"You have a thing for her." Drew says it into the phone to me, and then repeats it in a whisper that I can totally hear.

"Are you kidding me, Drew? Is Beth right there in the room with you?" I ask. I should have known. Drew and his girlfriend have been joined at the hip since they started dating in eighth grade. They even picked the same college to attend to keep from being separated.

"I'm totally leaving," Beth says. I can hear her loud and clear on the phone now. I hear her stomp on the ground.

"Am I on speaker? Have I been on speaker this whole time?" I ask. "Beth, I came up with that fake-walk-away bullshit when we were twelve, so don't even try it."

"He just put you on speaker, Colt," Beth says.

"Both of you are dead to me."

"Don't be mad, Colt," Beth says. "I made Drew tell me."

"What all did he tell you?"

"That you devirginized a virgin," Beth answers. "And that you like her."

"Goddamn it, Drew, you have such a big fucking mouth," I say. "The virgin thing was between you and me. And I don't like her."

"It's so sweet, Colt," she says.

I groan. "That's awesome, Beth," I say. "I'm glad you think my sex life is sweet. Take me off speaker, Drew."

"I love you too, Colt," Beth calls.

"Tell me why I still talk to either of you," I say.

"You're stuck with me," Drew says. "And Beth –"

"She's practically your conjoined twin."

"You should have asked me, Colt," Beth says. "I could have given you the girl's perspective on the whole devirginizing thing, since Drew took mine."

"I'm not talking to you about how my brother deflowered you," I say. "And I don't have a thing for Cassie. We're friends. And she's tutoring me. And if either of you say anything to mom, you're dead. I mean it."

"Mom already mentioned it to me," Drew says.

"How does mom know I fucked Cassie?"

"She just said you were hooking up with a girl she met," Drew tells me. "She didn't say anything about fucking, thank God. I don't want to talk to mom about you fucking your girlfriend."

"She's not his girlfriend, Drew," Beth prods.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"But you want her to be your girlfriend," Beth says.

"I thought you were leaving the room, Beth."

"Don't get on him about it, Beth," Drew warns. "He's sensitive. He has feelings now."

"Fuck both of you guys."

"Wait, wait!" Beth exclaims. "For real, how long have I known you? Since we were in first grade?"

"Yeah, unfortunately."

"So, I can't remember you ever being so preoccupied with a girl."

"I'm not preoccupied."

"He's preoccupied with her vagina," Drew clarifies, and I hear Beth slap him.

"I'm getting off the phone now," I say loudly.

"Colt!" Beth yells. "Wait, for real."

I exhale heavily. "What?"

"I knew you had it in you," she says.

Drew laughs. "He's trying to put it in the girl," he says.

"Shut up, Drew," Beth shouts. "I'm being serious here, for real. I always knew that if you found a girl you really liked, the whole player thing would go out the window."

"No one's talking about finding a girl I like or about ditching the whole player thing," I protest. "I'm twenty-one. And I'll go pro next year. Everything's going to change. I'm not in a relationship. I'm going to be a ba-jillionaire and fuck a thousand models in my big-ass mansion on top of my piles of money."

"Don't be a jackass," Beth says.

"You two are the jackasses hassling me about a girlfriend," I protest.

I'm edgy and irritable at Beth's suggestion that I've somehow fallen for Cassie. Just because she's the only girl I want to sleep with doesn't mean this is going to last forever.

"I'm just saying that you're soft on her," Beth says. "That's not a bad thing. You're a good guy at heart, Colton. You just don't want to admit it."

"I'm hanging up now."