MY PHONE RINGS FROM THE cupholder in my car, and I see Gareth’s name pop up for the third time today.
Freya eyes the screen from her spot beside me. “Please tell me you’re going to answer that.”
“I’m not,” I reply and shoot her a scathing look.
“You can’t possibly be ghosting him again. You already tried that once and it didn’t take.”
“I’m not ghosting him. I have Sophia this week. He knows I’m busy.”
“Why are you still hiding her from him? It’s obvious you two are a semi-regular thing now.”
My hands wrap tighter around the wheel. There is no way in hell I’m telling Gareth about Sophia. We’re already blurring so many lines because I can’t seem to quit digging into his personal life.
I cut a look at Freya. “Telling him I’m a mother will personalise things even more than we already have, and I can’t handle that right now. We’re just having sex. He’s okay with that.”
“Then why aren’t you taking his calls?”
“Because I don’t know what I want to say!”
She sighs heavily. “You snuck out of his house before he woke up Saturday. He’s been calling you all weekend, even when he’s been busy with a home football game. It’s Monday now. You’ve had some time to breathe. Just talk to him and stop being a bitch.”
“I am not being a bitch!” I argue, my hands clenching the wheel in a death grip. “I’m trying to figure out how to handle this. We had an agreement and he broke it. Now I’m trying to decide what it all means before I talk to him.”
“Well, considering we’re going right by his house in a few minutes, I hope you’re going to talk to him today. He lost his game Saturday. He’s probably feeling awful.”
“We have a fitting with Brandi.”
“I can take care of the fitting. You should take the car and go over to his house. Fix this so you stop obsessing over your mobile.”
I frown as I turn down the private drive toward Hobo’s home. “Gareth might not even be home and I’m supposed to be out of town.” I glance at his gate with a forlorn sort of pit in my belly. I hate that he lost his game on top of what’s going on between us.
“You are impossible!” Freya tuts with a growl. “If I had a man like Gareth Harris phoning me nonstop, I’d never let it go to voicemail. You have issues, love.”
“Don’t I know it,” I murmur.
When we pull onto Hobo and Brandi’s property, I learn that my issues can no longer be ignored. Gareth is sitting on the front step of Hobo’s house and he does not look happy.
Freya’s green eyes fly wide. “He looks pissed. Christ, he’s sexy.”
I shut the car off and swallow slowly. “I don’t care.”
She shakes her head and slides out of the car. “I’m just going to nip in with these gowns and get started with Brandi. You, erm…take care of business.” Freya shuffles awkwardly with the garment bags in the backseat and turns to see Gareth pass by her in his pursuit to me.
My heart lurches when I realise Sophia’s booster seat is still in the back, so I hurry away from my vehicle toward two quaint little outbuildings.
I shoot an angry look at Gareth. “Over here,” I snap, pointing to the alleyway between two dilapidated barns that look to be at least a hundred years old.
I make my way down the narrow alley between the two moss-covered brick structures and can feel Gareth’s eyes burning holes into my back. When I turn to face him, the expression on his face is similar to that of a cornered bear.
“We need to talk,” he growls, the vein on his neck looking like it could burst at any moment.
“This is not okay!” I exclaim, stepping into his space and poking his chest with my finger. I’m taking control of this conversation. Not him. He’s one-upped me enough this week.
He wraps his hand around my finger. “What you’re doing is not okay!”
“Gareth, I am working right now!” I seethe, yanking my finger away and balling my hands into fists at my sides. “You can’t just show up at an appointment of mine and demand to speak to me.”
Gareth gestures angrily toward the house. “You told me you were travelling! So imagine my surprise when Hobo said you were coming over today.”
“I am travelling. I leave…later,” I lie, unable to look him in the eyes as I do so. “This is the second time you’ve made me look ridiculous in front of Hobo and Brandi!”
“Bollocks,” he growls. “Stop fucking ghosting me and I won’t have to show up like this!”
“I’m not ghosting you!” I retort, running a frustrated hand through my hair. “I’m travelling and…processing.”
“Processing what? The fact that I fucked you and not the other way around for once?”
“Exactly!” I respond, my voice rising in pitch as I lean into him, desperate to drive my point across. “That wasn’t part of our arrangement. I need boundaries for this to work, Gareth.”
“Why?” he bites back, his eyes dropping to my lips.
I fumble with my thoughts for a moment, terrified he might kiss me. I gave him that gift, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it if he takes it now. I shake my head and muster up all my strength. “I don’t want to turn back into the person I once was, Gareth. The reason this arrangement was working is because we had clear expectations of each other. If we’re going to keep doing this, that cannot happen again.”
“I don’t want you to change, Sloan!” he exclaims, his gaze raking slowly over my body. His hazel eyes turn to fire as he blatantly undresses me in his mind. His voice is softer when he adds, “I was just doing my due diligence. You seemed to be getting awfully worked up in your sleep, and I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable down there.”
The wicked gleam in his eyes sends a traitorous jolt of need right between my legs and my knees wobble. I inhale a big gulp of air, feeling my cheeks heat so much I have to look away from him when I reply, “I need to know that nothing’s changed, Gareth.”
“Nothing’s changed,” he states and moves in closer to me, backing me up against the cool bricks. “You’re still in charge, and I still want to lose myself when I’m with you. But I need you to not run every time you get scared.”
He cages me, his heat enveloping all around me. It would be so easy to turn into a puddle of goo right in front of him. He has a strong presence that I could lose myself in completely. But if I want to continue this arrangement, I need to hold my feelings and personal life at bay and correct him. The way he’s approaching me right now is like a dog with no discipline.
I’m not going to let him alpha me anymore.
Narrowing my eyes, I shove both hands against his hard chest and push him backwards against the other building. Shock registers on his face first, then excitement. Fiery, passionate, lusty excitement.
My voice is firm when I reply, “I’m not scared. And fine, no more ghosting. Just remember who’s in charge and we’ll be able to continue this.” I stare down at his lips and lean in. “Now go home before I decide you need something more painful than hot wax or my hand next time I see you.”
His nostrils flare with a possessive thrill. “When will I see you again?”
Sophia instantly comes to mind. “I get back next Monday.”
His brow furrows. “You sure travel a lot.”
“Gareth!” I scold, stifling my anxiety over how I’m going to keep this up much longer if he’s already pushing back like this. “This isn’t a relationship. This is an arrangement you are breaking right now. If you want this to continue, why are you questioning me?”
He lifts his hands up in surrender. “All right, Monday.”
“Monday.”
Without another word, I turn sharply on my heel. My hair flicks in his face before I stride away with my back straight and shoulders high. The weight of his heated stare on me is enough to make my steps falter.
My greatest challenge isn’t controlling Gareth.
It’s controlling myself.