Jenny

Seven weeks, three days, fourteen hours, a handful of minutes.

That’s how long it’s been since I looked in his blue eyes, spoke his name or felt his arms around me. He made good on his plans to go back to Las Vegas. There was a small part of me that held out hope that he’d come running back to my arms. Or at the very least call and say he couldn’t live without me. Fantasy. Girlish fantasy. Face it, Jenny. He’s just not that into you.

Today’s appointment with Valentino is our last, as September gets ready to turn to October. As I walk to the Santini front door my mind is filled with questions. Soon I’ll be back to my own life. But it’s a redesigned world. It feels nothing like the one I knew before. For one thing, Peter’s now in the ex-boyfriend category. He finally believed it was over between us when I said there was someone else. There’s always the chance we could remain good friends. But I’m not sure he could do that. I get it. I wouldn’t want to be Nikos’s friend. It’s all or nothing sometimes.

Peter’s absence changes my social life. But life’s biggest difference is something I can’t name or categorize. Once you’ve loved, your definition of contentment, and normal, and happy changes. I love him. I do. It’s crazy to admit that even to myself, because we hardly had any time together. Yet I’d argue with anyone who’d say this can’t be love.

Can I ever really be happy again knowing what it actually feels like? I felt him call me the minute I laid eyes on him. I should have never let him go.

I ring the doorbell and wait. I hear someone approaching.

“Good morning, Jenny,” Valentino says opening the door.

He’s crutch free and looking happy about the fact.

“Morning, Valentino.”

“Come in.”

I give him a kiss on the cheek, because I feel like he’s become a friend. Although, most likely I’ll never see any of them after today. Last time I was here Sophia said she’d call me for lunch sometime. Will she ever do it? I’d love it if she did.

“Looks like you’ve made the recovery you were hoping for. You’re walking good.”

He motions for me to follow him into the kitchen. There on the buffet is a small feast of breakfast specialties laid out on lovely Italian ware. The small table is set with two place settings. One yellow rose in a bud vase is the centerpiece.

“Come on, sit. You and I are going to share a last meal,” he says. “Allow me to make you a plate.”

The kindness overwhelms me and I start crying, which throws Valentino. He puts down the plate and comes to my side. Leaning my head against his shoulder, he pats my arm.

“What’s this, Bella? Are you sad to be leaving us?”

I can barely speak, but manage to squeak out a, “Yes.”

“Oh, that’s so lovely. Sophia and I are sad too.”

I wave away my ridiculous and embarrassing behavior and take a seat. Wiping my tears away, I take a big breath.

“Please excuse me, Valentino.”

He sits opposite me and just looks into my eyes. It takes a few beats before a smile appears on his face. “What are you really crying about?”

Pausing to consider what I’m about to confess gives me the right amount of time to gather courage. “Nikos.”

His smile doesn’t fade. “You miss our boy?”

“I do.”

“What about the other guy?”

My tears stop instantly. “What other guy? There’s no other guy.”

Valentino takes my hand across the table. “Nikos thinks there is. He finally told me why he was so sad when he got tired of me badgering him.”

“What did he say?”

“He said he went to your house the morning he was leaving and he watched another man bringing you flowers, getting a kiss on the cheek.”

Oh no! “That was an ex. If you can call him that. It was an unusual relationship. That day I told him I didn’t want any of his overtures toward me again.”

“We thought Nikos was probably misinterpreting. But he’s impulsive. Makes up his mind quickly. Usually he’s right.”

I don’t know what to say or do. I’m stuck to this chair.

“Maybe you should tell him,” Valentino says.

I try to process the events and what their impact was on his choices. “But he was going back to Las Vegas anyway.” I look into Valentino’s eyes. “Wasn’t he?”

“Who knows? There’s an old Italian proverb that says no one can take the one who is destined for you. Jenny, I’ve never seen a woman have the affect you had on him.”

“Really?”

“He’s very special to us, you know. We wish he was here in St. Helena with the family. We miss him every day.”

I’m starting to feel something resembling hope rising in my body. I stand up like a pop goes the weasel toy. “I need to go!” Grabbing Valentino by the sides of his face, I plant a big kiss on his forehead. “Thank you! Thank you!” His laugh follows me out the door.

I make it into my car in record time. Taking my cell from my purse, I bring up Nikos’s number, take a deep breath and touch the number. Every unanswered ring brings more butterflies to my stomach until it’s aflutter.

You reached Nikos. Leave your message. Beep.

I hang up. Shit! Crap! Why’d I do that? Think. What am I gonna say? Umm, Nikos it’s Jenny. I’ll say we need to talk. No. We should talk. No. Do you want to talk? No! I’m calling him! Why would I ask that? Calm down.

I take a cleansing breath and just sit quietly for a while. What if I just drive to Vegas and show up at his place? No. That’s a horrible idea. He deserves a little warning. But I could leave a message that I’m on my way. Or better yet give him time to refuse my visit. Tell him I’m coming tomorrow. Yeah that’s it. Should I say anything about him seeing Peter at my house? Valentino didn’t say that I couldn’t.

Yeah. I’m definitely going to say that.

I try again. It rings the same four times.

You reached Nikos. Leave your message. Beep.

“It’s Jenny.” Suddenly I’m tongue tied. “We need to talk. I want to come to Vegas tomorrow. Nikos, what you saw, the man with the flowers, he wasn’t what you think.” Tears fill my eyes. “I told myself I wasn’t going to cry, but it’s just that it’s important to me that you know the truth. And the truth is it’s only you. So if this is something you want too, call me. I’ll be on the next plane. We can figure it—” Beep.

Cut off mid-sentence. But I guess I said everything I needed to. If he’s interested, he’ll call. I start the car and head for home. It’s best I think positive. I’ve got a plane to catch tomorrow, so I’ve got some packing to do.

I’m totally screwed.

Why hasn’t he called back? My bag is packed, reservations made for the morning, and what I have to say to him rehearsed a hundred times. Let’s see. It’s been eight hours. I called him at ten this morning, it’s six now. Face it Jenny, there’s only one explanation. He doesn’t want me to come. He doesn’t even want to talk with me.

My shoulders slump with the realization. Here I sit in my club chair in the living room, looking like a girl waiting for a bus out of her hometown. I’m dressed, just in case he had called to say ‘get your ass here now!’. My suitcase sits beside the wall, ready for the big trip. Pathetic.

The cell ringing sends a kind of electric shock up my spine. My heart races when I see the name. Tears moisten my eyes.

“Nikos.”

“What’re you wearing?”

“Pink with white lace.” I chuckle as I sit fully dressed in jeans and a sweater.

“Are you fibbing, Jenny?”

“Yes.”

“I thought so. What are you really wearing?”

“Absolutely nothing,” I lie.

Surprisingly, he starts laughing. “Nice. Let me see.”

“Here I am. Can you see me?” I whisper.

“Only the back of your head.”

What? Is he referring to me giving him head?

“Oh yeah. I’ve got your big hard cock in my mouth. Ummmm.”

He can’t stop laughing! Buzz kill.

“What’s so funny?! Am I doing it wrong?” Gone is my sexy whisper. In its place is an annoyed woman’s question.

He doesn’t answer. But suddenly I hear the music. The first notes of the Dirty Dancing anthem.

“Well I had the time of my life…”

I turn toward the sound coming from outside the window behind me. There he stands in the spotlight that shines from the path to the big tree. He’s dressed like Johnny in Dirty Dancing, black short-sleeved shirt open half way, black pants and shoes. He lifts his hand and crooks his index finger, calling me.

I’m not certain my feet are touching the ground as I run to the door. I’m outside and in his arms before a handful of seconds pass. We’re still kissing when he lifts and twirls me in the air.

“I’ll tell you something. This must be love,” he sings along with the lyrics.

My heart soars with the words.

He puts me down but doesn’t let go. Now we dance to the rhythm of our heartbeats. Close, slow, life affirming. He takes my chin in his hands and looks in my eyes.

“I never felt this way before.”

“I love you, Nikos.” The words pour out of me, independent of planning. But I’m not sorry.

The look on his face is pure joy.

“And I love you, my Jenny.”

I take his hands. “We’ll figure it out. I can travel to Vegas one week, and you can come to St. Helena whenever your schedule allows. We can make it work if we want it bad enough.”

He breaks into a wide smile then kisses each of my hands. “I’ll be here for good. I’m moving back.”

My heart and stomach and head all turn upside down. “For real? Because of me?”

“Yes. Because I never want another dancing partner. We need to get to know each other, and living apart wouldn’t work. I want to know it all. And I want you to know me. The good and the bad.”

“I snore a little,” I say giggling.

“Oh, then the whole thing’s off. I won’t put up with that,” he teases.

I grab him by the front of his shirt. “No! You’re here and you’re staying. Even if I have to handcuff you to my bed.”

“Okay, for that I’ll stay.” He smiles.

“What are you going to do for work?” I ask gently.

“I haven’t figured that out yet. But I will. And if it takes me a while to find my way, then I’ll be patient. I can work in the deli while I look for a job I’d be happy doing.”

We kiss. It’s filled with feelings too meaningful for words. When we part he braids his fingers through my hair and brings my head back gently. I feel soft lips on my neck.

“You’re the time of my life,” he whispers. “Everything else is detail.”

The song fades to its end, but Nikos and I, we’ve only just begun.