When I arrived at the Bistro my mom had chosen for dinner, I was surprised to find her alone at the table. I’d expected her to have her latest boyfriend or girlfriend in tow. I couldn’t remember the last time my mom had spent an evening without a date.
I sat down and told the waitress I wanted a dry martini with blue cheese stuffed olives but as soon as I took a sip, the alcohol turned my stomach. I waved our waitress down and ordered a diet soda. My mom happily took the martini off my hands.
“I’m surprised you didn’t have a date for me to meet, Mom,” I said as she sipped the cocktail.
“I’m between loves right now. I’m sure I’ll find someone soon, though. Don’t worry,” she said and smiled.
“I can’t believe how cavalier you are about relationships,” I said, barely able to hide how appalled I was by her nonchalance.
“Don’t be so judgmental, Poe, darling. Love is absolutely amazing.”
“Except when it fails,” I grumbled.
“It’s amazing even when it fails, Poe. It’s almost always still worth it. You learn, you have new experiences, and in the end, hopefully, you grow. You can’t do that unless you risk it failing,” she said and took another sip.
“Have you ever been in love, Poe? I’ve never even heard you mention an Alpha before. It’s almost as if we’re not cut from the same cloth,” she said and threw her head back in laughter. It was a big, throaty thing that was just like her.
Bigger than life.
“I came really close,” I said and tried not to tear up.
“Tell me about it,” she said and patted my hand softly.
“I met an Alpha who I think I almost fell in love with. He was gorgeous, but Blake also spent his weekends volunteering at the local animal shelter. Not only was he good-looking, but he had a good heart too.”
“That sounds wonderful, Poe,” Mom said. “What happened?”
“His manager is a snake. He came into the shop and filled my head with stuff about Blake not wanting an Omega like me when he was a famous model. He accused me of being the thing stopping Blake from taking this huge contract. I didn’t even know Blake was having second thoughts about the contract.”
“And you let him get in your head?” she asked.
“I did, and I pushed him away hard. He’s gone now, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fix the damage I caused.”
“Poe, I love you with every fiber of my being, but you’re an idiot,” she said in a curt tone.
I yanked my hand away from her. “Oh like you’re the expert on love, Mother? You can’t hold onto a lover or husband to save your life.”
“I know you’re hurting, so I’m going to let that slide. But, Poe, at least I keep trying. No matter how bad things have been in the past with exes, I’ve never given up hope. I know love is out there, and I will find it. I’m just trying to have fun and not let it get me down in the process.”
I instantly felt guilty. I’d never looked at it that way, but she was right.
“I’m sorry, Mom. You’re right. Do you think I messed up letting him go like that?”
“Of course you did, Poe. You messed up big-time letting a man like that go.”
“Do you think I can fix it?”
“If anyone can fix it, Poe, it’s you. If you’re willing to risk heartache to let this Blake in, you’ll be surprised at how much love can open up for you. I wish I’d met the one when I was as young as you. You can’t let someone like that slip away, Poe. You’ve got to make it right,” she said.
When we finished our dinner, I walked Mom to her car. I’d be mulling over the things she’d said. I was about to ask her about staying strong while you had a family, but she got to it first. Sometimes I swore that Mom could read my mind.
“You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Poe. And you were the best thing that ever happened to Paul Senior too. Even if he won’t or can’t admit it, you are the light of our lives. Don’t ever forget that.”
I kissed her on the cheek and waved as she drove into the night. As soon as she was gone, I got out my phone and sent Blake a message. I told him I was sorry, and that I had a lot more to say if he would give me a chance to talk.
He never texted back. I checked my phone every few minutes for three days before I finally accepted that he wasn’t going to answer.