Chapter Nineteen

 

 

Nobody knew what the hell was happening, and Jaliya was about to lose her mind with worry.

Her palms sweated inside her gloves as she stared across the helo at Taggart while he desperately tried to make contact with FAST Bravo and the Afghan army officials tried to reach what was left of the NIU force on the ground. She’d passed on anything that might be of use to Taggart, but there was little he could do for his men at the moment. And she’d received word ten minutes ago that Barakat had died on the operating table, taking any remaining insider intel with him.

The blood roared in her ears along with the thump of the Blackhawk’s powerful rotors, muted by her headset. She was fighting to hold it together, her heart throbbing so hard it hurt. Her stomach was a massive knot of fear.

Zaid and his team were out there somewhere in the darkness, miles from the helo’s position, fighting for their lives. The last report they’d had from the team said that they’d chased Nasar through some kind of tunnel complex and managed to corner him, but then an unknown number of rogue NIU members had attacked as they were taking off in the helo. They’d taken serious small arms fire and the helo was badly damaged.

There were casualties, but she didn’t know who or even from which unit, let alone how bad the injuries were. Taggart had tried to get more details from the team but they’d lost radio contact along with the feed from Hamilton’s helmet cam a few minutes ago, as the team was boarding one of the choppers.

All Jaliya knew was that a combat search and rescue team were en route to FAST Bravo’s position right now, might even have arrived on scene already. The not knowing was killing her. The waiting was killing her.

She wanted to go straight to Zaid’s location, but the closest she was allowed to get was the FOB. Another gunship had been deployed to their position to help clear off any remaining enemy force converging on the area, but it might already be too late.

She bit her lip and fought back the acidic sting of tears at the thought of Zaid being shot. She couldn’t lose him. And she wished with everything in her that she hadn’t turned away from the opportunity to have him when she’d had the chance.

Stupid. You are so stupid, and now he might be gone forever. She pressed her lips together and swallowed past the horrible restriction in her throat, the regret and fear all but suffocating her.

Across from her, Taggart suddenly straightened and adjusted the laptop screen, his gaze riveted to whatever was happening. After a few minutes he toggled the switch on his headset and spoke to her. “Live feed from the satellite shows a handful of remaining enemy scattering to the west.” He angled the laptop so she could see the infrared footage herself.

She scanned the scene, took in the dots moving around—and the ones that weren’t moving. There was no way for her to tell friend from foe. And there was no way for her to tell if Zaid was one of the motionless figures. “What about the casualties on board the helos?”

“CSAR was at the LZ, but they took heavy fire after takeoff. That’s all I know.” He went back to staring at the laptop.

Jaliya closed her eyes and prayed silently as the minutes ticked by, her throat so tight it felt like she was being strangled. He can’t be gone. He just can’t.

After what seemed like an eternity the pitch of the Blackhawk’s engines changed and they began to descend. The FOB appeared below them, a tiny blip of light in a sea of black. They dipped lower and went into a hover as they approached the base.

Finally the pilots landed inside the perimeter and began shut down procedures. Jaliya took off her headset, unbuckled her belt and followed Taggart out into the open.

Another team was waiting for them and rushed them inside the medium-sized cinderblock building into a room that acted as the TOC. A flurry of confusion followed, with the Afghan military officials crowding around, arguing amongst themselves, pointing fingers and shouting at one another.

“Jesus Christ,” Taggart growled. “Find out what they know about my team,” he said to her. “I need to keep trying to make contact with them.”

Without wasting a moment, Jaliya elbowed her way through the knot of arguing men and shouted to get their attention. “Stop!” They were so surprised that everyone stopped and stared at her and she didn’t dare give them the chance to begin arguing again. “What do you know about the American team?”

“This man’s traitors attacked them,” one colonel sneered.

The accused man’s cheeks went red. “My men are not traitors, but yours are!”

“Enough,” she yelled, thrusting a warning finger at both of them. She was ready to punch someone, and didn’t care if it got her ass fired. “Tell us what you know about the Americans.” They’d worry about the attackers later.

The colonel shot a venomous glare at his counterpart and crossed his arms over his chest. “I heard they captured Nasar.”

What? She whipped around to find Taggart. The instant she made eye contact he stood from where he’d been working to establish comms with the team. “They got Nasar.” She turned back to the colonel. “And? Are any of them wounded?”

The man shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know is that half our men turned on their brothers tonight, and I want every one of them hunted down like the traitorous dogs they are.”

More arguing broke out, and this time she didn’t bother trying to keep the peace. She hurried over to Taggart, who had a headset on and was being briefed by the FOB team who had been monitoring the situation. She caught the basics: the CSAR team was on its way to the FOB with the critically wounded.

Another helo was bringing in FAST Bravo…and two KIA.

Jaliya’s heart lurched as she stared at Taggart, who was trying to reach the second helo’s crew to get an update. But before he could, the soldier manning the radar pointed out the two Blackhawks. “They’ll be arriving in a few minutes,” he said.

Face grim, Taggart tossed aside his headset and headed for the door with Jaliya right behind him.

Together they stood out in the cold with the wind whipping at their clothing, and watched the eastern sky, not saying a word. Jaliya kept praying silently, begging for Zaid to be okay.

After an agonizing wait, she heard the faint thump of distant rotor blades. She craned her neck back to look toward the mountains rising into the midnight-blue sky. A black speck appeared, streaking toward them through the scattered clouds. Moments later, a second one appeared.

A crew began to gather around with fire extinguishers and medical kits to await the damaged aircraft and human payloads.

Her heart pounded as the helos drew nearer. One of them carried Zaid, whether he was alive or…

No. She refused to even think it.

The first Blackhawk circled the base before finally coming in to land inside the secure perimeter. One of the ground crews rushed into action, converging on it with fire extinguishers at the ready. In the bright perimeter lighting she could see bullet holes pock-marking its side.

Taggart started toward it but Jaliya held back, a sudden streak of terror weakening her legs and freezing her in place. If Zaid was dead, she couldn’t bear to find out.

The helo’s side door slid open and men began jumping out. She strained to see them as they emerged, one by one.

Two men climbed out carrying a stretcher. Jaliya watched Taggart. The commander approached them and said something. Their answer had him striding back toward her. There was no way he would have left that spot if any of his team members had been aboard, so Jaliya turned her attention to the second Blackhawk.

It circled high overhead. She peered up at it, hope constricting her ribcage. Her heart slammed so hard it felt bruised as she waited for Taggart to get within earshot. “What did they say?” she shouted over the noise of the engines.

“Two KIA. They don’t know who.”

She closed her eyes. Fuck. Fuck.

Her eyes snapped open when the second bird came in to land. She stood there with her heart in her throat, holding her breath as it touched the ground. Even from where she stood she smelled smoke and jet fuel. It looked like the entire tail section was riddled with bullet holes that streaked up the length of the helo’s right side.

The ground crew moved into action as the crew shut down the engines.

Then the bullet-riddled door slid open. Jaliya stayed where she was as Taggart jogged over to meet his guys.

A man with dark skin jumped out first. Freeman. Then Colebrook and Rodriguez. Hamilton appeared next with Maka. Together the two of them reached back into the helo’s hold and dragged out someone with his arms secured behind his back.

Rage and shock blasted through her when they came near enough for her to recognize Nasar’s face. But just as quickly her gaze shot back to the helo. She didn’t even care that they’d captured The Jackal. She only cared about what had happened to Zaid.

Lockhart hopped out. Then Granger.

A queasy sensation twisted through her gut when an eighth member of the nine-man team appeared in the opening. His back was to her as he struggled with something, and when he stood and turned around, she realized it wasn’t Zaid.

Prentiss. He was carrying something large and black draped over one shoulder.

A body bag.

Oh God, no!

Agony engulfed her. Her legs went out from under her like someone had severed her tendons with a knife. Her knees hit the ground with a hard thud but she barely felt the pain, the agony tearing through her chest eclipsing everything else.

She couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t feel anything, could only stare at that hideous black bag draped over Prentiss’s shoulder.

Zaid. Zaid Khan, the man she loved.

He was gone. She and the other taskforce members had sent him to his death. Because that bastard Nasar had fooled everybody.

Cold wetness filmed her cheeks, and she realized she was crying. Someone was crouched down next to her, trying to talk to her. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him, much less try to listen to what he was saying, too overcome with grief and horror while she stared at the body bag that carried the man she loved.

A strong hand landed on her shoulder. “Jaliya.”

Gutted, she wrenched away from the touch, unable to take her eyes off Prentiss and that bag. He was only a dozen yards from her now. Her heart was shattered, lying in a million broken pieces at the bottom of her chest cavity, and nothing would ever put them back together again. She’d done this. She’d killed him.

An eerie, high-pitched sound came out of her, a thin wail of grief torn from the depths of her soul and carried on the icy wind that couldn’t touch the cold inside her. She clapped her hands over her mouth, her entire body shaking as Prentiss drew near. She couldn’t take this. Was terrified of the grief crashing down upon her.

Another man was next to her now. He and the first one grabbed hold of her arms, lifted her to her feet. She stood but wasn’t aware of doing so, her entire body numb. Her teeth were chattering, the pain of loss so sharp she wanted to scream.

“Hey! Jaliya, look at me.” Taggart.

She shook her head, unaffected by his sharp tone. She didn’t want to look at anyone but Zaid. She needed to see him, to see with her own eyes that he was really gone.

As Prentiss drew near she was vaguely aware of someone else emerging from inside the helo.

“Jaliya, for Christ’s sake, look at me.” Taggart stepped in front of her and grabbed her face in his hands, jolting her out of her shock. His dark blond brows were drawn together in a fierce frown as he glared down at her. “Zaid is alive.”

She jerked. “W-what?”

Seeming relieved that she had given even that tiny response, he relaxed and gave her a half-smile. “He’s okay. Look.” He let her go and turned aside for her to see.

Her shocked gaze landed on a man climbing out of the battle-damaged helo carrying another body bag. For a moment she was sure her mind and eyes were playing a trick on her. That she was hallucinating and had imagined the past five seconds.

Zaid. Walking toward her.

Oh my God…

“Zaid!” It tore from her in a desperate scream as she bolted toward him, her legs like jelly.

His head snapped up and he stopped, an expression of pure relief crossing his handsome face in the perimeter lights. Her face crumpled as she ran for him, the tears streaming down her face preventing her from seeing anything else. Someone else rushed over and took the body bag from him and then he was running toward her.

Jaliya flung herself into his arms and locked hers around his ribs, holding on with all the strength she had in her body as she buried her face in his throat and cried. Zaid crushed her tight to his chest, his arms like iron bands as they locked her to him.

You’re alive. You’re alive…

It was the only thought running through her head as she clung to him and cried her heart out, releasing all the grief and fear and guilt that had been choking her.

Gradually, the endearing sound of his voice penetrated the haze in her brain. “I’m okay, honey. I’m okay.”

She couldn’t stop crying, or shaking. “I th-thought…”

“I see that,” he said with a soft chuckle that hit her square in the heart. “What did they tell you?”

She shook her head, fought to get control. It wasn’t like her to cry like this, let alone in public, but she’d fallen to pieces and didn’t know how to get herself together. “Just t-two…KIA,” she managed in between hitching breaths.

“Oh, baby, you had a real bad scare, huh?” he soothed, his mouth next to her ear.

She nodded, not trusting her voice. Not willing to let go, half afraid that he would disappear if she did.

Zaid held her for a minute longer, smoothing a hand up and down her back while keeping one arm locked around her waist. “It was close, but I’m fine. See? Right here holding you.”

In answer she burrowed in closer and he let out a low groan/chuckle as he gathered her tight once more. “So you really do care, huh?” he murmured.

He was teasing her to try and get her to stop crying but his words shredded her swollen, battered heart.

Pulling her wet face from his chest, she looked up into his eyes. Gold and green flecks glittered back at her in the lights coming from behind her. “I love you.”

His eyes flared hot, an expression of absolute joy crossing his face before he dragged her back into his arms and buried his face in her hair. “Love you too, sweetheart.”

A hot, sweet pain sliced through her at the endearment, the tender intimacy in his voice as he said the words she’d dreamed of hearing. “Should have told you before,” she muttered, her shoulders hitching.

“Nah. Way more romantic this way.”

A watery laugh bubbled out of her. “Stuff of dreams, right here.”

“They’ll make a movie about us someday. Star-crossed, black sheep Muslims finding love in a war zone. It’ll be epic. Probably win an Oscar for best movie.”

That made her chuckle. Her legs didn’t feel so weak anymore, and she was no longer a frozen block of ice inside. Warmth was flooding her system, bringing with it a heavy wave of exhaustion and relief. It felt like she was floating, and Zaid was the only thing anchoring her to the ground.

She let out a shaky sigh and relaxed against him, savoring the thump of his heartbeat beneath her cheek. “I love you. Can’t believe I almost lost you before I worked up the nerve to tell you.”

“You can make it up to me later.” He tipped her head back with one hand and ran an assessing gaze over her face, gently wiping at her tears. Then he smiled and her heart rolled over in her chest. “Come on. Let’s get out of the cold.”

She nodded, leaned into him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her back to the main building. Now that the torrent of emotion was behind her, she cringed inside as Taggart and the others all stopped what they were doing to stare at her and Zaid when they walked in.

She stiffened but Zaid kept his arm firmly around her, and she had to admit she liked the proprietary gesture, the feeling that he was claiming her in front of the others. Not that there was any doubt in anyone’s mind how she felt about him, after that display outside.

Taggart seemed to fight a grin before he brought the team’s attention back to him. Her boss, however, had a different reaction.

David walked straight over and stopped in front of them with his hands on his hips, wearing an annoyed expression. “If you’re done here, we have to get Nasar back to Bagram.”

Her whole face heated up. “Yes, of course.” She pulled away from Zaid, glanced up into his face and gave a tiny smile before following David into a back room. Feeling awkward, she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. I thought he was in that first body bag.”

He shot her an irritated look and kept walking. “Just do your job, okay? We’ve been working for months to find this sonofabitch, and there’s no time for an emotional crisis right now.”

Ouch. But she supposed she deserved that after the scene she’d just made. “Yes, sir.”

In a tiny holding cell in the back room, Nasar was bound hand and foot and had a hood over his head. Jaliya wanted to punch him.

“We’ll take him back to base and interrogate him there. I want everyone there. Set it up,” David told her.

Jaliya immediately pulled out her phone and began making calls to alert the team. This was going to be a long night and she was already beyond exhausted. That crying jag had taken the stuffing out of her.

Another helo arrived with more prisoners, from the rogue NIU agents who had attacked the others. It was going to be a hell of a mess trying to figure out who was dirty or not. Crews were still out there retrieving the dead and wounded.

Forty minutes later, Jaliya headed outside with David, Nasar and the two armed soldiers tasked with guarding him. One of the Blackhawks already had its rotors turning, ready to fly them back to Bagram.

She glanced around, searching for FAST Bravo, but didn’t see any sign of them. They’d probably been called out to assist with the cleanup effort, or had been taken to a meeting somewhere.

With a heavy heart she climbed aboard the chopper and took her seat. The crew took off with the right side door still open. As the crew chief moved to close it, Jaliya spotted a lone figure standing below them.

Zaid.

He raised a hand in farewell even though she was certain he couldn’t see her, and pain sliced through her.

She loved him, but she couldn’t have him yet, and God only knew if or when they’d see each other again. It was why she’d fought so hard not to give into her feelings for him; she’d known this moment would come, whether now or in a few weeks.

But he’d said he loved her, so she was going to fight for her man.

 

****

 

Exhausted and lucky to be alive after the harrowing, fucked-up night they’d had, Reid Prentiss walked out of the main building at the FOB to find Zaid standing alone, staring up at the dark sky. Watching the Blackhawk carrying Jaliya and Nasar back to Bagram.

Reid felt bad for the guy. Jaliya’s reaction when she’d seen him carrying the body bag earlier, and then the way she’d run to Zaid when she’d realized he was alive had touched even Reid’s cold, jaded heart. He’d known something was going on between the two of them, but he’d never guessed it was anything that serious. Clearly she and Zaid had formed a stronger attachment than anyone had realized. He hoped it worked out for them.

Reid walked up next to him and stood there while the Blackhawk disappeared into the darkness. “You okay?” he asked without looking at Zaid, feeling the need to ask.

“Yeah. You?”

He grunted. “I want to hear my little girl’s voice.” Wanted it so bad his chest felt tight. That had been way too fucking close tonight. If he’d been killed, would Autumn know how much she meant to him? How much he loved her?

It sliced him up inside to even wonder about that, or to think that she might forget him in time. As soon as he got back to their barracks, he was calling her. He didn’t care what time it was back in D.C., or whether he woke up his ex to do it. He just needed to hear Autumn’s voice and tell her he loved her.

“I bet you do.” Zaid was quiet a moment. “How the hell am I gonna make this work, though? We’ll be back in D.C. in a few weeks.”

Beats me. Relationships were fucking hard enough without adding in a geographical separation of that magnitude. But, maybe that was the key. Only seeing each other for a few months a year. Could be the secret to making it work long-term. “I suck at relationships, so I’m not really the guy to ask.”

Zaid huffed out a laugh. “Right. Forgot.”

He felt the need to say something comforting. “Talk to Rodriguez. Or Colebrook or Granger. They seem to have it figured out.”

“Yeah. Maybe I will.” Zaid looked at him. “We ready for the next meeting?”

He nodded. “In about five minutes.”

Zaid turned and started for the building, then stopped. “Crap. Left my gear in the helo.”

“I’ll grab it. You go take five.” He strode around the far side of the building where the Blackhawk crew was still inspecting their damaged aircraft. The tail section looked like Swiss cheese, and the right side of the fuselage didn’t look much better. It still amazed him that his team had made it back here in one piece.

He climbed inside the open door to grab Zaid’s gear. When he emerged, the crew chief was by the tail section, talking to one of the pilots, whose body told him was a woman. Reid nodded at them and started to turn for the building, but stopped when the pilot pulled her helmet off to reveal honey-blond hair twisted into a knot at the base of her neck.

He stared in astonishment at the pretty female pilot he recognized, trying to remember her name. Something Russian or Polish that ended in “ski”. He’d seen her around Bagram a few times, and at a couple of the briefings. Was she army? DEA?

She gave him a tired smile and nodded back. “How’s your team?” she asked.

He unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth and found his voice. “We’re all fine, thanks to you. Your bird sure took one hell of a beating out there.”

She gazed at the Blackhawk with a fond expression. “She did. But she still got us home.”

“No, you got us home.” It freaking amazed him that anyone could have flown back with a bird that badly damaged. “That was some damn fine flying.”

The smile she flashed him hit him square in the chest, taking him off guard along with the flare of interest he felt. The first time he’d experienced it in…well, forever. “Just doing my job. And I’ve got a great crew. Have a good night.”

“You too.” He walked back into the building and joined his teammates for the next meeting. But even as his commander got down to business, Reid couldn’t get that gorgeous smile out of his head.