By morning Bear had changed his mind. Kayla was very independent, and somehow, he’d hit a nerve. She’d be at work. He’d call her about seeing each other this evening. She picked up the call on the first ring.
“Hello, this is Kayla Townsend, how may I help you?”
“How about going out to dinner with me, then we can have our talk back at my house with an after-dinner drink.”
For a second, she didn’t speak. “How did you get my work number?”
“It was easy. I call Mrs. Terrell frequently when in town, but this time I asked for you. I’d like to see you tonight.”
“I acted stupid on our date the other night. Why would you ever want to see me again?”
“We’re all a bit crazy at times, including me.”
Kayla chuckled. “I have a lot of hang-ups. I think tonight might be a good time to tell you about the main ones before I start liking you too much.”
“I’ll pick you up at six. We’ll eat out and then go to my house. Is that good for you?”
“See you at six. I have to get to work.”
“At six. Good-bye.” Bear hung up and dialed the number to his favorite Italian restaurant to make reservations.
****
Kayla didn’t mention her date to anyone, although Mrs. Terrell had walked up right as she hung up the phone. She had a work question and not a personal one, thank goodness. She managed to leave work on time and showered before trying to decide what to wear for tonight. Jackson didn’t say whether it was a fancy restaurant or casual.
She looked through her closet. Her little black dress might do well at either. The silk dress slid over her hips and stopped at her knees. It had small cap sleeves and a low neckline. Her mother gave her a pretty filigree gold necklace when Kayla finished college. It’d look nice with her plain gold earrings and not too extravagant. She slipped on her black sandal heels and spritzed some perfume on her neck and shoulders.
Kayla decided to pull her shoulder-length auburn hair into a twist. Exposing her shoulders was a bit sexy. She hoped Bear thought the same.
Still, when I tell him why I’m wary around any SEAL, he may not care to date me anymore. After all, one of them threw me aside, but it didn’t hurt near as much as it would to lose Jackson. I’m already half-way in love with him. I’d better hide it, or he’ll run away, too.
She was ready when the doorbell rang. When she greeted Jackson, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight.
“I missed you.”
“I doubt it. You were mad at me, and I don’t blame you. But, I felt the same toward you. Come on in, while I get my jacket. It feels a bit cool out.”
“Go ahead, but I can always keep you warm.” His mischievous eyes sparkled at her.
“I’ll take it anyway. Restaurants are always cold to me, and the other customers might consider it strange if you kept me wrapped in your arms throughout the meal.”
Bear laughed and waited as she got her jacket and locked the door. He helped her into his truck, and they were soon heading down the street toward town.
“Can I ask where we’re going?”
“It’s a small Italian restaurant by the downtown waterfront. I love their food, and I hope the crowds haven’t discovered it yet. They opened this second restaurant last year, the inside is cozy and quiet. Their other one is in Coronado.”
“The place sounds great.”
He pushed a button, and soft classical music filled the air. She smiled at him. “You don’t have to play it for me. I like the other types of music you mentioned.”
“Why not do it for you. You’re my lady. I want to please you.”
“You pleased me when you arrived at the door looking like the most handsome, sexy man I’ve ever had arrive to get me, and that was before you hugged me.”
Bear chuckled but didn’t comment. He stopped at a stop sign, turned right and then left. One street down he parked across from the Wisteria Italian Restaurant.
“I see where they got the name from with the small Wisteria tree in the front and vines all around the gate. I like it already.”
At the door, they were greeted by a middle-aged man. “Kayla, this is Mr. Calabria, better known to his customers as Arnaldo. Arnaldo, my lady friend, is Kayla Townsend. I’ve told her your restaurant is the best Italian food in the city.”
“A bit of an extravagant compliment, but we will certainly try to please your palate.”
“Thank you, Arnaldo.”
“Ah, such a lovely lady. You are a lucky man, Jackson. I will show you to a nice, private table.”
When Kayla blushed, both men laughed. They followed him into the second room which was not as crowded. Arnaldo sat them at a corner table, in the back of the small room.
“It is good that you made reservations, my friend. We are unusually busy for a Monday night. May I get you a drink and perhaps crackers with a new cheese I’ve recently bought?”
“Sounds wonderful, Kayla likes white wine. You know my preference.”
“A sweet white?” Arnaldo asked.
“Do you have Zinfandel or Riesling?”
“Ah yes, very good taste. I’ll return shortly.”
“What do you think so far?” Bear asked.
“This is perfect. It’s quiet, and the smells from the kitchen would make me hungry if I wasn’t already. How did you find it?”
“I often went to the one near the base, but this one is nicer and quieter.”
Soft music played in the background. To the left of where the waiter had seated them was a small dance floor. “May I have this dance?”
“No one else is dancing.”
“So? There are only four other couples. Surely, you won’t turn me down again.”
“When you put it that way, I don’t dare.”
He held out his hand, and they walked onto the dance floor. Jackson pulled Kayla close. For such a large man, he was a very good dancer. They moved slowly around the dance floor, and Kayla put her head on his shoulder. Without her heels, she’d be looking at his chest.
“People are looking at us,” she whispered.
“They’re envious and trying to get up the courage to join us. But the ladies probably said no.” He glanced down at her, and she giggled.
“Not that I have anyone particular in mind,” he added.
When the music stopped, and they were seated, Arnaldo returned with the wine, cheese, and bread. “Do you know what you’d like to order?”
Kayla nodded at Jackson. “Let him choose for us.”
“Their veal parmigiana is excellent. We’ll have that for our main course and of course your Italian salad.”
“You will like it,” Arnaldo said, and hurried off to the kitchen or maybe the front door.
“He is busy but so nice. He appears to take time for all his customers. I saw him bring in the last couple, and he treated them the same as us.”
“Are you relaxed?” Bear asked.
“Totally.”
****
“You did like the meal, didn’t you?” Bear asked.
“You must have seen I ate every bite and if I’d been at home, I would have cleaned my plate with the last piece of bread.”
“I’ll have to order it for us one night at home, just to see you do that.”
“Please, I’m embarrassed enough even admitting I had the thought.”
Bear parked his truck in the garage, and they walked in through the kitchen and family room. He flipped on the low lights and turned on the music. “I’ll get us an after-dinner drink. We’ll have our talk while we’re both in a mellow mood.”
When he came back, he started the fire and sat in a chair across from where she’d settled on the sofa. “I think we need to face each other,” he said as he handed her the goblet glass. “It’s a very good brandy.” Bear took a sip and leaned back in his chair. “I’m going to start and hope it will make it easier for you to talk to me.”
Bear watched as she slid off her shoes and put her feet up on the couch. She’d cuddled against the side pillow, whether to relax or be in a more protective position he wasn’t sure.
“When we finish our training, most of us either already are or become more used to being in command. Some of it spills over into our personal lives. We like to be in control, we have to be when doing our job. We make quick decisions based on our skills of sizing up a situation. Many women don’t like that part of our persona.”
Kayla started to speak, but he shook his head. “Wait, you will have your turn.”
She nodded, and he continued. “You have a responsible job, do it well, and have the need to be in charge of your life, not just the job. Many business women have had to be more independent and determined than usual because in business they have to show they can do the work as well as a man. It’s really a shame. Both women and men ought to be judged by their abilities and not gender. But I sense there is another reason for your cautiousness with men and your determination to stand up to them.” He stopped and took a drink of his brandy.
“Can I speak now?”
“Yes, but let me join you on the couch and hold you close. Because I sense whatever it is will be difficult for you to say, and I want you to feel my warmth and that I’m here for you.”
She grinned slightly, and said, “Put that way, how can I refuse you?” She sat up and moved around till she lay against his hard body. His hands unfastened her hair, and he ran his fingers through the strands.
****
“Where shall I start?”
“At the beginning.”
“Dad and Mom divorced when I was around fifteen. He’s a senator in Washington, D. C. He fell in love with a lady senator. They were married a few months after the divorce and he mostly disappeared from my life. Mom has never gotten over his leaving her, even though he is getting ready to marry his third wife.”
She stopped and drank a large swallow of brandy. Bear leaned down and kissed her.
“Do you have siblings?”
“Yes, one sister. She’s four years older. She married a lawyer, lives in a large home, has one daughter, and sees Mom as little as possible. My only brother, the oldest in the family, has followed my Dad into politics. He’s a lawyer and a representative from Virginia. Dan is very nice, has a lovely wife, two boys, and he’s the oldest at thirty-four. Since he lives in Virginia, he doesn’t see Mom much either. I moved far away to get out of the reach of Washington and a mother I couldn’t help.” Her throat tightened when she said those words. She took a quick swallow of her drink.
“I tried so hard at first, and then she wore me down. I hated seeing Dad coming by for a meal and getting Mom’s hopes up. Apparently, he’s still doing it. My sister and brother were away from home, and I’ve resented that they left it all on me.”
Tears came into her eyes. “Mom wants to come for a visit, but I don’t want the drama and the never-ending discussions about my father. Does that make me a bad person?”
Bear leaned down and kissed her. Then he ran his fingers through her hair. “No, it definitely doesn’t. You sound like someone who needs to protect herself. That’s enough for tonight. Let me make love to you. Tomorrow, we can have breakfast and talk more.”
“But I have work.”
“I’d bet Mrs. Terrell will let you have a day off. How much vacation do you have saved?”
“I get two weeks a year, and I have six weeks saved.”
“As I thought. Call Mrs. Terrell in the morning and ask her for this week off.”
“I’m going to tell her it was your idea.”
“She’ll love that.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t. Mrs. Terrell will think we’re going to get married.”
“She knows it doesn’t work that fast for me, nothing does.” He got out from under her and swooped her into his arms. He put her down in his bedroom. “Do what you need while I turn off the music and put out the fire.”
Kayla had nothing to wear to bed. After finding the toothbrush she’d used the other night, she brushed her teeth and then hair. Then in the bedroom, she searched his drawers for something to sleep in. She found one of his t-shirts. It fell almost to her knees.
When she looked up, Jackson leaned against the door frame with a grin on his face. “That shirt never looked as good on me as it does on you.” He pulled the covers back and lifted her onto the bed. Quickly, he undressed and placed a condom on the nightstand. When he climbed into bed, he pulled her close.
His warmth soaked into her cold body. He wrapped his legs around hers and reaching behind rubbed her shoulders. “Relax, sweetheart, the worst is over.”
No, it’s not. I have to tell you about my affair with another SEAL.
“What’s wrong,” he asked, seeing her frown.
“Nothing, except you are taking too long to make love to me.”
“This is part of lovemaking, but I can move faster.”
They didn’t go fast. Jackson’s loving her was slow, full of caresses, kisses, and magical hands that had Kayla’s blood racing through her veins. Her heart pounded. At least, twice during the night, he woke her, and they made love again. His loving attention soothed her inside and out, and each time they seemed to reach a higher pinnacle.
****
Kayla woke to bacon frying and the sun shining through the curtains. She hopped out of bed and grabbed her watch. “It’s nine o’clock,” she said as she ran into the kitchen.
“I know. You needed the sleep. I didn’t give you much of a chance to rest last night,” he said and flipped a pancake. “My hunger for you drove me on. Go rinse your face and come eat. It’s almost ready.”
“But I haven’t called work.”
“I did. Mrs. Terrell said it was about time you took some time off, and to have a good rest. I assured her, I’d see you did.”
Kayla put her hands on her hot face. “I can never look her in the eye again. I’m so embarrassed.”
Bear pulled her hands down and held them. “You embarrass too easy. I’m sure Mrs. Terrell remembers how it was to be young. In fact, she and her husband kiss and hug in front of me often.”
“But she’s my boss.”
“And she loves you like the daughter she never had. I’d heard her mention your name before we met. Until I saw you two together, I didn’t realize you were the Kayla she often said I ought to meet. Now go rinse your face, wash your hands, and join me.”
“You’re a good cook. I’ll get fatter eating your food.”
“Fatter?” You are not fat, anywhere. Don’t change a thing about the beautiful body I made love to last night, and hope to repeat the same every night until you have to go to work.”
“How about your work?”
“I’d already asked for the week off. Since we were not doing well, I’d thought to drive up to my place in the mountains. Then I changed my mind.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s quite a drive from here, and I knew I’d miss you. I’m glad I did. I didn’t want to leave things as they were between us, for too long. Let’s eat, and then sit in the sun. If you feel ready, you can tell me what else bothered you last night.”
****
Sunlight and shade mixed made for a comfortable day to sit outside. The slight breeze ruffled the pool’s water. Jackson sat back in a large two-person lounge chair. He reached out his hand for her and pulled Kayla down beside him.
“Relax. Whatever you say will clear the air, and then we’ll enjoy the rest of the day.”
“It isn’t that important, but you ought to know I did date another SEAL before you. He must be on another team because I never saw you and him at Aces on the same evenings.” Kayla shifted in the chair further away from Jackson.
“No, you don’t,” he pulled her back into his arms. “Go on and tell me the rest.”
“It started out all right. He seemed nice, and we went to the movies, walked on the beach, and did all sorts of activities. But, I never met any of his guy friends. He explained it by saying he was a loner and preferred to enjoy me without others around.”
“Sounds strange. I’m a loner to a certain extent, but I always want to socialize with my buddies, maybe not as much as they like getting together, but we’re all close. You saw how we enjoyed ourselves at Wolf and Caroline’s party.”
“I’m always hoping that the guy I’m dating won’t disappoint me. They all seem to in the end. Perhaps it comes from my parents divorcing and not wanting to be betrayed by a husband as my father hurt Mom. He’s still doing it by not getting out of her life.”
“Who broke it off?”
“You mean with the SEAL?” Kayla glanced up at him.
“Yes.”
“I did. He said he had been going to end it. Apparently, I was too fat and uninteresting to him.” Kayla’s throat tightened as she repeated what he had said. She remembered how hearing him say the words, she’d always felt about herself, hurt.
“He’s a fool.” Jackson ran his hand over the side of her body. “You’ve got curves in all the right places. What’s his name?”
Kayla shook her head. “I won’t tell you. No need to cause trouble for him. He’s out of my life now.”
“Is that why Mrs. Terrell has had to worry about you eating?”
“I don’t have much of an appetite and have lost some weight. Really, my old relationship had nothing to do with me not eating. It was a combination of occurrences that saddened me.”
“But I’m sure he was one of those.” Jackson bent his head and took a deep breath. “I love your scent.” He kissed the spot where her heart had started to race. “Have you ever made love in the sunshine?”
“No, and I don’t intend to either.”
“The walls of my garden are high. I didn’t want people jumping over or looking inside. And with all the tall shrubbery and trees, no one could possibly see us.”
Jackson stood and pulled her to her feet. “I’m going in to get a large beach towel. Pick out a spot where you want to experience making love outside for the first time.”
He strode off before she could protest further. Do I have the nerve to undress and let Jackson make out with me in the sunshine? Just the thought makes me shiver, and yet part of me wants very much to have the experience. Evidently, my having dated another SEAL doesn’t seem to have bothered him. I’m not sure why I thought it might. Still, I didn’t share his name. He might be someone Jackson really dislikes, and that might have made a difference.
“Have you chosen a spot?” Jackson came through the door holding a large beach towel. He left the door open and soft music drifted into the yard.
Kayla glanced all around and chose a corner, under a large tree that shaded the area. Jackson spread the towel on the ground.
“This isn’t as soft as the grass would be. Grass doesn’t grow very well in shade.”
She glanced around again and chose a grassy spot partially hidden by his large bougainvillea plant full of red blossoms. Jackson chuckled at her choice, but followed her and laid the towel on the ground.
“It’s a beautiful spot.”
“Yes, and up against the wall where you feel more protected.” Jackson grinned and pulled her tight against him. He’d taken off his shirt and only had on shorts. “I predict you’ll like this so much that next time you won’t care which spot we use.”
“Hah, we’ll see.” She stepped forward and put her arms around his chest. “Convince me, my warrior lover.”
“Ah, I like the title.” He lifted her up and sat her gently on the beach towel. “Now, the first thing is to get you out of all these clothes.”
As he uncovered each spot, he kissed her. In the background, the music seeped into her soul. His lovemaking moved slowly to the beat of the music, sliding along her arms, kissing her shoulders, smoothing his hands across her chest. Jackson tenderly cupped her breasts in his strong hands.
His eyes met hers as his fingers slid across the tips of her breast. “You are beautiful.” He slid further down and kissed her belly, while the tips of his fingers caressed her nipples.
Kayla’s body filled with warmth and desire like she’d never known before. Each caress and kiss seemed to soothe away previous hurts and rejections.
He’d dropped his shorts nearby. Then he reached the short distance for a condom and quickly covered himself. Bear pulled Kayla’s legs apart and stared into her eyes, as he slid inside sending currents of excitement and heat flowing throughout her body. Once inside, he cupped her face. “Forget all the stupid men you’ve known and always remember, whatever happens, you are beautiful and lovable.
When he quickened his pace, her body arched with ecstasy. She threw her head back as she flew up and into the sky.
Kayla never knew how long it was before her heart slowed and the beautiful moment of connecting closer than ever with someone else began to fade. She opened her eyes to Jackson leaning over her. His smile made her lean up and kiss his mouth.
“How was that?”
“Wow. There is no other word,” Kayla said. “But what about you?”
“Oh darling, it was beautiful.” He turned and spread his arm out to indicate where they were. “What do you think of loving outdoors?”
She rubbed her hand across his chest. “Can we do it again, soon?”
Jackson nibbled on her earlobe. “Better now, then later.”
That evening they cuddled on the couch and listened to music. Jackson brushed her hair off her forehead. “What do you want to do tomorrow?”
“I need to go home and get more clothes. You can take me home and go do whatever while I check in with Cheryl and my mother.”
“All right, just don’t take too long. We only have this week.”
****
Afterward, those words went round and round in her head. On Monday, for the first time, Kayla hated having to go to work. Their week together had been the best she’d ever experienced. But he hadn’t said he loved her, and neither had she. Perhaps like her, he thought it was too soon.
Only after a week went by with no contact did she have to admit it was over. She’d gotten the nerve to ring Jackson’s phone, but it only rang and rang. This time the hurt went much deeper. Kayla worked late many nights until Mrs. Terrell told her to stop.
“I’m certain he had to go on a mission. They can’t notify people that they’re leaving unless it’s been officially taken care of first.”
“You’re probably right. I’m moping. I need to stop, especially at work. Whatever happens, I had a wonderful time with Jackson. A special time.”
“Good girl, he’ll be back.”
Kayla called her Mom that night. She was very happy to visit Kayla. The week went fast. Kayla took vacation during the time her Mom visited. They went on trips up in the mountains, which made her wonder where Jackson’s cabin was located. Back in San Diego, they went to the zoo and to see the old lighthouse in Point Loma. At the airport, her mother said they’d stayed so busy they had no time to talk, but it was a great vacation.
When Kayla returned to work, she realized she wasn’t exhausted emotionally as she had been on her mother’s other visits. Maybe her mom was finally getting over her father.
But several mornings later, Kayla woke sick at her stomach. She stayed home from work because of it and her nausea lasted all day and the next. Finally, on Friday afternoon she saw her doctor.
“I’ve tried to think of what I could have eaten or drank to make me so sick. Of course, the flu is going around but I had my shot months ago.”
“Well, let’s check you over,” Dr. Simmons said.
He’d been her doctor since she’d been in San Diego, and she fully trusted him. Anne, his nurse, had her get a urine specimen and then took her to an exam room.
“The doctor and I will be right back. Get undressed and put on the gown. She motioned to one on the back of a chair.
The exam didn’t take long. Anne told her to dress and then Dr. Simmons would be back to talk with her. The minutes seemed longer than usual. Kayla fidgeted in her chair. Then a knock on the door. “Come in.”
Dr. Simmons pulled a chair over in front of her. “First, there is nothing seriously wrong with you. Actually, I hope it will be good news. “You’re pregnant.”
Kayla thought she’d heard him wrong. She leaned back in her chair. “I’m pregnant? How? We used protection every time, and my gynecologist told me, long ago, that I couldn’t bear a child.”
“Sometimes doctors look at reports and say something will never happen when they ought to say it would be difficult. What type of protection did you use?”
“Condoms.”
“Ah yes, they are fairly good, but not perfect protection. Will the father be excited?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“How do you feel about having a baby?”
“It’s a shock, but what an exciting miracle. I always wanted children. This child will be loved and wanted by me, Dr. Simmons. You don’t have to worry.”
“Good. Anne has some vitamins, instructions you must read, and medicine for nausea. I’ll see you again in a few weeks to make certain you’re doing all right. Since you didn’t expect this surprise, I want to answer any questions and concerns that might have come up.”
Kayla drove home carefully. She still had trouble believing what had happened, but regardless of what Jackson thought, she intended to love and enjoy their child. On Monday, she’d have to get Mrs. Terrell to swear she wouldn’t tell anyone including her husband.
I need to be the one to tell Jackson. Hopefully, he’ll be home soon, if he is on a mission. And when I get home, I must call Cheryl. I’ll call Mom later. She just visited so I can put off telling her for now.
She drove home carefully as she still had a feeling of shock and unreality. Once inside, she punched in her friend’s number.
Cheryl answered on the first ring. “I’d put my hand on the receiver to call you. That’s eerie. How are you feeling? Did you see your doctor?”
“I did, but I won’t feel totally better for about six and a half or seven months.”
“What? I don’t understand?”
“How long does it take to have a baby, Cheryl?”
“How long…oh,” she screamed. “Are you pregnant?”
“I am.”
“How?”
“The way most people get pregnant.”
“But the doctor said you can’t have children.”
“He was wrong. I plan to send him a birth announcement and a picture.”
“Oh my gosh. I’d love to see that doctor’s face when he receives the baby picture. What about Jackson?”
“I don’t know. I’m having this baby with or without him. You know how much this means to me. I was heartbroken at the other doctor’s diagnosis.”
“They’re sure. This isn’t another missed diagnosis, is it?”
“I saw the results of the test. I’ve had morning sickness. This is the real thing.”
“I can always sue the other doctor for you.”
“Stop being the lawyer. I’m not suing anyone.”
“I know, but I love to tease you. Listen, I’m here for you. Whatever you need I’ll help you get it.”
“I know. I’m lucky to have had you as my best friend for all these years. Now, go put the bad guys in jail.”
Laughing, Cheryl hung up.
****
Kayla stood in front of her mirror. Gradually over the last few months, her morning sickness had gone away. Thankfully, most of my sickness occurred at night or very early in the morning, so I’ve been able to hide my pregnancy. I’ve even put of telling Mrs. Terrell. But, it won’t be long though before I have to buy maternity clothes, and then everyone will know. I had hoped Jackson would return before I showed too much.
When her phone rang, she jumped. It was a strange number, and she started to reject it, but changed her mind. “Hello.”
“Kayla is that you?”
“Yes, is this Jackson?”
“Right. I only have a few minutes, but I wanted you to know I hope to be back in a few weeks. I had a slight injury…”
“What?”
“I’m going to be fine, but I’m staying with a team member who can’t leave yet. We’re at the hospital in Germany. I’ll let Wolf know my arrival date, and he or Caroline will contact you. I’ve missed you. Got to go.”
The buzz in the receiver made her realize he’d hung up. Just as well. I wouldn’t tell him I’m pregnant on the phone. Two more weeks, before I have to face him with my big surprise. Her hand touched her stomach. Don’t worry little one. Whatever happens you’ll have me.