The first time John drops Chase off, he walks him inside and watches for a few minutes from the narrow doorway as Chase curls up in the corner of the couch, his feet pushed under Lucas Reid’s leg. It doesn’t take long before he retreats with an awkward smile for Tyler and his son.

Chase sits there, motionless and tense, until the sound of the cruiser fades, and when he goes to move, Tyler stills him with a light touch on his shoulder. He waits quietly, waiting, and then, finally, he huffs and starts to move away.

Chase makes a low, hurt noise, and Tyler turns, catching the boy as he throws himself in Tyler’s arms. Tyler sighs a little, but his arms come around Chase’s shoulders and hold him tight as he shakes and tears turn his shirt damp.

“It’s ok, Chase,” he murmurs, “You’re ok.”

Chase shivers and says, voice muffled, “I missed you.”

Tyler doesn’t answer. He just hugs him tighter as the coffee burbles and the oatmeal scorches on the bottom.

It doesn’t matter that breakfast is burned—Chase is home, and everything is as it should be.

~*~

It isn’t perfect after that, but it’s better. John delivers Chase to Tyler and Lucas’s RV before his shifts on Tuesdays and Saturdays, and—

Chase starts talking again.

He’s still angry and sometimes they argue about how often he should be allowed to see the Reids. Sometimes he ignores John and retreats into silence. Sometimes he jogs for hours and comes home with his face tear-stained and remote.

John thinks that’s more teenage angst and losing his mother than anything else.

And sometimes, Chase sits down and watches a baseball game with him.

It isn’t perfect, but it’s better, and John is willing to take better, willing to work towards more than that.

~*~

Chase doesn’t have nightmares anymore.

But he dreams.

~*~

His dreams are always the same.

He runs through woods that are both familiar and strange, that are foreign and recognizable, and a body presses against him, guiding him with nips and low huffs. He yips, happy and young, before he runs, body lean and quick and nimble over the dirt and underbrush, through the trees.

His companion howls and runs with him. He laughs, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he peers up at the big shadow with bright blue eyes.

A black wolf—

He runs with two wolves, but he is small, so much smaller than them, and he doesn’t think he’s a wolf, doesn’t know why he runs with wolves—the big black wolf always finds them, drawn by their scuffling and play. He yips a happy greeting and is rewarded with a gentle nip on the ear, a thorough sniff before he’s pounced, and the breath rushes from him in an undignified huff.

It always starts like that, and they end up in front of the burnt ground he recognizes despite never having been there. The gray wolf vanishes then, and he lazes near his black wolf, eyes half closed until he hears footsteps in the woods, carrying a scent he recognizes.

And then—it’s always what wakes him—he hears a voice, a voice he doesn’t know and wants to, murmuring, Chase.

The dreams make him anxious, but he doesn’t talk about them to anyone save for Lucas.

Lucas, silent and staring into nothing, keeps all his secrets.

~*~

The summer ends in a golden wash of afternoons spent with the Reids and days blowing shit up on the PS4 with Ben. John spends more time at home, and Chase forces him through a Lord of the Rings marathon, a punishment and peace offering both.

By the time school resumes, it’s peaceful. John still gets a little tight around the eyes when Chase brings up Tyler, but he doesn’t discourage his son’s friendship with the Reids. He’s spent enough dinners with them to know it’s good for Chase.

Ben coaxes Chase into trying out for the football team and they both make it, to the delight and pride of both John and Tyler.

Chase grins at the celebratory dinner and wags his forkful of potato salad. “I knew you’d agree on something eventually.”

Tyler rolls his eyes while John huffs in exasperation and Chase smirks, throwing a knowing look at Lucas before he picks off a piece of potato and feeds it to him delicately.

They’re eating in the kitchen of the house for the first time, and Chase is more excited about that milestone than he is about his dubious sports achievement.

After dinner, while John keeps Lucas company with a beer outside, Chase helps Tyler do the dishes, drying them and slipping them in the right cabinet with a smile.

“I could play,” he says, and Tyler glances at him. “I’m not bad. I think the krav maga and running has really paid off.”

He smiles shyly at Tyler, who watches him patiently.

“It’s just—if I’m playing and he’s on the bench, Ben’s all by himself, you know? And I can’t leave Benny.”

Tyler is quiet for a long time, and Chase squirms, staring almost defiantly at the last knife, the one he is still stubbornly drying.

Tyler takes it from him, his hands big on Chase, warm and surprisingly soft, and it’s so strange for Tyler to touch him like this, so gently that it snaps his gaze up.

He shivers at what he sees there, shining in Tyler’s eyes. It’s awe and pride and affection that drags an involuntary noise from the boy.

“You’re a good friend,” Tyler murmurs. “I hope Ben knows that.”

He releases Chase then and steps away, and Chase—

Chase tucks the moment away with all the other memories of Tyler and Lucas that he hoards like a precious treasure.

~*~

The two days a week limit John imposed during the summer felt like hell then, but as the school year begins and Chase is drawn into studying and practice, he’s almost relieved that he isn’t expected there any more often.

He feels guilty.

“I know Tyler probably doesn’t care,” he murmurs to Lucas, “But I feel guilty that I can’t be here more. I miss you guys when I’m gone, even when I’m too busy to think about what I’m missing. It’s weird, isn’t it?”

Lucas stares, blank as ever. It’s been over a year that he’s spent with the Reids, and he doesn’t expect anything else from Lucas—but he wishes there was.

He never stops wishing.

~*~

In October, while he carves a pumpkin and Tyler watches with patient amusement, Chase pauses and wipes his face, smearing pumpkin guts across it in the process. “What’s your birthday?”

Tyler lifts an eyebrow. “What’s yours?” he says, a grin tugging at his lips.

“April 1st,” Chase says promptly and Tyler feels a pang. He missed Chase turning fifteen and didn’t even realize it. Chase grins and his eyes are more amused than hurt when he says, “Mom loved that.”

Tyler is silent, then offers, “November 3rd. I’ll be twenty-five.” Chase stares at him and Tyler shrugs. “Lucas’s is December 15th.”

The boy looks at Lucas and grins. “We’re totally getting you a party hat,” he says.

Tyler’s eyes sparkle at the promise and Chase hands him the hollowed-out pumpkin. They aren’t working on the house today, and there’s a lazy indulgence about the place as Tyler carefully carves the Spiderman face Chase had excitedly picked out when Tyler announced they were carving pumpkins.

“What are you going to do for Halloween?” Tyler asks. Chase squirms, color high in his cheeks, and for a moment, Tyler is painfully aware of how very young Chase is.

“I’m not. Dad’s gonna have me help hand out candy at the station. Ben is going out with his new girlfriend, so it’s better this way.”

Tyler nods even though something in his expression makes Chase wonder if he actually agrees.

~*~

When Tyler walks him home, Chase stares up at the dark sky and says, bemused, “It’s the new moon tonight.”

Tyler huffs and bumps his shoulder, grinning when Chase squawks and stumbles into the trees.

~*~

Ben promises to come by the station, but Chase doesn’t put a lot of stock in it. They see each other in class and practice, but in the two weeks since Brielle moved to town and Ben breathlessly offered to show her around, they haven’t hung out after school, have barely talked outside of it.

“I think he’s forgetting me,” Chase tells Lucas. The kitchen is quiet except for the low sizzle of meat browning in the pan and he feels uncomfortably exposed, vulnerable and laid bare. “I know it doesn’t matter—I have you and Tyler. And I’ve never told Ben about you. So maybe this is fair, right? But... He’s been part of my life since I was three. I don’t—I don’t want to lose him.” Quietly, so quietly he isn’t sure Lucas can hear, he says, “I think I already have.”

He glances at Lucas, and for a moment, it feels like Lucas is staring back.

Then he blinks, and Lucas is the same as he has ever been—blank and unresponsive. Chase blinks back tears.

“I wish you’d wake up,” he says, and that feels like even more of a secret than losing Ben.

~*~

On Halloween, Tyler wheels Lucas into the police station while kids crowd the streets in costumes and the air rings with their shrieks of laughter. Chase is crouching in the holding cells, wearing a deputy uniform that fits a little big, his face painted like a clown, with devil horns on his head, like no one was really sure what he was going to be so they threw it all together and hoped for the best. He grins at a group of kids, a princess hanging from his back as he hands out candy and soccer moms coo.

Tyler grins even though he knows Chief DeWitt is watching. He can’t keep the smile off his face, seeing Chase so happy.

The kids scamper out and Chase straightens, his smile brightening when he sees Tyler and Lucas. “What are you doing here?” he asks, delighted.

“Came for the candy,” Tyler answers, dry as a bone. Chase snorts but produces two Reese’s cups that he presents with a flourish and a flush high in his cheeks.

The door behind them opens asd someone young and exuberant shouts Chase’s name. Then three things happen at once.

Chase waves at the two people entering behind Tyler.

Tyler’s blood freezes as he looks at the girl entering the room.

And Lucas goes into seizures.