I was in trouble with this one.
Deep, deep trouble.
She was bossy, stubborn, independent and threatened my eyebrow. Just one of them… I wasn’t exaggerating when I called her untamed.
She felt like an earthquake, shaking up everything inside me.
I didn’t want ordinary. No woman who was could hold my attention. Josie challenged me in ways I’d never been challenged before.
The way she looked sitting behind the wheel of the Lotus was the shit wet dreams were made of. She could be a pinup with all those curves and, dark, glossy hair.
“Wait,” I said, putting my hand over hers when she gripped the stick shift in the center.
“I haven’t even hit the gas, and already you changed your mind?” She scowled. “Too bad. No takebacks.”
I laughed. “Did you learn that in the third grade?”
“Duh.” She scoffed and rolled her moss-colored eyes.
“How about a little night air?” I glanced up at the roof.
The spark of interest in her eyes was all the answer I needed. After a minute, I pulled off the special hardtop over our heads and lifted it carefully down. Cautiously, I placed it on the ground, near the retaining wall of the track.
“Too slow!” she called when I turned back and started to pull away.
“Hey!” I shouted and sprinted forward and jumped in.
Her laughter floated behind. She’d likely tangled in her hair as she sped off and summer air flooded the interior of the Lotus.
She wasn’t shy with the gas pedal. In fact, it made me jealous the way she seemed to give it all her attention. My car flew over the track, down the straightaway, and she released a yell up into the air.
Her hands curled around the steering wheel lovingly, like even though she drove like a bat out of hell, her touch was gentle. The respect she had for the car and the road itself impressed me. I felt out of control sitting here in the passenger seat as the car I normally only ever drove barreled through the dark.
Maybe it was the wind or the way she looked driving with sparkling eyes, wild hair, and a big, toothy grin that made me feel so free.
Or maybe it was the loss of control in the moment. The fact that I was pretty much at her whim. I trusted her more than almost anyone. I didn’t know how that came to be, but here it was.
I could totally sink into the leather and enjoy the way the night blurred by, how everything was out of focus except for the way she looked.
Being so tightly wound and in control every second of every single day was exhausting. Hardly ever was I the one to sit back and let someone else drive.
Drive my car. Drive my heart.
She downshifted, slowing as we came toward the gravel patch, then spun the wheel and whipped around, only to punch the gas again and tear off in the opposite direction.
I laughed.
“I love this car!” she cried.
“Go for it,” I yelled over the engine and the wind.
She glanced over. I caught one second of her questioning eyes before her hair took away my view. I leaned over, pinned back the defiant strands, and said, “Open her up.”
That’s all she needed to hear. The Lotus shot forward as she pushed the engine to its highest speed. When a curve came, she took it, smooth as butter. Sweet as cream.
Eventually, she slowed, the churning air settled to what felt like a gentle breeze, and one of her hands fell off the wheel and reached for the stick shift.
I didn’t think twice about pressing my palm to the back of her hand and slipping my fingers in hers. We rode in comfortable silence. Every so often, she’d look up into the sky where stars painted shapes on a black canvas.
I was surprised when the Lotus rolled to a stop. She turned to me, her eyes sparkling with happiness, her nose pink, and her hair looking like there was a nest of birds living in it.
“Your turn,” she said.
Surging forward, I took her mouth. A small sound of surprise floated into mine, and I swallowed it as I ravaged her mouth. In my ear, my pulse pounded, but I didn’t stop kissing her. I couldn’t. Using my tongue, I stroked her over and over again. Using my lips, I nibbled on her mouth, and using my hands, I tried to show her just how much I coveted her presence.
“Wow,” she whispered when I pulled back enough for us to breathe.
I kissed her again.
Her eyes were glassy when I came around to the driver’s door and opened it for her to stand. I chuckled, reached for her, and helped her out.
She didn’t need my help, but she had it anyway.
Her skin was soft, not like silk, but velvet. Her wrist was delicate. I could easily wrap my forefinger and thumb all the way around.
“I thought I was going to have to pry you out of the driver’s seat,” I murmured. “I definitely thought you’d want to drive half the night.”
One shoulder shrugged. “Maybe I missed the sound of your voice.”
My heart skipped. There was beauty in the untamed, especially when something so wild approached you.
Keeping hold of her wrist, I leaned inside my car, hit the button, and shut it off. Since no one was here with us, I left the key fob inside and closed the door gently as I tugged her along with me.
At the retaining wall, I offered her my hands to hoist her up. Abandoning both her flip-flops to the pavement, her bare foot hit my palms. It didn’t take much effort to hoist her because she helped. Once she was up over the wall, I took a running leap and hoisted myself up as well.
We climbed over the railings to the seating and climbed the concrete steps between the wide rows to one that was high and overlooked the spacious, still track.
There were lights lit up around the track, sort of like streetlights that stayed on when it was dark, for added security. There were probably cameras, too, but I wasn’t worried about those. The only thing those deterred me from was stripping her naked here and now.
I might insist I didn’t own Josie, but no one else was allowed to see her naked.
Only me.
For always.
I sat in a seat in the middle of a long row, stretching my legs out in front of me as much as I could. Josie sat beside me, angling her body toward mine, lifting her legs and draping them over my extended legs.
Her feet were still bare, her toenails painted a dark shade. I couldn’t tell which because of the dark sky.
“It’s peaceful here,” she mused, looking up at the star-splattered sky.
“You seem surprised.”
“I guess I’m just used to places like this filled with unending chaos.”
“You like it?” I turned my head toward her, studying her profile as she studied the sky.
The side of her mouth curved up. “I do.”
We lapsed into silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Part of me wanted to talk. Just like I told her, I wanted to know her more. I wanted more than just her body.
I wasn’t too good at talking. I didn’t do it much. Only ever with Arrow, and that seemed easier somehow.
“You drove really great today,” Josie told me.
I smiled. “You make a pretty good spotter.”
She laughed. “I prefer driving.”
“I didn’t know you’d be here today.”
Her shoulders moved beneath her top. “I don’t have a race ‘til next weekend. I’ll be at all the NRR races I can.”
“‘Cause you’re crossing over,” I stated. I knew that was the reason. Still, I couldn’t help but want her to say she’d been here for me.
“Yeah.” Her voice took on a little different tone with that one word. Kind of guarded.
“I saw you being interviewed right before I hit the track.”
She grimaced. “I’m not very good with reporters.”
I scoffed, amused. “No?”
Her chin came down; green eyes sought me out. “They asked about you.”
That was surprising. “Me?”
“There’s a rumor going around I’m crossing over because you and I are involved.”
“No shit?” I laughed.
My teeth were still on full display when she gave me a withering look. Apparently, this didn’t please her the way it did me.
“When he was done asking about you, he asked about Drew and my father.” Her voice was bitter.
Ah. “He didn’t ask about your racing.”
Josie made a rude sound. “He did when I called him on it.”
I laughed again. That’s my girl, giving ‘em all hell.
The thought stopped me in my tracks.
“So, uh…” I started, trying to recover. “What did you say?”
“I copped out.”
That surprised me. I forgot all about my private thoughts. “You copped out?”
“I gave some lame, generic answer.”
I reached for her hand. “Nothing about you is lame, Josie.”
She was silent a long moment. I watched her stare down at our joined hands. There was a storm inside her, one that raged on, constantly trying to drown her. I’d seen it before, and I saw it right now.
“Has anyone asked you about the magazine article?” she asked. “About us?”
Dad did. I shook my head. “No.”
“Toward the end of the interview, I said something you should probably know about.” The regret in her voice made me kinda excited.
“Oh yeah?” I squeezed her hand.
She rolled her eyes and actually blushed.
“Did you tell them we were dating, Josie? Don’t worry. I’ll go along with it so I don’t embarrass you.”
She yanked her hand away and punched me in the stomach.
“Ow!” I howled.
“I didn’t tell them we were dating, you idiot.”
I bent over my knees like it hurt, but really, I just was laughing. I loved it when she got all feisty.
“I tried to make a joke,” she said, not even concerned for my could-be injury. Hell, she wasn’t even looking at me.
It made me laugh harder.
“After the disastrous interview, I thought it might help,” she muttered. “Wrong.”
“What’d you say?” I sat back, reining in the laughter.
“He asked me again to comment on our relationship,” she said. “So I said I don’t have a comment, but I might if he asks me out.”
I felt like I’d just won a marathon. Like a total victor. “He being me.”
“Smug is not a good look on you.”
I sat back, propping my feet on the chair in front of me. “You want me to ask you out.”
“I do not.”
I chuckled.
A frustrated sound pierced the space around us, and she shot up to presumably march away. My feet hit the ground, and I caught her arm, pulling her back until she stumbled into my lap.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I whispered.
“Leaving.”
“Tell me about the interview.” I implored. “Why was it disastrous?”
“It’s like people don’t know how to react to a woman in racing. He tried to goad me. He wanted me to act unprofessional or something.”
“It’s hard, huh?” I said, nudging her rigid body.
She sighed, and all her weight shifted into me. I leaned back, adjusting my position to make more room in my lap. Her legs draped over the armrest and into her now vacant seat.
“Sometimes it kinda sucks,” she whispered.
Her head hit my shoulder. The arm loosely looped around her back tightened, holding her a little closer. My free hand settled over her bare knee, sliding down the top of her thigh. I tucked my fingers between her legs and left them there.
“You have any friends in the pros?” I asked. Since she was so close, I didn’t have to speak very loud.
“Just Hopper.”
“Your manager?”
“Yeah, technically, he still works for the pro division, but I think he’s going to come with me when I crossover.”
“Are any of the drivers nice to you, Josie?”
“No.” After she realized she spoke out loud, a new tension coiled beneath her skin. I rubbed slow circles over her side. “I can handle it, though.”
“I know.” She shouldn’t have to handle it.
“John said the reaction to my announcement wasn’t good in my division. It surprised me.”
“Who the fuck is John?” I burst out.
Her head lifted off my shoulder. She was so close I could make out all the shades of green in her eyes. “The guy who interviewed me.”
Oh. Right. “He’s an asshole,” I declared.
“Have you ever met him?” she wondered.
Why did I need to meet him? “You agree with me.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, well, I talked to him.”
“Good enough for me.” I shrugged and then pushed her back into my shoulder. “So the asshole said that and you were surprised.”
Look at me keeping up with the conversation. I was proud of myself.
“They don’t even like me. I would think they’d be glad to see me go.”
“They’re butt hurt,” I told her.
“What?” She started to look up, but I wouldn’t let her. I liked her weight against me.
“Maybe they don’t like you, but they don’t like the fact you’re leaving either. It’s an insult to them you would leave the top after you made it in. It’s like saying they aren’t good enough for you.”
“John did make out like I was giving up something amazing to go to the NRR.”
“You kinda are.”
“No,” she intoned, absolution in her voice. “And I thought you hated the pros.”
“I do. But it’s a legitimate division. Only one of its kind. A lot of people still view it as the only division with real drivers.”
“That’s a bunch of shit.”
I smiled over her head.
“I thought I’d get some more acceptance and respect with the crossover.”
“But you haven’t.”
“Not even you think I should drive. Right after you implied my father bought my way in, you said so in GearShark.”
Well, fuck. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
She retorted, “Why, because you want to get laid tonight?”
I stiffened beneath her. “No. Because it was an asshole thing to say.”
“Yeah, it was.”
I could have said sorry, but what was the point? The words were out there. Saying I’m sorry wouldn’t make up for it. She might not admit it, but I could tell the words hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her. “You’re a good driver.”
She laughed, thought I was teasing.
“Seriously.” I squeezed her. “I’ve seen some of your races. And tonight with the Lotus.”
Her dark head lifted. I met her eyes so she could see the truth.
“You’ve watched some of my races?”
It was something I didn’t plan on telling her. But I kinda owed her after putting her down in a national magazine. “I watched some tapes, uh, last week.”
Her smile was brilliant. Made me wonder why I ever thought twice about admitting it. “You did? Thank you.”
“I’ll still smoke you, though,” I added.
She rolled her eyes. “We’ll see.”
“Does your dad know how it’s been for you in the pros? The reason you want to cross over is because you hate it?”
She ceased breathing for a long moment, like she was stunned I laid it out like that. Stunned I picked up on the fact she didn’t like the pros. Josie loved driving; that much was crystal clear.
But the pro division?
It was squashing her. I had a feeling if I’d met her years ago, before she’d signed, I would have met a completely different woman.
Josie was feisty and stubborn by nature. She was also jaded; that came from life.
I was surprised when she didn’t deny it. I thought she’d argue and tell me I was wrong.
She didn’t.
“Not completely.”
“Does anyone know? Hopper?” I pressed.
“No.”
I could feel her holding something back. Like it was right there and she wanted to dump it all out, but she didn’t.
Even though Josie hadn’t said everything, she’d still told me a lot. I didn’t think I quite realized how weighed down she was. How tired. I wanted to scoop her up and protect her. But she wasn’t that kind.
In a way, it was good because shielding people was also tiresome. “I know what it’s like to always be the strong one, too, to bear responsibility and never say too much.” She might not want my protection, but some understanding might go a long way.
“Tell me about it.” Her voice was soft, and she pushed her face closer into my neck. The soft strands of her hair caressed my skin.
I glanced down, trying not to be so affected by her. By our exchange of words.
Talking felt more intimate somehow, more so than sex. Because baring your body in front of someone was a lot less scary that baring your innermost thoughts.
Her legs were covered in goose bumps. So were her arms.
“Josie, are you cold?” My voice was harsh.
“It’s a little chilly just sitting,” she said. “No big deal.”
I made a noise and pushed her away from my body. She scrambled up. I pushed to my feet, crowding her in the narrow space between the rows. Swiftly, I yanked off the cotton jacket I was wearing.
Already, she was shaking her head.
“Sit down,” I ordered, patting my lap again. Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you sass me, woman.”
She sat down, resuming the same position she’d been in just seconds ago. I draped the jacket over her side and part of her legs.
Her silent sigh went unheard, but it brushed over my neck when her face pushed close.
“I lied earlier,” I said. “When I said no one asked about us. Someone did.”
“Who?”
“My father.”
“I’ve always gotten the impression you don’t have much of a relationship with him.”
“I don’t.” My voice was clipped, and it was work to unhinge my suddenly tense jaw to explain further. “He never liked my interest in cars or that I street raced. It didn’t fit in his business world.”
“I’m sure that went over well,” she said knowingly.
I smiled to myself. “Pretty much. I did what I wanted anyway. We settled into a tolerable relationship, and he bailed me out of trouble a few times.”
“Like criminal trouble?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ve done some shit I probably should have done jail time for.”
“What kind of shit?” she asked, looking up.
“Illegal betting, fighting…”
“I don’t think you can go to jail for fighting.” She pointed out.
“When you almost kill some people, you can.”
I watched her eyes widen. I measured her reaction to my words. I’d never told anyone that before, that I’d beat someone almost to death. It was a sworn secret between my father and me and only those involved. Everyone was paid to shut the hell up about it. I wasn’t even sure how much Arrow knew.
“Did they deserve it?” she asked softly, still staring unflinchingly in my eyes.
“Oh yeah.”
She nodded once. “Okay.” Then she tucked her head back into my neck.
I wasn’t shocked very often, but I was just then. My body went slack, all my energy going to process her reaction. Even the arm holding her fell away.
Such easy acceptance.
No fear.
Not even when I outright admitted to being violent. Granted, it was provoked.
“Jace,” she whispered.
Both my arms tucked around her. My head turned enough so I could rest my chin on her head as I gazed out over the empty track. Down below, my car was a bright spot, the white paint standing out in the night like a neon sign.
“A couple years ago, my dad did some things, said some shit that ruined our tolerable relationship.”
“Did it have to do with Arrow?”
I paused. “You know he’s gay?”
“Is it a secret?”
“Not really,” I murmured. But it wasn’t something we announced.
“Hopper asked about him, you know,” she mused, interest in her tone.
My attention zeroed in. “What the hell for?”
“Maybe he’s interested.”
Uh, what? “Hopper is gay?”
“Yeah,” she answered.
“He’s too old,” I announced. He could forget it right now, and he could also never look at my brother again.
Josie burst out laughing. “Old!”
I made a sound.
“He’s twenty-six.”
“Arrow is twenty,” I replied, tight.
“Age is just a number…” she mused.
“No,” I barked.
She just giggled. “Testy.”
“My brother’s been through a lot of shit.” My voice was hard. “My father only made it worse. He’s damaged now. I won’t stand around and watch him get hurt again.”
“Ahhh,” she said, knowingly.
Her tone annoyed me. “What?”
“The people you almost killed… Did that have to do with your brother?”
“Yeah,” I said, not wanting to say anymore. It’s not really something I liked to think about. In fact, some nights it haunted me in my dreams.
I might have almost killed some guys, but I was no killer. That experience would be something I would never forget.
“Sometimes I wonder if my father had let me go to jail, if I would feel—” My lips slammed shut. I hadn’t realized I was speaking out loud.
“Less guilty?” she asked, soft.
I nodded.
“Look, I don’t know what happened. I could probably guess, but I won’t.”
“You wouldn’t be right. Someone as light as you could never imagine something so fucked up.”
She paused, sat up, and looked me in the eye. It wasn’t hard because when she sat straight, our eyes were level.
“I’m not so light.”
Oh, Josie. What the fuck have they done to you? I brushed my hand over her hair. “To me you are.”
“We walk around a lot of stuff, don’t we?” she asked, her mouth turned up slightly.
“Sometimes you don’t have to come right out and say everything to understand,” I murmured.
“Your father asked about us?” she asked.
I nodded. “He summoned me to his towering offices, and there was our magazine on his desk,” I explained. “I didn’t even know it was out.”
“I don’t know how they got it out so quickly,” she mused. “I looked up in Target one day, and there it was.”
“Did you buy it?” I teased.
She blushed.
It made something inside me feel warm.
“He thought we were dating,” I said of my father.
“I think everyone assumes that.”
I shrugged. It didn’t bother me. In fact, I was glad. Having someone like Josie at my side could never be considered anything but a blessing.
“I think it was the first time he was happy with one of my decisions,” I mused.
She laughed. “Then you told him we weren’t together.”
“I told him I was working on it.”
She pulled back, surprise written on her features.
I winked.
“He told me he was proud of me,” I admitted quietly. The words felt like a heavy weight. “I don’t remember him ever saying that to me before.”
Her hand came to rest on my jaw, lightly rubbing over my stubble.
“It made me suspicious, you know?”
She nodded. “Like he wants something.”
I nodded. That was exactly it. “He says he wants to make amends and he’s sorry for being a shitty father. He claims he checked out when my mom died…”
“Your mom died?”
“When I was six.”
She snuggled back into my chest. This time her arm came up to loop around my neck. It was sort of odd to be comforted. No one had ever comforted me before.
It was kinda nice.
So I picked up her hand, kissed the palm, then laid it back around my neck.
“Arrow’s mom raised me really. She’s a good woman; she was good to me. But it was never the same.”
“Can you forgive him?” she asked, cutting right to the heart of things.
I’d asked myself that a hundred times since I saw him.
“For being a shit father to me? Yeah, I guess. But what he did to Arrow… that I can never forgive.”
Her arm tightened around me. “Maybe someday you’ll tell me about it.”
“Someday, I will.” I promised. But not right now. Right now I felt like I’d laid out so much I had to keep something in reserve.
Just like maybe someday she’d tell me what kind of hazing she’d gone through.
“What does Arrow say?” she asked.
“I, uh, haven’t talked to him about it. I’ve been avoiding it.”
“You protect him,” she said simply.
“He fights against it. He wants to stand on his own.”
“He’s strong.”
I agreed. “Way stronger than he looks.”
“You love him,” she whispered.
I whispered back, “Yeah, I do.”
“You’re a good man, Jace.”
“Sometimes.”
“All the time.”
“Don’t be telling people that. I got a rep to protect.”
She kissed the side of my neck. The giggle that escaped her caressed my skin. I patted the side of her ass. “Up,” I commanded.
Josie unfolded from my lap, and the jacket slid off her toward the ground. I caught it and stood, wrapping it around her shoulders and tucking it close.
“Let’s go.” I took her hand and led her down the stands so we could jump back over the wall. “You wanna drive back to the hotel?” I asked.
She smiled. “Not this time.”
Slightly perplexed, I grabbed the hard top and installed it back on the Lotus. It was late now, and the air was much colder than when we arrived.
“Thanks for bringing me here,” Josie said when I was shut in the driver’s side.
I hit the start button and turned to face her. “You want some food?”
Her mouth twisted. “I’m actually kinda starving.”
“You like tacos?”
“Are there people who don’t?”
“Fuck if I know.” I shrugged. “I’ll hit a drive-thru on the way to the hotel.”
“How long until we get there?” she asked, her voice dipping.
“Baby, I can be there in five if you’re that starving,” I drawled and put the car in first gear.
“Maybe take the longer route.” Her hand reached across the center and brushed across the front of my jeans.
For the first time in my entire life, the car stalled out on me.
“Josie,”
Her fingers found the button and popped it open. Slowly, my zipper came down. My hips slid out farther so she had better access.
“You’re supposed to be driving, Jace,” she said, turning in the seat so she could lean across. My dick slid out with the help of her hand; the waistband of my boxers were pulled down with the other.
Her hand slid up my shaft. It was growing harder by the second.
The engine fired right back up, and I eased the car forward. “Maybe I’ll just take a lap before pulling out on the main road,” I rasped, feeling her hand squeezing gently around my head.
“Whatever you say, Jace,” she purred.
I loved it when she said my name.
Her mouth slid down over my dick, and I moaned. Beneath my hands, the wheel jerked. God, her mouth was everything. Hot, tight, wet. Her lips wrapped around my shaft with the perfect amount of pressure and worked, slipping up and down.
All at once, she sank even farther, taking all of me. The tip of my head hit the back of her throat, and she moaned. My foot tamped down on the gas with excitement as her mouth released me.
My hand gripped the wheel; my other buried in the back of her head and pushed down so she could take me deep once again. My tires raced over the track while she sucked my dick until I was panting in need.
I was throbbing, desperate for release. I hadn’t had sex since the night in the hangar, but I craved her every day. Josie wrapped her lips around the tip of my head and sucked deep. I felt myself jerk inside her, and I groaned. The car swerved, but it didn’t matter because there was no one else on the track.
Regretfully, the sudden movement made her release me and look up. “Time to turn around,” she said.
I focused ahead, and the gravel section was coming into view.
I grabbed the emergency brake, pulled it, and then drifted around in a wide circle. She laughed, and I pushed her head back down to my center.
Her tongue teased me, licking up the sides, flirting with the head, until finally she plunged back over it.
“Don’t stop, Josie.” I urged.
She didn’t. She sucked me until I almost hurt. Until I slammed on the brakes and brought us to a full-on stop. The second the Lotus was no longer in motion, she took me deep one final time and sucked.
I bucked up in the seat, but she stayed with me, sucking me dry as I shot off a load across her perfect tongue.
I moaned and shouted as I came, white lights bursting behind my eyes until I fell back into the seat, spent.
Josie was still sucking, still lapping up every last bit of me. Before pulling away completely, she gave my cock one last thorough swipe with her tongue, and I shuddered.
I glanced at her face through half-closed eyes when she pulled back, licking her lips.
“Blow and drive,” I muttered. “Sex and cars. You just combined my two favorite things.”
“I still want tacos,” she said. “And I want all night like you promised.”
I chuckled and buttoned up my pants.
A fast car, a blow job, and now sex and tacos?
Best night ever.