Three’s Company
SURPRISINGLY, WHEN JONNY MESSAGED TRENT over social media later that morning, he was agreeable about the conditions Jared placed on the night. For some reason, Jonny was expecting more of a protest, but the only question Trent had for him was: “Will that make you happy?”
Jonny wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth, quickly telling Trent yes. A few seconds later, a single thumbs-up emoji popped up on the screen, along with instructions to meet at Sir Mixalot at eight thirty.
Looks like things are definitely a go then, Jonny thought, though he couldn’t really believe it.
He sent the confirmation to Jared, who would be away until just after noon visiting his friend Greg (the same guy who had told them about the overlook where they’d picnicked earlier in the week). Apparently, Greg lived in one of the fraternity houses on campus and wasn’t feeling well after the weekend. With the other fraternity brothers out doing their own thing, Jared agreed to run by the pharmacy to get him some medication.
Jonny was impressed by Jared’s willingness to help those who needed it, wishing he was there to massage his aching shoulder. Turning, he looked over to his right one, rubbing it as if to apologize.
“Well my friend,” he told it softly before wincing from a sudden lick of pain. “I have no idea what’s about to happen, but if this week has been anything to go by, you’re in for a brutal session.”
IT WAS TWENTY PAST EIGHT and Jared’s Maserati glided into the parking lot of the Summerset Center, avoiding the potholes Trent seemed to target with ease.
Jonny was in the passenger seat, perched as far forward as he could get. Trying to stave off a torrent of sweat, he was sure the leather seat beneath his gym shorts was already suffering.
Ahead and to the left of the windshield, speckled with drops from a brief evening shower, Swole’s red neon light burned brightly, calling as it always did the closer Jonny got to the strip mall.
This time, Jared veered right, cutting diagonally across the parking lot.
Jonny looked further down the line of stores. Past the clothing store which bordered Swole on the right, there were a few mom and pop eateries, then a comic book store named Heroes Never Die, then a nail salon, and at the very end, in a colorful kaleidoscope of colors, was Sir Mixalot.
“What exactly is that place?” Jonny asked, pondering their sign. It was a smiling unicorn holding a large cup in one neon configuration, switching to one that was vomiting a rainbow in the other.
“It’s a smoothie joint,” Jared replied. “Can’t you tell?”
“No, not right off,” Jonny said, peeking inside where he saw a gaudy arrangement of menus mounted on bright orange walls.
There were swirls of slushies –green, blue, red, purple, and yellow – behind banks of fresh ingredients that could make a wide variety of flavors when thrown into the blender. There was also a single, large man wearing the smallest black tank and shorts that the kids section of any good clothing store could stock.
“There’s Trent, looking douchey as ever,” Jared said as the car stopped. He switched it off and opened the door. “The place’s décor could be toned down a notch, but I used to come here all the time when I worked out at Swole. Greg does too after work; he’s at the comic book store just down there past the nail salon. The drinks here are actually really good.”
“Where do you work out now?” Jonny asked as he got out of the car. It just dawned on him that he’d never seen Jared lift a single weight.
“I just use the campus gym now.”
“Isn’t that place shitty?”
“Yes, if you’re comparing it to Swole, but it gets the job done,” Jared said. Both car doors slammed and the duo made their way for the store. “All I have to do is move heavy things and eat. My body responds well enough.”
“That’s nice…” Jonny said, his teeth clamped tight in a smile. What he was really thinking was: Fuck off, you lucky bastard.
Jared was first to reach the door, his outstretched arm awash in color as it grabbed the handle. He held it open, letting Jonny go in first.
“Oh lord, all the studs are coming tonight,” said the wisp of a man behind the counter.
He was fanning his flushed face with both hands and his uniform was splattered with colors. At first Jonny thought they were stains, but upon closer inspection they were there by design. The bright and vulgar look was topped off by a tiny purple hat with an even tinier unicorn horn jutting from the top.
“That’ll be later,” Trent said smugly, turning toward Jared and Jonny. The former was in his old gym gear; non-stylish, black and white, but functional. The latter was wearing the same outfit he’d worn on chest day, recently washed. Trent could smell the fabric softener as he got close.
“Whatever you say, T-bag,” Jared scoffed, talking to the menu instead of Trent.
Jonny giggled, but stopped short when he heard when Trent grunt.
“I can definitely tea bag ya too, J-rod,” Trent snipped. “Just like old times.”
The worker coughed lightly as if to let them know he was still there. His face had grown even more red from the recent exchange. His eyes were bulging, but Jonny couldn’t tell if they were due to fear or lust.
“C-can I h-help you gentlemen?”
“Yeah,” Trent said, still looking at Jared. “I’ll take a large banana cream, plus one whole banana to go. I’ll also buy whatever these two want.”
“Oh my,” said the clerk.
Jonny shot his eyes sideways toward Trent. A banana? What the hell does he have…
“I’ll take a cucumber mint,” said Jared suddenly, “along with one whole cucumber to go.”
“Ohhhhh my,” the clerk repeated, hands flapping wildly. They sounded like bird wings beating the air. “What size?”
“Large,” Jared said, giving the clerk a brief wink.
Trent chuckled, swiping a hand through his hair. Jared did the same and they both looked in Jonny’s direction.
So many options, and colors, and flavors.
“I… think…” Jared stammered. “I’m just going to stick with vanilla. M-medium, please.”
“Well, okay then,” said the clerk, mildly disappointed but after looking toward Trent he performed a monstrous gulp and shot his eyes right back at Jonny. “No extra long fruits or vegetables for you tonight?”
Jonny shook his head, afraid to look. His back was dripping with sweat and his ears burned red like the gym’s sign.
“Alrighty, I’ll get started on these right away. It should all be ready in about five minutes or so minutes.”
With that, the clerk sped away, returning a short time later with a banana and cucumber in hand. He set them down gingerly on the counter, then left again. Jonny could hear him muttering about muscles and being close to fainting, but the sound of blades crushing ice soon took over when things got really interesting and he could no longer make out what was being said.
Jonny risked a peek at his companions. Both Trent and Jared had already made it to the counter, grabbing hold of their respective items. Then, they looked at him with smiles so huge they were almost predatory.
“What do you plan to do with those?” Jonny asked.
“You’ll find out,” Trent told him.
“Yes, you will,” said Jared, but he was not looking toward Jonny at all.
“Vanilla,” said the clerk, resting a Styrofoam cup on the counter. The smiling unicorn was on it. “Cucumber Mint and Banana Cream,” he said a minute later, setting down two huge cups. The vomiting unicorn was on these.
“Hey that’s not fair,” Jonny said, snatching his cup off the counter. “Those are so much bigger.”
Trent shrugged, grabbing his smoothie before plunging a red plastic straw into it. Cream rose around the hole, frothy and light. Grabbing the tip of it, Trent raised it up and down slowly and it made a subtle squeaking noise like old springs on a worn mattress.
“Smallest cup for the smallest dude,” he said. “Be back, I’m going to pay for these.”
Jared was the last to get his drink. He took a sip and found it was light and refreshing.
“Wanna sip?” he asked Jonny, who was chugging away on his but looked like he needed something more refreshing.
“No thanks,” Jonny said, waving him off. He almost got brain freeze. “I’m just fine with this, because I’m sure tonight is going to be the furthest thing from vanilla I can expect.”
“You’re right about that,” Trent said as he returned.
He walked right up beside Jonny and wrapped a large arm around him, nearly ripping the shirt. Pulling Jonny close, he sucked hard on the straw.
Jonny could smell cologne as Trent leaned in toward his ear, whispering, “you wish that I was sucking you like that right now?”
Nervously, Jonny looked over to Jared, who was still standing a couple of feet away. He glanced over to Trent, whose emerald eyes were so close to his.
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, you won’t have to wait long. Neither will beer can boy.” He raised his voice. “Come on J-rod, let’s bounce. Swole closes up in about fifteen; we can get to work right after that.”
TRENT AND JONNY WALKED BENEATH the shopping center canopy on their way back to Swole. Jonny was getting even more uneasy the closer they got to the gym. He did his best to hide it, but his body language was telling all his secrets while every sound was amplified – from their footsteps, to Jared’s car engine as he pulled his car around to park next to Trent’s, to Trent madly sucking that creamy smoothie like there was no tomorrow.
“You okay?” Trent asked in his typical gruff tone.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jonny said unconvincingly.
“You sure about that?”
Jonny shook his head, taking a tiny sip. Maybe he should have gotten something more exotic to spice up his mood. They made aphrodisiac smoothies, right?
“I’m not sure about anything right now.”
“No need to fret, Jonny-boy, it’s not the end of the world. You know that the both of us are doing this because you said it makes you happy, right?”
Jonny stopped briefly, dizzy for a second, then resumed.
“You and Jared both seem fascinated with me being happy,” he said.
“Duh.”
“Well I can’t for the life of me figure out why either of you would be so invested.”
Trent walked a few paces (they were more self-assured strides than normal steps) and then looped the fingers of his free hand around the straps dangling in front of Jonny’s shorts.
“Stop overthinking things, Jonny-boy. I’m sure J-rod has his reasons, but for me it’s because you’re just you, man. I can’t explain it any better than that.” He sighed briefly. “You remember me telling you that most of my fuck buddies are the slam, bam, thank you ma’am variety?”
“Yeah,” Jonny said. “All of them.”
“All of them but one. There’s something different about you that I haven’t felt in a while.”
“From Jared?” Jonny asked, causing Trent to laugh loudly.
“So, he told you then? About us?”
Jonny took another swig of vanilla, nodding.
“Well shit. That takes a little bit of the edge off my attitude, doesn’t it?”
“No,” Jonny said, “quite the opposite for me. It seems that ever since I found out about you two, I feel closer to you than before. Both of you. I don’t really understand what that means right now.”
“It means you’re some kind of man-glue, Jonny-boy, and that takes talent, or better put, someone that can just love and be real without so many goddamn trappings that end up strangling the life out of a relationship.”
“Agreed, though I’m not so sure I like the man-glue part.”
“Jesus you’re whiny. First you don’t like being called a ‘buddy’ when I meet you.”
“Still don’t,” Jonny added with a smirk.
“And now,” Trent pressed on, “I’m pouring my heart out and you don’t like being called man-glue. What’s wrong with you?”
They both chuckled enthusiastically.
“I think you just answered your own question about why we like you,” Trent said. “You bring something to us that neither could do alone. Shit, not sure if I fully like the idea, but you’re turning into an integral part of my… our lives. Kind of like triple drop sets: hate doing them but in the end, you’re better off.”
Jonny didn’t say it outright, but he felt the same. His conversations today confirmed Trent and Jared both got something from him (in turn, he also thought, something that formed a bridge between them). In turn, he received what he needed from each of them.
“There you go again with your personal training lingo,” Jonny said lightheartedly.
“Hey, I tolerate your nerd speak.”
“Oh, trust me, I wasn’t complaining,” Jonny replied, grabbing the hand Trent was leading him with. He guided it toward his crotch, where Jonny’s hard dick was waiting.
“Here’s Jonny!” Trent said in a pretty good Jack Nicholson voice. Then he squeezed, causing Jonny to squint.
“Jared can see us, you know,” Jonny said, a staggered breath puffing out of his open mouth.
“Let him,” Trent said. “He’ll be better for it, too.”
Jonny smiled. Trent released his hold.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me this week.”
“Me too Jonny-boy. I can’t lie: this guy will be missing your ass when you go home.” Trent was pointing right at his dick (again), which always seemed to be semi-hard but right then it was straining against the baby-sized shorts he had on.
“Aww, I’m going to miss him too,” Jonny said. “More than the dumb thing he’s attached to.”
“Keep talking shit like that and you’ll regret it,” Trent said softly. “Besides, look. We’re here and you’re about to get it… really good.”
Jonny gulped, looked up and to the right, and saw the familiar interior of Swole come into view.