I held Irene's sleeping body close to mine, looking down into her sweet face instead of Papa P's.

"I know we're asking something nearly impossible from you, Cody. You've done an astounding job of moving on and living your life in these short months—I honestly didn't know it was possible for someone to work through as much trauma as you have in such a short time period. I hate asking you to try and relive any of it, but I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it was worth it."

I nodded, acknowledging his words but not agreeing. Hypnotherapy. Giving up control of my mind and body to a stranger?

"Dr. Clifford isn't really a stranger, is she?"

I hadn't realized until Papa P responded to my thoughts that I had actually been speaking aloud.

"It's just... I'm afraid of giving someone else control when it took so long for me to escape from being controlled before."

Papa P nodded without judgement. "I absolutely understand. But I can promise that none of us will let anyone use that control against you. All we want to do is keep whoever did this to you from doing it to anyone else, and help you close some remaining wounds, if possible. Putting away the men who took your youth from you might give you a lot of closure.”

I took several deep breaths. It was just me and Papa P in the living room. I'd asked Levi to change Allan's diaper once I’d realized what the conversation was going to be about. It wasn't that I didn't want Levi involved in the conversation, but I knew it upset him, thinking of me reliving that horror, even if he knew it would help me. Besides, I knew he could hear us talking from the nursery, so he wasn't missing anything.

Hell, it upset me. When Dr. Clifford had first brought it up, I'd refused outright. But if I could remember something that would protect other children like me...

I still couldn't shake the fear of losing myself in the memories, though. I knew Levi would be with me, but I wasn't the only one who would need support. I wasn't the only one who could be torn apart by my memories. I finally looked up at Papa P.

"I'll do it, but on one condition—you and Ray have to be there."

Papa P blinked. "Us? You're certain?"

Suddenly worried I'd crossed a line, I looked away again. "I mean, if you want to. If it's weird or something—"

Papa P put his hand on my knee. "I'd be honored."

I felt Levi's presence behind me and turned to look at him. "Is that okay with you?"

Before he answered, I knew I had done the right thing. Both of us would feel more comfortable with support there. "Whatever you need, babe." He sat beside me.

"Where's Allan?"

"Little monster fell asleep in the middle of me changing his diaper, so I laid him in the crib."

Papa P reached out for Irene. "Well, can I at least get some baby time with this angel? I promise I won’t wake her. You know, it's amazing how fast they grow up. Amy's already pulling herself up to stand."

After Papa P left, Levi settled Irene in her crib and pulled me into his lap.

"Are you really okay with this?" he asked.

I laid my head on his shoulder, considering my words before answering. "It's the right thing to do."

"But is it the right thing to do for you? I'm not trying to discourage you—I just don't want you doing this out of a sense of responsibility or guilt."

I twined my fingers with his, playing with them. "Is it okay if it's both? If I think it will help me get some closure and if I’m doing it out of a sense of responsibility?"

Levi dug his free hand into my hair and turned to kiss my forehead. "That's absolutely okay."

One of the twins turned in their sleep, the rustling static coming through the video baby monitor Levi insisted on having, even though we could hear practically every noise from any corner in the small house. I'll admit, it was fun to watch them when they didn't realize it.

"I'm just really scared of not being in control."

Levi rubbed his fingers through my hair, soothing me. "What can we do to alleviate that, do you think?"

His words weren't leading, but they were teasing. We hadn't been intimate since the babies were born, and certain parts of my body still weren't ready to play around, but other parts...

"Put me on the couch and stand up," I demanded, relishing the way Levi's muscles tensed with anticipation at the order.

He lifted me off his lap and set me to the side, then stood in front of me.

"Kneel."

Levi's obedience was swift and perfect, his head bowed in submission. What had I done to deserve him? I reached forward to rub his head lovingly.

"Is this something like what you had in mind?"

"Yes," Levi whispered.

I grabbed his hair and pulled his head back, so he was looking at me. "Yes, what?"

"Yes, sir," he said more firmly.

I released my grip and relaxed against the back of the couch. "Take off my pants."

I could have made it easy for him, lifting my ass and helping him slide my pants off my hips and down my legs, but I didn't. They were sweatpants, anyway. With Levi's strength, it was easy for him to lift my body and remove them. His fingers hesitated at the bottom of my shirt for a moment.

"Take that off, too."

Had this been any other situation with any other man, I would have felt vulnerable, being the one naked while the other was dressed. But being like this with Levi was powerful. He sat back on his heels, his eyes staring at my hardening dick hungrily.

I let him stare, his desire making me harden without touch. His fingers twitched on his thighs, impatient to touch me, but obedient still. When I had let the tension grow as much as either of us could bear, I finally gave him my next command.

"Suck me."

Levi bent down and sucked my dick into his mouth like I was a glass of water and he'd been stranded in a desert.

"Where are your hands?" I asked. Reluctantly, he raised them and set them next to my legs on the couch. "Were you touching yourself?"

Levi bobbed even more enthusiastically on my dick. I grabbed his hair and pulled his head back to look at me.

"What did I say about coming?"

His eyes were glassy with lust. "That I couldn't unless you told me."

"Good boy. And right now, your job is to focus on me. I don't care how hard that cock of yours is straining against your pretty underwear—what pair are you wearing today, anyway?"

"Red satin." He practically moaned the words.

"Good choice. Now, focus on me. I want you to bring me to the brink, but the moment I say stop, you stop, okay?"

When he nodded, I pushed his head back down and relaxed as he did his best to bring me to the brink of coming, and then I commanded, "Stop!"

He started to pull back, but I held his head in place, my dick still in his mouth. "I didn't say you could sit back. I only said you had to stop."

Levi moaned, and the light vibrations nearly did me in. I gripped his hair harder. "Easy, boy."

Once my body had calmed down, I told him to start again. I had him stop twice more, each time reaching a stopping point faster than the time before. He held my dick in his mouth, trying hard not to pant, which would cause movement that could make me come. I gulped, my mouth dry, my mind finally eased by my control and his obedience, but my body needing release.

"Make me come," I said, and it was like I had flipped a switch. Levi sucked me down the back of his throat like he had no gag reflex, like he was going to pull my orgasm out of me in an instant, and he nearly succeeded. My back arched off the couch as I thrust into his mouth, coming down his throat in a seemingly endless orgasm—all my need having built up since the night the twins were born, bundled into this moment, and released into my alpha's willing mouth.

I collapsed back onto the couch and Levi rested his head on my thigh. Reaching down, I rubbed his shoulder. "You're still tense," I said. "How are you doing?"

"Sir, I need..." Levi's voice was broken, as if he wasn't completely there. "I need..."

"You need to come?"

He nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Then come."

His body seized as he grunted painfully, coming at just my word, his head still pressed against my leg as I caressed his skin.

As we sat still, quietly recovering, one of the babies started to cry. Levi lifted his head with a dazed look, as if he didn't know quite where he was. I leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "You did good, alpha. Don't worry about this. I'll get it."

I slid out from underneath him and his head fell on the couch. I snagged my pants and pulled them on as I went to pick up Allan before he woke up Irene. Levi was sound asleep, still kneeling on the floor with his head resting on the couch. He'd known exactly what I'd needed, without using the words to say it.

Yes, if we could do that a few more times between now and the hypnotism session, I thought I would be in a very good place.

Once I made up my mind, I didn't want to wait long—I just wanted to get it over with. So, a few days after agreeing to the hypnotherapy, I found myself lying on a couch—the first time I'd actually done so in all my visits with Dr. Clifford.

"How are you feeling, Cody?" Dr. Clifford asked.

Ray, Papa, and Levi sat to the far edges of the room, while Dr. Clifford sat on a chair close to me.

"Nervous."

"That's understandable, but I promise, there's nothing to be nervous about. I won't actually be able to tell you to do anything, I will serve as more of a guide. I will suggest things, but if at any moment it becomes too much for you, you will be able to pull yourself out, okay?"

Levi and I had done a lot of research on hypnotherapy in the last few days, and everything Dr. Clifford said matched with what we'd read, but I still couldn't help but worry that I would fall into a state where I wouldn't be able to resist suggestions, or that I wouldn't be able to come out of it easily.

"I think we're ready to get started. First thing, Cody, do I have your permission to touch your shoulder during this session?"

"Um, yeah. That's fine." It seemed a little odd that she was asking permission for such a simple thing, but maybe it was just a therapist thing.

"Thank you. I appreciate your trust. Now, I need you to close your eyes and breathe deeply and evenly. Count your breaths in and out... one on the inhale, two on the exhale. When you reach ten, I will touch your shoulder and you will go deeper into the trance. If you're still counting, restart from one. When it's time to wake up, I'll tell you to open your eyes. You'll remember everything, but you will wake up. Okay? And one... two..."

I closed my eyes and followed his directions, counting my breaths in and out until his hand fell on my shoulder. It was as if a heavy blanket fell on me with his touch. I started counting again until he touched my shoulder again. We went through the process several times, and I forgot to keep counting, sinking deeper into a state of relaxation I'd never experienced before.

"Can you remember the last time you saw your parents, Cody?"

A vision swirled and solidified in front of me. “I can. We're all getting ready to leave for the day—Dad to work, Mom to the library, me to school. Mom hands us each our lunch that she had packed, and off we go.”

"Excellent. Since that was the last time you saw your parents, did something unusual happen that day?"

“I'm walking home from school. It's late. I've had band practice, so it’s dark. My flute is tucked under my arm. I'm thinking about the algebra test I have tomorrow... I haven't had a chance to study because of band practice, and I'm not very good at it. Maybe Dad will help me to—

“I slap at a sting on my neck. It's kind of late in the year for mosquitoes, isn't it? The ground is covered with a hard layer of white frost. No, the frost is gray now. How strange. It's getting darker…”

"Where are you now, Cody?"

“I think... I just woke up. I don't recognize this room. Maybe it's—ow!”

"Did something hurt you?"

“My hands are tied to the bed. So are my feet. What’s going on? There are footsteps outside the door. Someone is coming! I'm trying to get out of the ties, but they hurt my wrists. I'm—”

"Fast forward a little, Cody. Find a place outside. Tell me about it."

“I'm not tied down anymore. I'm outside a house. All the houses look similar here. This one is painted a dark beige with forest-green shutters. Other kids are playing frisbee down the street, but they belong to other houses. I'm not allowed to play. They're watching. They want to see if I can behave in public and remember my place.”

"Who is watching, Cody?"

“They are.”

"Is that house in front of you where they are keeping you?”

“Yes.”

"Hmm... Cody, can you see a street number for the house you're outside?"

It takes me a minute to uncover it underneath the dead ivy clinging to the mailbox, but I finally have a number. “1516.”

"You don't see a street sign by any chance, do you?"

“Yeah, yeah I do. Partridge Lane.” A gray sedan pulls up in front of the house. “Uh-oh.”

"Is something wrong, Cody?"

“A bad car is here. His car. He won't like me being outside. I need to go. I need to get inside before he gets mad. I need to be good. I promise I'll be good. I didn't talk to anyone! I promise! I promise!”

"Open your eyes, Cody."

I bolted up from the couch, seeking the comfort of Levi's face. He was next to me in an instant, his hands framing my face, his eyes darting between mine. I gulped and steadied my breath. "I'm okay," I assured him.

Dr. Clifford brought me a glass of water and I downed it. Levi sat next to me on the couch, holding my hand.

"That was surreal," I said. "I really felt as if I was back there, but the moment you told me to open my eyes, I remembered what we were doing, why I was remembering those things."

Dr. Clifford nodded. "You did extremely well, Cody. How are you feeling now?"

I did a mental scan of my mind and body. I had been absolutely terrified in the seconds before Dr. Clifford told me to open my eyes, but that fear had already faded. "I'm feeling okay, actually."

"Do you feel comfortable talking about what you saw and felt?"

I handed Levi my glass of water and he immediately refilled it for me.

"Yeah, I think I can do that."

"Do you remember the car pulling up before I woke you?"

"Yeah, I remember everything. I think."

"Do you know who was in the car? You seemed very afraid of him."

I closed my eyes and concentrated but shook my head. "I know he was a bad man and I was terrified of him, but I couldn't see him. I can't remember his name. It's like when a word is on the tip of your tongue, but he's a monster on the edge of my brain. I can see the shape of him, but I can't describe or name him."

"I've already forwarded the information on to Jonah," Ray said, stepping forward with Papa P. "They all decided Preston needed help watching the twins, so they're all at your house."

Levi blinked in surprise. "All of them?"

"All of them," Ray answered.

"Can we go home now, Dr. Clifford?" I asked. "I'm ready to snuggle my babies."

"I have no objections, Cody. I know you only consented to this session to try to uncover the men who took you, but you did extremely well. Maybe next session we can talk about using this form of therapy to help you work through some of your fears and stress patterns? I promise, it will be less dramatic than this."

It really hadn't been as bad as I'd feared, but I wasn't ready to commit to anything. The session had left me feeling wiped. "I'll think on it," was all I said.

Levi wrapped his arm around me as we stood. "Let's go see what mischief everyone is getting up to."