MY LAST EXAM of the fall semester was Thursday, December 16th. So, as part-celebration and part-big gesture for Ryan, I set up dinner with him and my family at The Palm, a steakhouse on 2nd Avenue. Well, with my extended family, that is. My father may never accept him, but I have no doubt my Uncle John will. I want Ryan to know he’s important and my uncle has been salivating to meet him, so I’m satisfying two cravings at once.
Ryan and I stand on the sidewalk, right outside The Palm’s entrance, sharing a cigarette. It’s a cold, December night, the air is crisp, and it smells like Christmas. Ryan is jittery, and has been since we left my apartment. He shakes his hands out and cracks his neck like he’s about to step into a boxing ring.
“What’s wrong with you?” I suck in a drag. “Not used to wearing so many clothes?”
He glares at me, and I laugh.
“That’s not funny.”
“That’s totally funny.” I exhale a cloud of smoke.
He rolls his eyes. “Okay, maybe it’s a little funny.”
“Seriously, what’s wrong? You’re acting like a caged tiger.”
“This whole thing just seems kind of shady. Meeting everyone in your family except your father.”
I shrug. “It is shady. But that’s the way it has to be. Everyone knows my father and what kind of man he is.”
“I don’t understand how he can be so cruel.” Ryan blows some air into his hands to warm them up.
“Cruel? I don’t know if it’s cruelty that drives him. It’s social status. His image. He’s an elitist.”
“What about your image? What if I go in there and make you look bad?”
“How? Are you going to start table dancing?”
“Alana—”
“They’ll accept you.” I rush the words. “You’re the first guy I’ve ever brought home. They know how important you are. If there’s one thing I can say about my Uncle John, he’s spent his entire life trying to make up for all my father’s shortcomings.”
I kill my cigarette in the ashtray by the door, then take Ryan by the hand and lead him inside. I nod to the smiling hostess as we make our way to the back of the restaurant. The Palm is an upscale steakhouse known for its impeccable food, celebrity sightings, and unique décor. It’s also one of my uncle’s favorite places to eat. They know him by name.
The dining room is covered in dark red cherrywood . . . everything from the floor, to the side panels, to the booths is a glossy dark red. The most intriguing aspect, and trademark of the restaurant, are the cartoons and caricatures on the walls. Almost every inch is covered with a recognizable face or a regular diner. It’s a quirky, chic atmosphere, but it’s also warm and inviting. The wait staff always goes out of their way to treat their guests like family.
I spot Emily at a round table in the corner gabbing to Alex, her husband. The whole family is here. My Uncle John, my Aunt Caroline, and two empty seats for Ryan and me. As we approach the table, Emily jumps up and nearly tackles me to the ground. She’s wearing a tight pair of jeans with white stitching, a white tunic top with sequins, and knee-high black boots. The outfit is out of this world, just like Emily. I make the formal introductions before we all sit down. There is a split second of awkward silence, but it dissipates as soon as the waitress appears for our drink orders. I’m going with red wine tonight, and Ryan gets his usual, a Tanqueray and tonic.
“So, Ryan, what is it that you do, son?” My uncle doesn’t waste any time as the waitress struts off.
Emily nearly spits out her water.
I glare at her. We knew this conversation was coming, so Ryan and I prepared.
“Um, I’m working some odds and end jobs right now to save money to start a company.”
My uncle nods, his brown eyes sparkling. “What kind of company?”
“Graphic design.”
“That doesn’t sound like there’s much overhead.”
“Um, no, there isn’t.” Ryan fidgets with the napkin on his lap. He’s so cute when he’s nervous. “But I want to put my full attention into it, so I’m trying to save enough now so I don’t have to work any side jobs later.”
The corners of my uncle’s mouth curve up. “That’s a very sound plan.”
“Ah, thank you, sir.”
The waitress returns with our drinks, and Ryan immediately takes a huge swig. He’s nervous. We both are.
“So, are you from the city?” My Aunt Caroline picks up the conversation.
“Um, no. I’m from New Jersey, originally. I moved to the city a little over a year ago, for a change of pace.”
“What part of New Jersey?” Of course, she’s curious, it’s where we’re all from.
“Neptune,” Ryan answers uncomfortably.
“Oh.” My aunt smiles. “That’s where I grew up.”
Ryan is momentarily surprised.
“We moved to Marlboro when I was sixteen, though,” she explains.
Marlboro is a town next to Colts Neck, which is where I grew up. Marlboro isn’t as elite, it has more commercial space, and the homes aren’t as large, but it is just as beautiful as Colts Neck, with its sprawling farmlands and pristine grounds. Neptune is southeast, more toward the ocean. It’s urbanized, with decent sections and some not-so-decent sections.
Ryan, unfortunately, grew up in one of the not-so-decent sections.
“Do you have a big family?” My aunt goes on, and my stomach clenches.
“Um, no,” Ryan answers. “It’s just me and my mom, and my twin brother, Sean.”
“Twin?” She’s intrigued, her blue eyes twinkling. “You mean there’s two of you walking around?”
“Yes,” I interject, catching her observation. Ryan is heart-stoppingly handsome, there’s no ignoring it. “Their personalities are completely different though.”
Ryan glances at me uncomfortably, maybe I should have left that part out.
“How so?” My aunt’s interest is piqued. Oops.
“I guess you could say I’m the lover and Sean’s the fighter.” Ryan flashes a shy smile, and I swear my Aunt Caroline swoons.
“When we were younger he got in plenty of fights over me.” Ryan smirks awkwardly as he explains.
“You never told me that.” I lean into him.
He shrugs. “Sometimes I think Sean was just looking to pick a fight. I was a good reason to start one.”
“It sounds more noble when you do it for someone you love?” I question.
“Something like that, I guess.” Ryan sounds unconvinced.
The waitress reappears to take our dinner orders. Everyone goes for a steak except Emily, who orders lobster tail.
The conversation rolls along smoothly as everyone gets to know each other, and by the time Ryan is done with his first drink, his anxiety level has dropped, and he’s charming the pants off everyone at the table. Emily glances at Alex who is preoccupied with his phone, before leaning over to me. “Hey,” she whispers. “How is everything going with Ryan’s ‘side job’?” She does air quotes under the table.
“Fine. He leaves work at work, if you get what I mean.”
Alex shoots us a strange look. I guess he doesn’t know what Ryan’s ‘side job’ is.
Emily smiles. “That’s good. You two look happy.”
“We are.” I smile stupidly. I haven’t seen or talked to Emily much over the last few months. With me in law school and her married now, the dynamic is different. But I’m hoping over winter break we can spend some quality time together.
“Can you come spend a night in the city while I’m off from school?” I ask her. “We can have a girls’ night.”
Emily’s grin widens.
“Yes, please, take her,” Alex chimes in. “She’s been going stir-crazy in the house.”
Alex and Emily met at a work gathering three years ago. She was interning for a magazine, which was doing a spread on the fifty most eligible bachelors in New York City. Alex was number thirty-five. He’s classy and handsome, distinguished, with short brown hair that’s curly on top and the sharpest cheek bones I’ve ever seen.
Did I mention he’s filthy stinkin’ rich? Which is why Emily is probably bored to death. She doesn’t have to work, and she has no idea what to do with herself.
“I have no one to hang out with anymore,” she whines.
“You have Alex,” I point out.
“I live with him, I have to hang out with him, too?” She curls her lip cutely as I overhear some of Ryan and my uncle’s conversation.
“So, graphic design?” my uncle pries. “Do you do logos?”
Ryan nods his head. “Logos, book covers, web design.” He rattles off the list.
My uncle gets this look on his face, the one where you can see the steam engine churning. It’s the same one he gets when he’s preparing for a case. “Would you be interested in designing a logo for my law firm? We’re in the market for a new one and we just haven’t found anything we like. Maybe we need some young blood to mix things up a bit.”
Ryan’s mouth drops open. My uncle’s law firm is one of the biggest in New York City. Doing a logo for him would put Ryan on the map.
“Ah,” Ryan stutters, “of course, I can put together a few specs for you to look at. I’ll just need to know what kind of feel you’re going for.”
“Great, I’ll set it up.” My uncle claps just as our food arrives. Ryan looks over at me with astounded eyes. I just smile.
“What about you?” My uncle turns his attention to me.
“Me?” I squeak. “You want me to design a logo, too?”
My Uncle John laughs. “Are you interning anywhere over winter break?”
“Um, no. I sent out a few feelers, but I haven’t gotten anything yet.”
He cuts into his steak, the knife slicing through it like warm butter. “Would you be interested in interning at my law firm?”
It’s my turn for a jaw to drop.
“Of course,” I hastily answer.
“Good.” He chews and then swallows. “Come in at eight on Monday morning, and we’ll get you squared away.”
My Uncle John has put on a red suit and is commanding eight tiny reindeer tonight.
For dessert Ryan and I decide to split a brownie sundae. I’m chitchatting with Emily when I hear a whiney voice that sends chills down my spine. “Oh, my God, you’re him! That guy, Jack the Stripper!” I whip my head around to find a big-busted brunette in Ryan’s face. “I saw you perform a couple weeks ago. I tried to get a private dance, but you are like, booked for months.”
Everyone at the table falls silent, staring at Ryan, the color of his face changing from white to green then finally red.
He braces his hands against the table’s edge and glares out of the corner of his eye. “Do you mind? I’m with people,” he says in a calm, even tone, but I know he’s anything but.
Ms. Busty Brunette scoffs as if offended, but before she can say anything else Emily stands up—all one hundred pounds of her soaking wet—outraged. “Beat it, skank, we’re trying to have dinner.” Now all eyes have shifted to her.
“Skank?” the brunette sneers. “I’m not the one who takes my clothes off for a living.”
“I’m sure if someone paid you enough, you would,” Emily snaps, channeling Jill.
“Whatever,” the girl hisses and then stalks off.
Ryan is stapled in place, staring at me with repentant eyes. I know he’s not embarrassed for himself. He’s embarrassed for me. Ryan doesn’t apologize for his occupation, he owns it. But in this situation he didn’t want to do anything to make me look bad. And having my family find out he’s a stripper may just reflect badly on me.
But I’m not embarrassed or ashamed. And I’m sort of pissed Emily beat me to the punch, because I would have loved to tell that girl where to stick it.
“Um, can you all please excuse me for a second?” Ryan shoots up from the table and flees like his ass is on fire. I immediately grab my purse and go after him. He’s halfway down the block by the time I get outside.
“Ryan!” I yell but he keeps walking. I rip my high heels off and start running. “Ryan, wait!” My bare feet go numb against the cold pavement, but I don’t care. I’m determined to catch him.
Ryan turns when I grab his arm. “Ryan, don’t run away.”
“I’m not running, I’m sprinting. Why are you holding your shoes?” He huffs, his breath appearing in the cold night air.
“I can’t run that fast in heels.” I slip my black Pradas back on. The balls of my feet are absolutely frozen.
“Please, come back inside,” I beg.
“Alana, I don’t know . . .”
“They’re not going to judge you.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about.” He runs his fingers through his wavy hair and pulls. “I know who I am, what I am . . . But you . . .”
“Don’t worry about me,” I cut off his train of thought on the spot. “My aunt and uncle aren’t like that.”
“She’s right.” My Uncle John’s voice rumbles through the air. We both turn abruptly to look at him.
“Alana, would you give me and Ryan a moment?” he requests.
I glance between them, Ryan extending a little head nod.
I turn and walk back to the restaurant, but I light a cigarette before I go inside. I can see Ryan and my uncle talking in the distance, but they’re too far away for me to hear their conversation. God, what I wouldn’t give to be a button on Ryan’s shirt right now. To hear what my Uncle is saying to him. There’s a lot of head gestures on Ryan’s part and if I can interpret correctly, it looks like my uncle is lecturing him. But I’m not sure. My uncle isn’t one to berate others, but when it comes to me and my wellbeing, I don’t know what lengths he’ll go to.
When they begin to walk back, I quickly kill my cigarette then hurry back inside. I get stuck in the bottleneck of people trying to get through the inside door. Swallowed up in the mass I hear my uncle’s voice. “I’ll tell you this one last thing, son, if you hurt her I’ll kill you. I’m one of the top attorneys in New York City and my brother is a judge, I’ll get away with it.”
Holy shit, my uncle just threatened Ryan.
“No, sir.” I hear Ryan respond. “I would never hurt her. I can barely breathe when we aren’t in the same room . . .”
My heart swells.
I slip through the crowd and scurry back to the table, sitting down before my uncle and Ryan return. Phew.
“Is everything okay?” my aunt asks.
“I think so.” I nod as I take a big gulp of wine.
“Is he coming back?” Emily asks.
“Yes, your father talked to him.”
“This has to be the most interesting dinner I’ve been to in a while,” Alex comments amused, while still looking at his phone. Emily elbows him.
“Don’t make Ryan feel uncomfortable,” she hisses.
“I won’t.” Alex rubs his arm. “I just want to know how often he gets laid, he must be teeming with women.”
I look at Alex, appalled. “I am sitting right here, you know,” I snap, and that’s the end of the conversation as a tense Ryan sits back down.
My uncle gives me a wink from across the table as he picks up the check. I can only return a small, uncomfortable smile. This really has been one hell of a dinner.
Ryan and I say our goodbyes in front of the restaurant, then walk a few blocks just to get some air, the silence stretching with each step we take.
“So, that was eventful.” I finally break the ice. I can’t take the quiet anymore. It’s maddening.
“Definitely one for the books,” Ryan huffs, his breath swirling around in front of his face.
“Are you okay?” I probe delicately.
“Fine, are you?”
“Yes. They loved you. I love you.” I stop walking and face him.
“I love you, too.”
“Then tell me what you’re thinking, because quiet Ryan is scaring the ever lovin’ shit out of me.”
Ryan’s lips twist up into a smile. “I was thinking about your uncle’s logo and all the ideas I have for it.”
“That’s it? That’s why you’re quiet?”
“Yeah, why did you think I was quiet? Afraid I wanted to break up so I can sleep with all my teeming women?”
“You heard that?” I curl my lip.
“Yup.”
“Alex can be an idiot sometimes.”
“It’s okay.” Ryan wraps his arm around me. “Is that the kind of guy your father wants you to marry?”
“Alex? No. He has to be someone much stuffier, but equally as rich.”
“Well, you’re not going to get rich or stuffy here.”
I rest my head on his shoulder as we walk.
“That’s perfectly fine with me.”