Slowly, from out of the darkness, came moments of light. As the season changed, becoming warmer, Josh felt himself beginning to echo the strengthening light. The change was partly a result of the fact that he spent a great deal of time now in the presence of another person, who just so happened to be Blake. Where before he had spent all his time in his home, stagnating, now he was off all across the city on pointless adventures. Blake always had something to do, even if that thing was simply taking a walk and smoking.

Josh tagged along on those walks with a great deal of healthy skepticism at first, but by the third time he was in love with wandering. There was no telling where he was going to end up. Most of the time, he saw only the same things but then the joy came from his idle thoughts, shifting with silver and neon, threaded through with the deep background hum of voices and cars. However, they sometimes encountered strange shops, or construction sites, and other interesting glimpses that lingered most strongly in the memory whenever he thought back on them. Their walks together passed mostly without conversation but were as intimate as their deep pillow talks. They were two wolves exploring their environment, touching occasionally, sharing glances, but mostly just feeling the world and experiencing the wind on their faces as spring trundled out of hiding from behind the snow banks.

Another benefit to their constant, long walks was that it helped restore some of his muscle definition. After a few weeks, he felt strong enough that they could head to the gym together, but most of the time, they chose to walk instead. Besides, after they were discovered making out in the showers at two separate gyms, word traveled around and other establishments were reluctant to let them in.

However, not all the changes could be put down to Blake’s presence. Through all of his past relationships, Josh had become wary of depending entirely upon other people for his satisfaction. While he now knew this wariness was unfounded and many—though not all—of the problems hinged on him, it was nonetheless an important skill to have to be able to take a step back and realize a person had to be responsible for themselves. While yes, it was the well and Blake which put this into motion, the time for those things had passed and he needed to put himself in motion now. If he didn’t, he would surely be bogged down again.

Some days, that was easier than others. Some days, he woke up feeling as if he had been rained on all night and was now so sodden with dread and doubt that he could barely get out of bed.

Other days, waking was easier and he got out of bed ready to face the day. Most of the time, he woke up in Blake’s bed, or in his own bed with Blake at his side, but that made little difference. A routine emerged.

He woke up, ate breakfast, showered, went for a walk, and then he would settle in to bake.

The baking emerged tentatively as the first few days passed. They had just gone shopping for the first time together, with separate carts to fill their pantries even though they probably could have planned to combine their groceries into one place, when Blake started to head down the bread aisle.

“What are you doing?” Josh had asked. He planted his hands on his hips as Blake turned to face him, leaving his cart angled across the middle of the row so that a family of four had to squeeze past him. The parents glared at him but seemed to sense they would lose a staring contest if he turned his attention on them, so scurried onward around the corner at twice their previous speed.

Blake raised his eyebrows. He had very handsome eyebrows, Josh noticed right then, leading up to a wide expanse of exposed forehead, then up to his well-oiled hair. “I’m buying some bread. Why? You got a problem with that?”

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s a waste of money. No nutrition at all. Might as well be eating air.”

“Well, I don’t see you baking me any bread, so I have to buy it.”

A tremor of uncertainty rocked through Josh’s stomach as he recognized this for what it was. He was being challenged but in such a sideways sort of way that he could ignore it if he wished. The choice was his to make. Blake looked at him and shrugged, turning back to the aisle to walk down it.

Later that night, lying in bed, Josh realized that Blake had moved very slow and deliberately in that moment. That gave him time to think and overthink, to force his hand overwhelmingly in one direction. In the store, he didn’t have the luxury of examining what was going on in such detail.

“Wait!” burst out of his mouth before he knew what he was doing. “Wait, no. Don’t. I’ll bake you some bread.”

Blake didn’t look at him, instead continuing to mosey on towards the loaves of bread. “I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you. After all, you’re not a baker, are you?”

Josh swatted Blake’s back, making the alpha wolf stop and laugh. He found himself often lightly hitting the other man, which had once led into a discussion about why he did this. They eventually figured out this was his way of expressing a sudden burst of emotion, one which he had adopted only recently because he only now felt comfortable enough showing. “You’re a jerk.”

“Your jerk.”

That was the closest they ever came to calling themselves a couple. It sufficed, as they belonged to each other and no other.

They backtracked through the rest of the store, picking up necessary ingredients for baking. Josh could have simply dipped into what remained of his supply but some remnant of his past forced him to do this right. A baker never had anything less than the best. And while he was shopping, something strange happened. He could feel some dormant part of his thoughts begin to awaken, stirring around in the back of his head. Opportunities made themselves known. Berries on sale begged to be bought. A bag of sunflower seeds clamored for his attention. Zucchini, though small and mealy because they were out of season, nevertheless caught his eye.

He emerged as if in a daze with far more things than he needed. Blake didn’t comment on any of it, perhaps knowing he might break whatever spell had come over him.

That night, as Blake lounged in Josh’s living room—and the sight of an alpha ruffian lazing around on his parents’ furniture was enough to give him vertigo—he baked a very simple, beginner-level loaf of bread. Something went wrong during the process and the bread shriveled up as it cooled, turning from a perfect rectangle of white bread into a wrinkled lump that more resembled a piece of wood. He stood over it, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Both seemed to him to be equally good options.

Sensing something was wrong through their growing mental connection, Blake got up off the couch where he had been watching TV. Springs groaned with relief as his bulk lifted from them. He came into the kitchen behind Josh and stood behind him with one arm around his waist, looking at the failure of a loaf of bread.

“Well, that sucks,” he said.

And it was that reaction which made Josh decide he should laugh, because Blake always spoke his mind no matter the consequences and he had come to admire such a forefront attitude.

They tasted the bread anyway and decided that, though it was a bit dense, it was serviceable, and they had toast for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch until the loaf was gone.

And Josh baked another simple loaf. This time, it came out perfect and tasted like heaven, exactly as a loaf of bread should. It could be eaten in straight slices with nothing else on it and be just as fulfilling.

Josh blossomed.

It happened overnight. They went to bed together after a dessert of bread, and he awoke in the morning with a nagging itch to satisfy. He had a pantry full of ingredients which were going to go to waste if he didn’t use them, so he used them. By the end of the week, the freezer was shoved full to brimming with zucchini bread, seed-studded wheat rolls, mixed berry scones, and everything else he could think of.

There had been a brief pause, during which he receded into a small sort of depression, doubting everything and everyone. He was wrong. Blake was wrong. Ryan had been wrong. The world was wrong. He stayed in his room, foregoing the walks he’d come to love.

He came out of it baking, though with more purpose than before. As the days passed, he brought out old recipes that were once as familiar to him as the back of his hand, and he tested them to see if he still had the knack for it.

He did, each time.

As a very large alpha and a recovering omega, they ate quite a bit. What they couldn’t manage to eat went into one of their freezers, and other items were passed out to the neighbors.

“I gotta say,” Mr. Henrich said as Josh knocked on his door with a batch of cookies, “it’s damn nice to see you at work again.”

He thanked the man, then went home and cried. There were a lot of reasons to cry, and he made sure to sob all of them out against Blake’s shoulder while the alpha held him with awkward tenderness. He cried for the memory of his parents, which he hadn’t been preserving but had instead been allowing to stagnate just like he had. He cried for the house, which had once been so full of love. He cried over the fact that he had stuck the figurine of the smoking wolf on one of the shelves near the back corner, and he wasn’t sure whether he liked it or not. He cried for himself, for having let himself go, and for now rediscovering himself. And he cried about the realization that other people noticed his depression and were glad to see him back at it.

Once he stopped crying, he baked cupcakes. He had forgotten to buy ingredients to make frosting, so they ended up being eaten plain and were just fine anyway.

The routine which emerged was what really allowed him to climb out of the darkness, giving him purpose. If he found himself starting to lag, he could think over what was next on his list and usually get moving again. While he could have done the same thing before, it all seemed a little easier now. His mind had changed. He was healing.

In two months, he’d accomplished more than he had in two years.

Then the day came when there was a knock at the door. The knock came incredibly early in the morning, barely past 6 a.m. He and Blake had gone to bed only a few hours before because they stayed up well into the night tasting pies and making fun of TV show contestants.

“Ugh,” Blake grunted and rolled over, turning his back on Josh to pull the blankets up over his ears. “Stupid religious nuts.”

Josh peered blurrily at the wide expanse of Blake’s bare back. A dull thrill of heat went through his tired body as he saw the faded red scratches he’d left there during their sex last night. He thought he could see them fading even now, healing before his very eyes. “How do you know who it is?”

“Isn’t it always them?”

He didn’t consider himself religious but he didn’t exactly condemn people for their beliefs. He supposed Blake couldn’t say the same, having probably been approached many times by people of various faiths, all of them trying to get him back on the path of righteousness from which he had strayed so far. With his leather jacket, foul mouth, and cigarettes, he probably looked like the devil to them. Constant bombardment like that could really change a person’s perspective.

“They’ll just go away when we don’t answer,” Blake muttered. “Go back to sleep.”

Josh had done no more than close his eyes again when the knock repeated, polite but insistent. Clearly whoever was at the door was determined to be heard.

They’ll go away soon, surely. He kept his eyes closed, feeling the weight of sleep sealing his lids together.

The knock didn’t come again. Instead, the person at the door now rang the bell. The chime was incredibly loud, as such things often were, and especially so in this large house where it might need to be heard in even the remotest of rooms. Josh clamped his hands to his ears and sat up. “Holy shit.”

Blake moaned in pain. He rolled over a little to look up at Josh, distress visible on every line of his face. He was no morning person, not by a long shot. “You need to go answer the door because, if I do it, I’m going to kill someone.”

Wincing, Josh wished Blake hadn’t said that. He still woke up from nightmares more often than not, though the frequency which they came had diminished slightly as the weeks passed. The police had never come to speak with either of them and the death of a random person in one of Portsmouth’s many parks made very little stir in the grand scheme of things. It didn’t even make it into the newspaper despite the grisly nature of the death.

True to his word, Josh had gone to a random gas station and used their phone to put in an anonymous tip. A couple days after that, he was visited by his pack leader, Ryan, who had somehow figured out he was involved, though he wouldn’t say through what method he discovered this information. Josh told him, and Ryan seemed satisfied enough that a member of his pack hadn’t gone on a crazy murdering spree. He did warn Josh about getting involved with Blake, but everyone did that. People saw a leather jacket and assumed the wearer was Satan, or something.

Luckily, Blake seemed not to even realize what he said because he was already halfway to snoring. Compared to the way he’d been so jumpy lately, it was a nice turn of events. Smiling a little, Josh left him as he was and went out into the hallway.

Just as he was about to reach the end of it, he realized he wasn’t exactly dressed presentably. He had on his white wife-beater, but it was a very old one that had stretched out, becoming almost like a dress. The fabric wasn’t even really white anymore, having taken on a grayish tinge. Beneath the wide armholes, there were yellowish stains. He had on his boxers, which he supposed might have passed for shorts if the situation was dire enough. That was all.

“Good,” he muttered softly to himself. “Maybe that’ll scare them away.”

He crossed the foyer and pulled the door open just as whoever was behind it started to reach out for the doorbell again. He saw their hand from behind the strips of glass window on either side of the door, pudgy and freckled and pale.

“Hi,” he said, opening the door. “What can I do...oh!”

For a moment, delight surged through him. Then delight faded away and became something very close to horror as he recalled once again how he was dressed.

On his porch were two people. One of them was very large and old, sitting in a wheelchair with a wide smile on her face. The other was a man in his mid-30s, wearing an embarrassed frown. His eyes were quite gray, like storm clouds, and he had a modest haircut. While not particularly tall, the man seemed to have a great deal of wiry muscles beneath the baggy scrubs he wore. In short, he was not a very impressive specimen—though Josh had to admit to himself he might be biased because he already had someone who demanded all his admiration and attention—but Josh noticed him a great deal all the same, mainly because the man was a wolf. A loner by the smell of him, which lacked a pack identity.

Lone omegas were pretty rare. Omegas with no ties to anyone else in the shifter world were often taken advantage of. Josh wanted to ask him about what led him to make such a decision as to be alone when a pudgy hand tugging on his arm caught his attention first.

The woman smiled up at him like she knew him, her eyes very bright despite the cataract haze. “Do you remember me?” she asked. “I think I remember you!”

I have a hard time remembering things from when I was all foggy, he thought. Memories during that time were blurry, some more than others, as if he’d been living in a haze.

Then it clicked. She did look familiar and now he placed her.

She was the woman Nancy, the one who harassed her nurse into making her stop the car on the way to a doctor’s appointment so they could look at what Josh was selling. He remembered her comments, which had spurred him on to talk to Ryan about his issues, which led him to the well. The beginning of his adventure started with her.

He smiled at her, genuine warmth glowing in his stomach. “I do! You’re Nancy!”

“And you’re the nice young man. Are your parents home this time? I had Brandon bring me out here as early as possible, but then I couldn’t quite remember where you lived, and you didn’t have your table out. We had to make a few guesses. But then we found you!”

Brandon looked even more embarrassed. He probably hadn’t enjoyed carting his charge around to all those different homes, disturbing them for no reason whatsoever.

Josh glanced at him, just a flick of his eyes, wanting to let him know it was okay. Then he focused on Nancy. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but you just missed them. They’re real busy people, you know. Bakers always are. You have to get up even before the sun if you want to have enough pie to satisfy all the hungry customers.”

Nancy nodded as if she understood, gray and white hair bouncing around her wide face. Hell, for all Josh knew, she did understand. “Do you know when you’ll set up your tables again?” she asked. “I’d love to buy from you again.”

He hesitated. He hadn’t really thought about doing that again, mainly because it would cut down on a lot of the time he spent with Blake. Still, she was here now and the freezer was full and the fridge was overflowing, so what would it hurt?

“Stay right here,” he said, then turned and hurried towards the kitchen.

Nancy murmured, “Oh my...” in an appreciative little tone. That puzzled him until he remembered he was still only wearing his boxers and wife beater, which meant the movement of his butt cheeks with his legs was going to be quite pronounced.

He blushed. Clearly, his state of undress wasn’t going to help Brandon feel any less embarrassed.

A detour to the laundry room provided him with a robe, which he tied around himself before finally heading to the kitchen and the freezer. What had Nancy bought last time? Peach pie and a loaf of bread?

He picked out one of each from his stores in the freezer and then hurried back to the front door with the frozen goods burning his fingers with their cold. “Here,” he said, placing both the pie and bread in Nancy’s ample lap. “Free of charge. We’ve got a surplus.”

“Oh, dear! Are you certain you won’t get in trouble for this?”

Josh blinked back tears. They went easily, unlike before. “I’m sure. We value you. Please, make sure you come again so I can see more of my most favorite customer?”

“Oh!” Nancy said, holding broad hands over her struggling heart. “Oh, my! I certainly will! Won’t I, Brandon?”

Brandon, who was looking in considerable better spirits now that he wasn’t having to stare at a near-naked man, gave an agreeable nod. “You sure will.”

Nancy seemed to lose herself for a moment, checking out her presents. Josh looked at Brandon and tilted his head. “What happened to Jennifer?”

Brandon raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t able to do it quite as perfectly as Blake could. “Who?”

“The...”

Nurse? Keeper?

“...woman who was with her last time.”

Brandon’s stormy eyes lightened a fraction as realization broke through the clouds. “Ah. She just got promoted. I’m Nancy’s chauffeur now, aren’t I, Nancy?”

The old woman murmured happy agreement. She looked as if she was already devouring the pie in her mind.

“Thank you,” Brandon said, a little softer than he’d been speaking. “This is really going to make her happy for the rest of the day.”

“It’s no problem.”

They bid each other farewell for a few minutes until Nancy was finally ready to head out. Josh watched them go, then shut the door and turned around.

Blake stood right behind him, looking as exhausted as it was possible for a man to look. “You gave away my pie?” he said.

Josh laughed. “Sorry. She deserved it more than you did. It’s the same reason you’re supposed to give up your seat for old people on the bus and everything.”

“Hmm.” Blake yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Well, I’m awake now. What are we going to do today, babe?”

The word seemed to slip out unbidden, as if it had been waiting for the right moment to emerge, simply biding its time. They both pretended not to notice it, though it made Josh tremble on the inside. He’d never been someone’s babe before.

“I guess we could have an early breakfast,” he suggested. “A serious nap is called for later on, though.”

Blake shrugged. “Fine by me. I’ll make the coffee.”

“I’ll make the pancakes.” And by “make” he meant warm them up in the microwave, because he already had at least three batches waiting in the fridge.

They ate, then showered together. Nothing overtly sexual happened between them, though they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves and had to constantly help the other with his scrubbing. Soap and water made their skin slick, and they slid all over each other like two wolves tromping through a stream.

Showers done, Josh found himself in the garage, staring at the equipment he hadn’t used in weeks. Folding tables and lawn chair, they were gathering a thick layer of dust.

Blake came out into the garage, shutting the door behind him with a massive thump. The alpha never really did anything quietly, which was often amusing. However, this time Josh couldn’t quite bring himself to echo that attitude just yet. Despite all the healing he’d done, he would rather tiptoe around most larger issues just to keep the peace.

“What are you doing?” Blake growled.

Josh gestured to the tables with one hand, knowing it wouldn’t really explain but feeling as if he didn’t want to say the words and risk making a decision yet. Some things were just like that. In thought, a statement could be neutral but speaking it inevitably added some sort of opinion because no voice could ever be truly blank.

“Yes, I see the tables,” Blake said dryly. “What are you going to do with them?”

“Nothing yet,” he said quickly, trying to chase away any other words he might say. “I’m just thinking.”

“About?” Blake spun him around lightly with one hand firmly on his hip. The alpha lowered his head, gazing deep into Josh’s eyes while they kissed. The kiss normally would have been a pleasant distraction, but Josh’s thoughts were racing and he wasn’t going to have it right now. An exasperated spark appeared in Blake’s intense gaze. “What’s this about? Did that old lady say some shit to you?”

“No! And I hope she comes back!” he blurted out. It was true he had a fondness for Nancy. She was endearing and charming in her own way, like a child rather than an adult in the way she cut right to the core of the matter so simply. Adults tended to complicate things, just like he was doing right now. “I told you that I used to set up tables out in the yard and sell what I baked. The old lady was looking for me and couldn’t find me because I didn’t have my tables set up.” He paused, but Blake wasn’t satisfied by this brief summary because he could tell there was still more to come. “And I’m thinking about setting them up.”

Blake shrugged. “So, set them up. It’s not like we don’t have enough to put out there.”

We.

There it was again. Despite the casual manner in which they were handling their relationship, they were a “we.” An “us.” A couple. At this point, they probably could have moved in together. Their dynamic certainly seemed to call for it. However, that would mean Blake had to leave his pack, and Josh would need to introduce Blake to his own extended family. He foresaw a lot of problems with that, especially where Ryan was involved. Wolves in general didn’t keep their mouths shut, and gathering large amounts of them in one place was asking for disagreements and scuffles, no matter how even-tempered the group. That was just wolf nature. Things were never static. There always had to be some form of give and take; in fact, that might have been another contributor to his long depression.

For now, it was simpler to just keep things the way they were. That had its problems too though, as Josh had discovered. The thought of letting this new, better part of his life go sour from sitting too long made it very hard to breathe.

Josh pulled himself back to the present and shook his head as soon as he could recall what the last statement in their conversation had been. “No. We’ve got a bunch of frozen stuff. Frozen is fine because you can thaw it real nice, but if you aren’t going to eat it immediately, it’s kind of nasty. I can’t sell that. And I’m not inviting random strangers into my home to ransack my fridge.”

Blake flashed a crooked little grin. “But here I am.”

Josh went to swat him, smiling. Blake intercepted him, his hand slashing through the air so fast it was barely visible. The alpha snatched his wrist and held it firmly but gently in his grasp, his fingers able to wrap all the way around it. He lifted his captured prey and kissed Josh’s fingertips, then slipped the end of one in his mouth to nibble on it.

A tight thrill went through his body, surprisingly sharp, making him gasp. He tried to pull away but found himself still snared by the gentle grip of teeth. “No fair,” he whispered. His other arm felt limp and useless, dangling down by his side. He couldn’t have moved it if he tried, even if he wanted to.

Grinning at him, Blake slid his finger deeper into his mouth and sucked on it in long, deep pulls that soon had Josh squirming where he stood. Blake withdrew the finger and then licked down its length, growling deeply. He licked Josh’s palm, then caressed the veins in his wrist with his tongue.

Josh’s groin tensed up, and he felt his dick start to make its presence known, nudging around in his jeans for the source of the pleasure it was feeling. He tried to twist out of Blake’s grasp and was startled when the alpha actually let him go. The floor of the garage rushed up to meet him, cold and gray.

He shapeshifted as he fell, landing gently on all four paws in his wolf form. He looked up defiantly at Blake, who was still human, and waved his tail around in the air in a display of dominance.

Blake growled and leaped for him, turning into a wolf on the way down. He pulled his jump at the last second so he landed just short of Josh, skidding forward then to knock into him. They went tumbling across the garage floor, pawing at each other, playfully nipping at scraps of fur in places where there was no chance of accidentally causing any harm.

Wriggling around, Josh bounced up from their tangle of limbs and pranced over to the other side of the garage while the slower alpha was just barely registering that his prey had escaped. He was about to crouch down and brace for a leap to land on Blake’s back when he saw something in his peripheral vision that demanded his attention. His wolf mind registered it before his human mind did, instinct telling him to turn to see if this might be a threat.

The wolf in him didn’t like what he saw because it couldn’t understand it, making him feel wary even though he knew there was no threat.

He was looking at a full-length mirror which had once hung on the back of the master bathroom door, before his parents got tired of the weight keeping the door from shutting all the way. As much as they loved each other, sometimes privacy was a must. They placed it here, covered it with a tarp, and he had forgotten all about it.

Now, the tarp had slid off about halfway, enough for him to see most of his reflection from this angle. He didn’t exactly know why the tarp had slid, whether it was simple gravity or a result of the garage being shaken around by one of the recent spring storms, but it had.

He was the kind of person who used mirrors for their intended function, relying on them for one purpose or another. He didn’t stare at himself while brushing his teeth, nor did he stop at every mirror he saw so that he could preen. He used them to see the parts of himself that he couldn’t when just using his eyes alone. That habit had grown during the past couple of years, which meant he didn’t look at himself unless he absolutely had to. Encounters with his reflection were brief and polite.

But now he looked at himself and saw that he no longer had anything to be ashamed of. His muscles had returned and he might even consider himself stronger than when this all started. He had filled out in general, with a healthy layer of flesh over the muscle to soften his appearance. Thick, glossy pale brown fur covered his lupine body, turning to cream around his face and stomach. His nose was a healthy pink, dry without looking cracked or flaky.

But the real difference was in his eyes. He stared into the golden moons he possessed and saw bright spirit within them. He looked alive.

He felt alive.

Suddenly, a huge gray-russet blur filled the empty space behind him, and he whirled around just in time to have Blake crash into him again. They both went sprawling once more.

Josh wrapped his furry forelegs around Blake’s neck, making the alpha drag him around while he nipped at his chin. Eventually Blake shook him off and just held him at bay with one paw, looking bored. Josh yapped out his frustration. In answer, Blake knocked him over and held him down. This time, no amount of wriggling could free him.

He glared up at Blake’s broad, handsome face, with its pink tongue and wolfish grin. “Enough,” he said. The effort of speaking left him breathless, so he went limp and lay there with just enough of Blake’s weight on him to prevent him from going anywhere. “Let go!”

Blake lifted one paw which held him down. Josh pushed at the other and slid free. He sat up and curled his tail daintily over his front paws, then twisted his head around over his shoulder to lick a wild patch of fur back into place. The mirror caught his attention again and he stared at it, marveling at the difference in himself. After a moment, Blake trotted over and sat beside him, licking him between the ears. Josh leaned against Blake, pushing his muzzle against sweet-smelling fur. He could have just sat there forever, looking at the both of them. Dark and light, they made two halves of a whole.

But such moments could never last, otherwise they just wouldn’t be precious enough. Eventually, Josh straightened up and turned back into a human.

Blake growled at him, looking moody that their fun had come to an end, but changed back as well anyway. “Just because you’re a wuss...”

“I’m not a wuss!” Josh scowled.

Blake stood up and brushed off his jeans and leather jacket with careful, fussy strokes. His hand slid inside to the inner pocket but he didn’t take out his cigarettes. While Josh didn’t exactly mind smoking as long as the smoker in question picked up after themselves, Blake had proven himself to be more polite than 90% of the population by not smoking inside. “Then prove it. Only a wuss would back out on this.”

“You mean...oh. The baking.”

“Yeah.” Blake withdrew his hand from his pocket, seeming satisfied. He seemed mostly unaware of the habit he had of checking on the cigarettes even when he wasn’t about to smoke one, needing the reassurance that they were there if he needed them. “You know you want to. And you know you need to. So why not?”

“I will,” Josh said. “I’ll do it.”

He knew it was what he needed to do but at the same time, he was doubting himself, starting to look too deeply and second guess himself. He trembled on the edge of a precipice, not sure which way he would fall. One direction led to success and the other was a slippery slope into madness. Though he could clearly tell which was which, one was nevertheless so much easier than the other.

Blake was speaking, words reaching him faintly through the fog. “I’ll be out there with you, you know.”

Josh looked up, heart trembling. “You will?” he breathed. “But...it’ll be boring. We’ll just be sitting out there and...”

Blake touched his lips, then leaned down and kissed him. “I’ll be there. You might not get many customers because they’ll all be terrified of me, but I’ll be there. It’s not like I have a job or anything else taking up my time.”

Josh returned the kiss and felt a little better, though he still felt pretty damn nervous, too. His stomach felt tender, full of unpleasant tingling as his nerves tried to get the better of him. To try and hide it, he crossed his arms over his chest and put on a skeptical face. It was the same sort of face his father wore that one time he discovered someone in the supply pantry at the bakery, who claimed they were only looking for the bathroom. He must not have been very good at it because Blake laughed. “You said you were going to at least try to get a job.”

Some of the laughter faded, though now Blake’s eyes danced with mischief. Josh liked the look on him and wished it would never fade, wished they could harmlessly tease each other until the sun set on the final days of humanity. He wished they could be all the things they were afraid to say.

“My parents got in touch with me. They said they felt bad that they cut me off and they were willing to pay half my rent each month as long as I kept my nose clean.” Blake grimaced a little. Josh knew what he was thinking and made another wish, silently asking the forces of the universe to rid the man he liked very much of the nightmares which haunted him. “So, I agreed.”

“What about the rest of your rent? Robbing gas station cash registers pays that well?”

Blake growled at him. “Funny. No, you’d be surprised to learn that I spend all my free time with you now. When I’m not with you, I’m working. Doing odd things for the landlord. Nothing illegal, so don’t give me that look, alright? Just cleaning or doing errands. He takes the time I work off my bill.”

“I don’t like that I take all your free time away.”

“Not what I said.” Blake reached out and lay one hand on Josh’s neck. He could feel Blake’s pulse pattering lightly in his veins and fingers, could detect the faint heat which ebbed and swelled with that pulse. “Look, you are my free time. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing,” he let his hand slide down to Josh’s crotch, cupping him, “than you. Okay?”

Josh let his hand wander down to Blake’s, tightening his fingers to give the alpha a better grip. His breath quickened and he started to thrust his hips...

...only to be interrupted by a soft cough that came from behind them.

Blake sprang forward, baring his fangs and pushing Josh behind him. Josh staggered backwards and then quickly regained his balance with one hand against the wall. He looked around the other wolf, who trembled on the verge of transforming. “Who are you?” Blake snapped, spraying saliva.

Josh placed his hand on the other’s shoulder, trying to tug him backwards. “Hey,” he said, “it’s okay. I know him.”

Blake turned to look at him, confused in his anger. “Who is this?” he said, slurring a little. “Who is this alpha?”

Not for the first time, he thanked the universe he had finally come to be with someone like this who wouldn’t instantly create their own story in their mind about a situation when they stumbled across it. If this had happened with one of the other people he dated, they would have assumed this intruding wolf was part of some intriguing—and perhaps dark—backstory. An ex-lover, or maybe even a secret current lover. However, Blake simply wanted to know who this was.

Josh stepped around Blake’s solid form, keeping one restraining hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay,” he said, lowering his voice. He placed himself halfway in front of Blake now too, as an added measure. Blake wouldn’t hurt him, wouldn’t shove him out of the way again. “This is Ryan. He’s my pack leader.”

Ryan narrowed his bright green eyes. “Yes, I am. Is this who I think it is, Josh?”

It was a bit of a precarious position being between two alphas, one of whom was feeling rather possessive and another who needed only a bit of provocation to go crazy. Josh stayed where he was, feet planted firmly. “This is Blake. He’s from the pack who who lives up in Magnolia Haven. Do you remember them?”

Ryan seemed to relax just a little, broad shoulders no longer so hugely tensed. The shirt he was wearing was no longer drawn so taut across his chest, which meant an expanse of hairy muscle was on display. Josh looked away, feeling a little awkward for having looked so intensely; he wanted to ask Ryan to button up his shirt, but then he noticed there were no buttons there. The alpha had either popped them off or tugged them off on purpose.

“I know of them, yes,” he said. He nodded to Blake. “It’s nice to meet you, Blake. You two seem very familiar with each other.”

Josh blushed, trying to block their view of each other. He was a bit too short however, so they continued to glare at each other over his head. “It’s not serious.”

“Hmm.” Ryan smiled. He looked honestly pleased, though Josh knew his pack leader well enough to realize not all was as it might seem. His smile was just a bit restrained, not that Josh could blame him. “That looked serious to me just now. Should I be expecting a unity soon?”

“You can expect whatever you want to,” Blake said, voice low and threatening. “But you’ll only know for sure once we tell you. Until then, it’s none of your business. Why did you sneak up on us?”

“I didn’t sneak up on you. I drive a very noisy truck.” Ryan pointed out to the driveway, where his huge truck was parked. Somehow, neither of them had heard it approach. “I’m sure your entire neighborhood heard me. I would have called but I was already out here. The Robinsons needed me to come out and settle a dispute. I think they might be about to split up.”

“What makes you think that?” Josh asked. The Robinsons were family acquaintances but he hadn’t ever really had much patience for them and their petty arguments. Really, it didn’t surprise him that the parents were on the verge of divorce but he wanted Ryan to keep going because it would give both alphas more time to relax and get used to each other’s presence.

“Well, that’s because I advised them to.” Ryan scowled, looking down at the garage floor. “Their children are mostly grown. Most of them aren’t even at home anymore. So many children.”

At least six, from what Josh remembered. There might have been more after that last count.

“It’d be best for everyone if they just split. They’d be much happier finding new mates.”

“We all appreciate all the work you do for us,” Josh said sincerely.

Blake had enough of this idle chitchat. He stepped around Josh, using his longer stride to ensure Josh couldn’t intercept him. “Why are you here?”

Ryan no longer looked pleased at all by their potential pairing. “I came to ask if you were going to attend the monthly meeting at the park.”

“What meeting? What park?” Blake pressed.

“Portsmouth City Park? What other park?” Ryan stared at Blake. Both of them had their hackles up now, thoroughly undoing what minor peace had been attained between them. “And it’s our pack meeting. We have one in the middle of each month just to share news. Everyone is invited. Not mandatory. You can come too, if you can behave.”

“I’d rather...”

“Blake!” Josh snapped.

Blake fell silent. Omega wolves weren’t usually loud or aggressive in personality, though all wolves were individual and there were no hard-and-fast rules about how one was going to act—though there were certainly expectations. When one raised their voice, others listened because there was usually a good reason for it.

“Both of you! Be nice!” Josh turned to Ryan, staring at him. He liked his leader, he did, but this was just an odd situation in general. “You’ve never personally invited me before. You know that I know when the meetings are and where. So why are you here, for real? Tell me. I deserve that much, don’t I?”

Ryan looked at him. His green eyes went through a series of subtle changes as emotions overcame him, each one appearing for only an instant before fading into the next. He was furious one heartbeat at being talked back to, then the next he was reaching for patience. Tenderness, wariness, love, exasperation; these all made their cameo before waltzing off the stage. “You really have changed,” he said.

I don’t know what that means.

Though he thought he might have some inkling.

“Fine. It was going to be a surprise, but you’ve ruined that.” Ryan scowled again, trying to look playful. “Everyone’s noticed that you’ve been feeling a lot better lately and we wanted to throw you a sort of party to celebrate your arrival back in the real world.”

He should have been flattered. He knew that. He should have been happy that his pack loved him so much. Instead, he was only angry because he knew that was still only half the truth. “I think we need to talk in private.”

Ryan’s green eyes flashed bright with surprise before settling again into their normal ferocious state. “I think we do, too. Would you excuse us, Blake?”

Blake curled his upper lip in a snarl. “No, I don’t think so. Whatever you got to say, you can say in front of me.”

“I can’t,” Ryan replied breezily, “because what I have to say isn’t for your ears. I’m sure Josh will tell you everything I’ve said as soon as I leave.”

He was torn, loyalty to his pack leader pulling him in one direction, loyalty to Blake tugging him in another. His confliction must have shown on his face because Ryan heaved a heavy sigh. “I don’t have all day to sit around and chat with the both of you. I have more wolves I have to see. Best make a decision quickly before I lose interest and call the party off.”

No!

All of a sudden, with the offer about to be taken away, Josh realized he wanted it very much. He looked desperately at Blake, who automatically softened when he faced him. “Please don’t overreact,” Josh begged him. “Please. Seriously. This isn’t a big deal. Just go in the house and when you hear Ryan’s truck leaving, you can come back out.”

Blake’s shoulders heaved, then sagged. “Fine. But only because I...” He abruptly cut off what he was about to say, then pushed past two men to exit the garage. An instant later, the screen door in the front entrance slammed shut so hard that something cracked, followed by a deeper thump as the main door shut.

“Thanks to you,” Josh said, “I’m probably going to have to replace that storm door now.”

Ryan’s mouth puckered up as if he’d just tasted something very unpleasant. “You’ll have to replace a lot of things by the time you’re done with him. I was hoping you’d move on from him.”

Josh tossed his hands in the air. So that was what this was about! “If you’ve come here to warn me that Blake’s nothing but trouble, I got the memo. Who I choose to have as my...”

Mate.

“...sleeping partner is none of your business!”

“But it is my business because you belong to me,” Ryan growled. In that moment, he didn’t look so much like a handsome man as he did an army general slowly working himself into a frenzy. He jabbed one finger at Josh’s chest, his fingertip stopping a mere inch from him; he stopped because if Blake smelled the scent of another man on Josh, he would go into full-on attack mode and no one would be able to stop him until he’d worn himself out. “You belong to a whole hell of a lot of things, whether you realize it or not.. You’re part of one system after another. Systems within systems within systems. And the very smallest one—apparently now the most insignificant one—you belong to is my pack. I can’t tell you what to do, but I damn sure will give you advice, because I’d hate to see you end up like River Robinson.”

“Fine,” Josh said, as curtly as he could. It was moments like these that gave him some deep appreciation for Blake’s anti-authority views on life.

Ryan heaved in a few deep breaths, clearly working to calm himself. “You went to the well.”

“You know I did.”

“And Blake is the man you saw?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure of that?”

He laughed. “I don’t think there’s any mistaking him, do you?”

Ryan didn’t laugh, only looked with a grimace off to the left in the direction of the front door to the house. “No. I suppose not. You could pick him out of any crowd, no matter how large. Leather tends to do that to people. Josh, I’ve been hearing rumors.”

He said nothing. He knew this already.

“Not rumors of anything specific. Just, Blake is a troublemaker and no one likes him. You’ve been seen with him out in public quite a few times, and members of our community are very worried and very confused as to why you would take up with such a person. I know you think you saw him in the well, but is there no way you can choose a different mate?”

Josh’s stomach churned a little but he shook his head. “I’m not choosing a different mate, and you can’t force me to do that. We aren’t even mates at the moment, so you’re getting ahead of yourself. And everyone is wrong about him. I mean, they’re right, but he hasn’t really done anything bad since we met!”

“You think your love has changed him? That’s bullshit, and even you know it. Guys like that don’t change.”

“I think he’s changed me,” Josh said softly.

“Yeah,” Ryan replied. “That’s obvious.”

The two men stood in uncomfortable silence, not looking at each other, but sizing each other up all the same, wondering how best to proceed now that they’d gotten themselves in this position. Josh was very, very aware of Blake’s mind pressing against his, keeping a constant watch over the situation in the hopes of detecting a threat in time to deflect it.

If only Ryan could feel this. If only he could tell what Blake’s really like. He wouldn’t be so doubtful.

Finally, the pack leader cleared his throat and took a step back. “I came here to see for myself what was going on and if I needed to address it. I don’t think I do. I think you do, though. Come to the meeting. Come to the party. We’re all so happy to have you back, to hear that you’re doing better. It’s going to be a bit of a nice event, so dress well. And bring your boyfriend. Let everyone see that he’s an ordinary guy, not a scary gangster. If that’s what he really is.”

“We’ll be there.”

“He needs to dress nicely, too. No leather.”

“See you later, Ryan.”

“Sure, sure. You kids enjoy the rest of your day.”

Ryan went to his truck and climbed inside. The moment the engine started up, Blake burst out the front door again and glared at him until he backed out of the driveway and gone off down the street.

The alpha came over to him, furious but concerned. He grabbed Josh by the shoulders and spun him around, searching his body, looking for marks while sniffing him. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What did he say?”

Josh laughed a little and pushed at Blake with both hands, feeling an obligatory thrill of excitement at the hard muscle pressing against his palms. “I’m fine! I’m not hurt. Ryan wouldn’t hurt me. Okay?”

Blake’s eyes were very dark as he replied. “Sometimes men are capable of things we don’t expect. What did he say?”

Josh held out his arms. He didn’t really expect this to have any effect, not when Blake was practically prancing around with barely-restrained aggression, but he was surprised and delighted when the alpha went to him and pressed against him tightly. Their differences in stature were so great that even when Josh was the one doing the holding, it still looked as if Blake was holding him. He slid his hands up into the alpha’s hair. “It’s okay.”

For a moment, nothing happened. Then Blake sagged against him and heaved a huge sigh. “Okay. Fine. It’s okay, just like you said. What did he really want?”

And Josh told him, endeavoring to make the whole situation sound benign, almost commonplace.

“I don’t really have any nice clothes,” Blake mused.

Excitement formed tentatively inside him. “Does that mean you’ll come?”

“I can’t, because I don’t have nice clothes.”

“Then, we need to go shopping! It’ll be fun, I promise!”

Blake turned his gaze skyward. “If only the others could see me now, talking about going shopping. Fine. I’ll do it. But only because it’s you.”

Only because it’s you.

That was the mantra of their relationship, and Josh thought it was a fine one indeed.