“I don’t want any excuses about national security. This is Ryan we’re talking about.” Sissie knew pleading with Mark didn’t normally have any effect, but she wasn’t going to take no for an answer either.
“Sissie, you already know more than you should.”
She walked over to him and in a low voice asked, “And how much does Hannah know?” Sissie didn’t like bringing her cousin into this equation, but she knew Hannah was the one person Mark would do anything to protect. If Mark could think clearly, he’d know Sissie would never do anything to hurt Hannah either. She only hoped he didn’t call her bluff.
“Don’t bring her into this.” Mark gritted his teeth as he uttered the warning.
Mark intimidated almost everyone. She, on the other hand, had never been afraid of him. All her training as a forensic profiler meant she could read the ones who were trained to hide their emotions. If he was anything like what he pretended to be, she sure as heck would’ve never fixed him up with Hannah in the first place. There was no doubt he was strong, tough, and could take a life, but she knew he did what was needed to protect his country. She right now was doing what she needed to for the ones she loved.
“So we have an understanding. You tell me everything, and I’ll keep it to myself.”
“Damn it, Sissie. You’re the most infuriating woman I’ve ever met.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
Mark had been leaning against the counter. She watched as he got up and walked to the door. He opened it, looked out, then shut it again. It was as though he needed to confirm they were alone. That was promising. And it scared her a bit. She knew he was going to share things with her that she wished she didn’t need to know.
For years, she’d hid from this. Using her gift of reading people for something fun, something positive. Matchmaking couples brought joy into her life. She closed this door and sworn never to open it again. That was before Ryan. Not knowing scared her more than any truth Mark might tell her.
When Mark approached her again, his tone changed. “If we do this it’s on my terms.”
“Understood.” She had no choice, but she had her ways to get what she wanted. For now, she would listen.
“What do you know so far?”
“I know about Janet and how she died. If I’m right, seven years later we’re back to the beginning, facing the same darn thing.”
Mark was shocked. “How do you know all this?”
“Ryan told me some, and I have a knack at being able to put things together that others don’t. Does that surprise you?”
“The only thing that surprises me is that you don’t work for the government. Your talents are wasted in that bar. Not too late. I could make some calls and—”
“We’re not here to discuss my employment status. All I need to know is what happened to Ryan and if he’s gonna make it?” She hated asking the question so darn bluntly, but she needed a straight answer. Ryan was sleeping, and Donna was sitting by his bedside. She didn’t want to be gone long, but she needed answers. Not just for her, but so she would be ready to help Donna through what was going to come next.
She waited for Mark to say yes, but instead, he shrugged. “We don’t know.”
Sissie felt her legs go weak and her stomach flip-flop. Even though she’d seen him and knew what he was facing, she wasn’t made of stone. Mark must’ve noticed as he stepped closer and pulled out a chair so she could sit. Mark took the one opposite from her. She needed a second to gather her thoughts before continuing. Then she asked, “Why isn’t Ryan at the hospital instead of hiding out here?”
Mark reached his hand out and held one of hers. “They can’t help him. Actually, I’m not sure we can either. Marina is the only chance he has right now.”
Tears welled and fought for control. There were moments a woman was never ready for. Saying goodbye to the man she loved was one of them. If she broke down now, the conversation would end. “What makes you think she can help? Is she the one who created this?”
“No. But she knew the chemist who did.”
“How?”
“Her father, General Floyd, had another chemist working in one of the secure labs near her. She told me when she questioned them, they said they were working on a project for the military. She only figured out what they were actually doing after she discovered what her father was truly after.”
“What was that?” Sissie feared she already had the answer. It wasn’t a pretty one either.
“JT and Floyd were out to develop biological weapons.”
“And is that what killed Janet?” And is killing Ryan?
“Yes. Marina had no research back then to assist in any way. She also had no idea Janet had been infected.”
“So what has changed that makes you think Ryan isn’t going to suffer the same fate as Janet?” She needed something more substantial than hope. Although she knew it was important for Ryan to have it, she wanted to make sure everything possible was being done to save his life. A life I want to share with him.
“The chemist who created it wasn’t nearly as good as Marina. That is why they wanted her so badly. Everything they’d done so far was to draw her out. Get her to work for them. She did everything to avoid that from happening, even risked her own life. Now she works with us and has dedicated her life to saving others. They knew if they had Marina, no one could stop them.”
She looked in his eyes and knew he was telling the truth. That woman in the lab was Ryan’s only hope. That made her the most important person in the world as far as she was concerned. “What can I do to help?”
“Keep him fighting long enough for her to nail down the right formula.” Mark’s expression softened. “I’m really glad you disobeyed yet another order and came here anyway.”
“Why is that?”
“Ryan needs you.”
Me? No one needs me. “He needed Donna.”
“That too. But don’t dismiss your importance to him.”
“And you know this how?” Sissie asked. Mark wasn’t one to talk about emotional stuff, so if he was willing, she’d listen.
“Because he wasn’t leaving you behind. Not under any circumstances. Actually, he went head-to-head with Lou to make sure both you and Donna were out of harm’s way before—”
She peered at him. He was holding back, and she needed him to finish that sentence. “Before what?”
“Before working with us to set the trap.”
Oh, my God. This wasn’t a mistake. “You mean you used him?”
“No. He knew the risk.”
Ryan wasn’t a soldier and had so much to lose. Nothing about teaming up with Mark made any sense. “Why would he do that?”
“He knew it wouldn’t end unless we could take down the one in charge. Sissie, I know this is hard. What Ryan did probably saved more lives than we’ll ever know.”
She was proud of him for being so brave, but look where it got him. He might die. “The price is high.”
“Yes, it is.” She noticed Mark’s somber expression and remembered he’d also lost men during this. Men she’d met. She knew they weren’t just members of his SEAL team. Hannah had told her they were more like family, more like brothers than anything else. She understood that because Jack was more like family to her as well, and he gave his life for this cause.
Although she thought it was crazy for those guys to be rushing out into combat knowing they might not make it back, she remembered what she did at Don’s cabin. She had no thoughts about herself as she grabbed those knives. It was the same thing. Instead of Ryan fighting for his life, it could easily have been her.
For Sissie, there was only one question left. “Did it accomplish what you set out to do?”
“Because of what Ryan did, we finally got them. It doesn’t mean another group won’t surface, but this one is finished. The few stragglers that remain will be taken care of by the team. They can’t function without a leader for long.”
It gave her peace, knowing Mark wasn’t going to rest until they were all accounted for. “Does Ryan know?”
Mark nodded.
“Promise me something.”
“I don’t make promises.”
Sissie had heard that from him several times since they met, yet somehow he always kept his word. “If Ryan doesn’t make it, please make sure Donna knows the truth. She should know her father was . . . was a—” She choked as tears finally broke free.
“Hero.”
She wiped her cheeks. Getting up, she headed for the door. “Tell Marina thank you for all she’s doing for Ryan.”
“I will. And Sissie, I’m sorry about Jack.”
She turned and faced him again. “Thanks, he was . . . a good man.”
“That he was. I know what he meant to you. To Honeywell.”
“And to your sister and Derrick too. I’d like to be there when the truth comes out about his death, if you don’t mind.”
“I’d like that. Honeywell will need you, and I’m sure Jack would’ve wanted you to be there for them.”
She nodded. That’s how they did things back home. They were there through the good and bad. She really hoped good days would return soon. Turning her back to the door, she said, “If you need me, I’ll be with Donna by Ryan’s side.”
Sissie headed back to the room where she’d left Ryan, fast asleep. Her heart was heavy with everything she’d learned. She needed time to process it, to gain her strength back, but she couldn’t bear to be away from him a moment longer. If this was all the time they had together, she wanted every minute to be with him. And if he woke again she was going to make sure she told him how she felt. And hopefully, between her and Donna, they could give him a big enough reason to live.
Ryan woke again, still feeling weak, but this time his head felt clearer. Not so much in a fog as it had been. He wasn’t sure what had changed or even if it was for the better, all he knew was it was different.
He didn’t open his eyes right away. Part of him was afraid that Donna and Sissie had only been a dream. Although it was sweet, he didn’t want reality back if it didn’t include them. Ryan had spent years alone, and he didn’t want another minute of that.
Slowly he opened them. The lights had been dimmed a bit, but he saw Donna sleeping in a chair on the right side of his bed. She had a blanket pulled all the way up to her neck, and she looked so peaceful. He wanted to call out to her but having her in the same room was enough.
Ryan looked to the other side, hoping to see Sissie but instead he saw Marina. She was smiling at him. In a very low voice she said, “Welcome back.” He was puzzled by that and she explained, “I had to put you in a medically induced coma so the medication could take effect.”
“How long?” He remembered Jeremy saying he would only have days to live. Since he wasn’t dead, he couldn’t have been out that long.
“Almost two weeks.”
Holy shit. There was no way he heard right. No way two weeks of his life had slipped by and he’d not remembered one thing.
“Easy, Ryan. Don’t get all worked up. You’re still on the mend.”
He liked the sound of that word, mend. “You mean—”
“Yes, you’re going to live. And so is your friend Henri.”
Ryan looked at the glass window that was between their rooms. He still could only see the monitor. “How is he?”
“His recovery will take longer. And most likely he’ll need some therapy, but I believe with time, he’ll recover fully, just like you will.”
Thank God. He didn’t want to die, but also didn’t want to have to explain to his family how Henri died because of him. There was so much he wanted to say, but all that came out was, “Thank you.”
Marina nodded. “Now I think you have some people here who’ve been waiting, not so patiently, for you to wake up.”
“Hi, Dad,” Donna said as she bent down and gave him a kiss on his forehead. He reached out for her hand, and she gave it to him. “I’m right here. And so is Sissie.”
He looked behind Donna but couldn’t see her. Then he felt her touch his other hand. When he turned and found her standing there, he felt complete. Giving both their hands a squeeze he said, “I couldn’t wake up to a more beautiful sight.”
Sissie gave him a warm smile, but Donna said, “Compared to you, we look great.”
He turned to her and said, “That bad?”
She nodded. “You need a shave.”
Ryan cocked a brow. He would’ve felt his face but he didn’t want to let go of their hands.
“I don’t know. I think he looks quite handsome with a beard. He has that rugged cowboy look.” Sissie gave him a playful wink.
He was still very weak, but he was glad neither of them treated him like he was on his deathbed. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll wait and see myself in a mirror before I make my decision.”
“It looks like he’s back to being in control again,” Donna teased.
Sissie laughed. “Was there ever any doubt that was going to happen?”
Donna shrugged. “I thought having to live at home with him was too much. Being in this bunker changed my mind on that.”
Ryan looked at them both. “You guys stayed here the entire time?”
They nodded. “Where else would we be?” Sissie asked.
Anyplace but with me. He had done so much to control them and push them away. Yet through it all, they stayed. Ryan knew he didn’t deserve either one of them. He could spend the rest of his life trying to make up for his behavior, and it wouldn’t put a dent in it. He could say it was to protect them and that was true. But there were other ways, not just his way.
Ryan always made decisions alone. That didn’t mean they were right, but he owned them for what they were. Facing death as he had made him wonder why he’d spent so much time pushing everyone away. With them here now, he couldn’t picture his life without both of them in it.
Turning to Donna he said, “I haven’t been the best father. Oh heck, call a spade a spade. I sucked at it. If there were mistakes to make, I made them. I’m really sorry about that.”
“What are you talking about, Dad? Yeah, you weren’t perfect, but I don’t know anyone who is. The one thing you did well was make sure I knew I was loved. What else could a daughter wish for?”
Ryan had a list of things but none of them mattered. She might have forgiven him, but he hadn’t forgiven himself. That was going to take time. And thankfully it sounded like he was going to have time to do so.
Lifting Donna’s hand to his lips, he kissed it. Then he turned to Sissie who had taken in their exchange. He saw how happy she was, watching their joy. She thought of everyone else before herself. Their happiness meant more than her own. It was just another reason why he loved her. I love her.
He tried to think if he’d ever told her. But why would he? He was so busy trying to keep his distance he’d never had let the barrier down long enough to express his feelings. Yeah, he made love to her, but that wasn’t the same as saying the words.
“What about you, Sissie? Do I make you feel loved?”
She looked at him with surprise written all over her face. “I . . . I know you care.”
This wasn’t how he planned on having this conversation. Definitely not while holding his daughter’s hand. It should’ve been someplace quiet and romantic. He’d pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless as he told her again and again how much he loved her. Unfortunately he was still too weak to get out of bed, and he didn’t want to let go of either of them. No matter what Marina may have done, he knew he fought for his life so he could return to them both.
Pulling Sissie’s hand to his lips, he kissed hers then spoke again. “Don’t tell me that you don’t feel it.”
She looked at Donna and then back to him. “Ryan, you’re tired. Maybe you should rest.”
“Hell woman, I hear I’ve been sleeping for two damn weeks. Now answer me. Do you feel it?”
She nodded but said nothing. Sissie wasn’t shy, at least not since he’d gotten to know her better. Yet her cheeks turned pink and she wasn’t able to utter a word. Was it possible she didn’t love him? Why should she? He hadn’t given her any reason to.
“Maybe I should leave you two alone,” Donna said.
“No,” Ryan said while firmly holding her hand.
“Okay then. Sissie, do you love my dad?”
Sissie turned to her and said, “Yes, very much.”
“Great. Dad, do you love Sissie?”
Ryan didn’t take his eyes off Sissie for one second. “With all my heart.”
“Well, that was easy,” Donna said confidently.
Ryan asked Sissie again, “Do you feel it?”
“Yes, Ryan. I do.”
“Then I need you to promise me something.”
Sissie asked, “What do you need?”
Ryan pulled both Donna’s and Sissie’s hands onto his chest. “I have everything I need right here in my hands.”
They both smiled at him. “Then what do you need me to promise?”
Looking at Sissie he said, “Promise that the day I don’t make you feel as loved as you deserve to be, you will tell me. Because you, Sissie . . . you deserve the sun and moon.”
“Oh my God, that’s so sweet,” Donna said.
Neither Sissie nor Ryan responded to her. “Can you promise me that?”
He watched Sissie’s eyes glisten, and she nodded.
“I love you Sissie. More than you’ll ever know.”
Sissie bent and kissed him briefly. “I love you too, Ryan.” When she stood she put her hand to her lips and said, “I changed my mind.”
Both he and Donna had a look of shock. He’d had everything he wanted, and he was overjoyed, now she was taking it back. “You don’t love me?”
She smiled. “Yes, I love you. I was talking about the beard. I think you should shave.”
With a sigh of relief, he laughed. “Anything for my girls.”