I woke up with a sense of dread in my whole body.

Somehow I knew, even before waking, that today was a bad day—I still felt it in my bones from the night before: the knowledge that this morning, Taran was leaving.

But as I sat up with a start in his bed that morning, the sense of unease only grew more intense. Because the bed was empty, just like it had been last time I’d woken up here. The room felt like it was covered in a solemn blanket of sadness, and there was no escaping it. No amount of fantasy and magic that had been there the night before.

I knew the feeling all too well. I knew that this was the end, that this was the last time I’d see the inside of these four walls.

But I also knew that Taran must have changed his mind. Last night, he was in the heat of the moment and must have been telling me things I wanted to hear. Hell, maybe he even wanted to hear them, last night—maybe he wanted to live in the fantasy of what life would be like if he wasn’t leaving town. Or if he wasn’t allergic to commitment.

Because he was no longer next to me. And I knew all too well what that meant.

I pulled on all my clothes before making my way to the living room. I’d made the mistake last time of going out there in only my underwear, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to go out there naked now.

As I walked down the hallway, I felt like I was bolstering myself up with armor. I had to go out there prepared—prepared for Taran’s rejection, for disappointment, for reality. I did my best to put on a poker face, to get myself ready for what I was about to experience.

And then when I walked out there, I saw it definitively. Taran was where he’d been last time, in his position by the window, only this time there was no chair for him to rest on. He was standing, gazing out at the town below, coffee cup in his hands.

He didn’t even turn toward me when I went out.

There it was: the cold, bitter truth.

“Morning,” I said to him, keeping my voice neutral.

“Oh,” Taran said, glancing over toward me, his face looking confused. “You’re up,” he said.

I gave him a curt nod. “Yep.”

“Sorry, I didn’t even hear you stepping out here,” he said. He definitely seemed dazed and out of it, but it didn’t stop me from becoming angrier and angrier by the minute.

Because even if he’d meant it all last night, it still felt like I’d been lied to. It felt like he’d duped me into thinking he cared about me when really he couldn’t have cared less.

“I’m getting out of here,” I said, my voice coming out sterner than I’d meant it to. But what did it matter at this point? I was sure I’d never see him again.

“What?” Taran asked, turning quickly toward me. He took a few steps toward me, concern on his face.

I shook my head. “You don’t have to do this,” I said. “The whole song and dance, the pretending to let me off easy, blah blah blah. Just stop. I can take a hint, Taran. You just want me gone, and you’re doing a pretty shit job of hiding it.”

I turned quickly and headed for the door, slipping on my shoes.

“Patrick, wait. No—”

“Last night was one of the best nights I’ve had with anyone. It actually meant something to me. More than you could possibly dream of—more than you’re maybe capable of feeling,” I said. The words were pouring out of me now, and I had no way to stop them, even though I knew this was a terrible idea.

Taran’s face looked pained as he watched me speak.

“I just want you to know that I would have… I would have fought for you, Taran,” I said. “Distance, time, business rivalry—I would have looked past any of it to have a shot with you. But I guess that isn’t something you value. You don’t want a partner, but I do. And I’m sick of trying to hide that.”

“Patrick, listen to me,” Taran said, setting his coffee mug down on the kitchen counter and coming to my side. He gripped my arm, turning me back from the front door. “You’re wrong.”

“What am I wrong about?”

He shook his head. “I wasn’t… over by the window because I was trying to get rid of you.”

“Then why?”

“It’s because I was terrified. For a very different reason than last time.”

I rolled my eyes. “I get it. You’re terrified of relationships. But I would have been willing to work through that with you, Taran.”

He buried his face in his hands. “No, Patrick,” he said. “It’s because I think I may have made a huge mistake.”

I blinked my eyes at him, not believing what I was hearing. “So you’re telling me you think last night was all a mistake?”

He shook his head, meeting my eyes. I could see a slight redness in his eyes. “No. Today is a mistake.”

I was silent, momentarily confused.

“I can’t do this. I… can’t leave Rose Falls,” he said, his voice rising slightly, like he was admitting to something huge. “I… I don’t think I can do it, Patrick. And it’s terrifying. It’s so sudden, and it doesn’t make any sense. But the reason I left the bed this morning was because looking at you sleeping next to me practically made me want to cry.”

I was stunned. All I could do was watch as Taran explained himself.

“I can’t leave. And I’m all set to go—movers coming, plane ticket purchased, my bars waiting for my return to D.C. But it just feels wrong. I feel like—like I’ve only just begun something here in Rose Falls, and that I couldn’t possibly have it ripped away from me.”

“Taran, this…”

He took a step toward me, his eyes alight.

“…This isn’t some sort of sick prank, is it? Is this for real?”

He nodded slowly. “I think this might be the most real thing I’ve felt in years,” he said.

“But… how?” I asked. It was all I could say. I felt like I was standing on the edge of an airplane, ready to skydive, just waiting for the go-ahead. Waiting to be told that it was safe.

Could it be true?

Taran shrugged, big and animated. “I don’t know,” he said simply. “It just happened. Slowly and surely, as I spent time here. And I was trying to pretend, all this week, that I was going to get over it—get over Rose Falls, get over you.”

I swallowed hard as he closed the distance between us, taking my hand in his. I could feel that he was shaking slightly.

“But it never happened, Patrick. I never got over any of it. And here I am, the day I’m set to leave, and it feels like the silliest mistake I could possibly make.”

“So you…” I said, clearing my throat. My heart was pounding like a jackhammer in my chest. “So you don’t want to leave?”

He shook his head slowly, a small smile coming over his face. “I don’t want to leave,” he whispered.

“This is… enough for you?”

He drew in a long breath. “Something happened to me. I realized that I was falling in love with this place. And… for God’s sake, falling in love with you, Patrick.” A tear fell down his cheek, but he held my gaze, strong and sure.

He was telling the truth.

“And I can’t keep running away from it,” Taran said. “My life is completely upside down, and nothing makes sense to me right now, but there is one thing I know without a doubt: that you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in years. Maybe you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

I had been holding strong this whole time, trying to remain steely faced, to keep up a calm demeanor. But hearing Taran say these things—these wild things, things I never thought I could dream of hearing from him—cracked me in two. I felt the tears starting to roll down my cheeks.

Taran laughed softly, bringing a thumb up to brush my tears away. “Look at us,” he said, shaking his head a little. “God, look at us.”

He moved in close, and soon he was pressing kisses to my face where my tears fell. He swept them away with his thumb and kissed the skin afterward, all the while tears still falling on his own cheeks.

“Oh my God,” I said, slowly wrapping my arms around him. “You have to know, Taran—you have to know I was falling for you, too.”

He drew in a shuddering breath as he held me close. “I wanted it to be true, Patrick,” he said. “I just didn’t know if I deserved it.”

“You do,” I said. “You deserve all of me. Anything you want.”

He leaned back slightly, holding my face in his hands, giving me a very serious look.

“I want you to know that if… if I do this, if I stay—”

I let out a long exhale, nodding rapidly. I couldn’t believe this was real.

“If I stay,” he continued, “I don’t want you to feel any… obligation to me. I know I’m a fucking piece of work, and there’s no way I could be a… a perfect boyfriend to you. I’m more than a little out of practice. But Patrick, if you’d have me, nothing would make me happier.”

“Of course I’ll have you,” I whispered. “There’s nothing I could want more.”

As Taran gripped me even tighter and showered me with kisses, I felt like I had left my body. I felt like I was floating on air, not myself, but some better version of me.

I knew he was right. I knew things wouldn’t be perfect, and knew that I would have to be there for Taran along his journey toward accepting his past.

But he wanted to try. He had chosen me, out of anyone, and he was willing to upend his whole life to try with me.

I’d never been given a better gift. And I’d never been more ready to love someone.