The line I’m standing in moves ahead a couple feet when another group is instructed to “Stay on the path. Don’t divert, or you’ll regret it!” by some kid dressed as the Grim Reaper.

He holds out his scythe and tries to look intimidating as thunder claps from stereo speakers mounted to nearby lampposts, and four teenage girls squeal and run past him, disappearing into the dark woods.

“I’m so scared! I might pee myself!” a young girl behind me shrieks.

“If anyone touches me, I’ll die!” another cries before breaking into excited laughter.

Two kids holding lightsabers carry on a fight just off to the side while they wait their turns. They can’t be any older than Nolan. And for yet another time tonight, I shake my head and wonder what the fuck I’m doing right now, because aside from their parents and whoever oversees the lighting and special effects at Weber’s Haunted Woods, I am the oldest motherfucker here.

Halloween is a holiday for kids and women who want an excuse to dress up. I don’t have any reason to be coming to shit like this anymore. I haven’t been to one of these things since I was in middle school. And if it weren’t for the voice that turns my head every fucking time I hear it, I wouldn’t be standing here now.

“I’m not cutting in line. Relax, before your hair frizzes out any more.”

Laughter shakes my chest as I turn sideways and watch Tessa.

She moves down the long line of people like she owns this fucking farm, walking with attitude the way she always does—hips swaying in those tight jeans, chin lifted, eyes bright and daring, looking sexy as hell with that smirk on her face she wears when she’s either thinking about telling someone off or just got finished doing it.

Fucking love that look. Especially when it’s being directed at me.

And it’s directed at me a lot.

I shouldn’t get off on riling Tessa up and getting a helluva lot of lip from her, but I do. And she gets off on giving it. That shit just works for us.

As Tessa moves closer, curiosity has me scanning the crowd, and I spot the woman who will absolutely think twice before she gets up in my wife’s business again.

Scowl on her face and cheeks flushed in embarrassment, she quickly smooths her hands through her hair.

“The Porta-Potties are disgusting,” Tessa shares, stopping beside me, her nose wrinkling in disgust as she wipes her hands off on her jeans. “Seriously. People are animals. Fucking aim already. It’s gross. I basically had to bathe in hand sanitizer.”

“You could’ve just held it,” I offer, knowing anything I say right now aside from agreeing with her is a gamble.

That’s a risk I gladly take though. Give me that fucking look, babe.

And she does.

Her eyes harden and narrow. Her mouth pulls tight.

I smile, my cock hardening in my jeans.

I can’t help that shit. It’s her.

“Shut up.” Tessa laughs, knocking her fist against my chest. “You got it made, you know that? I swear to God, Luke, my life would be so much easier if I had a penis. I wouldn’t even need to get out of line. I could just whip it out right here. Problem solved.”

I glance around us, making sure no kids are standing close enough to hear the conversation we’re having, because knowing Tessa, she didn’t bother to look. Then getting the go-ahead I need, I pull my arms across my chest and turn to face her again. “Can we not talk about a scenario involving you having a dick? ’Cause that’s really fuckin’ weird for me.”

She tilts her head back, her mouth fighting a smile. “Why? ’Cause you’d still be interested and wouldn’t know what to do about that?”

“Wouldn’t be interested once I got your pants off, babe.”

“Yeah you would. My dick would be huge.”

The fuck?

Shoulders pulling back, I stand taller before blinking away and moving forward with the line, and I don’t know what look I’m giving off now, but whatever it is has Tessa clutching at her stomach and nearly doubling over in half.

“Oh my God. You look freaked,” she cackles.

“There’s something wrong with you.”

“Oh, stop it. I’m just kidding.” She elbows my side, her laughter dying out. “You look seriously stressed out, Luke.”

“Wouldn’t you?” I look down at her, glaring. “And don’t act like you’d really want a dick. You would hate not having my mouth between your legs every fuckin’ second of the day.”

Her eyebrow lifts.

Mine furrows. “Not fuckin’ happening. Ever.”

Jesus Christ. She thinks I’d blow her.

Tessa giggles and leans her head on my arm. “Okay, okay. I wouldn’t really want a dick. You’re right.”

“Usually am.”

Her teeth sink into my bicep.

I reach around and slap her ass, hard, making her yelp before I wrap my arm around her shoulders and tug her close, preventing her from biting me again.

She sighs into my neck as the cool October air swirls around us.

“This is going to be so fun, right?” she asks, sounding happy, her hands sliding around my waist and linking by my hip.

I kiss the top of her head and pull her closer.

I can bitch to myself all I fucking want about being too old for this or feeling out of place here, but the truth is, there was nothing stopping me from making this happen for Tessa tonight.

I know how stressed she’s been. I know the constant worrying and wondering she’s been doing.

She tries to hide it from me, but I know my wife.

She’s inside her head, freaking out all alone in there.

Starting a family is supposed to be exciting. Fun. The amount of fucking we’ve been doing alone should keep this next step in our lives enjoyable. And yeah, the sex we’re having is un-fucking-real. Always is. But it’s been five months since Tessa and I decided we were doing this, and even though no one’s saying it out loud, I know we’re both thinking the same thing.

What the fuck?

I figured we wouldn’t have any issues with this. Why would we? We’re still in our twenties. It’s not like we waited until our forties to get this going. Not that I was expecting it to happen right away, overnight or anything crazy like that, but I sure as hell wasn’t expecting it to take more than a couple months.

Even so, I’m not worried. I know it’ll happen. And if I’m wrong and it doesn’t, I’m still not worried.

But Tessa?

It’s been the only thing on her mind.

So when she came up with the idea of hitting the haunted woods before we go to the party tonight, looking excited about it, with that smile on her face that I haven’t seen enough in these past few months, I didn’t hesitate.

Yes.

Anything.

Everything.

Whatever she wants.

That doesn’t mean I won’t suggest something else while we’re here, though.

I really fucking hate shit like this.

Turning my head, I watch the group standing in the line next to us move forward when the tractor returns. “You sure you don’t just wanna do the hayride? There’s an actual point to that. We can finally get pumpkins.”

And it doesn’t take as long.

“The hayride isn’t scary,” she says, nuzzling closer. “I want to be scared, and I want you to protect me.”

“Protect you? The people running this are gonna be the ones needing protection. You can hold your own, babe. In any situation. I just witnessed it.”

Tessa looks up at me, smiling wide. “Yeah, you’re right. They better be ready too. I’ve already made one person cry tonight.”

I chuckle as we move forward together when the next group goes ahead, and then we’re at the front of the line, and the kid dressed as the Grim Reaper gives us the same warning about staying on the path.

Tessa leans away, sliding my arm off her shoulders, and grips my forearm, her fingers digging in when the thunder claps through the speakers above us. She covers her mouth, giggling, and I can’t help it. I smile then too because fuck, she was right. This will be fun. Look at her. How could I not have a good time when she’s this excited about something?

The kid extends his scythe, giving us the go-ahead, and Tessa grabs my hand and tugs me forward.

“Woo! God, I haven’t been through one of these things in years,” she says, breathing faster as the branches overhead darken the path. “Bring your worst, punks!”

I shake my head as her voice carries through the woods around us.

Eerie music begins to play as fog rolls out like a blanket from behind a tree stump. It covers our feet. We move slowly, leaves and twigs crunching and cracking beneath us. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.

Aside from the lit torches stuck in the earth every ten feet or so, there isn’t much light, and Tessa’s grip on my hand grows tighter and tighter the further we walk.

“Oh my God, look at that.” She points at what’s supposed to look like bodies wrapped in blood-stained sheets. There’s a group of them stacked together on the ground near an overturned wagon.

I think I hear something—a moan or a word I can’t make out. When we get closer, the body on the bottom of the pile begins to jerk and scream for help.

“Jesus,” I grunt.

Tessa gasps and squeezes my hand.

“Isn’t this supposed to be for kids?” I ask, brow furrowed as I watch the guy’s legs smack against the dirt. “Nolan would freak out seeing this.”

“Yeah, seriously. There were a lot of kids in that line.” Looking over at me with wide eyes, she shrugs. “Maybe this is the scariest thing we see?”

A chainsaw starts in the distance, startling Tessa. She stops on the path as several women scream, and squeezes my hand to the point of pain when a young boy runs toward us with his mother close behind.

“What the fuck?” I squint through the fog.

When the boy gets closer, I can see how frightened he looks—like Chase when he has those night terrors.

Eyes wide with panic, mouth open and ready to scream, a steady stream of tears spilling down his face.

Jesus. This could scar him for life.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay! It’s not real!” the mother yells as the two of them run past us. “They aren’t really burning people alive! I promise!”

Tessa and I share a look.

“Um, why don’t we walk a little faster,” she suggests, tugging on my hand. “Come on.”

The path bends around a tree, and we move quicker now, Tessa not even bothering to look at the haunted displays around us. She clings to me with her arms squeezing my waist and her head smashed against my ribs, keeping her eyes focused ahead.

We pass a corpse on the ground with his intestines torn out of him. His guts are spilling out onto the dirt. When zombies emerge from behind a large rock to feed on the remains, looking real as shit—like a bunch of extras straight out of The Walking Dead—Tessa gasps and clutches my shirt with both hands.

“Luke,” she whispers, her voice shaking as she watches them with unblinking eyes. The corpse starts to groan. His legs twitch and kick out. “Luke.”

“Thought you wanted scary,” I remind her.

“Yeah . . . not this scary. Do something.”

“Do what? Arrest them?”

She nods frantically.

I chuckle and guide her around another bend to keep us moving.

I know she’s scared now. And I don’t mind getting this over with so we can get out of here and get to the party at McGill’s.

That’s more my style—hanging out with our friends in a well-lit environment. Alcohol to get my mind off this fucked-up shit.

I’m going straight for the liquor tonight.

We come up on a run-down house. It’s pitch black inside the windows, but there’s screaming coming from somewhere close by.

Kids screaming. How fucked up is that?

And it sounds real too, not some recording they’re playing to freak everybody out.

Tessa’s body goes rigid in my arms and her feet start to drag on the dirt. I look up to see what’s got her reacting this way and freeze, every muscle in my body locking up.

On the porch, a man dressed like a baby rocks in a chair, drinking from a bottle filled with blood. His chin drips red.

“Jesus Christ. Are you shittin’ me?” I glare at the guy when he lowers the bottle and grins, pushing blood between his teeth. My lip curls. “You got a problem?” I ask him, stepping closer.

“Luke.” Tessa peels herself off my side and pulls on my hand. “Come on. He’s creeping me out.”

We keep moving. I feel my heart pound against my ribs as I watch the freak keep smiling at me over my shoulder.

He stands from the chair.

I stop walking then, and for a split second I think he’s coming after us.

My shoulders pull back. I give him a look—Do it, motherfucker. I am so fucking ready to drop this weirdo, but he sits back down, laughing his ass off, and drinks more from his bottle.

Fuck. Maybe Tessa was right. I should just start arresting people. I bet this freak has a shitload of helpless victims locked in his basement. His outfit alone is probable cause enough for me.

What grown-ass man would volunteer to dress up like a baby?

“What?” Tessa asks at my back. “What is it?”

I turn away from the guy then and put my arm around her, leading her away before she sees what I’m seeing. “Nothing. Let’s go.”

The path narrows. We duck beneath branches and low-hanging cobwebs, following a sharp curve around a tree, and when something jumps out at us and scares Tessa so bad she nearly takes off running, I work on instinct and throw a punch, knocking the dumb prick to the ground.

“Luke! What are you doing?” Tessa yells, moving around me to see who I’ve just hit.

I hear groaning.

Lots of groaning.

The word lawsuit flashes in my mind.

Oh, fuck. This could be bad.

Breath holding in panic, I lower my fist and follow her eyes to the poor bastard on the ground.

Wearing a clown mask, the guy I just leveled holds his face as he rocks side to side on the dirt.

He’s in pain. That’s clear.

And I caused it.

Fuck. What the fuck am I doing? I need to relax.

“Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to do that.” I reach out, offering to help him up—he’s not that big. He’s gotta be in college.

Please be in college. If I just hit a minor . . .

“Oh my God. Are you okay?” Tessa reaches out then too. “Jesus. Are you hurt?” she asks.

“God. What the hell, man?” the guy moans, getting to his feet without taking either of our hands.

I exhale a relieved breath when I hear how deep his voice is.

Thank fuck. That could’ve been bad.

Another reason why I don’t have any business coming to these things anymore—I’m too reactive. My ass is lucky if I get out of here tonight without anyone suing me.

The clown straightens out his mask so it’s sitting right on his face. “You’re on a haunted woods walk,” he says, looking in my direction. “People are going to jump out at you, you know. It’s part of the experience. You get what you paid for.”

“Yeah, my bad.” I run a hand over my buzzed hair, wincing. “You all right? You’re not bleeding or anything, are you?”

“I’m fine,” he bites out, sounding irritated as he brushes leaves off his pants.

Can’t say I blame him for being pissed. I went full strength with that punch.

Don’t know any other way.

“Jesus.” The guy pokes at the side of his mask, pushing it into his cheek. “What’s wrong with you? I bet I’ll have a black eye tomorrow. My mom’s gonna be pissed.”

“It’s that fuckin’ baby back there, all right? It got me all freaked,” I try to explain. “What the fuck is that? Kids are coming through here. Are you seriously trying to fuck ’em up for life?”

Tessa covers her mouth and giggles.

I glare at her. “You were scared too. Rushing me along. It’s your fault I hit him.”

“Oh, please.” She rolls her eyes. “You were ready to deck that giant man-baby. That had nothing to do with me, Luke, so don’t even.”

“He was grinning at me. Like he wanted me to tuck him in or some shit and sing him a fuckin’ lullaby. You saw him.”

Bastard probably has people buried in his backyard too. I wouldn’t doubt it for a second.

“Oh yeah. Chester likes to do that,” the clown shares, drawing my attention. “Really freaks people out.”

“Chester? As in Chester the molester?” I take a step closer and hook my thumb behind me in the general direction of freakville. “That fuck better not be a registered sex offender. I don’t give a damn if it’s Halloween or not. I will haul his ass out of here and shut this shit down. Where’s Weber? Is he here?”

I’m sure that old man keeps files of everyone he hires for shit like this. Just saying I’m a cop can get me all the access I need.

You’re going down, motherfucker.

“Luke, relax,” Tessa chuckles, grabbing my arm. “He’s just playing a part. I’m sure he’s not some creepy perv.”

I gape at her. “Are you? ’Cause I’m bettin’ he’s on a watch list. You saw him.”

And with a name like that? There’s no doubt in my mind now.

The government has all eyes on that fucker.

“Dude, you need to chill.” The clown crosses his arms over his chest and stands tall. “That’s not his real name, bro. He just goes by that when he’s here. It’s part of the act. His real name isn’t pervy at all. It’s Dave.” He cocks his head. “Does that sound pervy to you, my man?”

My man?

“Dude. Bro. There’s something wrong with him,” I grunt. “I don’t give a fuck if it’s part of the act. Who the fuck smiles like that? It’s weird.”

Giant baby freak. The second he stood up, I should’ve leveled his ass. Why the fuck did I hesitate?

“Didn’t you see the signs? Be ready for anything.” The clown shrugs. “We mean anything, brah. Just wait. You thought the baby was bad . . .”

Brah?

Is this kid serious?

I shake my head, advising, “Okay. Quit with the nicknames already. We aren’t friends. Even if we were? You sound like a fuckin’ douchebag. Just talk normal.”

Tessa snickers.

“Free country, guy.”

I close my eyes and breathe deep, searching for calm. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Hitting him again will bring you nothing but trouble. Then looking to Tessa, I suggest, “Can we just go? I’ve seen enough, and two more seconds of this conversation and I’m gonna get arrested. No joke.”

My wife, who seems to be enjoying the hell out of herself right now, and in no way looks scared anymore, tilts her head with a smile.

The clown laughs, causing the muscles in my shoulders to tense up. “Come on, amigo, don’t be weak,” he says. “Weber’s is for kids. It’s sad if you can’t handle it.”

I glare at the piece of shit and step closer until I’m up in his space, adrenaline coursing through me now. “You want to say that to me again?” I ask.

Fuck this prick. Don’t be weak? I will gladly spend a night in jail if it means shutting him the fuck up. I’m not even sorry I hit him anymore.

Before the guy has the chance to repeat himself, Tessa quickly wraps her hands around my neck and kisses my cheek. “Come on. It can’t get that much worse,” she whispers. “Let’s keep going.”

I look at her. “You sure? You were pretty fuckin’ scared.”

“I’m sure. You’ll protect me.”

“You know, it’s typically the guys making their girls push through this,” the clown shares. “Funny how this is the other way around.”

I slowly turn my head.

The clown jerks back like he’s afraid I’m going to hit him. Then, thinking wisely for the first time in his life, I’m betting, he backs away from me, his hands raised defensively as he pleads, “Cool. Stay cool, bro,” before spinning around and running off. He turns a corner, but his voice carries in the wind.

“Be ready for anything, sport! And don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

“Jesus Christ,” I grumble, looking to the sky. “That kid is gonna get decked a lot in his life. Nobody should use that many fuckin’ nicknames. It’s not normal.”

“I can’t believe you punched him. You’re such a dick.” Tessa smiles up at me when I meet her eyes. “Aw.” She touches the furrow in my brow, pressing closer, and wraps her arms around my neck. “I love you so much right now, babe. It’s crazy.”

“’Cause I punched him, or ’cause I’m hatin’ every second of this?” I ask her.

“Both.” She smiles again when I shake my head. “Really though, I know you didn’t want to come to here. I know you. You think these things are stupid . . .”

“You ask, babe. Whatever it is, I’m there. You know that.”

“I know.” She tilts her head up, inviting me for a kiss I take zero seconds to fucking get in on. “Thank you for bringing me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now let’s hurry up and get through this because I am seriously freaked out.”

I lean back to glare at her. “I fuckin’ knew it. You don’t want to be here either, do you?”

She shrugs, smiling as she slips her arms off my shoulders. “It does seem a little too real, right?”

“You think?”

“It can’t get that much worse though. Weber would be paying for everyone’s therapy and lose the farm. It isn’t like they made us sign any waivers when we bought our tickets. They’re liable for any psychological damage.”

I rub at my mouth, thinking on this.

Tessa has a point.

That clown could’ve been bluffing. The little prick would do something like that just to mess with me.

Paybacks are a bitch.

Doesn’t explain the freaked-out kid, though . . .

Christ. Whatever. Pushing that memory out of my head, I grab Tessa’s hand and lead her down the path. “Let’s just get this shit over with. I need a drink.”

“Me too.”

We move deeper into the woods. Around the next curve, we see three witches hanging from a tree. There’s a mob standing there watching, pitchforks and torches raised, while they chant out “Cursed!” and “Begone, devil worshippers!” The fog grows thicker at our feet and rises to waist level.

We keep going, Tessa staying pressed against my side until she sees a graveyard and tombstones up ahead.

“Ooh. Let’s go read what’s on them,” she suggests, pulling away from me to step off the path.

“Go for it.”

I stuff my hands in my pockets and stay where I am.

When I hear a branch break, my head whips around and my muscles tighten. Eyes narrowed at the tree line, I stare into the darkness and watch for movement.

“Aw, these aren’t scary. Here lies Bea. A. Fraid. Lame! Luke, come look. Some of these are kind of funny.”

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I turn around and dig it out, saying, “Just read them to me,” as I swipe my thumb across the screen.

I look at the message from Ben.

Mia’s pregnant. We just found out today. She wanted to tell Tessa first, but I’m thinking hearing it from you might be better. Not sure how she’s gonna react.

The sound of Tessa’s soft laugh lifts my head, and the words pour out of my mouth before I have the chance to even think about what I’m saying, how I’m saying it, if I should be fucking saying it at all. They just come out.

Words that could kill her. I just say them.

“Mia’s pregnant.”

Tessa stands from the squatting position she was in and blinks at me. “What?” she asks, voice quiet.

My shoulders pull back.

That what isn’t because she didn’t hear me. I know she heard me.

That what is just another way of saying what the fuck?

Why them? Why not us?

“Your brother just texted me,” I tell her, stuffing my phone away without giving him a response. He knows what I’m dealing with. “They wanted you to know first. They just found out. Hey . . .”

Tessa starts shaking her head, her hand coming up to cover her mouth and her eyes lowering to the dirt. “I did it again,” she murmurs. “I can’t believe I did it again.”

I move closer, staring hard at her face and trying to see her better. “You did what again?”

What is she talking about?

“I felt . . . I don’t know, angry. I was angry at Mia. That’s the first thing I felt, Luke.” She looks at me then, and even though it’s dark and the light is shadowing her face, I know she has tears in her eyes. “The same thing happened when Beth told us on girls’ night that she was pregnant. I got pissed off. I got pissed off because she was pregnant and I wasn’t. How could I feel that? That’s so fucked up. And to Mia and Ben? God . . . what the fuck? Seriously? How could I feel that toward my best friend and my brother? What’s wrong with me?”

“Babe—”

“What’s wrong with me, Luke?” she repeats, her voice cracking. “I’m serious. There’s something wrong with me. I know there is. God . . . this shouldn’t be hard! Everyone else is getting pregnant. So why not us? I don’t get it! Is it something I did? Is it something I’m not doing? I know five months isn’t that long for some people, but I’m not some people. So what? What is it?” A sob catches in her throat. Her fists clench, shaking as she raises them next to her face.

Tessa looks ready to scream or cry or both.

I can’t breathe. Seeing her like this—it fucking kills me.

I move, needing to get to her. Needing to touch her somehow. But just as I’m about to reach out and pull her into my arms, Tessa rounds the tombstone she’s standing in front of to get back out onto the path and charges ahead.

“Let’s just go,” she says, staying just out of my reach, her feet hurrying her. “Let’s just keep going and get the fuck out of here. I can’t be here anymore. I can’t—” her voice cuts with a scream when a figure lunges out of the shadows, and Tessa reacts, no hesitation, throwing one helluva punch.

The figure hits the ground, groaning.

Lots of groaning.

Exactly the way he did the first time . . .

“Oh fuck,” I mumble, eyes wide and locked on the guy who is absolutely going to fucking sue us. No doubt about that now.

“Dude! Again?” he bellows.

Hands raised, I watch the clown slowly get to his feet and adjust his mask. “Wasn’t me. Swear to God. I was back there,” I say, looking over at Tessa and expecting her to confirm my innocence. “Babe?”

Tessa has her hand covering her mouth and her head lowered, keeping her face out of view.

My gut tightens. I feel nauseous and ready to knock this idiot out again just to get some fucking privacy with my woman, until Tessa’s soft, breathy laugh pushes out from between her fingers. Her shoulders begin to jerk.

I smile.

Running a hand over my hair, I start laughing then too. I can’t help it.

“Oh. Nice. Real nice. You both are major assholes, you know that?” the clown asks. “Fuck you very much. My mom is going to freak out on me now. Two black eyes? We’re getting family pictures tomorrow!”

Tessa leans into me, laughing harder now. She lowers her hand from her mouth to grip the Henley thermal I’m wearing.

I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her hair, my entire body shaking against hers.

“I think it’d be best if you both just go.”

Not a bad idea.

“Babe?” I lean away to see her face.

This is her call.

Briefly meeting my eyes, Tessa nods and then looks at the clown. “We’re going. This place sucks balls,” she tells him before spinning around so I can lead her back the way we came.

“Sucks balls? You both just can’t handle it!”

“Go get some ice, junior!” I holler, causing Tessa to fall into a laughing fit again, her head hitting the side of my chest when I pull her closer and her arm circling my waist.

“Don’t make fun of me, guy! That’s so not cool!”

“Dumb fuckin’ idiot. I told you that kid was gonna end up getting punched a lot in his life,” I murmur against the top of Tessa’s head as we follow the path. We pass a group of teenage girls who look two seconds away from turning around and following us out. “Didn’t think it’d be my woman doing it though. That was fuckin’ hot, babe.”

Tessa remains quiet.

When I tilt my head down to look at her, I can see her eyes are lost in focus on the dirt. She’s not smiling anymore or laughing at what just happened.

She’s back inside her head again. Worrying. Wondering. Most likely thinking the worst about herself in terms of reacting the way she did and the shit we’re going through.

That’s just it though—we’re going through it. She’s not alone. And it’s my fault if she thinks she is. I should’ve made sure Tessa knew I was with her months ago when I first started seeing signs of concern. I should’ve brought it up, even if it did mean upsetting her even more.

When you pick at a wound, it bleeds. But we should’ve been talking about this.

Her question from minutes ago circles around in my head. I can still hear it. Only now, I’m wondering the same thing.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Babe.”

Tessa’s body stiffens at the sound of my voice. She blinks, sending a tear rolling down her cheek, and turns her face so it’s buried against my side and I can’t watch her break apart.

Regrets sits like a heavy weight pressing on my chest. It’s unforgiving.

Maybe it should be.

I didn’t say a fucking word to her, and I should’ve.

“Come here.” I stop walking then and bend down, slide one arm underneath Tessa’s knees, and pick her up so she’s cradled against my front. “I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much. Nothing’s changing that,” I tell her, needing her to know this in case she’s questioning it.

Tessa sniffles and lets me carry her the rest of the way. She doesn’t fight it. Her hand slides around my neck as she presses her face against the underside of my jaw. Her tears, wet and warm, soak into my skin.

“Shh,” I whisper against her hair.

We pass the freak with the bottle. The zombies. The bodies wrapped and bleeding through the white sheets.

Nothing stops me. Nothing turns my head or pauses my steps. I’m focused on her and getting us out of here.

I don’t give a shit about any of this.

We get to the parking lot and reach my truck in the far back corner.

I manage to open the passenger side door without putting her down and climb in, keeping Tessa in my arms and sitting her on my lap. There’s no point separating and getting in on the driver’s side. I’m not going anywhere and risking a wreck, knowing full well where my attention is going to stay. And we sure as hell are not having this conversation without my hands on her. I’d go fucking crazy and cause a wreck myself just so I could pull her into my arms.

I close the door and slide Tessa’s legs closer to my hip so she’s facing me more, her weight sitting on my knees and her back against the dash. The silence in the truck is heavy around us and thick in the air. I can’t stand it.

And there’s not a damn thing she needs to say right now. This is all me.

“Good or bad, if this works out or if it doesn’t, tell me you know—I’m not going anywhere.” I pause, meeting her eyes when she lifts them off my shirt.

She blinks.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “Tell me I’ve done my fuckin’ job as your man, Tessa, and made sure you aren’t doubting that. ’Cause if I haven’t and that’s what’s got you stuck in your head thinkin’ the worst the way you’re doing right fuckin’ now, the way I’ve watched you do the past five months, my life might as well end right here, ’cause I don’t deserve shit. Not you. Not anything more than this. Nothing.”

“Luke,” she whispers, lips trembling as those damn tears well up in her eyes again.

“I’m a fuckin’ asshole,” I continue on. “I know what I am. I know what I’ve done and all the bad I got coming to me. I haven’t exactly been a model son. More times than I can count, I’ve been a worthless friend. I’m basically a prick to everyone. And landing you? Fuck, that was . . . I don’t know. Crazy fuckin’ luck, or maybe the universe cutting me a break for once in my goddamned life. I’ve been shit on a lot, but that doesn’t mean I’m worth dick. I know that. And the good you give me, babe? The good I feel every fuckin’ day knowing I’m attached to you is more good than I ever fuckin’ deserve to feel. I know it is. I’m not stupid. Honest to God, I basically walk around waiting for you to figure it out and question what the fuck you’re even doing with me. So you gotta know, Tessa, if this is it? If we can’t have a kid for whatever reason and it’s just me and you for the rest of our lives? I’m good. Babe, I am so fuckin’ good. I might not walk around grinning like a fuckin’ idiot every second of the day like Reed does, or get that stupid, fuckin’ dopey look on my face like Ben when he talks about Mia, but I’m right there. I’m just as fucked over you, and nothing’s ever changing that. Kid or no kid. Ask me.”

Tessa goes to wipe the tears from her cheeks but I do it for her, then keep my hands on either side of her face, pulling her in so our foreheads are touching.

“Ask me,” I say again, watching her mouth twitch. “I don’t need anything else. I swear to God, I don’t.”

“But you want kids,” she whispers.

“I want you. Everything else is just bonus.”

Tessa breathes deep, her hands sliding up my chest to my neck and holding there. “Mia thinks I’m stressing out too much, and that’s why I haven’t gotten pregnant yet.”

“She might be right.”

Makes sense. Not that I’m a fucking expert on it or anything, but I know what stress can do to a person. I know it can make you sick.

I watched it happen to my dad after my mom died.

“I don’t know,” Tessa says, moving her fingers back and forth on my neck. “I worry it isn’t. And I can’t get that worry out of my head. I want to give you this so bad, Luke, and I might not be able to. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“So know I can handle it, and focus only on that,” I say, watching the way her lips press together. “I’m serious. If you think I haven’t thought about every fuckin’ way this could play out, Tessa, you’re wrong. I’m ready. If we can’t do this on our own and end up seeking help from some doctor, and still, nothing? I can handle it. If we look into adopting and that shit doesn’t pan out? Fine. I told you, I’ll be good no matter what happens.”

“Why wouldn’t adopting pan out for us?” she asks, sounding confused as she leans back to see me better.

My brows raise. “Don’t you gotta be interviewed for shit like that?”

“I don’t know. I guess.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, babe, but we’re both assholes. It’s why we fuckin’ work. And I’m betting whoever is interviewing us is gonna figure that out real quick and shut that shit down, labeling us unsuitable or whatever the fuck. No way is anyone willingly giving us a kid once they meet us. I can’t act nice. And you basically hate everyone.”

A low, sweet laugh pushes past Tessa’s lips.

I drop my head against the seat, smiling for the first time in what feels like days, my limbs lighter now and that weight shifting off my chest. “So yeah, worst-case scenario, like I said, I’m good,” I tell her, dropping my hands to her hips. “Know that, and don’t ever forget it. I will always be good with just this. Okay?”

Her shoulders drop on an exhale, and she nods her head. “Okay.”

“Quit stressing.”

“Quit thinking you don’t deserve the world, Luke, because you do.”

I cock my head.

She cocks hers, brows lifting in challenge.

“Christ. Is this gonna be an argument?” I ask.

“No. Not unless you agree. You deserve my good. You always will, even when you’re being the world’s biggest prick, which is like, most weekdays and every major holiday.”

I close my eyes on a heavy exhale, feeling Tessa’s lips press against mine.

“I want to give you that, Luke—all the good in the world. I want you to have it.”

Hands gripping her ass, I slide her closer and nip at her lip. “I do. I got it all.”

She growls, deep in her throat. “Quit being so fucking sweet. It confuses me.”

Jerking back, I meet her eyes, and with a raised brow, question, “Is telling you my dick needs to find its way in your mouth right fuckin’ now too sweet for you? ’Cause I can reword it.”

She smiles, wetting her lips. Her hands slip under my thermal and tug at my belt. “Nope. Total asshole move right there.”

“It’s all I know.”

“Lucky for you, it’s all I like.”

She slides off my lap and kneels on the floorboard between my knees.

I push my hands into her hair, head dropping back and mouth falling open when her hot tongue lashes against my skin.

“Fuck,” I groan.

She swallows me whole.

“Lucky for me” is right.