If not for a host of people and resources, this book would never have been written.
Thanks to Peggy McIntosh for the concept of the invisible knapsack. Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum literally braved the ice storm in Atlanta to meet with me, and is one of my heroes—I hope she doesn’t mind that I borrowed the explanation she gave her own son about the color of his skin being something more, rather than something less. I also must thank Debby Irving for her expertise as a social justice educator, for being available all hours of the day and night to vet my words, and for so graciously letting me steal her metaphors and best lines, including the concepts of headwinds and tailwinds of privilege (as brilliantly described by Verna Myers) and ignorance having the word ignore in it. Thanks, too, to Malcolm Gladwell, who on Q&A on C-SPAN on December 8, 2009, used an example from his book Outliers examining birth-date cutoffs for young Canadian hockey players and how that translates into NHL success—the premise of which I used for Kennedy’s closing argument. Thanks to the People’s Institute for Survival and Beyond, which ran the Undoing Racism workshop sponsored by the Haymarket People’s Fund in Boston, which encouraged me to notice my own privilege—they get full credit for Kennedy’s metaphor about throwing away the babies.
I am grateful to Professor Abigail Baird, for the research on bias she provided (as well as the introduction to the remarkable Sienna Brown). To Betty Martin, the woman I’d always call first if I wanted to kill a fictional newborn. To Jennifer Twitchell of the ADL, Sindy Ravell, Hope Morris, Rebecca Thompson, Karen Bradley, and Ruth Goshen. Thanks to Bill Binnie, for his name and his donation to Families in Transition, which provides safe, affordable housing and comprehensive social services to individuals who are homeless or at risk of becoming homeless in southern New Hampshire. For McDonald’s advice: Natalie Hall, Rachel Daling, Rachel Patrick, Autumn Cooper, Kayla Ayling, Billie Short, Jessica Hollis, M.M., Naomi Dawson, Joy Klink, Kimberly Wright, Emily Bradt, Sukana Al-Hassani.
Thanks to the many doctors and nurses who shared their experience, their lingo, and their best stories with me: Maureen Littlefield, Shauna Pearse, Elizabeth Joseph, Mindy Dube, Cecelia Brelsford, Meaghan Smith, Dr. Joan Barthold, Irit Librot, Dr. Dan Kelly.
To my crackerjack legal team, who swore that race is never brought into a courtroom—I hope I’ve changed your mind. Lise Iwon, Lise Gescheidt, Maureen McBrien-Benjamin, and Janet Gilligan—you are all way too fun to simply be considered work colleagues. Jennifer Sargent, many thanks for coming in at the eleventh hour and vetting the court scenes for accuracy’s sake.
Thank you to Jane Picoult and Laura Gross, for being outraged and moved and humbled at all the right places when you read early drafts. Auriol Bishop gets credit for finding the title. And thanks to the best publishing team on the planet: Gina Centrello, Kara Welsh, Kim Hovey, Debbie Aroff, Sanyu Dillon, Rachel Kind, Denise Cronin, Scott Shannon, Matthew Schwartz, Anne Speyer, Porscha Burke, Theresa Zoro, Paolo Pepe, Catherine (I-secretly-run-Jodi’s-life) Mikula, Christine Mykityshyn, Kaley Baron. Special thanks to the incomparable editor Jennifer Hershey, who challenged me so that every word on these pages is earned, and right. I’m also indebted to head cheerleader–road warrior–de facto non-Scandalous Chief of Staff Susan Corcoran, who has become so indispensable I truly don’t know how I’ve survived this long without her.
To Frank Meeink and Tim Zaal—your courage and your compassion are all the more inspiring because of how far you’ve come. Thank you for walking me into the world of hate, and for showing so many others how to leave it.
To Evelyn Carrington, my Sister Friend, and Shaina—and to Sienna Brown—one of the great joys of writing this book has been getting to know you. Thank you for your honesty, your bravery, and your open hearts. To Nic Stone—who knew when I was trapped in Atlanta that I would be making a friend for life? I could not have written this book without you holding my hand and telling me not to second-guess myself. All those frantic late-night texts have led to this version. Thanks for giving me confidence, for fixing my white girl mistakes, and for believing that I could and should write this. I can’t wait for your novel to hit the shelves.
To Kyle and Kevin Ferreira van Leer—you two are what I want to grow up and be: models for social justice. Thank you for being the ones to open my eyes to those tailwinds. To Sammy: thanks for coming home from school and saying, “You know, I think I have someone you should talk to about your book.” To Jake: thank you for knowing what parking lot is behind the New Haven County Courthouse and for explaining Supreme Court decisions to me; I know you will one day be the kind of lawyer who changes the world. And to Tim, thanks for serving me my coffee in the Harvard “white privilege” mug. I love you for that, and for everything else.