And those have to be assisted. I haven’t let her out of my sight for fear of her falling.

Her arm movement is better, but after dropping and shattering several glasses, she demanded I get her some cups with lids. Sometimes she gets frustrated at herself. Sometimes we make jokes about it and laugh. But I’ve yet to see it sadden her or get her down. She seems to have a solution to everything. An electric scooter inside the house is where I drew the line. Not that I minded her having it, I just didn’t want her to break her neck.

No one has been informed of Saylor’s current issues, and I wonder if I should tell them without her knowing. But she can still read my thoughts, so she answers my unspoken question.

“You can call Shady and let him know about me. Tell him to tell the others. I’m sure Donnawayne and Jeffery are gonna fuckin’ lose it.” It still makes me smile when I hear her cuss, but not as much as it does to call Shady and tell him he has to break the news to the drama queens.

Saylor’s hair is starting to grow back. It’s just a little blond fuzz on top of her head, but it’s there. When I asked her if she wanted me to shave her legs, a peaceful look came over her face and she smiled.

“There’s not any hair on my legs.” Because I’m an insensitive idiot, not only do I ask why, but I do it in a condescending way as if the thought of her not having hair on her legs was ridiculous. I’m kicking myself, but Saylor is unaffected. She just laughs and shakes her head. Then gives me an explanation that I wasn’t expecting.

“Because I prayed that it wouldn’t.”

—

It’s finally Friday, and although there is no place I want to be than in Saylor’s company, I can’t help but feel a little excited about having some male company.

Shady walks in first, shooting me daggers before turning on that big-ass goofy grin for Saylor, who is sitting on the couch. While he says hello, I hug Rookie and Carrie, thanking them for coming.

When Donnawayne and Jeffery walk in hand in hand, I nod. But their red, swollen eyes tell me they didn’t take the news well, and that has me saying fuck it and hugging them too. It’s just a one-armed hug, but it’s a milestone for me. The sad looks fade and smiles are replaced when they see Saylor.

Everyone is happy and nobody mentions or complains about the amount of time it takes Saylor’s arms to embrace them in a hug. When I hear her laugh and watch her eyes light up at the faces she loves, I can’t help but stand in line and patiently wait for a hug too.

—

“Hey, baby,” Saylor calls to me from the pallet party in the living room. I’m popping popcorn in the kitchen, upholding my promise to be a good host. I go to her, leaning down over the couch so I’m in her line of sight. She yelps at my sudden appearance, then laughs and pokes her lips out for a kiss, which I give to her.

“What’s up, beautiful?” I ask, and her eyes sparkle at my words. I’ve told her she was beautiful many times, but I’ve never addressed her as if her name defined the word. Maybe I should have.

“Um.” Saylor smiles, forgetting what she was going to say. Her cheeks redden and she laughs, still stunned by my words. “I was wondering if I could borrow you a minute. You see, it seems that I have to pee.” I give her my best smile, and I know if she could, she would reach out and touch me. So I take her hand and put it on my cheek.

“You know me too well,” she says so only I can hear. I kiss her palm and shoot her a wink, then scoop her in my arms and lift her over the couch. “Well that was subtle.” She laughs, her head falling back as I carry her down the hall.

This is something I’ve delighted in, carrying her in my arms, and something she enjoys too. After all we’ve been through, there is no more room for embarrassment or shame. I just do what has to be done and she lets me. There is no sacrifice on my part when it comes to her. It’s my duty, and one I enjoy doing.

I deposit her back on the couch with a thud and Donnawayne frowns at me, but Saylor laughs.

“Oh, don’t be so serious, hon. I’m sure if you asked nicely he would do the same to you,” she tells him and everyone laughs. Everyone but me, of course.

I grab the popcorn, then lay on the couch between Saylor’s legs and place her hand in my hair where I know she wants it. I hear the click of the camera and I look over to find Carrie snapping a picture of the two of us together. Soon, we are all piled on the couch and since I have the longest arms, I’m instructed to take the picture. It takes three tries but, eventually, the selfie is approved by Saylor.

Later that evening, I look out at the scattered bodies that cover the mattresses on my living room floor while Saylor painstakingly writes in her diary. She and I are on the couch, and on the floor next to us lay Donnawayne, Jeffery, Carrie, Rookie, and Shady, on the end.

I wish there were more days like this, but I doubt there would be. It was a special day, for a special girl, and although she was deserving of more days like this, men like me and my brothers were lucky beyond measure to just experience one.

It was no secret that I believed in God, and it was no secret that I didn’t deem myself worthy of his love. But tonight, I tell him the words Saylor has longed for me to say. I tell him I know he exists because I see him in the eyes and feel him in the heart of my love. I tell him I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt. And then I thank him for giving me the gift of life. It didn’t happen when I was born, it happened the day I met her. And even if this was the last day I had, it was way more than I ever deserved.

Before I fell asleep that night, I told Saylor I loved her. And she told me back. And then she smiled at me, closing her left eye on a wink. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day for me, and a perfect ending to a beautiful life for Saylor Samson.