CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Since the last spa afternoon did a lot to lift my spirits, I decide to go again a few weeks later. Because I do everything last minute, they can’t fit me in right away this trip and I end up killing time in the waiting area. The chairs are comfy. There’s ample reading material and healthy beverages available, so I don’t mind the wait.
Recognizing the sweet, floral scent tickling my nose, I glance up. There’s something oddly familiar about the woman across from me, but I can’t place her right away.
She flicks her eyes my way and catches me staring. Lucky for me, she’s used to being stared at and flashes me a cool smile.
"You look familiar," she says in a questioning tone.
"You too."
She sticks out her hand. "Inga March."
I’ve heard that name before. It’s not exactly common.
"You’re Rock and Bricks’s attorney, right?"
All at once, the memory returns.
The stripper who sucked my boyfriend off in the supply closet. Fan-fucking-tastic.
"Uh, yeah, I was."
"I haven’t seen much of Rock in the last year or so."
Good, you’ve seen enough of him.
But her admission piques my curiosity. I can’t deny I’d love to know if they’d had many recent closet encounters. "No?" I ask, striving for a normal tone and probably failing.
"Nah. He’s never at the club anymore when I’m there."
My eyebrow quirks, so she continues.
"Oh, I’m just a feature dancer. I come in every couple of weeks or so. But we always, and I mean always, used to fuck when I’m in town."
Vomit threatens to rise at the mental image she’s just painted for me, but she seems oblivious.
"The regular girls say he’s never there anymore. They think he’s been seeing someone seriously for the last year and that she doesn’t like him being around all those naked chicks." Inga giggles and rolls her eyes.
A boulder settles in my stomach. My pulse thunders in my ears at her words. Rock’s seeing someone else. I’m stunned and so heartbroken. I warned him I couldn’t do this if he wasn’t going to be serious, but he’s apparently already serious with someone else.
All those nights he’s out on "club business" he can’t talk about suddenly take on a new meaning. I’ve been so stupid. Christ, I’m an adult, but so clueless about men it’s pathetic.
Striving for a nonchalant tone, I ask, "Why not call him? You guys seemed pretty tight."
She arches one perfectly sculpted, skinny little eyebrow at me. "Honey, please. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s hot as hell, and a great fuck, but Rock’s not the type of guy who will ever settle down with just one woman."
Damn, she’s blunt. "Oh."
"From what I hear, he used to fuck half the girls at the club on the regular. Guy like him ain’t ever gonna give up all that young, hot, free pussy. Then, I’ve got my porn gigs so…yeah, that wouldn’t have really worked out for us."
"I see what you mean."
She nods at me as if she’s taught me some great lesson today.
Maybe she has.
"Excuse me," I mumble.
I tell the girl behind the desk that I’ve changed my mind. She urges me to make an appointment for next week, but I can’t stand breathing the same air as Inga for another second. As soon as I get behind the wheel, I whip my phone out and send Rock a text. If I call him, I’ll start crying the minute I hear his voice.
Need to talk to you, in person.
Almost immediately, he shoots back.
Drop by house, I’m in the garage.
I take a lot of liberties with the speed limit. It’s a miracle I don’t get pulled over as I fly through Empire. My hands are shaking, and I scream with frustration at every damn red light.
I can’t do this. I can’t be someone’s piece on the side. I’m just not cut out for it. The feelings I have for Rock already overwhelm me. If he tells me I’m one of many, I need to prepare myself to cut him loose now before we get any more entangled.
As promised, I find him in his garage. Both of the big doors in the front are open, and music drifts out into the driveway. The same side door I caught Wrath watching us from is also wide open. That’s not happening today. Maybe never again.
"Hey."
As he stands to greet me, I can’t help admiring his strength and grace. He moves like a big sexy panther or something. He sets down the tool in his hand and wipes his hands on a cloth.
"Hey, doll."
Hearing his voice makes me melt, but before I let him get to me, I need to have this out with him. He seems to sense my unease, especially when he crooks a finger at me to come closer and I shake my head no.
"I ran into Inga today."
His eyebrows shoot up a bit, but other than that, his face shows no emotion. It’s clear he’s waiting for me to continue. "She says you haven’t been around the club much anymore."
"That’s true," he answers slowly.
"For the last year."
He sighs, and his eyes flick down for a brief second. Guilt. Oh my God. I pushed for this, but now suddenly I don’t want to hear what he’s going to say. I think I’d rather be his piece on the side than never be with him at all and hate myself for being so weak.
This is it. The moment I have been dreading. Hope in front of me demanding answers I’m not ready to give her.
She takes a deep, shaky breath. "Are you seeing someone else?"
Not quite the question I expected. Before I can answer, she’s off. "Inga says all the girls at Crystal Ball think you stopped managing the club because you’ve been seeing someone for the last year."
"There’s no one but you, Hope," I answer honestly.
Some of the fight eases out of her, but I can tell she doesn’t quite believe me.
"I will always be honest with you. I may not tell you the whole truth, because I don’t want to put you in danger, but what I do share with you will be true."
She shakes her head, and I know my words didn’t register for her. She’s too worried about whatever shit Inga spewed at her today.
"Okay. She told me about all the other dancers you’ve been with too."
Fucking Inga and her gossipy mouth.
Truth. I promised to give Hope truth.
"Yes, I’ve been with dancers from the club, and I’ve been with girls from the MC. I won’t lie to you. I’ve never treated any of them badly, and I won’t start now just to prove how I feel about you. But as much as you might dislike me saying this, they were pieces of ass."
Her eyes flash with annoyance, but I know it’s because she doesn’t agree with me referring to any woman that way, even if it’s some random I fucked in the past. Heaven help me, but I love her even more for it.
"You are not a piece of ass to me. The minute I knew there was a possibility I’d be able to claim you, I ended every one of those relationships. I took a step back from CB because when I came to you, I didn’t want you worrying about that shit." Well, that, and I didn’t need the temptation, but I keep that part to myself.
She looks skeptical, so I decide to be blunt. "Baby, I haven’t stuck my dick in anyone since the second I decided you were going to be mine."
Her eyes widen, pink staining her cheeks. But from shock, not disbelief. Good, we’re getting somewhere.
"When exactly did you decide that?" There’s no anger behind her words, but I answer with caution anyway.
"When I dropped you off after taking you to the clubhouse for the first time." I avoid the word funeral because I don’t want to cast negative shit all over what I’m trying to get her to understand.
A smile tugs at the corner of her lips, and she shakes her head. "You expect me to believe you went at least a year without sex? When you had a stable of beautiful girls willing to drop their panties for you?"
A soft chuckle at her characterization escapes me, but from the look on her face, she’s far from amused.
"Yes, sweetheart, that’s exactly what happened."
"So you had your choice of available pussy, but you were saving yourself on the off chance that I might want to have a relationship with you one day?"
I bust out laughing hearing her say "pussy," then I tone it down as my brain processes the rest of her words.
"Saving myself sounds a bit extreme."
"What you’re telling me sounds pretty extreme."
I shrug. "It was a year. People have had longer dry spells."
Her eyes narrow, and I realize what I’ve revealed to her. I'm such a fucking idiot. One of the things I love about her is how shrewd she is. I just don’t enjoy it as much when she uses it on me.
Maybe she’ll let it slide.
She speaks very slowly and deliberately so I don’t miss a single word. "How did you know it would only be a year?"
Nope. Damn, I can’t catch a break with her.
Her eyes are killing me, so I focus on my boots.
"I’m terrible with words, Hope, but I want you to understand. I walked away from you once. Didn't think I'd ever see you again. I’ve been such a bastard for most of my life, it figured my punishment would be when I finally met the right woman, she’d be married. I hated being around you, knowing you belonged to someone else. And if I thought he wasn’t taking care of you the way I thought you should be taken care of, I didn’t think I’d be able to stop myself from doing something about it. You didn't need stress or drama like that in your life."
I risk a glance up and find her eyes closed. She’s twisting her fingers and biting her lip. I can’t help but feel like I’m about to throw myself off a cliff. But I started this, and I need to finish. She needs to know.
"When that…changed…yes, I swore I’d make you mine once you’d had some time to deal with everything." Her eyes open, and she stares at me as if I’m crazy. "I couldn’t continue living without you if I didn’t have to."
Her narrowed eyes stay focused on me. "What if I had started seeing someone else? What were you going to do then?"
Now is not the time to throw Sophie under the bus. "I would have fought for you. If Clay hadn’t died, I would have stayed away for good no matter how much I hated it."
"Rock—"
I cut her off. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve the nice, quiet, suburban life you had, with a man who loves you and treats you like the treasure you are. I don’t ever want the bad, dangerous stuff in my life to touch you. You deserve normal, peaceful, and no trouble."
"You’re trouble," she whispers.
"Yes. You know it deep down, doll. You deserve someone good, honest, and clean. I am none of that. I can't give you those things."
"That’s not true."
"Isn’t it? Think hard, Hope."
She blinks twice. "You’re good to me."
I sigh like a sad sack. "Baby, I’m such a selfish bastard for trying to draw you into my world. I don’t want any ugliness to seep into your life."
"You’ve made me happier than I’ve been in so long."
"For how much longer, doll? I’m never going to be a man who slips into a suit and tie and takes you to some lawyer function. I mix with the regular world only when it's required. I don't have patience for small talk and bullshit."
She’s quick to shake her head. "But I don’t care about that stuff. I never have."
My gaze wanders over her beautiful face, drinking in every perfect feature. "But I will expect you to spend time in my world, around the MC. That’s my family, my life. It’s not fair, but it’s the way it is. I will protect you with my life, and my brothers in the club? They will also keep you safe. Just because you’re mine."
Tears glistened in her eyes. Fuck, I hadn’t meant to make her cry.
"Hope? Are you with me?"
"I’m with you."
"Why you crying, doll?"
"I’m scared. You sound like you’re letting me go."
This is where I should tell her how fucking in love with her I am. I want to. I’m so close to the words, but I can’t force them out yet. What I tell her is just as true.
"Honey, I could never let you go. I couldn’t let you go even when I had to. If you want me to, I will. If you decide I’m wrong for you, it will kill me, but I’ll let you go."
She shakes her head harder as more tears fall down her cheeks.
"You know I’m speaking truth here, right?"
She nods once. "Yes."
"Good, because as much as I’ve claimed you, you’ve claimed me. I’m yours as much as you are mine. I mean it. I don’t want to be away from you for more than a second, but believe me—every minute we’re apart, the only pussy I’m thinking about slamming into is yours."
I said it teasingly, but she sucks in a breath and starts crying even harder.
"Why me?" She sniffs and hiccups. "What is it about me that made you so determined?"
I cock my head at her. Is she serious? "You really have to ask?"
"Yes. You could have any woman you wanted. Much more beautiful girls, the dancers. Girls who hang around the club who are dying to be with you. They understand you better—"
"Hope, stop. First, you’re the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on." She gives me this are-you-nuts wrinkled nose face that’s adorable, but I resist the urge to smile. She needs to hear this. "Second, yes it probably would be easier to be with a club girl. Don’t think I haven’t tried."
She flinches at the reminder of other women, but I power through it.
"As much as those girls might understand the club, they didn’t understand me. Your honesty and loyalty unravels me every damn time. You don’t expect things from me. You’re so damn clever. That day in the courtroom, you were terrified when that judge made you represent me. I could see your hands trembling. But you still did it. You gave it everything you had on the spot. You whipped out this eloquent plea on my behalf with no time to prepare. Most people would have half-assed it. You were kind, even though you probably thought I was a degenerate criminal. Then you kept fighting for me when you asked the guard to uncuff me. You didn’t have to do that. No one else would have bothered. That sincere sweetness is what I have been looking for my whole damn life. I knew it when we were standing on the sidewalk talking. You were so adorably frustrated with me. You accidentally flashed me an eyeful of cleavage and had no idea how sexy you were."
She flushes so damn prettily at my revelation.
"Then you told me you were married, and I couldn’t believe it. As if I didn’t have enough obstacles to overcome. I finally found the woman of my dreams, and not only is she a lawyer for fuck’s sake, she’s married. So baby, you don’t ever have to worry about me with anyone else. You’re exactly what and who I want in every way. No one else compares."
She lets out a delectable little laugh, and I relax a little. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"What’s that, doll?"
She settles her hand on the back of my neck, pulling me down to her. "I was shaking because you were so freaking sexy, even in your orange jumpsuit."
Once again, she manages to surprise me. That can’t be true.
"You couldn’t wait to get away from me. I had to practically drag you to lunch."
Her smile fades. "I told you, I’m not a cheater. I loved my husband. We had a good relationship." She pauses and swipes at her cheek, brushing a tear away. I hate that I’ve made her run down this painful memory lane.
"I’m not saying I never noticed another man, but after I met Clay, I never wanted anyone else. And being near you scared the fuck out of me, because I wanted you. My body responded to you in a way that scared the shit out of me."
Of all the things I expected she might say, that didn’t even make the top ten.
Wow is an inadequate response, but it’s all I’ve got. I’m so overwhelmed by what Rock says, I have to pause for a minute to catch my breath. The crazy pull I’ve felt toward him since the day we met has not been in my imagination. He’s aware of it too.
He lives and breathes it.
I frown, remembering my other questions. "Wait, what about Crystal Ball—I thought you owned it?"
"Technically, the MC owns it, but I don't run it day to day anymore. Turned it over to Z and Dex."
I’m shocked, and the obvious question comes out of my mouth. "Why?"
He shrugs and grins at me. "Only one woman I need to see naked."
Oh, damn. He’s killing me.
"But, Inga said you’ve been MIA there for over a year. You gave it up before we even got together?"
He looks really uncomfortable with my probing, but I can’t help it.
His smile fades, settling into something more serious but no less sexy. "Yes. I still have to go there from time to time, oversee some shit. But every day? I’d rather be here working with my hands."
Sure, he doesn’t want me to get the wrong idea. That he gave it up for me. I get that. I force back my smile.
"You know I wouldn’t have had a problem with it, right? It’s your job. I wouldn’t stick my nose in your business like that."
"I know. But it’s better this way."
Yes, it is. Too bad I have to keep ruining it with my big mouth. "Do you miss it?"
He snorts, as if my question is absurd. "No, doll, I don’t miss it at all."
He pulls me against him. "You done with all your questions?"
I tip my head up and try not to chuckle. "Yes."
"Get your answers?"
"I think so."
"Good." With that, his knuckles trace along my jaw, gently angling my head up for his kiss. His mouth works against mine in some of the sweetest, softest kisses imaginable. No matter how gentle he is at first, it doesn’t take long for me to ignite under his touch. My hands fist in his shirt, desperate to feel his skin.
Against my hip, something starts vibrating.
Rock lets out a string of curses and yanks his phone out of his pocket without releasing his hold on me.
"What?"
His eyes flick down in my direction. "Yeah, she’s here with me now actually."
My head tilts to the side as I try to silently gather more information.
He notices, and one corner of his mouth turns up.
"When? Now? I guess."
He ends the call. Instead of explaining, his mouth meets mine, kissing slow and deep. I sway, and his arms band around me. Finally he lets me go, leaving me all fuzzy and dreamy from that kiss.
"Bricks is bringing his girl by. She’s got a legal thing she wants to talk to you about."
Wait, what? "I’m not working right now."
"I know. But you still know stuff. Just talk to her. Please."
It’s the least I can do after what Rock’s done for me today. Also, I like Bricks a hell of a lot. We’re staring at each other, so much heat crackling between us I’m about to ask him how much time we have, when a car door slams.
I see Bricks right away.
"Hope, I’m so glad you’re here," Bricks shouts. He’s dragging a tall, willowy blonde behind him.
I straighten up and discreetly run my hands over my lips. Rock’s touch still lingers. I flick my gaze to him, and he’s giving me this soft smile that warms me and gives me strength.
Turning to the couple, I paste on a bright smile. "What’s up?"
I recognize the blonde— Winter, I think her name is. Bricks has been exclusively hanging out with her for a while now. Even introduced her to his kids a week or so ago, if I’m not mistaken.
Rock gets back on the ground to tinker with whatever he was working on before I tornadoed in here and interrupted him.
Bricks nudges Winter. "Tell her."
Winter looks embarrassed as she takes a folded piece of paper out of her back pocket and hands it to me. "My ex wants a paternity test. He’s just trying to get out of paying child support."
I scan the paper briefly. Pretty standard stuff, from what I can tell. I hand it back to her and look at them. "Bricks, you know I’m not really doing—"
Winter cuts me off. "Please. Elias said you did such a good job for him. I don’t qualify for a paid attorney. I don’t have a lot, but I can pay you."
"Club will take care of it," Rock mutters. I glare down at him because he’s not helping the situation. I don’t want to do this. Even though it’s probably a simple case, I’m out of practice.
"Oh. Mr. North, I can’t ask you to do that," Winter says, clearly startled.
"You serious about her, Bricks?" Rock stands up, wiping his hands on the rag hanging out of his pocket.
Bricks tightens his hold on Winter. "Yeah, prez."
"She gonna be your ol’ lady?"
Winter looks back and forth between the two of them. "Yeah. We were gonna talk about that soon."
Poor Winter. She looks as clueless about club business as I do on most days.
"Then it’s club business, and we’ll pay for it, whether Hope does it or we find you someone else."
Finally, some acknowledgment that I’m not going to have to work against my will.
"Although, my girl really is the best one for the job," Rock says with a pointed look at me.
Dammit. My hot, red temper flares at his blatant manipulation of me in front of Bricks and Winter. Fuck! Red—I’m seeing red, so I take a few deep breaths and calm down.
Turning my back to Rock completely, I ask Winter, "Can you bring me any other paperwork? The court date is soon, so maybe we can meet here at Rock’s house, say Tuesday at two?" If he’s going to offer my services knowing damn well I don’t even have an office right now, I’m going to help myself to his fucking house.
I shoot a glare at him over my shoulder, and he has the nerve to smile. "I don’t have a lot of time to prepare, so it’s possible I’ll need to ask for an adjournment."
"No problem, Ms. Kendall. Thank you so, so much for doing this. And Mr. North. Really, thank you," Winter gushes. She’s so sweet, it’s hard for me to stay mad. Besides, it’s not her I’m angry with anyway.
After they leave, I storm out of the garage and to my car.
"Wait, are you leaving?" Rock asks as he follows me out.
Spinning around so fast that my hair fans out behind me, I snap. "Ya think? Or did you have some other job you want to bully me into doing?"
"Bully you? Babe, what are you talking about?"
"You know I don’t even have an office—"
He has the nerve to lift his shoulders in an innocent shrug. "You never had one before."
I hold my hand up to stop him. "Don’t! I haven’t set foot in a courtroom in over a year. I have to do some research, brush up on stuff. I can’t just waltz in there unprepared."
Grasping my upper arms, he holds me still. "Babe, breathe. This sounds more like nerves talking."
Shaking him off, I open my car door. "You just don’t get it. It’s not like tinkering with a bike!" The angrier I get, the calmer he seems, which pisses me off even more.
"I need to go. I’m going to drop by Adam’s office and see if I can use his legal research account. I don’t have one anymore."
"Baby, I don’t want you driving when you’re so upset. Give me a sec to clean up."
Because he is the almighty Rochlan North who shall be obeyed, he takes my silence for acquiescence and jogs into the house. I take off because I’m livid and don’t need him babysitting me.
I should have known better, though, because he catches up with me in Adam’s parking lot. Fucking Harley pipes. I hear him coming a mile away, so I wait in my car. The last thing I need to do is cause a scene in my friend’s office.
He shuts the bike off next to me. The first thing that goes through my head is to play it off, like I misunderstood him. But, I’m not a sixteen-year-old kid. I’m a grown ass woman, so I’m going to let him have it instead.
With that in mind, I fling my car door open and meet him halfway.
"Why did you take off like that?" He’s not angry, but he’s definitely getting there.
Too bad I’m already there. "I don’t need you to babysit me," I snap back.
"The fuck? Maybe I wanted to spend some time with you when you were done here."
Oh. Well, don’t I feel like a bitch.
He grips my shoulders and locks his gaze with mine. "I’m sorry if you think I overstepped—"
I cut him off. "That’s a shitty apology."
He looks toward the sky, asking for patience, probably.
The thought makes me laugh.
He glances back down, a hint of a smile curving his lips. "Are you laughing at me now?"
"Hey, is everything okay?" a familiar voice calls out. I turn to let Adam know it’s fine.
"Mind your own business," Rock growls.
Adam is nowhere near the size of Rock, but he’s also never backed down from anything. "You’re in my parking lot, so it’s my business."
I wriggle out of Rock’s grasp. "Adam, it’s fine."
He comes striding over, throwing Rock a nasty look. "Holy fuck, Hope, I barely recognize you." He sweeps me up into a hug. A glance at Rock shows me he’s trying hard not to knock poor Adam to the ground.
Fuck this shit. Is she kidding me right now? This guy with his prissy hands all over my woman. She’s still pissed at me for some unknown reason. After I laid out my fucking soul to her, mind you. She has a conniption and takes off. And now some three-piece-suit-wearing fucker has his paws all over her. Right in front of me.
If we were in my world, I would have knocked his teeth down his throat by now. But, I can’t do that here.
Finally, he lets her go. With all the blood rushing through my ears, I didn’t hear a word either of them said the entire time they were hugging it out.
"Adam, this is my, uh…"
Is she for real?
"Boyfriend," she finally spits out. Seriously? Boyfriend seems awfully inadequate to describe how I feel about her, especially when less than an hour ago I spilled my fucking guts to her.
Adam, who is either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid—I haven’t figured which yet—gives her a doubtful look.
Then he turns to me, and to my utter fucking shock, eye-rapes me in a way that even the dirtiest club girl has never attempted. "You can unclench, scary biker dude, you’re more my type than she is."
What. The. Fuck?
Hope is so startled she bursts out laughing.
The two of them bow their heads together like co-conspirators. "Seriously, girl, he’s yummy. He the reason I haven’t seen you in for-fucking-ever?"
A quirky grin spreads across her face. "A little bit."
"Nice. So what do you need? Except for the files I parceled out to Mara’s firm, I left everything where it was."
She hugs the prick again. Right in fucking front of me.
I’m trying hard to forget that I’m supposedly his type. So yes, her hugging him again sends steam shooting out of my ears.
She bats her eyelashes at him in a phony, flirtatious manner I have never, and I mean never seen Hope use. My girl is just full of surprises today. Between the temper and the phony, flirty, crap, I feel like I don’t even know her right now.
"Well, I could use your LexLaw password for a little family court research I need to do," she answers with another bat of her eyelashes.
He turns, and she follows him in the building. I join them, because fuck, what else am I going to do? My scrambled brain is still busy trying to sort all this shit out.
As they catch up, I make myself comfortable in the prick’s waiting room. I overhear him telling her about the new judge that took over for family court who is a "total dick" but has deep pockets. He tells her about some of the billing changes the county has made and some new rules and shit. None of it makes a lot of sense to me, but I start getting why Hope was so pissed.
I still think I was right. She should go back to working. She clearly likes helping people, and she’s good at it. I worry about her. And I like the idea of her working for the club. Next time I tell myself I’ll try not to be so heavy-handed. Lord knows I would blow a gasket if she tried to tell me which crew to sell my crates of Jaded Bastard to. The thought makes me chuckle.
When she returns, she’s carrying a box, which she automatically shoves into my gut—guess she’s still peeved—and a bunch of folders, which she jams into her purse. With a sweet smile, she says goodbye to Adam. I grunt in his general direction, and we leave.
"Get what you needed?"
"Yeah, for now."
I rest the box in the backseat of her car and slam the door.
"I’m sorry I overstepped. I get it now."
Her shoulders sag. "I’m sorry I overreacted. You’re right. I’m nervous."
She glances up at me with those clear, honest, green eyes.
There she is. There’s my girl. The woman I love.