Jack rode in from the south field with a mounting sense of anticipation. He gently prodded Ranger, his solid-brown gelding, and the horse moved easily toward the barn. It had been a long day. The south fence had several places he and Juan had been forced to replace entirely. It was hard work, but it was best to get it all done now while the weather was nice. The weather could be very unpredictable this time of year. It could get cold fast, and he didn’t want to be pounding fence posts in freezing temperatures.

Tipping his Stetson as he passed one of the wives of his ranch hands, he contemplated his current happiness. During his lunch break, he’d made arrangements for his marriage. The thought that he would soon have an honest-to-god wife made him smile. He’d always thought Sam would be the one to fall in love and Jack would allow him to have the legally recognized relationship. Loving Abigail changed everything, and he thought it would be for the better. He hoped Sam wasn’t disappointed, but Jack wasn’t letting their wife have any name but his.

And she would be taking his name, he promised himself.

She’d kept her maiden name when she married her first husband because she wanted to share her daughter’s last name, but Lexi was a grown woman. That argument would never have worked with him. He would have insisted on adopting Lexi and changing her name as well. He was a possessive man. He’d long ago stopped fighting it. He didn’t get close to many people in the world, but the few he did, he considered his. Sam was his. Abby was his. He knew it was a weird relationship, but he didn’t care.

Jack dismounted and walked the gelding inside the barn.

He could still remember the day he met Sam like it was yesterday. Sam Fleetwood had looked terrified. Everything the boy owned was in one suitcase and a backpack. Jack remembered thinking it was more than he’d ever had. He’d been jealous of the kid. Sam looked all wide-eyed and innocent. He had an easy charm, even through his grief. A charm Jack had never known once in his life.

Jack had been sure that Fred Hall, the biggest bully in the group, intended to initiate young Sam that first evening. After lights out, it was pretty much a free-for-all as long as it was quiet. The monitor slept pretty soundly and didn’t really care what went on. Fred had tried that shit with him, but Jack was bigger than Fred and had easily handed him his ass. Jack had been vulnerable as a child, but once he’d gotten big enough to scare off people, he hadn’t been vulnerable again.

He wasn’t sure what made him get out of bed that night. It would have been easier to ignore it and continue the way he always had. Even at fifteen he’d been sure of himself. He knew he didn’t give a shit about anyone. It didn’t pay to care because people always let him down. The only foster parents who’d been kind to him had either died, like the elderly lady who’d called him son and made him dinner each night, or had sadly explained they couldn’t keep him anymore. There were more people, of course, but they had other reasons beyond simple kindness for letting him into their home. He could almost forgive the ones who had beaten the crap out of him. He’d been a difficult kid. He’d certainly heard it enough. He couldn’t forgive the two who had gone further than that. So his fifteen-year-old self had decided to just never care about anyone. That way he never had to be disappointed, and he never had to share his shame.

He’d lain in bed, knowing damn well that the new kid was going to get the crap kicked out of him. It happened all the time. The kid should get used to it. It wasn’t Jack’s place in the world to protect anyone. He didn’t let anyone in, and then no one could hurt him. That had been his mantra.

It hadn’t held up.

As he heard Fred walking past him, he’d gotten out of bed and followed him. When he’d attempted to assault Sam, he stopped it. He’d beaten the shit out of Fred, and the next morning everyone deferred to him. Jack found he liked being in charge. It gave him a sense of control and he desperately needed it.

That morning, while he ate his breakfast in customary silence, Sam sat down in front of him.

“What should we do today?” Sam asked.

No one had ever asked him that. He and Sam rarely spent time apart since.

At first, Sam Fleetwood had clung to him like a life raft, and he couldn’t shake the kid. Later, Jack acknowledged, he didn’t want to get rid of Sam. Sam was the one who convinced him to give sex another try. The woman who lived across from the group home had paid the boys to mow her lawn, and when she invited both Jack and Sam to her bed, Sam had convinced Jack they should take her up on it. It was the first hint Jack had that, maybe, he wasn’t as damaged as he thought he was. He still had fond memories of Ms. Jackson. She was kind to them both, patiently teaching them what pleased a woman.

Years later, after they’d started the ranch, he had anonymously paid off the mortgage on her small house. He was a man who believed in paying his debts.

Jack forced himself to take care of his horse. He slowed down and told himself to be patient. Abby and Sam were home and waiting for him. The Benz was in the drive. He would join them for dinner, and Abigail would talk about her day. He loved listening to her talk. She was bright and funny and could make the simplest events seem interesting.

Did that woman have any idea how under her spell he was?

“Jack!”

He put down the brush he was using and walked to the front of the barn. Sam was running across the yard from the big house, a panicked expression on his face.

Something had happened to Abigail. There was no other reason for the look on Sam’s face. Anxiety crushed against his chest.

“What happened?” He had no idea what he would do if she was gone. Had someone hurt her?

“She’s leaving.” Sam was breathless. “I don’t know what happened. We were fine, and then she was quiet for a long time, and when we got back to the house, she said she was leaving.”

“She’s leaving?” The words felt foreign to him. “She’s not hurt. She’s just leaving?”

Sam nodded, and there was a dullness in his eyes. He couldn’t quite meet Jack’s gaze. “She says she doesn’t want to live like this. She says she’d be ashamed to tell her daughter she was with us.”

It was in that moment that Jack realized once and forever that the damage done to him as a child hadn’t broken him. What happened had been awful, but it hadn’t robbed him of his soul or his reaction to Abigail leaving would have been different. In his heart, he wondered if love wasn’t really a selfish thing. Somewhere deep down he’d told himself that if Sam left for some reason, he would cut the man out of his heart and move on. Even while falling for Abigail he had told himself the same thing. If she left, he would shrug and move on. He might hurt for a while, but he’d build his wall again, stronger than ever before.

He should be marching up to the house and showing her the door. He should be righteously pissed that she’d put that look of shame on Sam’s face. If she wanted to go, he’d kick her ass out. She’d never really loved them in the first place.

That should have been his reaction. His heart should be hardening, but it just softened further when he realized his love was far from a selfish thing, and if she walked out, he’d miss her for the rest of his life.

Something had happened. Abigail loved him. She loved them both. He was as sure of it as he was his next breath. He knew her deep to her soul, and he knew she wouldn’t leave without a reason.

She wasn’t ashamed of them. She was afraid.

So he buried any anger or fear he had because one of them had to be reasonable. One of them had to be strong and unwavering. That’s what it meant to be married. They hadn’t signed the paperwork, but it was time for him to be a husband to her.

Jack placed his hand securely behind Sam’s neck and gave it a comforting squeeze. “She’s not going anywhere, Sam.”

 

* * * *

 

Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. She couldn’t walk away. It was too far and now that she thought about it, where exactly was she planning on going?

Sam hadn’t been an idiot. He’d taken the damn keys with him, and she had no choice but to sit here and wait for Jack. If she thought lying to Sam was hard, she couldn’t imagine having to do it to Jack.

But she had to. She had to lie and she had to make him believe.

She had to make him hate her.

She wouldn’t be the one who brought them down. She loved them too much to cause them the kind of trouble Ruby Echols intended. It seemed that loving Adam when she was just a kid was going to cost her everything again, and this time she wasn’t sure she could put the pieces together. She would be able to move through her days, but there wouldn’t be any joy to them. She would spend every minute thinking of two cowboys and how happy she would have been.

The back door opened, and her whole body tensed for the coming battle. This would be an awful scene. Jack was going to be furious. He would say horrible things, and she would say horrible things right back. She had to. She had to break this relationship in a way that rendered it irretrievable.

Jack would still have Sam. She would be the one who was alone.

“Abigail.” Jack’s deep voice was calm, soothing almost.

That deep voice of his would haunt her forever.

She took a long breath and turned to face him, her face schooled carefully into a polite mask. “I’m sorry Sam felt the need to bother you. Look, here’s the deal. It’s been fun, but I have an offer to work in Austin. It’s exactly what I want.”

Let him think work was more important than them. She waited for Jack’s eyes to narrow. He would order her to stay, and she would tell him she couldn’t stand his arrogant, overbearing ways another minute.

“Is this job that important to you?” Jack stared at her.

“Yes.” She was pleased with the firmness of her voice. Inside, she was shaking. Sam stood beside Jack looking so heartbroken she wanted nothing more than to walk to him and wrap her arms around him. Jack looked…curious.

“All right then,” Jack agreed.

She forced herself to nod. Deep inside, she wanted to wail. She hadn’t expected that he would let her go without a fight. He was letting her walk out without so much as a good-bye, and she should be thrilled. She could leave without a scene. So why did she suddenly want to slap him? Had it meant that little to him? She couldn’t believe it.

It was perverse. She was getting everything she wanted and it left her utterly hollow on the inside.

“Do you need to leave right away?” Jack asked.

“Yes.” A cold feeling was settling in her gut. Maybe he’d offer her a quick lay for old time’s sake. She knew it wasn’t fair, but she was bitter about his lack of feeling.

“Sam, pack a bag. We’ll take the Benz. Call ahead and get us a hotel suite. We’ll go house hunting this weekend.”

“What?” She felt her jaw drop.

Jack shrugged negligently. “If this is important to you, then we’ll go.”

“But the ranch…”

“Juan can handle it.” There was nothing about the expression on Jack’s face that told her he wasn’t perfectly serious. “If Austin turns out to be the place you want to stay, then we’ll work something out. I like working on a ranch. I won’t lie to you. I love it here. But I love you more.”

“So do I,” Sam said quietly.

The world seemed to stop, going silent as their words sank into her soul. Of all the reactions she’d played through her mind before this confrontation, this wasn’t one of them. They were willing to leave everything she was trying to save? She couldn’t let them do it. “No.”

Jack didn’t look surprised by her quiet denial. “No. Why not?”

“I don’t want you to go with me.” She was struggling to maintain her composure. Jack wasn’t reacting the way she thought he would, and it was throwing her off. She decided some very tough love was required. She was going to have to get nasty. “You’re going to make this hard, aren’t you?”

Jack smiled gently but made no move toward her. “I’m going to make it impossible, my love.”

Her heart skipped at the sight of him, but she forced herself to roll her eyes, and her voice dripped with sarcasm. She laid it on thick. “God, Jack, I really thought you were different. It was what attracted me to you. I thought you would be a man I could have some fun with, who would know the score.”

“I didn’t know we were playing a game, sweetheart.” His eyes were almost sympathetic.

Was he not listening to her? She scrambled.

“It’s always a game.” She used her worldliest tone. “It’s been fun. I enjoyed the whole fantasy, two men thing, but it’s not something I want to spend a life doing. I’m bored now. I want to move on. You couldn’t seriously think I would want to live in this pissant town. I hate it here.”

“Then we’ll move,” Jack said plainly.

Tears of frustration welled in her eyes. “You don’t get it, you idiot. I am leaving. I don’t love you. I don’t want you. I stayed here to help my mother, and now I’m leaving. As soon as I can get her packed up, we’ll both be out of here. You and Sam there were a nice diversion, but I’m not living this freaky life with you!”

“You’re embarrassed?” Jack asked the question with an almost clinical detachment.

“Yes,” she hissed, thankful he was finally following the conversation. He still didn’t sound pissed, though. “I’m ashamed to be seen with you.”

Jack looked back at Sam. Abby realized that Jack had been closing in on her. He had been subtly moving closer and closer. “Did she hide her head in shame earlier today when you took her shopping?”

“Hell, no.” Sam frowned. “She held my hand, and she kissed me in front of town hall. When some old lady called her a tramp, she patted my ass and agreed with her.”

Jack chuckled. “Now that sounds like my Abigail.” He looked pointedly at her. “This does not. Are you going to tell me what happened, baby?”

“I’m tired of people calling me a tramp,” she tried.

Jack shook his head. He was standing so close to her, she had to look up at him. She could feel the heat coming off his big body. God, she would miss it. “Try again.”

Abby pushed him away. “I don’t want you.”

She wasn’t able to keep the tears out of her voice. Couldn’t he take a hint? If he kept this up, she was going to break. She couldn’t break now.

“But I want you.” Her attempt at pushing him around had done nothing to keep him away. “Abby, I’m not a fool. I know Sam fucked up somehow.”

“Hey,” Sam protested.

Jack never took his eyes off Abby as he replied. “Did you leave her alone?”

Sam stopped. “Well, I had to help this old woman with her car.”

“That’s when they got to her.” Jack looked at her as though waiting for confirmation.

“No.” She shook her head. She was losing control of this conversation.

“Sweetheart,” Jack said quietly. “Watch what you say. You’ve been lying to me, and you’ll have to answer for it. Now listen to me and listen well. I love you. I don’t know what that old biddy said, but she can’t hurt me. Even if she could, you would hurt me more by walking out.”

She sighed and the tears started to fall. Her hands shook with the force of her emotion. He didn’t understand. Ruby had ruined more than one person because she hadn’t liked them or felt they didn’t fit her idea of proper. “She can hurt you. Please, Jack, I can’t take it. Let me go.”

“I will,” he promised. “If you can walk out the door after you’ve listened to everything I have to say to you, then I’ll let you go.”

Abby nodded. She would listen and then she would go.

“I love you.” Jack forced her to look him in the eyes. “That won’t change because you tell me you don’t love me. My love is not dependent on yours. It’s just there, and I won’t do anything to cut it out of my heart. It’s what I’ve waited for all of my life, and if you walk out that door, I’ll go to my grave loving you, missing you, praying that you’ll come back to me. I will never love another woman the way I love you. I will always be there for you. If you leave, know that my door is open. I will always be waiting for you to walk back through it.”

She couldn’t help it. The tears flowed freely now. Every emotion she’d felt since walking back into this town surged up, a well that had been sprung.

“I can’t hurt you this way,” she sobbed. “She said she would ruin you. She has plans, Jack. She’s going to cut off your access to feed from the feed store. She has friends on the city council. She plans to pressure them to rezone the area the feed store is on. It would force them out of business.”

Jack looked slightly amused. “I assume if they dropped the ranch as a customer, the pressure would be off.”

Abby nodded. He finally understood her. “That’s not all. She plans to try to shut down your packaging plant. She’s going to have city regulators all over you. She’ll bring in inspectors.”

Sam laughed. “Let them in. I assure you, we can handle a visit from some inspectors. As for the feed store, we’re their biggest customer. Baby, you think this town still works the way it did twenty years ago. That old biddy can talk all she likes, but the city council is more interested in the jobs we provide than pleasing a nasty old lady. She’s got money but she doesn’t have a business anymore. She doesn’t provide the community with anything but social authority, and that’s only because no one else challenges her.”

Jack sighed and pulled her into his arms. “You’re the only one who can ruin me, Abigail. And you can only ruin me by walking away.”

“She’ll hurt you.” She cried against his chest.

Jack pushed her back and shook her slightly. “Would you have wanted Ben to push you away when he found out he had cancer? Would you have wanted him to spare you the pain and heartache? Is that how you view a marriage? Is it something that should work only when no one has to sacrifice?”

“No.” The world was a blurry mess, and only Jack seemed real to her. Where was Sam? Then he was there at her back, as though he could read her thoughts. He pressed himself comfortingly against her. She sighed and wrapped herself around Jack. “No, I wouldn’t have wanted him to do that.”

“This is our fight.” Jack’s hands tightened on her waist. “We stand together. We face it all together. You and me and Sam.”

A deep sense of relief flooded her. She knew suddenly that Jack was right. They were more important than anything else. They could make it through. Abby cried and her men held her, whispering soothing things and stroking her gently. Gradually, she calmed and felt contentment push out fear.

“Sam, I believe Abigail could use a drink,” Jack suggested after a long while. “She likes vodka. I think there’s some cranberry juice in the fridge. I could use some Scotch.”

Sam rushed to do his bidding, and she became aware that Jack was rigid with tension. She hesitantly looked up, and his jaw was tightly clenched. It didn’t take much to figure out that he was angry, and Abby didn’t fool herself about what had gotten him to that state.

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t enough. The words weren’t going to be enough.

She’d lied to him. She had the best reasons for it, but she had lied, and he wouldn’t take it well. She had forced him into a position where he was afraid and worried. He had given her two rules—submission in the bedroom, and she wasn’t to try to face anything alone. She’d broken the more important of the two rules.

Jack took a step back and sat down in the big arm chair that dominated the living room. Sam rushed back in and pressed the Scotch into his hand. Jack took a long drink. She could tell he was trying to get his temper under control before he dealt with her.

“Fix him,” Sam said under his breath as he handed Abby her glass.

She put it down without a single sip. If she’d broken one rule, she should really follow the other one. Without another thought, she tossed off her clothes. She noticed Jack watching her through hooded eyes. She pushed her jeans and panties off, and when she was naked, she walked to Jack and fell to her knees beside his chair. She sat with her head submissively down, waiting for him. She would stay there all night if that’s what it took.

Less than a minute after she’d assumed the position, Jack’s hand was curling in her hair, pulling her head into his lap. She wrapped her arms lovingly around his leg and sighed as he stroked her hair. He calmly began talking to Sam.

They spoke of completely innocuous things. Jack talked about the work on the fence and cows that were close to calving. Sam seemed to know what Jack needed, and he stayed away from anything that might remind him of what she’d put him through. Abby sat quietly, letting Jack stroke her, hoping it brought him some peace. After a long while, Benita walked in and announced that it was time for dinner. If she was shocked at Abigail’s state of undress, the housekeeper didn’t show it. She announced that roast chicken, potatoes au gratin, and sautéed green beans would be served.

Jack stood up and reached down to help Abby to her feet. She wanted to throw her clothes on but sensed this was a turning point. She was either in or she was out. Jack might have been willing to slowly introduce her to the lifestyle he wanted, but she had pushed him. He had shoved every bit of his pride aside to keep them together, and now she could shove aside something as ridiculous and useless as shame.

Without a word of protest, she took his hand and allowed him to lead her into the dining room. He sat her in the chair next to him and they shared a quiet meal. Jack seemed to relax when he realized she was accepting the situation. After dessert was served, Jack politely dismissed the housekeeper, thanking her for her work. When the door closed behind her, Jack held his hand out and gestured for her to come to his lap. She sat and put her arms around his neck. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the hard line of his jaw.

“You realize all this sweet submission is not going to save you,” Jack said, speaking to her for the first time in an hour.

“I don’t want to be saved from you.” Abby knew that she was going to get the spanking of a lifetime, and she wasn’t afraid of it. Jack would need it after what he’d been through.

Jack’s green eyes were filled with challenge. “You’ll allow Sam to tie you down?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“You’ll accept my discipline?”

“Yes, Jack.” She gnawed a little at her bottom lip. “Though, if it’s going to be as bad as I suspect, I might need a gag to stay quiet.”

Jack nodded. “When we enter that room, you will speak when spoken to. You will do exactly as I say. I am the Master in that room, do you understand?”

She nodded and didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was already getting wet.

Jack looked at his partner. “Sam, I realize that up to this point I’ve been willing to share power.”

Sam’s eyes turned wary and he frowned. “I understand. You want her to yourself tonight. I can handle that.”

Jack sighed. “Neither one of you lets me get a complete thought out. I wasn’t throwing you out, Samuel. I was changing the rules on you. When we’ve used the playroom before, we shared power over our lover. I was willing to do that because, quite frankly, I didn’t care enough about those women to take full responsibility for them. Now, I am willing to take that responsibility for both of you.”

Sam’s entire body tensed, and she sensed Sam’s expectation. “What do you mean?”

Jack’s smile was slow and sensual. “I mean I know what you need, Sam. Hell, you’re even more submissive than Abigail is. You want discipline. I’m now willing to give it to you. I don’t know how far I’ll go or what I’ll be comfortable with, but I’m willing to explore it.”

Sam looked almost shy. “It doesn’t have to change. I’m not asking anything of you.”

“I know. Somehow, with Abigail here, it all seems a bit more possible, if you understand.” Jack left his reflective mood, and she knew he was ready to move on. “The rules apply to you too, Sam. I am Master in that room. You will obey me. You will not question me or refuse me. If I request something of you that you are not willing to give me, your safe word is ‘red.’ You will say your safe word and everything stops. Is that understood?”

Sam smiled slowly. “Yes, Jack.”

“Excellent.” Jack kissed her on the cheek. “You can start by taking her and preparing her. I want her bathed, bound, and ready for my pleasure.”

Sam eagerly got up, and in a second, she was in his arms.

Jack looked at the clock. “You have half an hour. And, Samuel, she is not allowed to come, do you understand?”

“Yes,” Sam replied. “You don’t want me to play with her or anything.”

Jack laughed. “I didn’t say that. Play with her all you like. Get her soaking wet. But don’t let her come.”

“I think I can handle that.” Sam looked down at Abby with anticipation.

Suddenly, she realized a spanking would probably be the least of her torture.