Jet

How’d I go from trying to keep my distance to being in a relationship?

She called my house “home” on the phone. I know it was a slip on her part, but damn if it didn’t make me wish that it was more for her.

Thinking back to our talk before she fell asleep, I pray that yes she gave me wasn’t a dream. I may not have planned for this, but I don’t regret telling her how I feel. I never saw Hannah Nichols coming, but now that she’s here, I’m not ready to let her go.

I’m curious how she’ll feel when the sun rises. With her sleeping soundly next to me, I’m not anxious for the day to invade.

Alfie needs to be up soon, so I decide to let her sleep in. I’m going off two hours of sleep from the plane ride home, but I want to see him. I carefully get out of bed so I don’t wake her and get dressed by plucking clothes off the floor and sneaking out the door, closing it behind me.

First priority—coffee. I start the pot and pull on a shirt and jeans before going into Alfie’s room. Kneeling, I rub his arm to wake him. “Hey buddy, it’s time to get up.”

He yawns and then opens his eyes. The smile is instant, and he throws his arms around my neck. “You’re home.”

“I’m home. Missed you.”

“Missed you.”

“You hungry?”

He nods, and we make our way to the kitchen. “Hannah’s sleeping, so it’s just you and me this morning. Eggs?”

“Waffles. Hannah let me choose any flavor I wanted.” I check the freezer and see a box of frozen waffles.

“Chocolate chip. Good choice.” I pop two in the toaster. “Go get dressed and they’ll be ready when you are.”

He runs off, and I pour a cup of coffee just as I hear Hannah speaking to him in the hall. “Whoa! Slow down, Alfie.”

I pull another mug from the cabinet and fill it, though I leave enough room for the creamer she likes to add. When she comes around the corner, a smile I’ve only seen in private is on full display. “Good morning,” I say, pulling her close by a belt loop.

Glancing over her shoulder and then back at me, she whispers, “Good morning.” I go in for a kiss, but she stops me. “We can’t. We’ll talk after Alfie is at school.”

“What are you going to talk about when I’m in school?” Alfie asks, coming in just as the waffles pop up.

“Nothing,” she replies quickly, stepping out of his way when he rushes back in for breakfast.

She shakes her head at me, but she’s not mad. That little smile she’s trying so hard to hide behind the mug comes with music to my ears in the form of a giggle. Alfie is eyeing her while he eats his waffle, but then sets it down. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

When we reply in unison and a little too guiltily by how quick we both answer, he squints his eyes and looks at us. “Did you get a sunburn, Hannah? Remember when I got a sunburn at the park?”

She starts fanning herself after setting the mug down. “We should go so we’re not late. Grab your backpack, Alfie.”

“Can I eat in the car?”

“Yes.” He takes his waffle and gets his bag by the front door. When he’s out of earshot, she turns back to me and whispers, “I was thinking I could come back—”

“I want you to come back,” I reply, feeling good about how things are between us.

She nods and starts for the door. I catch Alfie in a hug. “It’s good to see you this morning, buddy.”

“Will I see you today?”

“I’ll pick you up from school.” His arms tighten around me, and he squeezes hard for a six-year-old. That’s my kid. “I like you, Jet.”

“I love you, Alfie.”

As I’m setting him down, I hear Hannah exhale a breath and look up. Her hand is covering her heart and tears are in her eyes. Moving closer, I take her hand and hold it. “Are you okay?”

“More than okay.” She clears her throat, and our little bubble is popped. “I’ll be back soon.”

“No hug?” I love pushing her buttons.

“No hug in front of him.”

I slap her ass as she walks out the door. “I’ll collect later.”

Alfie has run ahead on the sidewalk, but Hannah’s still on the porch. She shakes her ass for me. “Good luck with that, Crow.”

“I don’t need luck, baby.” I drag my hand over my stomach, pulling my shirt up along with it. “I got all I need right here.”

Her mouth drops open. “Do you really think I’m that weak that I’d fall for a few good abs?”

“A few?” I ask, lifting an eyebrow at her. The gauntlet has been thrown down.

Turning around on the path, she rests her hand on her hip. “Is that how we’re going to play this, Jet?” The alarm beeps, and Alfie starts climbing into her car.

“This is exactly how we’re going to play this, Ms. Nichols.”

With an exaggerated eye roll, she turns around, but then calls over her shoulder, “Game on, Crow. Game. On.”

I lean against the doorframe with a smile on my face and cross my arms, watching her walk down that path. This time, she’ll be coming back. Yeah, I win. “Bye, guys.”

After they drive away, I go back inside. I’m a stinky fuckin’ bastard, and since I’m hoping for more action with Hannah when she returns, I jump in the shower.

I’m in, out, and scrub my hair with the towel. I spend some time looking through my closet, but my best shirts went with me to LA and are now dirty. I stop acting like a chick and pull a tee from the shelf.

I keep checking the time, wondering when she’ll be back. It shouldn’t have taken this long, so I text her: Got an ETA?

Hannah: Do you miss me already?

Me: Yep.

Hannah: Charmer.

Me: Come back so I can show you how charming I can be.

Hannah: I think you showed me several times last night.

Me: And your point is?

Hannah: You’re right. I’ll be back in a few.

She isn’t, though. I sit on the front porch for the next hour wondering where she is and checking my phone regularly. I finally break down and call her, but she doesn’t answer.

Worrying, I pace. I’m about to go inside and busy myself with some housework that needs to be done, but the sound of tires turning into the driveway pulls my attention back. I walk down the steps and greet her by opening the door. “Hey, I was starting to worry.”

She unbuckles her seat belt and smiles, but something is off. “We’ve already jumped to worrying about each other?”

“Guess so.”

Standing with the door between us, she hides her eyes behind large sunglasses. When she shifts and lowers her head, I know something’s off. Something’s wrong. She’s quick to duck out from between the car and me. “You don’t need to worry about me, Jet. I can take care of myself.”

I shut the door, and she clicks the alarm, locking the doors when she walks away. I follow her up the sidewalk but step around her and block the door. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Then take your sunglasses off, look me in the eyes, and tell me nothing’s wrong. If you do, I’ll back off.”

She crosses her arms over her chest, her stance firming. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m not telling you. I’m asking you what’s wrong. Clearly, something is.” Taking her wrists, I try to unfold her arms and make her feel more comfortable. “Hey.” I tilt my head to the side. “It’s me. The guy you said you can’t say no to last night. C’mon, Hannah. Talk to me.”

Her arms fall to her side, and her head falls forward to rest against my chest. I bring her in and hold her. Kissing the top of her head, I whisper, “You can talk to me about anything. I’m kind of impatient in life and a little bossy, but I’m a good listener.”

“A little?” She laughs against my chest, making me laugh.

“Fine. A lot bossy.” I open the door and step aside to let her by. “Now tell me what’s on your mind.”

Once we’re inside, she pulls the sunglasses off and drops them in her purse that’s dumped on the coffee table. She sits down and finally looks up at me. Her eyes are red and a little puffy from crying. “My cousin died, and I haven’t had the time to even mourn.”

Kneeling before her, I rest my hands on her knees. “Is that what you’ve been doing?”

“She was cremated.”

I wasn’t expecting to hear about Cassie, but looking at the pain on Hannah’s face, the gray in her eyes, I realize I should have asked. I’m still not sure what I can and can’t ask, but I should have taken the risk. I still don’t know if I have the right to ask about her at all. “I don’t need you to fix anything, Jet. I just needed to cry.”

Getting up, I sit on the couch next to her. “And you did?”

“I did. It makes no sense, but I was driving by the park we used to take Alfie to. I drive by that park every time I go to his school, which is almost every day, sometimes twice, but today . . .” She rubs her eyes and huffs, annoyed with her tears.

“But today what? What happened?”

“I’ve not been happy in a long time.” I pull her onto my lap and keep my arms wrapped around her when she’s settled. “How can I be happy when she’s no longer alive? How cruel am I?” She drops her head into her hands as her body gently shakes with little sobs.

“You’re not to blame for her death, and you’re allowed to be happy. That’s what living is about—finding what makes you happy.”

Leaning her head on my shoulder, she says, “She’s not been gone that long.”

“Everyone mourns in their own time and in their own way.”

“Alfie won’t talk about it.”

“He will when he’s ready.”

Looking back at me, she asks, “Do you ever think about her?”

“All the time, but being honest with you, I’m not sure what to think. She obviously didn’t think very highly of me, and I’ve spent years thinking the best of her.”

“Why did you break up?”

I knew this would come up, but I had foolishly convinced myself we’d have more time together before dredging up the past. I can’t control what happened, but I can control the outcome. “Hannah, are you sure you want to discuss this?”

“I think I need to.”

Seeing her reaction and the questions in her eyes, I need to give her anything that will give her peace. “I have a million excuses, but the bottom line is, I screwed up. I thought we were casual. She thought we were more serious.”

“You cheated on her?”

I knew she’d jump to conclusions. The muscles in her back stiffen, causing me to hold her a little tighter. “I wasn’t fucking anyone else.”

She tries to get up. “What were you doing then?”

“I’m not letting you walk across this room in anger over something you’re imagining in your head.”

“How do you know what I’m imagining?”

“Because of the bullshit you were fed about me.”

“Are you sure it’s bullshit?”

“Yes, it’s all bullshit. You can ask me anything, and I’ll tell you the truth. Not me pleading my side, but the truth.”

The tension in her body eases, and she looks me in the eyes again. “Then tell me the truth, and I’ll listen.”

I love the way her hands lock together behind my neck, and when I lean in to kiss her, she lets me, and she kisses me back. I just got her. I’m not ready to lose her. “She broke up with me, accusing me of a bunch shit I didn’t do. Came at me saying she didn’t want to waste her time with someone she didn’t trust, someone she didn’t love. It was heavy, considering how new we were as a couple.”

“How long were you together?”

“A month, a month and a half at best. I liked her. We had fun. She was wild, which worked for me at that time in my life.”

I see the question on her face, the worry to give it a voice, to release it between us. Once she asks me about love, I’ll have to answer. I cared a lot about Cassie, but I’m not so sure, thinking back, that it was love. How will Hannah react to that? I hope I can keep that locked away just a little bit longer for both of our sakes.

She kisses my forehead and cradles my head to her before slipping off my lap. “You don’t owe me the details. I just wanted to understand the relationship a little more.” She walks to the kitchen and stands on the other side of the bar. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Letting me talk about whatever I need.”

I walk to the opposite side of the bar, resting my hands on it. I can see the fog of burden lifting in her eyes, and a smile appears. “I’m sorry about your cousin. I’m sorry about Cassie passing for Alfie. I’m sorry I hurt her. I never intended to.”

“I don’t want to keep talking about you and Cassie. When I’m with you, I’m betraying her. I’m betraying my aunt and my family. I just needed a few minutes to mourn her passing.” She sniffles, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “But I’m here. I’m here because I’ve come to know a different man than how you were described. You’ve been nothing but good to me, Jet. That’s why I struggle. That’s why I’m conflicted inside.”

“I—”

“You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I see who you are. I see who you are with Alfie when you think no one is watching. I know you’re a good man. Just some days are going to be tougher, days I’m fighting with my aunt over . . . everything. So it’s nothing you can fix. I may have been mourning Cassie’s death, but I’m also mourning the loss of trust from my family while trying to figure out what is the right thing to do for Alfie. Now I’ve gone and gotten myself involved with you and . . .” She smiles and comes around. With her hands on my middle, she lifts on her toes and kisses me. “If you didn’t realize already, I have feelings for you.”

“So no regrets about last night?”

“Regrets?” She laughs. “God, no. I can’t wait to do it again.”

Bending over, I scoop her into my arms and head for the bedroom. “We have a few hours to kill. Want to burn some daylight?”

“I was thinking some moonlight too.”

“Have I told you how amazing I think you are?”

“No, tell me.”

Tossing her on the bed, I pull my shirt off and drop my jeans, kicking them off. When I climb on the bed and hover over her, her legs open for me without even asking. Fucking hell, she’s a sex goddess. “Exquisite.”